Comments | sillypilgrim: ad nauseam

sillypilgrim

ad nauseam

Sep 04, 2009 12:17

I've been writing a lot in my paper journal. Reading this book Unholy Ghost has been thought provoking in that paper-journal-writing kind of way. I have been both surprised with and expecting the way I can identify with these short essays on depression. I think the surprise to me is that so many things I thought were idiosyncratic were actually ( Read more... )

thinking thoughts

Comments 10

jeney September 4 2009, 20:57:18 UTC

It's the me, me, me that is at the core of all this garbage, really. I've struggled fairly regularly - though not too frequently - with depression. I would motor through it, but I was never able to end it early. It was like I had to go allll the way to the other side instead of just taking a detour mid-trip. Until the last time, when I made the seemingly-impossible decision to stop focusing on myself. It felt unnatural, actually. It felt like I couldn't do it.

I don't know if what I did would work for everyone (I read and re-read and focused on the word of God), but I can't imagine that there wouldn't be at least some bit of relief to be gained just by getting over ourselves for maybe just a tiny bit.

This me, me, me business is really killing us.

sillypilgrim September 4 2009, 21:54:06 UTC

I do know that many times when I'm terribly desperate I cannot feel or hear God and it's because I'm so focused on myself. Then later when I'm calm enough to focus on Him He's there and He speaks.

It's hard to focus on Him though. It's hard to read the Bible.

Do you have any thoughts on medication that you'd be interested in sharing?

jeney September 4 2009, 22:24:06 UTC

It's hard, for sure. When you're in that place it feels more than hard. It feels completely impossible. But it's not impossible. It is just really, really hard. Really hard. The first time I did it, though, it was amazing. Truly. It was when I read that book by Joyce Meyers because every tool she gives you is a scripture. So there weren't any theories or therapy - like I was hoping to find. There were just the living words of a living God ( ... )

overcast September 4 2009, 23:43:37 UTC

going to bed at 9 instead of staying up until self-loathing:15

I hear this one! I've gotten better about it again. It makes everything else so much worse, it's finally not worth the horror tomorrow to steal just a few more minutes tonight playing stupid games on Facebook.

Thread 6

fringebenefits September 4 2009, 21:56:14 UTC

Just got that from the library I am going to start reading it soon.

plaid_chipmunk September 5 2009, 02:14:35 UTC

If we all kept the "character in a movie" concept and just made the main character God it'd be amazing.

I have been so Me Me Me lately (and always). It makes me feel sick, literally.

sillypilgrim September 5 2009, 07:24:39 UTC

Speaking of you, you, you, it's a little creepy how much you and Graham are alike, eh?
Well, maybe it's not creepy for you :) And probably it won't be creepy to me after spending more time with him (if I do) but just tonight it was a little weird a few times :)
In a good way since I adore you.

Also it's funny how I'm all up here at my house and you could be down there at your parents house right now. I REALLY hope coffee works out in the morning. I may just come over in my jammies with my cup ready.

unblinkable September 6 2009, 18:41:23 UTC

In reading what you posted, I really only have one thing that stood out to me as awkward... and you can TOTALLY tell me it's not for me to understand. But when you said, "I have recognized depression as something that comes to me on and off but in reality it is actually part of who I am."... what did you mean? Because I find it difficult to see that God would create in us this attribute of depression. It's not in His image. Typically, depression pushes us away from Him. I've only ever seen depression as a spiritual attack (in whatever form and at whatever level)... as something that God rescues us from, not creates in us to BE.