The First
Title: The First
Pairing: One/Two (with hints of several other pairings)
Genre: Slash
Rating: PG-13
Beta: vandonovan Thanks, my friend!
Word Count: 2,090
A/N: Written for livii because we both have a twisted sense of what we like.
The Doctor had sent Ben and Polly to find Dodo. He hoped that she was feeling better. He hated having to hypnotize her, but WOTAN’s hold on her mind was strong. A few days rest was what she needed, and the Doctor hoped that she would be much better when she returned. Stepping up to the TARDIS, the Doctor slid his key into the lock and stepped inside, deciding to check a few things before their departure. Since he knew exactly where he was, he might be able to calibrate the instruments correctly this time.
His back was bent over the console and the Doctor was so absorbed in his task that he hadn’t heard the doors open.
? ? ?
The Doctor walked down the street, his hearts heavy. He recognized the things he passed, but he paid them no mind. He had passed three police boxes and ignored them. They were just what they seemed. Suddenly he stopped and looked at the fourth blue box he came across. It had a sign hanging on the lock that said, “Out of Order.” He stared at it for a long minute, his fingers at his mouth in indecision. His mind made up, he cast his eyes up and down the street. Fishing his key out of his pocket, he slid it into the lock.
Just like the Doctor knew it would, the lock clicked, and the doors opened.
He was already four steps into the Console Room when he saw himself. “Oh dear,” he whispered.
The Doctor spun from where he stood at the console. “Who are you?” he demanded. “What are you doing in my TARDIS? How did you get in here?”
The dark-haired Doctor pulled at his fingers and stared at his younger self. “Ah. Well. I have a key.” He held up his evidence for his other self to examine.
Crossing the room in quick strides that belied his apparent age, the Doctor snatched the key from the fingers of his other self. And then he dropped it. Upon touching the skin of the intruder, he suddenly knew who he was.
“What are you doing here?” asked the younger one.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” the older one said, somewhat childishly.
“Where else would I be, hmm?” the younger one tutted, grabbing his lapels.
“I thought you were still busy dealing with WOTAN.”
His younger self narrowed his eyes. “Goodness me, it seems that not only do I lose any dress sense, I also lose my memory when I regenerate!” With that last barb, he turned his back to the Doctor and went back to the console.
The older Doctor stood, agape, a frown on his brow. “What--?”
Before he could utter another word, his younger self turned to face him again. “What are you doing here, anyway? Did you just think you could barge your way into our TARDIS? Don’t you realize the danger you’re putting us in? They’re sure to find us, now!”
Bending down, the Doctor snatched the key from the floor and stuffed it back in his pocket. “I came to collect something.”
“And what makes you think I have it, hmm?”
“Well, I had it now,” he said pointing at his other self, “and somehow between now and now I managed to misplace it.” Without saying another word he marched past his other self, who was protesting the intrusion, and through the inner doors. He made his way down the corridor that was familiar yet not, and pushed his way into his room.
For a moment he stood on the threshold, disoriented.
“Well?” said a voice from behind him.
Ignoring himself, the Doctor stepped into the room and over to the desk. He began digging around the papers and books, hoping to find it.
The Doctor followed him into the room, watching himself for a moment before going to sit in the chaise longue in the corner. He took off his hat and cape and sat comfortably, watching himself get all worked up over nothing. “If you tell me what I’m looking for I might be able to tell you where it is,” he said, not altogether helpfully.
“I’m looking for the key,” he said. “I know I saw it here somewhere.”
“What key?”
“The one key that was left after we left Marinus.” He turned to face himself. “Remember, there was the fake key that Ian used in the computer, and the real one, which he kept? He gave it to me, and I want it.”
“He gave it to me, I think you mean,” he said, his tone sharp. “Where did you lose it?”
“If I knew that, I’d find it, wouldn’t I?”
The Doctor stood up and crossed over to himself. “And just why do you want it so badly, hmm?”
The older incarnation of the Doctor stopped his searching. He slowly straightened up and let out a sigh. He turned to face himself. “Ian.”
“Chesterton?” He sounded confused. “What about him?”
He looked into his own eyes. “He was the first wasn’t he?” he asked.
“The first?”
The dark-haired Doctor said nothing in reply, just stared sadly at himself.
Finally, the Doctor understood. “Yes, he was.” He wasn’t the first Human. And he wasn’t the first male. But he was the first Human male. The Doctor had always had a soft spot for him. Although the memory of Steven was still fresh in his mind, he still thought fondly of Ian. And of Barbara, too. “And you’ve lost the key that he gave me. How very clumsy of you.”
“I know I must still have it somewhere,” he said pulling on his fingers again.
“And so you want my key so, if by some chance, you happen to find yours, you can create a wonderful terrible paradox.” He rubbed his fingers together in agitation.
“That’s not my intention.”
“No, but we know it could happen, and, eh, it probably will, if your wardrobe is any indication of your organizational skills. And if this little conversation hasn’t already drawn the eye of the Time Lords, a paradox like that certainly would!”
At the mention of their people, both Doctors stood silent. Neither had spoken directly of them in decades, centuries even, and now that the name was out there he felt like they would suddenly appear and drag him home.
After a moment of awkward silence the Doctor’s first incarnation began to giggle. “I’m still running, then?”
“Yes. But I still worry.”
“As do I, young man, as do I.” His eyes grew distant, thinking of Susan and of his life on Gallifrey before he left.
The older Doctor thought for a moment, his memories catching up with him. Although he hadn’t remembered this meeting a few minutes ago, as the time passed he began to remember it from the other side, from his younger self. He remembered what happened next. All he needed was to create a major paradox in addition this minor one. They would find him for sure, then!
Stepping forward, he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know you miss Ian too, so I’ll leave the key. But remember that you’re going to lose it someday soon, and you’ll come back here looking for it.”
The Doctor sighed. “It doesn’t get any easier, does it?”
The other shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid not. And as you’ve learned with Steven, he can’t replace Ian. And even dear Mr. Taylor left a unique void in my life.” The Doctor almost said something about Ben, but remembered that although this younger version of himself had met Ben, he didn’t yet know that Ben was going to travel with him. And as for Jamie. He took a deep, shuddering breath. He didn’t want to think about losing Jamie.
The Doctor looked into the eyes of his older self. “Ah. I see you’ve lost some of your own.”
He nodded. “One, yes.” Ben was gone. Which was what had sent him back here, looking for remembrances of Ian. Not that the two men were anything alike. It really didn’t matter, anyway. He still had Jamie. But as fond as he was of Jamie, he still had an empty place in his hearts for Ian. For all of them. None could ever replace the others.
The younger man smiled. “So. What have we got, hmm?”
The dark-haired Doctor stepped closer to himself, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Only myself,” he whispered before he pressed their mouths together.
His lips were soft and cool to the touch, and although he hesitated for a moment, he relented at last, because he knew he was right. All he would ever have would be himself. As much as he liked having people travel with him, they couldn’t make up for the fact that he was still alone. He had no family, no other people of his race that he could call on. Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? To be exiles? His own words echoed in his head, and he felt them stir in his hearts and mind.
He was alone. With only himself as companion. The Doctor responded to the kiss, pulling his older self closer, holding him tighter.
Neither was sure who made the first move, but they made their way to the bed, shedding clothes as they went. The older Doctor found it somewhat surreal to be again lying on blankets that he hadn’t seen in years. The thoughts were pushed aside as quickly as his trousers. Cool lips working their way down his chest and abdomen brought him back to the present - if there ever was such a thing.
The Doctor pushed his fingers through the silver hair of his previous incarnation, and for a moment he stopped and marvelled at it. He’d forgotten just how soft it really was. The Doctor’s cold ring on his hip forced his attention onto other matters, and he pulled that hand up to his chest and held it against him, his fingers tracing around the ring he used to wear, a smile on his face.
“You didn’t need it after I regenerated, did you?”
He shook his head. “No.” The Doctor paused. “I still have it, though, and I know exactly where it is.”
“Oh, that you managed not to lose, hmm?” he chided.
“Some things are more important,” he said gently.
“Mmm,” he said, disbelieving. The doubtful moan became a groan of pleasure as his older self slid his hands down his body, touching him, exciting him.
Skin touched skin and sighs matched to moans. Limbs were entwined and bodies came together with gratitude and sorrow. Four hearts began to beat as two, and he didn’t feel his loss as deeply. Either of him.
The Doctor fell back against the pillows, panting but satisfied. He stared into his own eyes, not sure what to say. It was just a temporary solution to a permanent problem. After a moment he said, “Dodo will be returning soon, I think.”
“Oh, dear,” said the older Doctor. “Oh crumbs.” He couldn’t tell himself that Dodo wasn’t coming back. She was just one more person that left him. Alone.
The younger Doctor smiled a patient smile. “Just go. I’m sure your … friends are waiting for you.”
The Doctor nodded. “Perhaps I should.” He gathered his clothes and dressed, finding it somewhat odd that his younger self watched. But then, he remembered doing that. He stepped up to the bed and kissed himself one last time. “Thank you,” he said softly.
The younger man smiled back, silently.
Stepping away from the bed, the Doctor crossed to the door before turning back to face him. “I get the feeling that we’ll be seeing each other again, and probably soon.”
“Perhaps,” was his reply. He watched his older self leave the room, pulling on his shoes as he did so.
Reluctantly, he pulled himself from his bed and dressed. The Doctor went to the desk that his other self had half-heartedly searched. Pulling open the second drawer, he lifted out the plastic key that Ian had given him. He held it for a long moment between his fingers before placing it back in the drawer, next to an Aztec brooch.
Snatching his cape and hat from the chaise longue he cursed his sentimentality and left his room. Making one last check of the console, the Doctor stepped outside the TARDIS to await the return of Dodo.
Pairing: One/Two (with hints of several other pairings)
Genre: Slash
Rating: PG-13
Beta: vandonovan Thanks, my friend!
Word Count: 2,090
A/N: Written for livii because we both have a twisted sense of what we like.
The Doctor had sent Ben and Polly to find Dodo. He hoped that she was feeling better. He hated having to hypnotize her, but WOTAN’s hold on her mind was strong. A few days rest was what she needed, and the Doctor hoped that she would be much better when she returned. Stepping up to the TARDIS, the Doctor slid his key into the lock and stepped inside, deciding to check a few things before their departure. Since he knew exactly where he was, he might be able to calibrate the instruments correctly this time.
His back was bent over the console and the Doctor was so absorbed in his task that he hadn’t heard the doors open.
? ? ?
The Doctor walked down the street, his hearts heavy. He recognized the things he passed, but he paid them no mind. He had passed three police boxes and ignored them. They were just what they seemed. Suddenly he stopped and looked at the fourth blue box he came across. It had a sign hanging on the lock that said, “Out of Order.” He stared at it for a long minute, his fingers at his mouth in indecision. His mind made up, he cast his eyes up and down the street. Fishing his key out of his pocket, he slid it into the lock.
Just like the Doctor knew it would, the lock clicked, and the doors opened.
He was already four steps into the Console Room when he saw himself. “Oh dear,” he whispered.
The Doctor spun from where he stood at the console. “Who are you?” he demanded. “What are you doing in my TARDIS? How did you get in here?”
The dark-haired Doctor pulled at his fingers and stared at his younger self. “Ah. Well. I have a key.” He held up his evidence for his other self to examine.
Crossing the room in quick strides that belied his apparent age, the Doctor snatched the key from the fingers of his other self. And then he dropped it. Upon touching the skin of the intruder, he suddenly knew who he was.
“What are you doing here?” asked the younger one.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” the older one said, somewhat childishly.
“Where else would I be, hmm?” the younger one tutted, grabbing his lapels.
“I thought you were still busy dealing with WOTAN.”
His younger self narrowed his eyes. “Goodness me, it seems that not only do I lose any dress sense, I also lose my memory when I regenerate!” With that last barb, he turned his back to the Doctor and went back to the console.
The older Doctor stood, agape, a frown on his brow. “What--?”
Before he could utter another word, his younger self turned to face him again. “What are you doing here, anyway? Did you just think you could barge your way into our TARDIS? Don’t you realize the danger you’re putting us in? They’re sure to find us, now!”
Bending down, the Doctor snatched the key from the floor and stuffed it back in his pocket. “I came to collect something.”
“And what makes you think I have it, hmm?”
“Well, I had it now,” he said pointing at his other self, “and somehow between now and now I managed to misplace it.” Without saying another word he marched past his other self, who was protesting the intrusion, and through the inner doors. He made his way down the corridor that was familiar yet not, and pushed his way into his room.
For a moment he stood on the threshold, disoriented.
“Well?” said a voice from behind him.
Ignoring himself, the Doctor stepped into the room and over to the desk. He began digging around the papers and books, hoping to find it.
The Doctor followed him into the room, watching himself for a moment before going to sit in the chaise longue in the corner. He took off his hat and cape and sat comfortably, watching himself get all worked up over nothing. “If you tell me what I’m looking for I might be able to tell you where it is,” he said, not altogether helpfully.
“I’m looking for the key,” he said. “I know I saw it here somewhere.”
“What key?”
“The one key that was left after we left Marinus.” He turned to face himself. “Remember, there was the fake key that Ian used in the computer, and the real one, which he kept? He gave it to me, and I want it.”
“He gave it to me, I think you mean,” he said, his tone sharp. “Where did you lose it?”
“If I knew that, I’d find it, wouldn’t I?”
The Doctor stood up and crossed over to himself. “And just why do you want it so badly, hmm?”
The older incarnation of the Doctor stopped his searching. He slowly straightened up and let out a sigh. He turned to face himself. “Ian.”
“Chesterton?” He sounded confused. “What about him?”
He looked into his own eyes. “He was the first wasn’t he?” he asked.
“The first?”
The dark-haired Doctor said nothing in reply, just stared sadly at himself.
Finally, the Doctor understood. “Yes, he was.” He wasn’t the first Human. And he wasn’t the first male. But he was the first Human male. The Doctor had always had a soft spot for him. Although the memory of Steven was still fresh in his mind, he still thought fondly of Ian. And of Barbara, too. “And you’ve lost the key that he gave me. How very clumsy of you.”
“I know I must still have it somewhere,” he said pulling on his fingers again.
“And so you want my key so, if by some chance, you happen to find yours, you can create a wonderful terrible paradox.” He rubbed his fingers together in agitation.
“That’s not my intention.”
“No, but we know it could happen, and, eh, it probably will, if your wardrobe is any indication of your organizational skills. And if this little conversation hasn’t already drawn the eye of the Time Lords, a paradox like that certainly would!”
At the mention of their people, both Doctors stood silent. Neither had spoken directly of them in decades, centuries even, and now that the name was out there he felt like they would suddenly appear and drag him home.
After a moment of awkward silence the Doctor’s first incarnation began to giggle. “I’m still running, then?”
“Yes. But I still worry.”
“As do I, young man, as do I.” His eyes grew distant, thinking of Susan and of his life on Gallifrey before he left.
The older Doctor thought for a moment, his memories catching up with him. Although he hadn’t remembered this meeting a few minutes ago, as the time passed he began to remember it from the other side, from his younger self. He remembered what happened next. All he needed was to create a major paradox in addition this minor one. They would find him for sure, then!
Stepping forward, he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know you miss Ian too, so I’ll leave the key. But remember that you’re going to lose it someday soon, and you’ll come back here looking for it.”
The Doctor sighed. “It doesn’t get any easier, does it?”
The other shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid not. And as you’ve learned with Steven, he can’t replace Ian. And even dear Mr. Taylor left a unique void in my life.” The Doctor almost said something about Ben, but remembered that although this younger version of himself had met Ben, he didn’t yet know that Ben was going to travel with him. And as for Jamie. He took a deep, shuddering breath. He didn’t want to think about losing Jamie.
The Doctor looked into the eyes of his older self. “Ah. I see you’ve lost some of your own.”
He nodded. “One, yes.” Ben was gone. Which was what had sent him back here, looking for remembrances of Ian. Not that the two men were anything alike. It really didn’t matter, anyway. He still had Jamie. But as fond as he was of Jamie, he still had an empty place in his hearts for Ian. For all of them. None could ever replace the others.
The younger man smiled. “So. What have we got, hmm?”
The dark-haired Doctor stepped closer to himself, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Only myself,” he whispered before he pressed their mouths together.
His lips were soft and cool to the touch, and although he hesitated for a moment, he relented at last, because he knew he was right. All he would ever have would be himself. As much as he liked having people travel with him, they couldn’t make up for the fact that he was still alone. He had no family, no other people of his race that he could call on. Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? To be exiles? His own words echoed in his head, and he felt them stir in his hearts and mind.
He was alone. With only himself as companion. The Doctor responded to the kiss, pulling his older self closer, holding him tighter.
Neither was sure who made the first move, but they made their way to the bed, shedding clothes as they went. The older Doctor found it somewhat surreal to be again lying on blankets that he hadn’t seen in years. The thoughts were pushed aside as quickly as his trousers. Cool lips working their way down his chest and abdomen brought him back to the present - if there ever was such a thing.
The Doctor pushed his fingers through the silver hair of his previous incarnation, and for a moment he stopped and marvelled at it. He’d forgotten just how soft it really was. The Doctor’s cold ring on his hip forced his attention onto other matters, and he pulled that hand up to his chest and held it against him, his fingers tracing around the ring he used to wear, a smile on his face.
“You didn’t need it after I regenerated, did you?”
He shook his head. “No.” The Doctor paused. “I still have it, though, and I know exactly where it is.”
“Oh, that you managed not to lose, hmm?” he chided.
“Some things are more important,” he said gently.
“Mmm,” he said, disbelieving. The doubtful moan became a groan of pleasure as his older self slid his hands down his body, touching him, exciting him.
Skin touched skin and sighs matched to moans. Limbs were entwined and bodies came together with gratitude and sorrow. Four hearts began to beat as two, and he didn’t feel his loss as deeply. Either of him.
The Doctor fell back against the pillows, panting but satisfied. He stared into his own eyes, not sure what to say. It was just a temporary solution to a permanent problem. After a moment he said, “Dodo will be returning soon, I think.”
“Oh, dear,” said the older Doctor. “Oh crumbs.” He couldn’t tell himself that Dodo wasn’t coming back. She was just one more person that left him. Alone.
The younger Doctor smiled a patient smile. “Just go. I’m sure your … friends are waiting for you.”
The Doctor nodded. “Perhaps I should.” He gathered his clothes and dressed, finding it somewhat odd that his younger self watched. But then, he remembered doing that. He stepped up to the bed and kissed himself one last time. “Thank you,” he said softly.
The younger man smiled back, silently.
Stepping away from the bed, the Doctor crossed to the door before turning back to face him. “I get the feeling that we’ll be seeing each other again, and probably soon.”
“Perhaps,” was his reply. He watched his older self leave the room, pulling on his shoes as he did so.
Reluctantly, he pulled himself from his bed and dressed. The Doctor went to the desk that his other self had half-heartedly searched. Pulling open the second drawer, he lifted out the plastic key that Ian had given him. He held it for a long moment between his fingers before placing it back in the drawer, next to an Aztec brooch.
Snatching his cape and hat from the chaise longue he cursed his sentimentality and left his room. Making one last check of the console, the Doctor stepped outside the TARDIS to await the return of Dodo.