Comments | the_snarkery: Chapter Thirty One

merrymelody in the_snarkery

Chapter Thirty One

Apr 12, 2005 14:15

O.W.L.S

Still working on chapters 24, 25, 26, 28 and 29.
This one is possibly the most hypocritical since ‘The Centuar and the Sneak’, I’m pleased to report!

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Comments 15

jollityfarm April 12 2005, 23:13:44 UTC

he's so modest and self-effacing he never notices, unlike Ron who enjoys attention (I imagine this is the authorial intent) or that he accepts it as his due, and is so used to it that he's not even aware of it (ba-da-bing!)

These are substitutes, and obviously not nearly to the Harry standard. We should be grateful that they managed it at all. It's a little like the way in which we wouldn't bother being amazed by a human walking on her hind legs, but would be pretty impressed to see a lion do it.

And of course, Harry takes the loyal friends position of loving your friend despite his attention-whoring, because he would never ever do that himself.

Harry does not attention-whore. He is modest and quiet, and hates attention. Remember, people keep harassing him even though he is tormented and they do not understand the inner struggle of one who is tormented by having to take on the heroic blah blah blah zzzzzzzzz

But of course! That’s what we girls do when we lose. Or are scared. Or break a nail. Cry.It's what Cho in particular does, ( ... )

merrymelody April 13 2005, 10:52:59 UTC

Yeah, I love that her boyfriend dying is treated as such a minor matter. Well, Harry has a HANGNAIL!!!111 God, how dare she be so selfish as to be upset? (I'd pay JKR £1000 if next book, Harry's grief over Sirius was treated the same way. 'Can't you please stop be upset, Harry? I've got enough problems myself, and it's really inconveniencing me!' Of course, I'm fairly sure this would be meaningless to JKR ;)

When I was at school, I got a reputation for crying all the time. I can't remember what I was crying about, but I certainly got the impression that crying when one is upset is a ridiculous thing to do and deserves to be ridiculed.

Yes, I was like that at school, too, or so my friends tell me. And now I never, ever cry.

Anyway, my point is that I really can't go terribly far to sympathise with Harry about Cho's emotional state.

Yes, it's funny that in a series where emotions are so highly valued, there's huge contempt for fear or tears.

Also, if Gryffindor were that accustomed to losing - being the put-upon underdogs and all ( ... )

sieda April 13 2005, 01:06:01 UTC

Does Harry need to be in Newt Potions to be an Auror? Because it seems to be mentioned a lot. I thought that it was only recommended that he had some potions, not that it was absolutely required. I am probably wrong, I can't check myself since I don't own any of the Harry Potter books (bad hp-fan, bad!).

I’m wondering how high Voldemort’s voice could possibly be.

Whenever Voldemort is mentioned I can't help but picture the bad guy from Who framed Roger Rabbit. That high squeaky voice and red glowing eyes.

pacoman April 13 2005, 04:13:36 UTC

According to McGonnagal during the whole career advice thing from a few chapters ago, you need NEWTS on Transfig, Charms, Herbology, Potions and DADA to be admitted into Auror apprenticeship. This, of course, implies that Tonks somehow managed to do good enough (read: not cause much chaos-by-clumsiness) at Potions to get that O in her OWL. Wonders never cease.

Whenever Voldemort is mentioned I can't help but picture the bad guy from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. That high squeaky voice and red glowing eyes.

Voldemort = Judge Doom = Christopher Lloyd? It fits.

merrymelody April 13 2005, 08:22:14 UTC

This, of course, implies that Tonks somehow managed to do good enough

Also, apparently no Aurors have been taken on in the last three years, yet Tonks appears to have joined up fairly recently. *looks suspicious* Can she be trusted? (Me, I wouldn't want to put my life in the hands of someone who could appear as anyone else, but I'm sure that's just an example of how totally prejudiced and racist I am, or something.)

jollityfarm April 13 2005, 20:23:31 UTC

Tonks has only been an Auror for a year. So she says. Of course, I think that the entire character could have been cut out of the story with literally no disturbance of anything whatsoever (and was only shoehorned in there so that Rowling could say "look, an ass-kicking girl!!!1") so any desire to see her come to something or to wish her out of the book altogether is fine by me. But I don't think she's ever going to be anything other than decoration, and this was probably yet another thing that wasn't caught in the totally extensive "editing" process.

Thread 7

sistermagpie April 13 2005, 04:16:02 UTC

And I’m so glad to hear Ginny managed to get the Snitch! I was worried that she wouldn’t be mentioned at all!

She's a good sport playing Seeker the year Keeper suddenly becomes capable of winning the game.

Any thoughts on whether Lupin did or not? I’m going to go with ‘no’, personally

Perhaps he forgot?:-D (He was distracted by Sirius giving him a blowjob just as he was going to call Snape. Then they had to discuss what the two of them were getting Harry as a joint after-OWLS present.)

So, rehashed predictions: Full marks in DADA and Potions, E in Transfigurations and Care of Magical Creatures, Acceptable/E in Charms and Herbology, and bad marks in Astronomy and History of Magic.

Maybe he'll get full marks in CoMC too to show everyone what a great teacher Hagrid is.

Professor Marchbanks seemed to be a little deaf; she was answering Professor Umbridge very loudly considering they were only a foot apart.

*Is furious.* Don't be so naive! CLEARLY she's being racist by only pretending not to be able to hear her!!

Anyway, ( ... )

merrymelody April 13 2005, 10:09:05 UTC

I was SOOOOO embarassed OMG!>:-000
...
(He was distracted by Sirius giving him a blowjob just as he was going to call Snape. Then they had to discuss what the two of them were getting Harry as a joint after-OWLS present.)

And you say you won't write fanfic! ;)
That was probably better than about 90% off ff.net, depressingly. You missed out a reference to R/S's hand-fasting ceremony, though.

Err...anyone else beginning to think she and Neville's gran are more than friends? Suddenly I'm picturing them like two longtime companions in tweed who fell in love after The Great War.

Mr. Longbottom's not around anymore, after all...
I don't know, but I always got that vibe from McGonagall, personally.

And people worry Snape couldn't produce a Patronus?

Why do people worry about this? Snape hasn't suffered nearly as much as Harry, who has more problems than anyone else ever, and Harry can do it. Of course, Snape isn't as naturally talented, I assume...

How about picturing Harry kicked out of Hogwarts on his arse? EXPECTO PATRONUM!Imagine ( ... )

sistermagpie April 13 2005, 04:16:12 UTC

Seriously, it does seem as Hermione has progressed rather rapidly from being exhausted and angry with Hagrid at the beginning of this chapter to now wildly defending him (even comparing their loss of him later in the chapter to Dumbledore’s exit, and we all know Hermione’s opinion of the Big D) more so than Harry or Ron.

Jeez, do you not see how hard it is to be Hermione? She has to keep, what, 15 plotlines going? Before she was telling us how she really had something to worry about with Hagrid because he'd done something stupid. Now she's reminding us she's got more to worry about because Umbridge will use this against him. And she's got Arithmancy--THE HARDEST OWL THERE IS!!!

Reasonable be damned and kill all cowards.

And once again "cowardly" somehow means facing up to Gryffindors who are going to fuck you up. I wouldn't go near Hagrid.

I’m wondering how high Voldemort’s voice could possibly be. Besides Harry, only dogs can hear it. Though if lack of human kindness makes your voice high, this whole universe must sound ( ... )

merrymelody April 13 2005, 08:39:14 UTC

And once again "cowardly" somehow means facing up to Gryffindors who are going to fuck you up.

Well, that and they were outnumbering poor, helpless giant Hagrid. Which would have been an example of how popular their leader is if it had been Harry or Dumbledore, I guess.

Part two! jollityfarm April 13 2005, 17:55:08 UTC

Why would someone want to make an egg-cup do somersaults?!

Indeed. Wouldn't the egg fall out? Also, there was some spell about turning a guinea-pig into a guinea-fowl, or possibly the other way around. Why on earth would you want to do that? Oh, we're fresh out of of guinea-fowl - unless I use this cunning spell! Is there a spell for, say, turning the bendy thing I got with my flat-pack desk that turned out to be no use whatsoever into something I might have a use for? Although they did turn matches into needles in their first lesson, and you never know when you might want a needle.

This is when I’d say ‘Yeah, you promised’ and back away, sharpish. *is disloyal*Everything Harry does is clever (just ask the authorial voice), but I think this is the perfect situation to test out the "cruel to be kind" phrase. For example, Harry would complain most heartily if Ron were to suggest that they did something besides the fuckwitted thing Harry was about to do, but if Ron could prevent it he might prevent some grand catastrophe. Of course, ( ... )

Re: Part two! merrymelody April 13 2005, 18:05:21 UTC

You can can't say he doesn't try :/

Then he'll look sad and lecture Sirius and Severus on the importance of putting aside grudges and making an effort or something.

Also, there was some spell about turning a guinea-pig into a guinea-fowl, or possibly the other way around.

And animals into watergoblets. Which sounds...useful. Except who'd want to drink out of a cup made of animals? Not to mention, Hogwarts is rich and has zillions of goblets, probably made of gold. I guess if the Weasleys were putting on a dinner party or something, but frankly, I think I'd laugh more at people who had to turn their pets into cutlery than people who just used informal mugs.

She didn't suffer because of something she did wrong, oh no!Hagrid/Hermione, baby. It's my OTP. They can whinge for hours about how OMG oppressed!11 they are, and why do people think that giants/Muggleborns are crazy and dangerous just because the most prominent ones (ie them) are indeed, crazy and dangerous?! and how they should be allowed to do anything they want, always, and ( ... )