She Can't Sleep
Brittany can’t sleep.
She turns onto her side and lifts herself onto her elbow. She watches as Santana’s chest rises and falls slightly.
The Latina is fast asleep on her stomach, one arm dangling off the bed and the other sitting above her head at a weird angle. She’s facing away from Brittany and the white sheet is only covering what’s below her lower back.
Her thick wavy hair is still in its Cheerios ponytail which Brittany finds amusing. The blonde always takes her hair down after practice because if she doesn’t she’ll get a headache. Santana rarely takes hers down so Brittany feels extra lucky and special when she does.
Tonight was the first time they had sex at Santana’s house, and because of that she didn’t know what to do with herself. Normally, at Brittany’s house, Santana would get out of bed, get dressed, and kiss Brittany goodbye. Tonight, Santana had just rolled off and fallen asleep.
Did this mean Brittany should leave? Should she stay? Was she allowed to touch Santana while she slept? She didn’t know and at the moment she was too afraid to ask.
Brittany couldn’t help but wonder if it meant something, anything, that Santana had let them have sex here. Or maybe Santana had just let being horny get the best of her.
The blonde tries to fight the impulse to touch Santana but she can't help herself. She’s seen Santana naked countless times but she’s never actually gotten to study her. Brittany doesn't know whether to feel like a creep or to just enjoy the moment. She chooses the latter, as her fingertips ghost their way over Santana’s back. She outlines her spine until her fingers reach her best friend’s lower back. She lets her fingers push at the sheet covering Santana’s lower half but she doesn’t pass the barrier.
Santana lets out a shaky breath and Brittany instantly pulls away.
Brittany wants more than anything for sex to mean dating. She just doesn’t know how to tell Santana what she wants. So she decides to leave. Santana always does.
When she gets up to leave, she throws on one of Santana’s t-shirts, but before she can find sweatpants Santana calls out to her.
“Where are you going, B?” Santana’s voice has the tiniest rasp to it.
Brittany’s caught off guard. “I don’t know.”
Santana smiles, her features still sleepy. “You got out of bed to go somewhere but you don’t know where?” Brittany nods and Santana lies back down. “Come back to bed, B.”
Brittany does, and she smiles like a crazy person when Santana wraps her arms around her waist and settles her head just above the blonde’s chest.
Santana whispers and it tickles her friend’s neck. “We should go to breakfast tomorrow. If you want, I mean.”
Brittany doesn’t understand why Santana’s breaking her habit tonight. She wants to ask but doesn’t want to push her luck either. So for right now, she’ll just enjoy the moment. And that’s okay, because Santana’s just given her hope.
She replies with a soft and sincere, “Yeah. That’d be nice.”