You've Got A Friend... for WaneMoose
Title: You’ve Got A Friend…
Recipient: WaneMoose
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 1947
Warnings: Spoilers for Season 11
Summary: As per the prompt which was Sully visits Sam Winchester after he gets back from Hell (that is Lucifer’s Cage in ‘Oh Brother Where Art Thou?’
When Sully had seen Sam Winchester again he’d been amazed at just how BIG Sam had gotten. Sam had been a small child, fragile almost, despite the life he led. Adult Sam was all muscle, wide shoulders and chest. Now, as he stood at the foot of Sam’s bed, Sully had to gulp down the lump in his throat because Sam…well Sam was different now, he looked almost tiny curled up on the bed in a foetal position, arms wrapped tight around his legs, head tucked low, eyes hidden by a mass of long hair.
Sully crept slowly, quietly so as not to disturb. He hadn’t thought he’d see Sam again after what happened with Reese. Sam had helped him sort things out and he was so grateful. He’d managed to save Reese and she was his friend again. He’d do anything for his friends, he was Zanna and that was the way he was made. He wanted nothing more than to help and that’s why he was here now, here to help Sam.
He didn’t know where Sam’s germ of a brother was and he didn’t particularly care. Despite the fact he could see Sully, knew Sully was real, knew what Sully was, Dean Winchester still doubted. Dean Winchester thought he was the only person in the entire universe who could protect Sam but he was wrong, wrong, wrong. He hadn’t managed to protect Sam from this had he? He might have come rushing to the rescue eventually but he hadn’t stopped Sam from being hurt, hadn’t stopped Sam from being terrified. Sully knew that Sam was still frightened, that his dreams had turned to nightmares and that Lucifer stalked through them like the monster he was.
Sully checked through his tightly wrapped bundle; nachos and marshmallows - check, Lucky Charms - check, bottle rocket - check. He smiled to himself and shuffled closer. He’d bought all of Sam’s most favourite things and he thought, despite the fact Sam was older, he would still enjoy them. They’d never had the chance to share treats last time what with the murders and everything. This time, this time it would be different.
Sam hadn’t been what you might call a playful child. He’d been forced to grow up too fast, to face adulthood before he was ready. He had no mom and his dad was - what the Zanna kindly called - absent. Sully knew human beings had another name for it but he didn’t like to say it out loud because neglect was an ugly word, a word that stuck to the tongue and made the heart sink low. Sam liked to talk; he had an active, butterfly mind. He wasn’t born to hunting the way the germ was and he needed constant stimulation. The little kid was lonely too, never around long enough to make kid friends, his desperate longing the thing that had bought Sully to him.
Sam’s little night moan bought Sully back to the present; the man on the bed scrunched his body impossibly smaller and his mouth turned down. A thin trickle of water seeped down his cheek and Sully knew exactly what that meant. He hated, HATED, to see anyone crying but to see Sam cry - well - that was too much.
“Sam…” he put his hand gently on that broad shoulder, fingers squeezing just a little too tight, “Sam wake up now.”
Confused hazel eyes flickered open and a big hand reached up disbelievingly to touch his cheek.
“Sully?”
“Surprise,” he said it softer this time not really wanting to get punched again and Sam pushed himself up on his elbows, his hair falling into his face making him look like a vulnerable child again. “Can I sit here awhile?”
“Yeah,” puzzlement and confusion gave way to wonder and Sam smiled hesitant and unsure, “yeah Sully - please…”
****
Sully was more than familiar with fear; Zanna’s were trained to sense it, to smell it even and little kids, well little kids were scared of just about everything. Sully had been in charge of training and he’d taken his role very seriously. He had lost count of just how many closets he’d been in and how many beds he’d looked under searching for an unknown monster. Now, sitting on Sam’s hard and very uncomfortable looking bed Sam’s fear washed over him thick like molasses. The odd thing about Sam’s fear was that it was mixed with loathing. A deep seated thing that Sam obviously tried to keep buried. Sam was ashamed of his fear, ashamed that he hadn’t been able to face up to it. Sure Sully knew how much ‘little’ Sam had hated clowns, how he had closed his eyes whenever they came on TV, how he avoided posters of them and even kept away from McDonalds so that he wouldn’t come face to face with Ronald. Sully had been able to handle that one without too many problems. Sam didn’t need clowns to make him laugh anyway - not now he had Sully.
This fear though, this was huge, massive and it was obvious not just by feeling but by seeing. Sam was pale, his eyes shadowed through lack of real healing sleep. He looked thinner than Sully remembered and it was clear he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He smelt funny, not like Weem’s kid, but something stronger. Sully felt a moment of self-doubt. He wasn’t sure that nachos would cut it this time but he had to try.
Casually he put his bundle on the bed and started to carefully unwrap it. Sam watched him, eyes going from fuzzy to curious, the slight hint of a dimple showing in his thin cheek.
“You bought me nachos,” Sam’s voice was a mere whisper and Sully leaned in closer so he could hear, “thanks.”
Sam reached over and plucked one of the nachos from his bundle. He bit into it slowly and carefully in the manner of someone who hadn’t eaten in quite a while. Sully watched him chew it, savouring the taste.
“It’s good,” long fingers reached out and picked another one, “wow,” his tone was wondering, “I didn’t realise how hungry I was.”
“I’ve got Lucky Charms,” Sully thrust the bowl, already filled with milk, at Sam. “There’s the prize too.”
“Thanks Sully,” Sam choked out a reluctant laugh, “not that I’m not pleased to see you again but…” he stirred the spoon around the bowl for a long moment, “why are you here?”
“I guessed you might need me,” he felt proud that he hadn’t mentioned Satan or hell. “So here I am.”
“I didn’t think you got out into the field these days,” Sam was eating the Lucky Charms with considerably more gusto than the nachos and Sully saw that his cheeks were beginning to flush pink now, the scent of fear abating a little, a real smile on his face.
“I’m still here for my kids,” Sully gestured to the bottle rocket, “maybe when you’ve eaten we can…y’know.”
Sam actually laughed then, pure delight settling on his features.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, finally, drinking down the rest of the milk and settling with his back against the wall, arms folded over his stomach, “I’ve…it’s been a while since I went out y’know.”
Sully did know; he made it his business to know. Sam was both his biggest success and his biggest failure and he didn’t know what to do with that. Not many Zanna had children who had saved the world and it made Sully proud. He wasn’t boastful enough to tell the others it was partly his doing but, deep down, he hoped he had contributed something. He’d wanted Sam to be more than a hunter, to achieve all the things he knew Sam was capable of. Now Sam WAS more than a hunter but the things he had done, the things he had had done to him were more than Sully could comprehend. He was a simple soul and he needed nothing more than to see his kids happy, settled. Then and only then would he leave them, confident in the knowledge they would blossom without him.
****
When he’d left Sam as a child Sully hadn’t been sure he WAS doing the right thing but Sam was so desperate, so determined to join his dad and that germ of a brother that Sully knew deep down he had to step aside. When he’d left Sam after the Reese incident he was certain Sam would be ok. He’d seen, grudgingly, that Sam’s brother was more than capable of looking after Sam. Now he felt guilty again because Sam hadn’t been safe at all and Sully shouldn’t have left him, should have stayed with him to make sure nothing bad happened.
They spent the afternoon on a scrubby bit of land in front of the bunker; it was a warm day and the sky was pleasantly blue and Sam had found a soccer ball which they kicked about until they were both sweating and tired. They let the bottle rocket off last and Sully watched Sam’s face as he followed its trajectory into the clouds. Sam looked a hundred percent better, cheeks flushed, mouth wide and smiling. His expression as he saw the battered plastic soaring upwards was one of wonder and it was almost as if he were a little child again.
****
“I was in the cage again,” Sam lay on his bed, his long legs propped up against the wall, his head lying down against the edge of the mattress staring at Sully upside down, “I was so scared Sully,” he swallowed, “it was like I’d never left…what he did to me,” he closed his eyes for the longest of times, “I got out,” he said finally, “I’m never going back again.”
“It’s not bad to be scared,” Sully whispered, “everyone gets scared Sam…doesn’t matter if the monster is real or in your head…everyone gets scared.”
Sam was silent but Sully knew his words had had an impact; he couldn’t smell the fear on Sam anymore, couldn’t sense any unease or sorrow. He’d been right to come back here and now it seemed his job was done but…but he had to be sure this time, he had to be certain.
“Ever think about running away again?” It was a question he’d asked Sam as a boy and again as a man but he needed to hear the answer this time and he could only hope it was the right one.
“No,” Sam’s voice was soft, “not anymore. This is my life Sully for better or worse. I’m not running again, I’m staying here to fight, I’m staying here right next to Dean and we are gonna fight together.”
“He’s still a germ,” Sully couldn’t keep the laughter from his voice; something warm was blossoming in his chest and he felt so light he thought he might float away.
“Yeah I know…” Sam smiled, “but he’s my germ…” he looked across at Sully then and his eyes burned into Sully’s very being, “Ever think about going back into the field again? You’re wasted as a - what do Zanna call it - a pen pusher. You should be out and about helping people, helping kids. What you did for me, what you’ve done for me…that’s too good to let go.”
Sully considered; he thought about little Sam, about Reece, about Weems and the kid he had to care for, about poor Sparkle and the little girl who would be forever damaged because of what happened. He’d come here to help Sam but, in the end, Sam had helped him.
“You’re right Sam”, Sully grinned, his mind already working, mentally packing his bundle even as he looked over at Sam, smiling, happy, healthy. There were a lot of lonely kids out there and maybe, maybe with Sully’s help they could all be saviours in their own way…
End
Recipient: WaneMoose
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 1947
Warnings: Spoilers for Season 11
Summary: As per the prompt which was Sully visits Sam Winchester after he gets back from Hell (that is Lucifer’s Cage in ‘Oh Brother Where Art Thou?’
When Sully had seen Sam Winchester again he’d been amazed at just how BIG Sam had gotten. Sam had been a small child, fragile almost, despite the life he led. Adult Sam was all muscle, wide shoulders and chest. Now, as he stood at the foot of Sam’s bed, Sully had to gulp down the lump in his throat because Sam…well Sam was different now, he looked almost tiny curled up on the bed in a foetal position, arms wrapped tight around his legs, head tucked low, eyes hidden by a mass of long hair.
Sully crept slowly, quietly so as not to disturb. He hadn’t thought he’d see Sam again after what happened with Reese. Sam had helped him sort things out and he was so grateful. He’d managed to save Reese and she was his friend again. He’d do anything for his friends, he was Zanna and that was the way he was made. He wanted nothing more than to help and that’s why he was here now, here to help Sam.
He didn’t know where Sam’s germ of a brother was and he didn’t particularly care. Despite the fact he could see Sully, knew Sully was real, knew what Sully was, Dean Winchester still doubted. Dean Winchester thought he was the only person in the entire universe who could protect Sam but he was wrong, wrong, wrong. He hadn’t managed to protect Sam from this had he? He might have come rushing to the rescue eventually but he hadn’t stopped Sam from being hurt, hadn’t stopped Sam from being terrified. Sully knew that Sam was still frightened, that his dreams had turned to nightmares and that Lucifer stalked through them like the monster he was.
Sully checked through his tightly wrapped bundle; nachos and marshmallows - check, Lucky Charms - check, bottle rocket - check. He smiled to himself and shuffled closer. He’d bought all of Sam’s most favourite things and he thought, despite the fact Sam was older, he would still enjoy them. They’d never had the chance to share treats last time what with the murders and everything. This time, this time it would be different.
Sam hadn’t been what you might call a playful child. He’d been forced to grow up too fast, to face adulthood before he was ready. He had no mom and his dad was - what the Zanna kindly called - absent. Sully knew human beings had another name for it but he didn’t like to say it out loud because neglect was an ugly word, a word that stuck to the tongue and made the heart sink low. Sam liked to talk; he had an active, butterfly mind. He wasn’t born to hunting the way the germ was and he needed constant stimulation. The little kid was lonely too, never around long enough to make kid friends, his desperate longing the thing that had bought Sully to him.
Sam’s little night moan bought Sully back to the present; the man on the bed scrunched his body impossibly smaller and his mouth turned down. A thin trickle of water seeped down his cheek and Sully knew exactly what that meant. He hated, HATED, to see anyone crying but to see Sam cry - well - that was too much.
“Sam…” he put his hand gently on that broad shoulder, fingers squeezing just a little too tight, “Sam wake up now.”
Confused hazel eyes flickered open and a big hand reached up disbelievingly to touch his cheek.
“Sully?”
“Surprise,” he said it softer this time not really wanting to get punched again and Sam pushed himself up on his elbows, his hair falling into his face making him look like a vulnerable child again. “Can I sit here awhile?”
“Yeah,” puzzlement and confusion gave way to wonder and Sam smiled hesitant and unsure, “yeah Sully - please…”
****
Sully was more than familiar with fear; Zanna’s were trained to sense it, to smell it even and little kids, well little kids were scared of just about everything. Sully had been in charge of training and he’d taken his role very seriously. He had lost count of just how many closets he’d been in and how many beds he’d looked under searching for an unknown monster. Now, sitting on Sam’s hard and very uncomfortable looking bed Sam’s fear washed over him thick like molasses. The odd thing about Sam’s fear was that it was mixed with loathing. A deep seated thing that Sam obviously tried to keep buried. Sam was ashamed of his fear, ashamed that he hadn’t been able to face up to it. Sure Sully knew how much ‘little’ Sam had hated clowns, how he had closed his eyes whenever they came on TV, how he avoided posters of them and even kept away from McDonalds so that he wouldn’t come face to face with Ronald. Sully had been able to handle that one without too many problems. Sam didn’t need clowns to make him laugh anyway - not now he had Sully.
This fear though, this was huge, massive and it was obvious not just by feeling but by seeing. Sam was pale, his eyes shadowed through lack of real healing sleep. He looked thinner than Sully remembered and it was clear he hadn’t been taking care of himself. He smelt funny, not like Weem’s kid, but something stronger. Sully felt a moment of self-doubt. He wasn’t sure that nachos would cut it this time but he had to try.
Casually he put his bundle on the bed and started to carefully unwrap it. Sam watched him, eyes going from fuzzy to curious, the slight hint of a dimple showing in his thin cheek.
“You bought me nachos,” Sam’s voice was a mere whisper and Sully leaned in closer so he could hear, “thanks.”
Sam reached over and plucked one of the nachos from his bundle. He bit into it slowly and carefully in the manner of someone who hadn’t eaten in quite a while. Sully watched him chew it, savouring the taste.
“It’s good,” long fingers reached out and picked another one, “wow,” his tone was wondering, “I didn’t realise how hungry I was.”
“I’ve got Lucky Charms,” Sully thrust the bowl, already filled with milk, at Sam. “There’s the prize too.”
“Thanks Sully,” Sam choked out a reluctant laugh, “not that I’m not pleased to see you again but…” he stirred the spoon around the bowl for a long moment, “why are you here?”
“I guessed you might need me,” he felt proud that he hadn’t mentioned Satan or hell. “So here I am.”
“I didn’t think you got out into the field these days,” Sam was eating the Lucky Charms with considerably more gusto than the nachos and Sully saw that his cheeks were beginning to flush pink now, the scent of fear abating a little, a real smile on his face.
“I’m still here for my kids,” Sully gestured to the bottle rocket, “maybe when you’ve eaten we can…y’know.”
Sam actually laughed then, pure delight settling on his features.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, finally, drinking down the rest of the milk and settling with his back against the wall, arms folded over his stomach, “I’ve…it’s been a while since I went out y’know.”
Sully did know; he made it his business to know. Sam was both his biggest success and his biggest failure and he didn’t know what to do with that. Not many Zanna had children who had saved the world and it made Sully proud. He wasn’t boastful enough to tell the others it was partly his doing but, deep down, he hoped he had contributed something. He’d wanted Sam to be more than a hunter, to achieve all the things he knew Sam was capable of. Now Sam WAS more than a hunter but the things he had done, the things he had had done to him were more than Sully could comprehend. He was a simple soul and he needed nothing more than to see his kids happy, settled. Then and only then would he leave them, confident in the knowledge they would blossom without him.
****
When he’d left Sam as a child Sully hadn’t been sure he WAS doing the right thing but Sam was so desperate, so determined to join his dad and that germ of a brother that Sully knew deep down he had to step aside. When he’d left Sam after the Reese incident he was certain Sam would be ok. He’d seen, grudgingly, that Sam’s brother was more than capable of looking after Sam. Now he felt guilty again because Sam hadn’t been safe at all and Sully shouldn’t have left him, should have stayed with him to make sure nothing bad happened.
They spent the afternoon on a scrubby bit of land in front of the bunker; it was a warm day and the sky was pleasantly blue and Sam had found a soccer ball which they kicked about until they were both sweating and tired. They let the bottle rocket off last and Sully watched Sam’s face as he followed its trajectory into the clouds. Sam looked a hundred percent better, cheeks flushed, mouth wide and smiling. His expression as he saw the battered plastic soaring upwards was one of wonder and it was almost as if he were a little child again.
****
“I was in the cage again,” Sam lay on his bed, his long legs propped up against the wall, his head lying down against the edge of the mattress staring at Sully upside down, “I was so scared Sully,” he swallowed, “it was like I’d never left…what he did to me,” he closed his eyes for the longest of times, “I got out,” he said finally, “I’m never going back again.”
“It’s not bad to be scared,” Sully whispered, “everyone gets scared Sam…doesn’t matter if the monster is real or in your head…everyone gets scared.”
Sam was silent but Sully knew his words had had an impact; he couldn’t smell the fear on Sam anymore, couldn’t sense any unease or sorrow. He’d been right to come back here and now it seemed his job was done but…but he had to be sure this time, he had to be certain.
“Ever think about running away again?” It was a question he’d asked Sam as a boy and again as a man but he needed to hear the answer this time and he could only hope it was the right one.
“No,” Sam’s voice was soft, “not anymore. This is my life Sully for better or worse. I’m not running again, I’m staying here to fight, I’m staying here right next to Dean and we are gonna fight together.”
“He’s still a germ,” Sully couldn’t keep the laughter from his voice; something warm was blossoming in his chest and he felt so light he thought he might float away.
“Yeah I know…” Sam smiled, “but he’s my germ…” he looked across at Sully then and his eyes burned into Sully’s very being, “Ever think about going back into the field again? You’re wasted as a - what do Zanna call it - a pen pusher. You should be out and about helping people, helping kids. What you did for me, what you’ve done for me…that’s too good to let go.”
Sully considered; he thought about little Sam, about Reece, about Weems and the kid he had to care for, about poor Sparkle and the little girl who would be forever damaged because of what happened. He’d come here to help Sam but, in the end, Sam had helped him.
“You’re right Sam”, Sully grinned, his mind already working, mentally packing his bundle even as he looked over at Sam, smiling, happy, healthy. There were a lot of lonely kids out there and maybe, maybe with Sully’s help they could all be saviours in their own way…
End