Your description tells me so much about who you are. When people leave it as "I'm a mom" or "I'm a wife" I don't learn about who they really are as individuals.
Yeah I totally agree, just like saying "i'm an electrician' doesn't say much. lol. Here is my point... the other day i had a new patient: me: what do you do? him: I'm a waiter at blah blah blah me: do you like it? him: no, blah blah blah, i am really a musician. me: well then, next time someone asks you what you do, maybe you should say that.
Cause what you do day to day doesn't necessarily define exactly who you are... but at least mom does say a lot more than waiter. lol
as someone who is neither a mom nor a wife, i wonder why adult women are the only ones expected to characterize who they are by primarily announcing who they take care of/are attached to by marriage as their primary identity? this question is NOT intended to undermine the value of being a spouse/wife or having children. i just wonder why it is that so many women are expected to say that their primary purpose in life is to identify themselves first by those to whom they are married and those they raise?
children aren't expected to say, "i am being raised by..." husbands aren't expected to say, "i am husband to..." btw, are LGBT folks supposed to say, "i am life-partner to...", or "i am currently having sex with..."as their primary identity? i just think it's less about what a woman's life is really like. it feels to me like it belies the expectation that women are supposed to derive their worth from supporting/serving others.
Other than the foolish wishes of Cary Tennis from Salon, I don't think that women are expected to identify themselves in terms of their relationships (mother/wife). I think many choose to identify themselves this way. At least that is how they explain it to me.
It is hard for me to think of defining myself in that manner because I'd like to think that I had a lot of interesting facets to who I was/am even before marriage and motherhood. So I describe myself less in term of roles and more in terms of qualities, interests and facets of my psyche that make me unique.
I feel so bad for that poor woman who married that idiot. Although I guess she did it to herself.
I don't like labels. I've never defined myself by what I did as so many people do. I don't think saying "I'm a mom" is that different from "I'm a lawyer" or some other profession.
In fact, I'm not likely to be very interested in talking to or getting to know someone who chooses to define themselves so narrowly. Whether it's by their relationships or by their jobs. Life is so much more than either of those things.
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Mother
wife
chiropractor
business woman
knitter
creative
spiritual seeker.
which comes first? Lately, Mother. but when someone asks me what I do? I say I'm a chiropractor. :)
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Here is my point... the other day i had a new patient:
me: what do you do?
him: I'm a waiter at blah blah blah
me: do you like it?
him: no, blah blah blah, i am really a musician.
me: well then, next time someone asks you what you do, maybe you should say that.
Cause what you do day to day doesn't necessarily define exactly who you are... but at least mom does say a lot more than waiter. lol
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children aren't expected to say, "i am being raised by..."
husbands aren't expected to say, "i am husband to..."
btw, are LGBT folks supposed to say, "i am life-partner to...", or "i am currently having sex with..."as their primary identity?
i just think it's less about what a woman's life is really like. it feels to me like it belies the expectation that women are supposed to derive their worth from supporting/serving others.
(sorry about my grammar)
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It is hard for me to think of defining myself in that manner because I'd like to think that I had a lot of interesting facets to who I was/am even before marriage and motherhood. So I describe myself less in term of roles and more in terms of qualities, interests and facets of my psyche that make me unique.
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I don't like labels. I've never defined myself by what I did as so many people do. I don't think saying "I'm a mom" is that different from "I'm a lawyer" or some other profession.
In fact, I'm not likely to be very interested in talking to or getting to know someone who chooses to define themselves so narrowly. Whether it's by their relationships or by their jobs. Life is so much more than either of those things.
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