I had the baby.
I didn't want to.
I think I did it to punish him,
Because he reacted so badly.
And he hurt me SO bad.

She is Alayna Estella Pratt.
She was 21 inches long.
Weighed 8lbs. 5 oz.
She's gorgeous.
Now that she is here, I love her.
She is perfect, strong, and smart.

Andy was there EVERYDAY.
He was amazingHolding her and talking to her ( Read more... )

I'm still pregnant. I don't even remember what I wrote about in here last. It's a girl now... If you didn't already know that. Alayna Estella Pratt. Yeah, whatever. It's close. She is due in less than three months. Nine weeks to be exact. Which is basically pretty scary. I'm really nervous about her coming... What if she doesn't like me? Plus I ( Read more... )

This has to be quick, which is fairly hard ( Read more... )

Everything is getting to me lately ( Read more... )

Let's see where to start ( Read more... )

"I love you baby. I swear I do."
Pffft. Those words lies.
Always in the back of my mind.
Make me sick.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
If only I could make myself believe it.
If only...All I do anymore is worry ( Read more... )

I wrote Andrew a lengthy letter today ( Read more... )

Maybe it was just a scared cry.
But when he told me he didn't hate me...
And that he still loved me,
Especially after yesterdays entry...
I just cried a lot.
And went to sleep.

But something in me still doesn't feel right.
I think it's the not knowing.
Or the wondering...
And missing...
Hurting.

It's here to stay.

I feel like a fool ( Read more... )

You are a stupid stupid bitch ( Read more... )