GLARN TALES 4: Her Fifteen Minutes Is On Hold For Now
GLARN TALES: Chapter 4
It's nearly the end of Week One in Das Glarnhaus, and Tobey gets another phone call.
It's Artie Morty, Sleestak Records' employee and new manager of The Glarn.
Tobey took an instant dislike to the man, though he wasn't sure why, and is dismayed to hear that Artie wants to come by the house to "see how all you kids are settling in."
Tobey: Well, um, okay. I guess. I mean, we've already had a couple of practice sessions, and we sound pretty good.
Artie: Sounds great, man.
Tobey: Okay, we sound great, then.
Artie: What? Oh, a joke! That's the spirit. Well, the test videos all look great.
Tobey: About that...is there any place that does not have a camera?
Artie: Oh, no. Everywhere in the house is wired.
Tobey: The bathrooms?!
Artie: Sure! You're all adults, right? Nobody in your band is particularly modest, I hope.
Tobey: Oh, ugh. Well... The bedrooms?
Artie: Especially the bedrooms.
Tobey: ... I see.
Artie: Look. You knew the deal before you guys signed up for this, kid. You're not getting cold feet on me, are you?
Tobey: ... Well, no....
Artie: Great, great! Well, I'll be by a little later on today to check on you guys.
Tobey: ...Will we be able to change our outfits any time soon? We appreciated the duplicates, but it's a bit dull to wear the same thing each day.
Artie: It's all for continuity, my man. Editing is a bitch without continuity. But we'll talk about it. Ciao! *click!*
Cameras everywhere? Oh, geez.
Tobey isn't particularly shy, but he's thinking about someone else.
Pleasantview is a small an somewhat isolated community, and it is always a big social event when new residents move in. This is how he met Sarashay Eclecstacy, a paralegal.
Yes, she dresses rather fabulously for a paralegal. What of it?
It may be unthinkable in other places to march over to a brand new neighbor's house just to say hello, but some aspects of 1950s "Leave It To Beaver" neighborliness remain in Pleasantview. Tobey found it a bit off-putting at first, when the first few days in the house seemed to bring a steady stream of female visitors, all of whom were fixated on Thierry.
No one ever gets a crush on the drummer, Tobey would sigh.
Then Sarashay came over, and she walked right past Thierry to talk to him! Wow!
Tobey had to admit that this event contributed greatly to his immediate affection for Sarashay.
It didn't hurt that he thought she was cute.
He didn't make the best impression on her when he tried to do the neighborly Welcome Wagon thing.
The roommates, Sarashay and Milla, had greeted him and told him to make himself at home, which he did.
Unfortunately, it took him a while to notice that they were busy doing other things, and he was being left to his own devices. Since he had been told to entertain himself, he took that instruction to heart, but, for some reason, lost track of the time.
He eventually realized that he was being a bit rude, and decided to make the gals some dinner.
Like most men, he felt his skills were best on a barbeque grill.
Alas, he wasn't used to a propane-powered grill, and disaster ensued.
Thanks to Jonquil's ineptitude in the kitchen, he already knew several of the neighborhood firefighters, and had to endure a lot of teasing.
Replacing the grill and chair was not exactly cheap, either.
Completely mortifed, he slunk off home, and hoped that his next visit would fare better. Of course, the offer to move into The Glarn House followed shortly after, and he had not had time to go back and make amends.
Amazingly, when Sarashay repaid his neighborliness with a Welcome Wagon visit of her own, she had either forgotten that he was the grill destroying rude houseguest from six months earlier, or she had forgiven his mistake already. Tobey was relieved, and made an extra effort to talk to her when she arrived at his house.
Equally astonishing to him, Sarashay seemed to appreciate his sense of humour and was friendly and a bit flirtatious, making lingering eye contact and giggling at every joke he made.
And, again, she completely ignored Thierry. This made Tobey feel a little less unlikeable, and after being ignored by most of the females in the neighborhood, his wilted ego needed the boost.
Sarashay: So you made your t-shirt yourself? I like it!
Tobey: Well, clearly you have excellent taste.
Sarashay (staring): Oh! Wow...your...um...belt buckle is certainly very shiny and impressive. Yeah, um, I almost bought that same buckle Downtown! What a coincidence!
Sarashay loved the house. Of course, who wouldn't? She exclaimed over all the decorations and told Tobey she didn't blame him for agreeing to move, once he told her he had been living in a dark basement apartment with not much more than an army cot, a hot pot and a mini-fridge to his name, and that practicing his drums meant renting rehearsal space in a concrete-block bunker of a building all the way Downtown. The mere luxury of being able to roll out of bed and practice drumming without an hour-long commute was, in his mind, the best part of the deal.
Sarashay was impressed by his dedication to his craft, and Tobey, again, appreciated her admiration. Soon they were talking as if they had been friends for years, and Tobey couldn't help but hope for even more than that. As for Sarashay, she seemed equally keen on him.
When it looked like Sarashay might become a regular visitor, Tobey realized that he had to come clean and let her know what the conditions of the deal the band had accepted were. He explained that The Glarn had been selected to live in the big Pleasantview mansion only as long as they also agreed to be filmed around the clock.
Sarashay at first thought it was a big joke.
Soon, however, Tobey explained that he wasn't kidding.
Sarashay said she wasn't sure what she thought about that, but would let him know.
The band was already accustomed to having an audience while they played, and Sarashay became a frequent visitor.
Sarashay was enthusiastic about The Glarn, and liked nothing more than doing an interpretive dance while Tobey played.
The ever-present cameras only rarely entered her mind, but she'd do her best to forget them.
The couple got along beautifully, and Tobey liked how her approval made him feel witty and smart and clever. Sarashay liked how kind Tobey was, and his sense of humour, and how impressed he was with her accomplishments. It was going swimmingly, for a while.
When Tobey continued to share his frustrations about the lack of privacy, however, Sarashay realized that she had to make a hard choice.
Sarashay: Normally I would have no problem with this at all, I kind of like being the center of attention. Would I go out in public like this is being looked at bothered me?
Tobey: ... But?
Sarashay: But I just got a new job, and as fun and creative as i can be when I'm not on the clock, I have to be professional and project a certain...corporate...image. I don't know if my boss would necessarily approve of me being on TV if I chose to just be myself, and I don't think you'd like me as much if I dressed up in a suit and barely said a word or did anything fun with you.
Tobey understood, but was sorely disappointed.
Sarashay: Don't worry! We'll think of something, I'm sure. In the meantime, there's always the phone and e-mail. They can try to film you typing on the computer, but I'm pretty sure they'll find such footage less than riveting. Meanwhile, what we can discuss can be as riveting as we like.
Tobey: I suppose that's fair, then.
Sarashay: Oh, I'm a great writer. I don't think you'll be too disappointed.
And, again, Tobey just had to be satisfied with this. For now. But he was thinking about things, and thinking hard indeed.
On the plus side, his frustration and loneliness inspired him to work even harder, and he started trying to turn his thoughts and feelings into a song. If nothing else, Sarashay would like it; of that, he was sure. And this made things easier to bear, knowing that someone out there appreciated his talent and his ideas...and him.
Sarashay suddenly found herself spending more and more time at home, and feeling a bit lonely. Her roommate had been staying out more and more, and Sarashay was eager to sit down with her and share all her thoughts and feelings about Tobey.
One evening, Sarashay was preparing herself for a quiet night of ramen noodles, Eddie Izzard concert videos, a good book and some Internet chat with Tobey (who she also missed) when her roomie Milla ran in, greatly enthused.
Milla: Guess what, guess what? I have a new job! I can finally quit working in a dang cubicle and complaining when people steal my red stapler.
Sheila: Well, congratulations!
Milla: It pays almost as much, but I think I'll be happier, and that will be worth the drop in salary. We won't have to fret about bills, so don't worry about that.
Sheila: Well, what is it?
Milla: I get to be a personal assistant again! I loved doing that before, and this time it's for a band! You know how I feel about music.
Sheila: Let me guess...
Milla: ... They're called The Glarn!
Sheila: Imagine my lack of surprise. If you had been around lately so we could talk, you might know why this doesn't shock me even a little bit.
And so Sarashay explained.
Milla: I'm sorry...Colin was on Spring Break, and I had to take advantage of him being in town.
Milla and Colin were a rare case of the local matchmaking gypsy actually making a good match. True, he was still at university, and Milla was a few years older, and neither seemed in any hurry to make it legal and official, but they seemed sweet on each other. Sarashay had occasionally felt a bit left out, but Milla had not had much luck with dating in the past, and so maybe this was just the universe trying to right a series of great wrongs.
The thing Sarashay envied most was that Colin could visit Milla any time he liked, as long as his class work didn't suffer for it.
Colin: Wait, what? Job? You're leaving Pleasantview?
Sarashay: No, no! Nothing that bad.
Milla: I'm not going anywhere, it's actually closer to your university than I am now, and we can see each other more often. This is a good thing!
So Milla told Colin all about it, and though he was not sure what to think about his girlfriend hanging out with a bunch of musicians, he was excited to hear that they'd have an easier time seeing each other face to face.
He had very definite ideas about how they should celebrate Milla's good fortune.
Fortunately, she was not opposed.
Over the next couple of days, Milla and Colin seemed to be increasingly happy about things, and Tobey was channeling most of his frustrations into his art.
As for Sarashay, she liked the music the band was creating more and more, and was thrilled to get to hear demos and rough tracks that no one else might ever hear.
She found that her writing seemed enhanced as well, thanks to Tobey's enthusiasm when she shared her poetry and book ideas.
She was filling up little memo books and journals at an astounding rate, and her personal Muse was on fire with inspiration.
She missed Tobey, but felt that, until they figured out a way to protect their privacy at least a little bit, it was best to keep her distance. They both hated this, but Tobey would sneak out and visit as often as possible, and they called and emailed and exchanged instant messages every day, and that made it all a wee bit easier.
Sarashay was beginning to think that she'd been worried about nothing.
Then she saw an advert for the reality show The Glarn were being filmed for.
It was worse than she'd thought.
To be continued...