(Untitled)

[spastic_rhythm]

First cross-country meet is this weekend. I'm only in the 5k this time around, because the coach and I both want to see how I can handle it. He's gotten so used to me being a sprinter...hell, I have too. But I enjoy the challenge of distance more, so we'll see what happens. I have high hopes of kicking ass! On the track anyway

Comments

Screened to Kamio

[iron_strength]

...

...You really are that seriously pissed over me doing that, aren't you?

...Look. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I upset you and Shinji with me behaving that way, but...I felt I was doing the best thing for me at the time. I don't like to talk about personal shit normally and you know that, Kamio. Seriously, how many deep heart to hearts can you count that we've had? Not many? That's because I don't like them since they make me uncomfortable. And feel like a damn girl. Something I don't need when I've been in the fucking role of man of the house since I was 11. ...But for once I got worked up enough about something and couldn't keep it bottled up without risking punching the fucking team captain. I can't do shit like that here like I could at Fudoumine, though, so I went to Shinji to talk. ...And suddenly after that when I decide to go back to normal and back to old habits, everybody starts fucking worrying about me because I'm not talking again. Well that worrying shit just makes me wanna keep to myself even more

Screened to Tetsu

[spastic_rhythm]

Yes, I was seriously that fucking pissed!! Dude, seriously. Despite what you may think, my pissiness has VERY little to do with you thinking you'd be a fucking girl for talking about your problems! Though that way pretty shitty, how you treated Shin...wanting to talk to him, getting him worried, then saying everything's fucking fine. Thought you knew HIM a bit better than that anyway. It has to with just fucking ignoring us outright, and making me, at least, feel like our friendship didn't fucking MATTER to you anymore! With ignoring ALL comments and attempts just...fucking hang out! If you don't fucking want me in your life anymore, than just fucking SAY it already

Re: Screened to Kamio

[iron_strength]

...Dude, no offense, but even though what you say is often valid, sometimes I swear an actual chill pill would do you a lot of fucking good....I wanted him to drop it. I'd calmed down enough to where I wasn't violently frustrated anymore after talking to him, and that was good enough for me to work with things on my own. But he seemed to not get that. So I guess we both didn't quite know each other on that front. ...And your friendships mean more to me more than anything. But...these days, and being apart from all of you for all this time, it does feel like I don't know what to say to you anymore at times. We don't see each other everyday like we used to. ...And...I'm not smart like the both of you. I can't talk to you about school-related stuff, and I feel stupid just listening to you both talk about your classes at Hyoutei. ...So it feels like all we've got left to talk about *is* those issues that make me uncomfortable, when then leaves us with nothing, since I don't like to talk about them

Re: Screened to Tetsu

[spastic_rhythm]

Don't I fucking know it. But that's not happening any time soon.

...you mean you haven't noticed the way I'm seriously too dumb for this place? you HAVEN'T noticed the other shit I'm doing, and the other shit I've been mentioning in my fucking entries that you can't think of a SINGLE thing else to talk about then your fucking feeling inferior?? You can't think of a SINGLE FUCKING THING that we could talk about outside of classes? For EITHER of us? Seriously??

Then you've fucking lost me already, Tetsu. Because that's how you treat a fucking acquaintance that you've been hoping to lose track of. "Oh, well, we don't go to the same school anymore. Guess there's nothing to talk about that." FUCK THAT!! I can think of TWENTY fucking things we could talk about that have NOTHING to do with school, and you...you...can't....

Fuck. Maybe I'm the one that fucked up. I failed, didn't I? Failed you as a friend, failed you as a captain. I get the hint now.

[bujutsu_goth]

...I thought you were taking Greek...? ...Or were you just mocking those who took it~~?
...Though if you seriously need help with your Latin, I might be able to help...Since I'm mostly taking it for scientific purposes, those of us on the science career path have learned a few extra tricks on how to memorize things...

[spastic_rhythm]

I was taking Greek until they decided I was so hopeless at it that Latin HAD to be better for me. They were very wrong. Still a language for dead guys in bedsheets.

If Shin can't get it through my head, I think no one can, really.

[bujutsu_goth]

Both can be difficult, though Latin's more advantageous and more likely to be of use than Greek unless you happen to be interested in visiting Greece for whatever reason anytime soon, personal or job-wise~~

You might be surprised~~ So don't give up quite so quickly, because you might learn a thing or two still~~

[spastic_rhythm]

What use is Latin to me, unless I time-travel? I'm not a science person at all.

A thing or two won't let me pass the class.

[scholarshinji]

Akira, you're not that dumb. We just haven't figured out how to make it stick so we'll just have to keep trying and eventually we'll figure out how to get you to retain it long enough to graduate and then you can forget it all again.

... As for your father, I guess you can just spend more nights at my house since mom's okay with that and would take you in permenently if we could afford it so maybe you should talk to your dad about giving us money so that he doesn't have to deal with you or something since he seems more interested in other things.

[spastic_rhythm]

I'm not holding out tons of hope. Maybe this just...isn't my thing. Latin I mean. I can handle English, but Latin, Greek...forget it.

Anything's better than walking into the kitchen for milk and realizing that I can never use the counters again...but you guys don't have to take me in. This is workable, sure.

[scholarshinji]

We'll figure it out, Akira, if it's the last thing we do at Hyotei, we'll figure it out because we have to for you to stay.

That doesn't sound very workable, Akira, and actually that sounds really disgusting and I don't know how you can deal with that.

[spastic_rhythm]

Might be the last thing I do there, anyway.

Lots and lots of brain bleach, Shin. And some denial, too.