Exposure 4: Mikey/various
Title: Exposure part 4
Author: Casey Ben Sullivan
Pairing: Mikey, Mikey/Ray, thoughts of Mikey/Bob, Ray/Mikey/Bob, Frank/Mikey, and Gerard/Frank/Mikey
Rating: older teen (viewer discretion is advised)
POV: third person, Mikey's POV
Summary: Mikey's the odd man out. Only not.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not true.
Author's Note: AU. Beginning of the band's fame, but Bob is the drummer and has been since the beginning. I just like it better that way.
Series: Part 1: Gerard/Frank, Part 2: Bob/Ray, Part 3: Bob/Ray
Mikey remembers, way back in fifth grade, when he heard strange sounds coming from his brother's bed, fast breathing and shaking and sheets rustling. Concerned, Mikey had gotten up and gone to Gerard's bed - Gerard was in eigth grade then - and asked his brother what was wrong.
"Are you okay?" he asked, peering at Gerard in the darkness. "Are you having a bad dream?"
Gerard went completely still, and the panting stopped. Mikey touched his face, and he wasn't sweating. He took that as a good sign.
"I'm okay, Mikes," Gerard said, but his voice sounded strained. Mikey didn't believe him. "Go back to bed."
Still concerned, but wanting to trust Gerard, Mikey nodded and went back to bed. He kept his ears open, though, just in case something happened again. Nothing did. It was quiet for the rest of the night, and the next few nights after that.
It happened a few more times; waking up to hear Gerard panting and shifting, getting up to check on him, but Gerard always said he was okay. Finally, Mikey stopped asking what was wrong, and stayed in bed when it happened. He still didn't know what was going on, but it didn't seem to be something bad. Not if Gerard was okay.
By the time Mikey was in seventh grade, he'd figured out what Gerard was doing. Mainly because he was doing it himself. He always waited until Gerard was asleep, or he thought Gerard was asleep, anyway; it was hard to tell for sure. But Mikey never jerked off when he could hear Gerard jerking off, and Gerard never did it when Mikey did it first. It was an unspoken agreement that okay, this was something they had to do, but it wasn't something they did together. Because that would be weird, and wrong.
Touring on a tour bus is a lot like that. Five guys, all of whom are horny sometimes, and sometimes just need to rub out some morning wood. After being on the road for several months, Mikey knows what each of them sounds like; Gerard still pants quietly, while Frank kind of grunts and curses, Ray moans and curses under his breath, and Bob tries to be quiet but doesn't always succeed. Mikey doesn't know what he sounds like, but he hopes it's nothing embarrassing.
Because there are five of them, it just happens that sometimes they jerk off at the same time. At first, Mikey just stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about it; over time, it just turned into background noise. No one bothers anyone else when they're doing it, because that's just common courtesy. It's something to do alone.
Things are different now. Gerard is sleeping with Frank, and neither of them tries to be quiet about it. Half the time, Mikey leaves the bus. The other half, he just ignores them, because he's kind of gotten used to it by now. Bob and Ray are another story; it took Mikey awhile to figure it out, because it's so rare that they do anything on the bus. Usually, they just disappear somewhere, and come back in the morning looking satisfied. But it's hard to ignore when Mikey catches them doing it. It was just an accident, but now he can't get the image out of his brain.
He can't believe Bob sucks cock. He'd always pictured Bob as a top, if anything. And maybe that's a stereotype because of the way Bob looks, and he knows now that he was wrong. He just wishes he'd known about that before, so he could have done something about it before Bob got with Ray. Because now Mikey is the odd man out, while everyone else is paired off. Kind of like Noah's ark, except that everyone is gay.
Mikey doesn't expect to be dragged into the soap opera that is Gerard and Frank's relationship, but he's learned by now to expect the unexpected. That's why he doesn't do the smart thing and ignore it when he sees Frankie watching porn in the bus; laptop on his thighs while his legs are propped up on the seat in front of him. Mikey looks over the back of Frankie's seat when he hears the dramatic moaning, and sees two dark-haired girls and a blond guy. Mikey watches, because hey, it's porn. And Frank's not jerking off, so it's not weird.
"Hey," Frank says when he notices him, looking over his shoulder at Mikey. Mikey smiles down at him, because he's having a good day. Frank grins. "They're sisters," he says, pointing at the screen. "Hot, right?"
"Uh huh," Mikey agrees, not really thinking. Sisters - especially twins - are a staple of porn. It's hot, because two hot girls are hotter than one. That's the whole point.
They watch the video for a few more minutes, and Frank says, "It would be hotter if they were brothers."
Mikey shrugs, because the thought doesn't really do anything for him. Even though he's into guys, he just doesn't see the appeal of two brothers. Then he notices Frankie looking at him, really staring, and his cheeks get hot. Oh. Oh.
"No," he says abruptly, backpedaling, because the look on Frankie's face can only mean one thing. No. No no no no no. "I am not having sex with you and Gerard."
"Pfft." Frank looks away, but Mikey doesn't miss the look of disappointment on his face. Shit, does Frank really want that? Mikey doesn't get to find out, because Frank's slamming shut the laptop and getting up. Mikey stands up straighter. "Excuse me."
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what Frank is doing after he carries the laptop with him up to his bunk. Mikey's cheeks burn, because he doesn't know if Frank is thinking about the girls in the video, or him and Gerard. Him and Gerard. Gah.
Frank doesn't let it go at that. Sure, he avoids Mikey for a few days, and things eventually go back to normal, but then there's the concert. Mikey's minding his own business, strumming out the bassline, when Frank slides to his knees in front of him. Mikey does his best to ignore, but Frank's rubbing up against him, his face all over Mikey's thigh. And Mikey can't deny that he's turned on, not between the pulsing beat of the music and the attention from Frankie. He's just glad he's got his guitar in a strategic location, where Frankie won't know that he's actually getting to him.
It gets even weirder later, because Gerard sidles up to his side instead of Frank's or Ray's. Gerard leans in and Mikey shies away, giving his brother a strange look as Gerard reaches up to hold Mikey's face in one hand. Mikey huffs out a breath while the audience murmurs, sounding uneasy in Mikey's ears. Then all he can hear is Gerard, breathing against his face.
"You can have sex with Frank if you want," Gerard whispers, his breath hot against Mikey's skin. "I don't mind sharing." Then he presses a wet kiss to Mikey's cheek, and strides off to bug Ray.
Mikey doesn't know what to think. First of all, it's just plain weird. Secondly, he's never thought of Frank that way. Frank is his friend. Not someone Mikey is attracted to or anything. But, he thinks objectively, Frank isn't unattractive. He's actually kind of hot.
Mikey finds himself watching Frank for most of the rest of the concert, while Frank devotes his attention to Gerard. Mikey wonders if he's as good in bed as he is onstage; if he actually gets down on his knees and sucks cock and doesn't mind a firm hand in his hair. Or if this is all an act, and Frank's role is reversed in the bedroom. Maybe Frank's secretly a top. Because after all, Bob is apparently secretly a bottom.
All this thinking about sex is distracting Mikey to no end. He messes up his chords a few times, but the audience doesn't seem to notice. He knows Ray and Gerard have to notice, though, because they're the ones who wrote the songs. He catches Ray looking at him a few times, and Mikey looks away. Trying to concentrate on the music and not mess up anymore.
Frank approaches him after the concert, but Mikey can't bring himself to say yes. He turns Frank down with a shake of his head, and Frank shrugs, obviously trying not to look too disappointed. Mikey feels bad, but he's not going to be guilted into sleeping with Frank. That would wronger than... than sleeping with Gerard. He thinks.
"Hey, Mikey." Ray sounds a little breathless when he comes up behind Mikey, both of them walking toward the dressing room. Mikey looks at Ray and cocks his head, inviting him to continue. Ray hesitates for a moment, then asks, "Is something going on with you and Frank and Gerard?"
Mikey's the one who hesitates then, stopping in front of his dressing room door. Not wanting to talk about it outside, he nods toward the dressing room and motions Ray inside, closing and locking the door behind them.
"Frank has some kind of brother kink and wants to have sex with me and Gerard," he blurts out. He knows he's betraying Frank's confidence by saying this, but he has to tell someone. And Ray has always been easy to talk to. He's a good friend. "And Gerard said he doesn't mind sharing Frank with me."
Ray stares at him for a moment, mouth gaping open, then says, "Wow."
Mikey nods somberly. "I know."
"So..." Ray pauses, scratches his head. "Are you gonna?"
"What? Of course not! Gerard's my brother."
"Yeah," Ray says, nodding. "Yeah. Of course."
They stand there for a minute, Mikey's thoughts racing, while Ray looks a little awkward. Mikey takes a deep breath, then turns to face the mirror, reaching for the cold cream so he can take his makeup off. He could probably afford to hire someone to do his makeup for him, but it's something he likes doing on his own. It's his face. It's personal.
"Do you like him? I mean. Frank."
"Huh?" Mikey dabs the cold cream onto a cloth and starts smoothing it onto his face, leaning forward to get a good look in the mirror. "I dunno, I never really thought about it. I guess I wouldn't kick him out of bed, y'know? But it's weird. He's sleeping with my brother now."
"Yeah." Ray moves to stand beside him, watching his face in the mirror. It's kind of intense, the way Ray is looking at him. Mikey wonders what's up with everyone lately. "So what about, um. What about the rest of us?"
Mikey frowns. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, y'know. Would you kick us out of bed?"
It takes Mikey a minute to process what Ray is saying. He blinks, and looks at Ray with new eyes. Why does Ray want to know? He's with Bob. Things seem to be going well with them.
"I dunno," Mikey murmurs, wiping away cold cream and streaks of makeup. He dabs under and around his eyes, taking special care not to touch anything that's not his skin. Once he wipes that away, he meets Ray's eyes in the mirror, looking at him steadily. "I guess not."
"Oh." Now Ray's the one who looks disappointed. Suddenly it clicks in Mikey's brain, what Ray is saying, and. Huh. Does Ray... is Ray...
Mikey turns to look at Ray, his face naked and average, his eyes a little softer than usual. Come to think of it, Ray is a looker, too. And Mikey already knows he likes Bob. Maybe this isn't such a bad thing.
"Why?" he asks softly. He wants to know.
Ray looks at the floor, a mass of curls falling in front of his face as his skin colors pink. He doesn't look up when he mumbles, "We like you. Me an' Bob."
Mikey stares. Okay, he was kind of getting the feeling that that was what Ray was going on about, but hearing it from Ray's mouth makes it seem all the more real. So Frank wants him, and Ray likes him, and Bob likes him. Since when is Mikey someone anyone even notices? Never mind comes on to.
"Cool. I like you too."
Ray looks unconvinced. "But not like that, right?"
Mikey tilts his head. "Actually," he says, "just like that." He smirks a little when the worry clears from Ray's face, replaced by confusion. Poor Ray. Mikey can tell it took a lot for him to admit to this. His smirk softens into a smile, and he steps a little closer. Really studying the features of Ray's face, noticing for the first time just how attractive he is. Then, because Ray is not giving off the vibe of someone who's going to make the first move, Mikey leans in and kisses him.
It feels so good to kiss someone again. Mikey's hooked up with a lot of people over the years, but there wasn't usually a lot of kissing involved. This is different; better. Ray seems surprised, but warms up to the kiss pretty quickly, tilting his head and bringing his hands up to rest on Mikey's waist. Mikey's breathing comes harder and faster and he buries his hands in Ray's hair, cock aching in his pants. He's been thinking about sex all afternoon, and now, he's making out with Ray. It's good but it's not enough.
Since Ray comes as a package deal with Bob, Mikey breaks the kiss, looking intently into Ray's eyes as he does. "Tonight?"
"Yeah," Ray says breathlessly, nodding. "Bob and I are already sharing a room, so."
"Cool." Mikey smiles tightly, resisting the urge to adjust himself in his pants. He's so hard it hurts. "I'll see you then."
Part 4b
Author: Casey Ben Sullivan
Pairing: Mikey, Mikey/Ray, thoughts of Mikey/Bob, Ray/Mikey/Bob, Frank/Mikey, and Gerard/Frank/Mikey
Rating: older teen (viewer discretion is advised)
POV: third person, Mikey's POV
Summary: Mikey's the odd man out. Only not.
Disclaimer: Not mine, not true.
Author's Note: AU. Beginning of the band's fame, but Bob is the drummer and has been since the beginning. I just like it better that way.
Series: Part 1: Gerard/Frank, Part 2: Bob/Ray, Part 3: Bob/Ray
Mikey remembers, way back in fifth grade, when he heard strange sounds coming from his brother's bed, fast breathing and shaking and sheets rustling. Concerned, Mikey had gotten up and gone to Gerard's bed - Gerard was in eigth grade then - and asked his brother what was wrong.
"Are you okay?" he asked, peering at Gerard in the darkness. "Are you having a bad dream?"
Gerard went completely still, and the panting stopped. Mikey touched his face, and he wasn't sweating. He took that as a good sign.
"I'm okay, Mikes," Gerard said, but his voice sounded strained. Mikey didn't believe him. "Go back to bed."
Still concerned, but wanting to trust Gerard, Mikey nodded and went back to bed. He kept his ears open, though, just in case something happened again. Nothing did. It was quiet for the rest of the night, and the next few nights after that.
It happened a few more times; waking up to hear Gerard panting and shifting, getting up to check on him, but Gerard always said he was okay. Finally, Mikey stopped asking what was wrong, and stayed in bed when it happened. He still didn't know what was going on, but it didn't seem to be something bad. Not if Gerard was okay.
By the time Mikey was in seventh grade, he'd figured out what Gerard was doing. Mainly because he was doing it himself. He always waited until Gerard was asleep, or he thought Gerard was asleep, anyway; it was hard to tell for sure. But Mikey never jerked off when he could hear Gerard jerking off, and Gerard never did it when Mikey did it first. It was an unspoken agreement that okay, this was something they had to do, but it wasn't something they did together. Because that would be weird, and wrong.
Touring on a tour bus is a lot like that. Five guys, all of whom are horny sometimes, and sometimes just need to rub out some morning wood. After being on the road for several months, Mikey knows what each of them sounds like; Gerard still pants quietly, while Frank kind of grunts and curses, Ray moans and curses under his breath, and Bob tries to be quiet but doesn't always succeed. Mikey doesn't know what he sounds like, but he hopes it's nothing embarrassing.
Because there are five of them, it just happens that sometimes they jerk off at the same time. At first, Mikey just stared at the ceiling and tried not to think about it; over time, it just turned into background noise. No one bothers anyone else when they're doing it, because that's just common courtesy. It's something to do alone.
Things are different now. Gerard is sleeping with Frank, and neither of them tries to be quiet about it. Half the time, Mikey leaves the bus. The other half, he just ignores them, because he's kind of gotten used to it by now. Bob and Ray are another story; it took Mikey awhile to figure it out, because it's so rare that they do anything on the bus. Usually, they just disappear somewhere, and come back in the morning looking satisfied. But it's hard to ignore when Mikey catches them doing it. It was just an accident, but now he can't get the image out of his brain.
He can't believe Bob sucks cock. He'd always pictured Bob as a top, if anything. And maybe that's a stereotype because of the way Bob looks, and he knows now that he was wrong. He just wishes he'd known about that before, so he could have done something about it before Bob got with Ray. Because now Mikey is the odd man out, while everyone else is paired off. Kind of like Noah's ark, except that everyone is gay.
Mikey doesn't expect to be dragged into the soap opera that is Gerard and Frank's relationship, but he's learned by now to expect the unexpected. That's why he doesn't do the smart thing and ignore it when he sees Frankie watching porn in the bus; laptop on his thighs while his legs are propped up on the seat in front of him. Mikey looks over the back of Frankie's seat when he hears the dramatic moaning, and sees two dark-haired girls and a blond guy. Mikey watches, because hey, it's porn. And Frank's not jerking off, so it's not weird.
"Hey," Frank says when he notices him, looking over his shoulder at Mikey. Mikey smiles down at him, because he's having a good day. Frank grins. "They're sisters," he says, pointing at the screen. "Hot, right?"
"Uh huh," Mikey agrees, not really thinking. Sisters - especially twins - are a staple of porn. It's hot, because two hot girls are hotter than one. That's the whole point.
They watch the video for a few more minutes, and Frank says, "It would be hotter if they were brothers."
Mikey shrugs, because the thought doesn't really do anything for him. Even though he's into guys, he just doesn't see the appeal of two brothers. Then he notices Frankie looking at him, really staring, and his cheeks get hot. Oh. Oh.
"No," he says abruptly, backpedaling, because the look on Frankie's face can only mean one thing. No. No no no no no. "I am not having sex with you and Gerard."
"Pfft." Frank looks away, but Mikey doesn't miss the look of disappointment on his face. Shit, does Frank really want that? Mikey doesn't get to find out, because Frank's slamming shut the laptop and getting up. Mikey stands up straighter. "Excuse me."
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what Frank is doing after he carries the laptop with him up to his bunk. Mikey's cheeks burn, because he doesn't know if Frank is thinking about the girls in the video, or him and Gerard. Him and Gerard. Gah.
Frank doesn't let it go at that. Sure, he avoids Mikey for a few days, and things eventually go back to normal, but then there's the concert. Mikey's minding his own business, strumming out the bassline, when Frank slides to his knees in front of him. Mikey does his best to ignore, but Frank's rubbing up against him, his face all over Mikey's thigh. And Mikey can't deny that he's turned on, not between the pulsing beat of the music and the attention from Frankie. He's just glad he's got his guitar in a strategic location, where Frankie won't know that he's actually getting to him.
It gets even weirder later, because Gerard sidles up to his side instead of Frank's or Ray's. Gerard leans in and Mikey shies away, giving his brother a strange look as Gerard reaches up to hold Mikey's face in one hand. Mikey huffs out a breath while the audience murmurs, sounding uneasy in Mikey's ears. Then all he can hear is Gerard, breathing against his face.
"You can have sex with Frank if you want," Gerard whispers, his breath hot against Mikey's skin. "I don't mind sharing." Then he presses a wet kiss to Mikey's cheek, and strides off to bug Ray.
Mikey doesn't know what to think. First of all, it's just plain weird. Secondly, he's never thought of Frank that way. Frank is his friend. Not someone Mikey is attracted to or anything. But, he thinks objectively, Frank isn't unattractive. He's actually kind of hot.
Mikey finds himself watching Frank for most of the rest of the concert, while Frank devotes his attention to Gerard. Mikey wonders if he's as good in bed as he is onstage; if he actually gets down on his knees and sucks cock and doesn't mind a firm hand in his hair. Or if this is all an act, and Frank's role is reversed in the bedroom. Maybe Frank's secretly a top. Because after all, Bob is apparently secretly a bottom.
All this thinking about sex is distracting Mikey to no end. He messes up his chords a few times, but the audience doesn't seem to notice. He knows Ray and Gerard have to notice, though, because they're the ones who wrote the songs. He catches Ray looking at him a few times, and Mikey looks away. Trying to concentrate on the music and not mess up anymore.
Frank approaches him after the concert, but Mikey can't bring himself to say yes. He turns Frank down with a shake of his head, and Frank shrugs, obviously trying not to look too disappointed. Mikey feels bad, but he's not going to be guilted into sleeping with Frank. That would wronger than... than sleeping with Gerard. He thinks.
"Hey, Mikey." Ray sounds a little breathless when he comes up behind Mikey, both of them walking toward the dressing room. Mikey looks at Ray and cocks his head, inviting him to continue. Ray hesitates for a moment, then asks, "Is something going on with you and Frank and Gerard?"
Mikey's the one who hesitates then, stopping in front of his dressing room door. Not wanting to talk about it outside, he nods toward the dressing room and motions Ray inside, closing and locking the door behind them.
"Frank has some kind of brother kink and wants to have sex with me and Gerard," he blurts out. He knows he's betraying Frank's confidence by saying this, but he has to tell someone. And Ray has always been easy to talk to. He's a good friend. "And Gerard said he doesn't mind sharing Frank with me."
Ray stares at him for a moment, mouth gaping open, then says, "Wow."
Mikey nods somberly. "I know."
"So..." Ray pauses, scratches his head. "Are you gonna?"
"What? Of course not! Gerard's my brother."
"Yeah," Ray says, nodding. "Yeah. Of course."
They stand there for a minute, Mikey's thoughts racing, while Ray looks a little awkward. Mikey takes a deep breath, then turns to face the mirror, reaching for the cold cream so he can take his makeup off. He could probably afford to hire someone to do his makeup for him, but it's something he likes doing on his own. It's his face. It's personal.
"Do you like him? I mean. Frank."
"Huh?" Mikey dabs the cold cream onto a cloth and starts smoothing it onto his face, leaning forward to get a good look in the mirror. "I dunno, I never really thought about it. I guess I wouldn't kick him out of bed, y'know? But it's weird. He's sleeping with my brother now."
"Yeah." Ray moves to stand beside him, watching his face in the mirror. It's kind of intense, the way Ray is looking at him. Mikey wonders what's up with everyone lately. "So what about, um. What about the rest of us?"
Mikey frowns. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, y'know. Would you kick us out of bed?"
It takes Mikey a minute to process what Ray is saying. He blinks, and looks at Ray with new eyes. Why does Ray want to know? He's with Bob. Things seem to be going well with them.
"I dunno," Mikey murmurs, wiping away cold cream and streaks of makeup. He dabs under and around his eyes, taking special care not to touch anything that's not his skin. Once he wipes that away, he meets Ray's eyes in the mirror, looking at him steadily. "I guess not."
"Oh." Now Ray's the one who looks disappointed. Suddenly it clicks in Mikey's brain, what Ray is saying, and. Huh. Does Ray... is Ray...
Mikey turns to look at Ray, his face naked and average, his eyes a little softer than usual. Come to think of it, Ray is a looker, too. And Mikey already knows he likes Bob. Maybe this isn't such a bad thing.
"Why?" he asks softly. He wants to know.
Ray looks at the floor, a mass of curls falling in front of his face as his skin colors pink. He doesn't look up when he mumbles, "We like you. Me an' Bob."
Mikey stares. Okay, he was kind of getting the feeling that that was what Ray was going on about, but hearing it from Ray's mouth makes it seem all the more real. So Frank wants him, and Ray likes him, and Bob likes him. Since when is Mikey someone anyone even notices? Never mind comes on to.
"Cool. I like you too."
Ray looks unconvinced. "But not like that, right?"
Mikey tilts his head. "Actually," he says, "just like that." He smirks a little when the worry clears from Ray's face, replaced by confusion. Poor Ray. Mikey can tell it took a lot for him to admit to this. His smirk softens into a smile, and he steps a little closer. Really studying the features of Ray's face, noticing for the first time just how attractive he is. Then, because Ray is not giving off the vibe of someone who's going to make the first move, Mikey leans in and kisses him.
It feels so good to kiss someone again. Mikey's hooked up with a lot of people over the years, but there wasn't usually a lot of kissing involved. This is different; better. Ray seems surprised, but warms up to the kiss pretty quickly, tilting his head and bringing his hands up to rest on Mikey's waist. Mikey's breathing comes harder and faster and he buries his hands in Ray's hair, cock aching in his pants. He's been thinking about sex all afternoon, and now, he's making out with Ray. It's good but it's not enough.
Since Ray comes as a package deal with Bob, Mikey breaks the kiss, looking intently into Ray's eyes as he does. "Tonight?"
"Yeah," Ray says breathlessly, nodding. "Bob and I are already sharing a room, so."
"Cool." Mikey smiles tightly, resisting the urge to adjust himself in his pants. He's so hard it hurts. "I'll see you then."
Part 4b