Someone told me that if you lock eyes with Santa Claus on the Eve of Christmas, you immediately must challenege him to a duel. But it's not just any gentlemanly duel, you each must take an ordinary trashcan lid and sled down the steepest plane while trying to kill eachother with a fresh mistletoe branch. They say if you don't beat him, he makes you combust into a festive blaze with the sheer shockwave of his laugh.
Shit, I hope no one beat me to this: Santa's not actually fat. The coat he wears is purposefully five sizes too large so that he can catch the wind and float off into the night.
It also flashes techinicolor so that he can blind all who oppose him while he makes his rounds.
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They say if you don't beat him, he makes you combust into a festive blaze with the sheer shockwave of his laugh.
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It also flashes techinicolor so that he can blind all who oppose him while he makes his rounds.
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