Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel) - Chapter 22
Title: Behind the Net: Across the Distance (A Sequel)
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Twenty Two
Rating: R
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 4636
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
The rest of winter vacation passed entirely too quickly for both Pierre’s and David’s liking. Just as Pierre had insisted, the two went out the day after Christmas and Pierre bought David not only one dress form, but two of them. Once he discovered that there were male bodies and female bodies, he insisted on getting David one of each. David had tried to argue that he could use his own body but Pierre couldn’t be dissuaded and he bought him both. David had never felt so spoiled before and he didn’t know what to do with himself, knowing he couldn’t do anything even remotely close for the other boy in return. He worried that anything he got for Pierre would feel forced and disingenuine, and he didn’t exactly have a ton of money sitting around to go get him something he would like. What was one supposed to buy for a person who had always had everything they could ever want and who could go out and pick up whatever they wanted at the drop of a hat?
Also true to his word, Pierre had bought pepper spray and a taser for David. David felt nervous holding them, worried that he was going to accidentally set them both off despite the fact that they had safety measures put into place to avoid such a thing happening. Pierre tried to reassure him that they were just a safety net and that the idea was to have them but to not ever have to actually use them, though he did impress upon David that he needed to be prepared to use them should the need arise. “They’re not gonna help you if he attacks you and they’re at the bottom of your backpack,” Pierre had told him and David had nodded in understanding no matter how apprehensive he felt.
At the end of the day they went back to David’s house, David growing incredibly insecure about the fact that he hadn’t found anything to get for Pierre despite the way Pierre had gotten him so much. At his awkward silence and obvious low mood, David had explained the insecurity, knowing by that point that it would be best to just get it out and be honest. Pierre had held him tenderly and told him, “You’ve given me more than I can ever thank you for. You saved me from myself. You saved me from a life I didn’t want but thought I had to live. You helped me be who I really am. You forgave me for everything I did to you and you love me in spite of it. A million gifts from me will never make up for everything you’ve done for me.” At these words David hadn’t been able to stop himself from crying and before either of them knew it they were kissing and tearing each other’s clothes off, all presents both bought and unbought completely forgotten.
New Year's Eve was a low key event for the two and though they stayed up until midnight and the ball dropping was on TV, neither of them saw it. They had already given into their desire for each other and hadn’t waited until midnight to kiss, incapable of keeping their hands off of each other. Pierre’s impending trip back to Anchorage had already begun to weigh on them and they found themselves kissing and touching more than ever with each passing day, sometimes ending up naked in David’s bed together multiple times in the same day. With no one around to stop them, neither could control themselves in the slightest. Knowing they were about to be apart for months again only made it worse.
By the time Sunday came and David was taking Pierre back to the airport, the pain between them was palpable and overwhelming. David knew this goodbye was going to be the hardest one yet. He knew that a full two weeks together was going to allow Pierre’s constant presence in his life to start to feel normal again and that it would only be harder to say goodbye because of it. This time it wouldn’t be just three weeks; this time it would be three months again, not able to see each other until Pierre came back to visit for spring break. It felt impossible to David, though he knew he couldn’t afford to fall apart again with what he knew he would be facing the very next day. He was going to have to keep himself strong and steady. He was going to have to be his own supporting force. He was going to have to continue to eat and he was going to have to face Hunter without fear. He allowed the way Pierre had clung to him and cried on his chest to drive himself forward. This time he had to show Pierre that he could be strong, no matter how much it hurt.
As they kissed and gave their sad goodbyes at the TSA line, Pierre knew he would again have to be the one to turn and walk away first. This time felt harder, however, and he stood there longer, his eyes hungrily taking in all of David’s features as if it could be the last time. Fear of what was going to happen to David kept him stuck in place. It was as if his hands had stopped working and couldn’t release their hold on David’s. It was as if his legs were full of lead and too heavy to move, unable to carry him away from the thing he wanted to protect most. Walking away from him now felt stupid and wrong and no matter how much he knew he couldn’t, he wanted more than anything to just say ‘fuck it’ to all of his responsibilities and his future and to stay with David in his house for the rest of his life. He wanted to drive him to and from school every day. He wanted to take him anywhere he needed to go around town, to never leave his side, to be sure he could never get hurt again. Despite all of that, he knew he had to turn around and walk away.
David held strong until Pierre turned and walked away, only allowing his face to crumple and his tears to fall once Pierre had turned his back. He had done this enough times with the other boy now to know that he wouldn’t be turning back around to look at him and unable to help himself he dropped down, his knees bending and his hands covering his face as he crouched to the ground. He held his sobs in his chest, unwilling to make a noise, afraid of what would come out of him. He just kneeled there, crying in absolute silence to himself, his limbs shaking and his heart aching, feeling as if it had just been ripped out of him.
He felt a sudden pressure around his body and David jumped, his hands dropping and looking up with wide eyes. He saw Pierre’s big brown eyes looking back into his own hazel ones with devastating sadness and he didn’t hesitate to fall into him, his body racking with sobs as he clung to him, both of them knelt to the ground. Pierre’s fingers tangled in the hair on the back of David’s head and he held him close, his face contorted in pain, having been unable to stop himself this time from turning back to see the other boy just one more time and even more unable to keep himself from going to him when he saw him crouched down to the floor crying. He felt his own tears in his eyes but he didn’t let them fall and instead just held David securely to himself, wanting to speak but afraid he would actually cry if he tried to say anything.
After several minutes Pierre began to stand, pulling David up with him though he made no move to pull away, not feeling ready to walk away again yet. “I love you,” he whispered in David’s ear, still cradling the back of his head.
David clung to him desperately, his fingers digging into his back. He knew he had to let Pierre go. He knew he had to get through TSA and go wait at his gate. He knew he couldn’t hold him up too long and risk making him miss his flight, but he didn’t have it in himself yet to let go. Suddenly he understood why Pierre had never turned back around before, because if saying goodbye the first time had been hard, doing so now after breaking down entirely and giving into his heartache felt absolutely impossible. He couldn’t speak, not even to tell Pierre that he loved him in return, too lost in his despair to do anything other than cry. He didn’t care that they were making a scene and were likely being looked at by strangers, all he wanted was to stand there and never let go, and for the first time Pierre made no move to walk away from him, feeling incapable of walking away from David when he was crying so miserably.
Eventually David began to regain control himself and common sense settled over him again. His arms finally began to loosen their hold and he forced himself to move backward, to let his arms fall from around Pierre’s neck and back to his sides, to take step backward and put space between their bodies despite the way it made him feel cold and empty and alone. “I love you, too,” he whispered finally, forcing himself to look up into Pierre’s eyes and wishing he could stop the tears that fell one after another down his cheeks. Pierre’s eyebrows scrunched in pain and he forced himself to stand entirely still, despite the way he wanted to reach back out and pull David back to him. David took another step back, and after several painful seconds he forced himself for the first time to be the one to turn around and leave, every step feeling like he was being run through with a knife.
A single tear escaped each of Pierre’s eyes and he pushed them away quickly with the back of his hand, unwilling to cry in public no matter how much he was hurting. He watched David leave until he couldn’t see him anymore before he turned back around and got back in the TSA line, feeling like his heart was walking away from him step by step. With a deep steadying breath he made himself continue forward, knowing that this pain was temporary and that by the end of May he would be finished with his first year of college and he and David would be together every moment from that point forward. We can do this, he told himself firmly, keeping his eyes down on the floor in front of him in order to avoid any accidental eye contact with anyone in line who had most definitely walked past them and seen their emotional exchange.
That night David allowed himself to fall apart entirely as soon as he got home. He didn’t make it two steps past the front door before he was on the floor crying, his house feeling colder and emptier than it had in months in Pierre’s sudden absence. He could see him everywhere he looked, sitting on the couch, standing in the kitchen covered in flour, eating dinner at the table, washing his hair in the shower, cuddling up to him in his bed. All of a sudden his abandoned house felt unbearable and he couldn’t stop the agony that poured from him. It took him what felt like hours before he got himself up and moved into his room, though his tears didn’t stop until he fell asleep from exhaustion and he woke several times that night reaching for Pierre next to him only to remember his absence and breaking down crying all over again.
By the time morning came and his alarm was going off, David felt completely empty and dehydrated, like he had cried out the last of the water from his body. He checked his phone and saw that he had missed a call and a text message from Pierre the night before, having passed out fairly early due to the way his emotions had drained him of everything he had. As he looked at the message Pierre had sent - a sweet goodnight telling him he loved him - he realized he had tears in his eyes again but he shook his head at himself, knowing he couldn’t afford to wallow in his sadness that day. He had let it all out shamelessly the night before, knowing he would have to keep himself together when he went back to school and saw Hunter again. He sent a message back, explaining that he had fallen asleep, and telling him that he loved him and that he would tell him as soon as he talked to Hunter.
David allowed his fear and anger to push all sadness out of him and he got himself up, forcing himself to go for a run before getting ready for the morning. As he knew Pierre would want, he tucked the taser in one jacket pocket and the pepper spray in the other and he listened to no music as he ran, wanting to be able to hear if anyone approached him. He continued to remind himself that he was unwilling to be a victim again and allowed that to motivate him and strengthen his resolve. He was not going to show Hunter that he was afraid of him. He was not going to allow him to see that he was weak and vulnerable. He was going to show him a new David, a stronger David, a braver David, a David that was no longer going to allow him to push to get his way, or manipulate his emotions and forgiving nature. Never again, he told himself firmly.
By the time he had eaten breakfast and showered, he felt stronger than he ever had before. Still, as he got himself dressed and threw on his jacket, he left his taser in one pocket and his pepper spray in the other, determined that he wasn’t going to need them but feeling strangely empowered that he had them all the same. He was certain it was against the school rules to bring such things onto campus but he didn’t care; his own safety was more important and he had to remember that, and to remember that he needed to use those items without hesitation if he needed to.
He continued to think back to his fighting and self defense lessons with Pierre, his body and hands twitching here and there as he went over the way he should punch and the things he could do if Hunter grabbed him from any direction. No matter how much he believed his verbal threat would be more than enough to get the other boy to leave him alone, David continued to run through these physical moves, wanting to be ready should he need to protect himself. He had to be on guard and prepared to do whatever was needed, even if he got in trouble with the school as a result. No amount of detention or suspension or even expulsion could keep him from stopping Hunter from touching him ever again. He told himself the other boy would never be allowed to lay another finger on him.
As he walked through the front doors and down the hall, David felt as if his rage was emanating from his every pore. He wore a hard glare on his face, his fists were balled, his arms were straight at his sides and he stomped as he moved forward, fierce and determined. He wasn’t going to wait, he wasn’t going to stew on it all day and lose his nerve; he was going to find Hunter and was certain he would be able to. Even though the other boy had skipped their last week of school before winter break, he knew he would be there today and would be looking for him. He was certain Hunter would try to apologize, that he would try to defend himself and to explain, but David was intent that he wouldn’t be given the chance. Hunter had been able to get him to lower his defenses and let him back in even after everything he had done to him before. He knew how to get into David’s head; he had gotten him to care about him again, to feel bad about his own relationship with the love of his life because of how Hunter was hurting over it. Never again, he told himself again, allowing his fury to pour from him and drive him on.
As he neared the end of the main hall he saw Hunter and though he wanted to shrink away and walk the other direction he didn’t allow his feet to stop even for a second. Hunter turned and saw him, his face pale, his eyes wide and devastated; David would have thought he looked ill if he had allowed himself to register what he was seeing or contemplate its meaning. He didn't, however, and instead pushed all thought away, approaching Hunter and allowing his rage to be seen and felt outside of himself.
“David,” Hunter said, his voice thick with regret.
David spoke no words and instead grabbed a handful of the other boy’s hoodie, not looking at him as he continued to walk, pulling him behind him as he turned down a hall. His body felt hot with anger and hatred and he replayed the last night he had seen Hunter and the things he had done to him despite how much he had begged for him to stop, allowing it to make him feel sick with rage.
“David, I-I’m sorry,” Hunter tried, but David gave him no response. He just continued to pull him along by the hoodie, his fist so tight on the fabric that his knuckles had turned white. He rounded a corner and followed down another hall until they were finally alone for what would be the last time ever. David stopped walking and turned to him finally, though he shoved Hunter away from him and released his sweater, pushing through his body as Pierre had taught him so that his power extended past him and forced him harshly away. Hunter stared at him with wide eyes as he stumbled backward and his back crashed violently against the wall behind him, stunning him silent.
“I don’t want to hear it,” David spat harshly, his hazel eyes alive with anger.
“David, I-”
“No!” David yelled at him, cutting him off effectively. For once he didn’t sound desperate or scared and it caught Hunter entirely off guard, having never experienced David being so aggressive before. “You are going to leave me alone. You’re never going to look at me or talk to me or touch me ever again, do you understand?” he continued, stunning Hunter further.
“David I wasn’t myself,” Hunter pleaded with him, though he made no movement to walk toward him, keeping himself against the wall where David had thrown him so mercilessly.
“I think you were more yourself than you’ve been in months,” David retorted angrily. Hurt registered on Hunter’s face at these words and he shook his head quickly. “Whatever bullshit you took, whatever you were on, it finally let the real you back out and you unleashed the monster that you actually are on me,” he continued, his voice dark and his glare fierce.
Again Hunter shook his head quickly, looking devastated rather than angry at the accusation. He stepped away from the wall and took a step forward as he said, “I hadn’t slept in days, I’d just been drinking and doing coke and I-”
“And that’s an excuse for trying to rape me?!” David threw at him harshly.
“David, I didn’t-”
“YES YOU DID!” David screamed over him and as he did he couldn’t stop himself as he stepped forward and pushed Hunter back into the wall with both hands on his chest, shoving through him with all of his might. Hunter fell back against the wall again and stayed there, his face contorted in a mixture of pain, surprise and denial. This expression only enraged David further and he continued to yell. “The only reason you stopped is because you got frustrated over how hard I was fighting against you! You would have raped me in that alley if I hadn’t been screaming too loud for you to handle! You’re fucking sick! You heard me screaming for you to stop and instead of feeling bad about it you got mad at me and punched me in the face!”
“I wasn’t myse-” Hunter tried again but David screamed over him again.
“YES YOU WERE! You were EXACTLY yourself!” David screamed at him, feeling his fury mounting to a dangerous level. He stood there for a few seconds, seething, breathing hard, trying to regain control of himself to say the words he knew he needed to say before he walked away. “If you ever talk to me again, if you ever touch me again, if you ever even so much as look at me again, I will go to the police and file a report. Maybe you don’t remember what you did to me, maybe you don’t remember the bruises and the cuts and the bites and the fucking hickeys you left on me, but don’t think I don’t have proof of it,” David threatened him darkly, and as he did he pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and went to the text that the had gotten ready to send to Hunter before he had left. He hit send, watching as all of the pictures made their way to his phone. He heard Hunter’s phone buzz in his pocket and looked back up at him, wanting to see his reaction to them. “Go ahead, remind yourself.”
He could see Hunter’s hands shaking as he pulled his phone from his pocket and opened it, could see pain on his face, could see tears in his eyes, could see revulsion and regret; David didn’t care for any of it.
“Pierre has the original pictures so don’t even think about trying to take my phone and deleting them,” David told him darkly, pulling Hunter’s eyes back up to his own. “If you don’t leave me alone from here on out, I will take everything you’ve ever wanted away from you. I’ll go to the police. I’ll tell your parents. I’ll reach out to fucking Julliard. I will do everything in my power to ruin everything you’ve ever wanted and I’ll feel happy doing it. I fucking hate you. I never want to have to look at your face or hear your voice ever again.” At these words tears actually began to fall down Hunter’s face but David didn’t care. He allowed the memory of himself helplessly pinned against that building with Hunter’s tongue forcibly in his mouth to drive him forward. He didn’t care that Hunter seemed remorseful or devastated or heartbroken. He would never again allow himself to care about Hunter in any way other than pure loathing so long as he lived.
“And let me be clear,” David continued, glaring harder now. “The ONLY reason Pierre didn’t come deal with you himself is because he and I both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have never stopped hitting you until he killed you, and a piece of shit like you isn’t worth giving up our future together.” At these words Hunter’s eyes widened a little and he leaned back against the wall a little more, looking shocked and deeply pained as tears continued to pour down his cheeks. “We’re going to move on from this. We’re going to move forward in life together and be happy and there’s NOTHING you can do to stop that. There is NO place for you in my life and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure you never bother me again. I mean it: NEVER talk to me again.” David glared at Hunter for several seconds longer before he turned and stormed back the way he came.
With each step David felt his anger draining rapidly from him, replaced by shaking fear. He didn’t turn around and just continued forward, though he ducked into the first bathroom he came across and locked himself in a stall. He pressed his back against the stall door and his hands shot to his face as his mind replayed what he had just done and said. Suddenly his entire body was shaking and tears were spilling from his eyes. He couldn’t believe that he had done it, that he had actually stood up to Hunter, that he had maintained his angry composure the entire time, that he had intimidated and hurt the other boy, that he had shoved him so hard it had shocked him twice, that he had threatened him into silence, unable to do anything other than cry in defeat. He had said everything he had wanted to say, had told Hunter how much he hated him and hadn’t betrayed a hint of fear while he had done it.
David leaned over and clutched his hands to his chest, curling into himself as sobs shook his body. He held his breath and forced himself to be perfectly silent, taking the occasional slow, careful, deep breath as quietly as he could before letting more noiseless sobs pulse from his chest. When the bell rang to warn that class would be starting soon David straightened up suddenly and took several shaky breaths, telling himself he had to calm down, that it was finally over and he didn’t have to let Hunter affect him anymore. He pulled his phone from his pocket and took three immediate actions: First he blocked Hunter’s number, then he changed his name in his phone to ‘DO NOT ANSWER Hunter Jackson’, and finally he texted Pierre.
I did it, it worked. He knows he’s stuck and can’t do
anything. He tried to defend himself at first but gave up.
I’ll tell you about it later when we talk but I just wanted
to tell you that you don’t have to worry, I told him off
and he’s not going to bother me anymore. I have to
go to class but I just had to text you first. I love you.
And with that David wiped the tears from his face, he unlocked the stall and went to the sink to splash his face with cold water a few times, and then he hitched his messenger bag on his shoulder and with a determined nod and a shaky breath he made his way to his first class of the day. He was certain that Hunter would heed his warning and leave him alone from here. The way that Hunter had cried in heartache and defeat was enough proof of that for him and he allowed that to comfort him. Hunter wouldn’t be bugging him anymore and he would be able to finally go on with his life, unburdened by the boy that he had once believed long ago that he was in love with and who he knew now without question was nothing to him and would never be anything to him ever again. For the first time in months, David felt free.
Author: shmorgenheigen
Chapter: Twenty Two
Rating: R
Pairing: Pierre/David
Word Count: 4636
Summary: The continuation of the story Behind the Net, picking up right where the original story left off. David and Pierre explore their new relationship while navigating a long distance relationship. While Pierre is in Anchorage in his first year of college and playing college hockey, David is stuck back in Juneau to finish his senior year of high school. When an unlikely person from David’s past shows up and forces their way back into David’s life, things take a turn for the dramatic. Will David and Pierre be able to maintain their love for each other while separated and stave off those pesky feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and depression?
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen!
Author's Note: When I started to re-write Behind the Net from Pierre’s perspective, I started to think about how much story there would be to tell when Pierre went off to college, leaving David alone in Juneau. I became obsessed with the idea of writing the next chapter in their story and now that it’s finished, I am absolutely in love with how it turned out and the original characters I added into the story! If anyone reads this, leave me a comment and let me know!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
The rest of winter vacation passed entirely too quickly for both Pierre’s and David’s liking. Just as Pierre had insisted, the two went out the day after Christmas and Pierre bought David not only one dress form, but two of them. Once he discovered that there were male bodies and female bodies, he insisted on getting David one of each. David had tried to argue that he could use his own body but Pierre couldn’t be dissuaded and he bought him both. David had never felt so spoiled before and he didn’t know what to do with himself, knowing he couldn’t do anything even remotely close for the other boy in return. He worried that anything he got for Pierre would feel forced and disingenuine, and he didn’t exactly have a ton of money sitting around to go get him something he would like. What was one supposed to buy for a person who had always had everything they could ever want and who could go out and pick up whatever they wanted at the drop of a hat?
Also true to his word, Pierre had bought pepper spray and a taser for David. David felt nervous holding them, worried that he was going to accidentally set them both off despite the fact that they had safety measures put into place to avoid such a thing happening. Pierre tried to reassure him that they were just a safety net and that the idea was to have them but to not ever have to actually use them, though he did impress upon David that he needed to be prepared to use them should the need arise. “They’re not gonna help you if he attacks you and they’re at the bottom of your backpack,” Pierre had told him and David had nodded in understanding no matter how apprehensive he felt.
At the end of the day they went back to David’s house, David growing incredibly insecure about the fact that he hadn’t found anything to get for Pierre despite the way Pierre had gotten him so much. At his awkward silence and obvious low mood, David had explained the insecurity, knowing by that point that it would be best to just get it out and be honest. Pierre had held him tenderly and told him, “You’ve given me more than I can ever thank you for. You saved me from myself. You saved me from a life I didn’t want but thought I had to live. You helped me be who I really am. You forgave me for everything I did to you and you love me in spite of it. A million gifts from me will never make up for everything you’ve done for me.” At these words David hadn’t been able to stop himself from crying and before either of them knew it they were kissing and tearing each other’s clothes off, all presents both bought and unbought completely forgotten.
New Year's Eve was a low key event for the two and though they stayed up until midnight and the ball dropping was on TV, neither of them saw it. They had already given into their desire for each other and hadn’t waited until midnight to kiss, incapable of keeping their hands off of each other. Pierre’s impending trip back to Anchorage had already begun to weigh on them and they found themselves kissing and touching more than ever with each passing day, sometimes ending up naked in David’s bed together multiple times in the same day. With no one around to stop them, neither could control themselves in the slightest. Knowing they were about to be apart for months again only made it worse.
By the time Sunday came and David was taking Pierre back to the airport, the pain between them was palpable and overwhelming. David knew this goodbye was going to be the hardest one yet. He knew that a full two weeks together was going to allow Pierre’s constant presence in his life to start to feel normal again and that it would only be harder to say goodbye because of it. This time it wouldn’t be just three weeks; this time it would be three months again, not able to see each other until Pierre came back to visit for spring break. It felt impossible to David, though he knew he couldn’t afford to fall apart again with what he knew he would be facing the very next day. He was going to have to keep himself strong and steady. He was going to have to be his own supporting force. He was going to have to continue to eat and he was going to have to face Hunter without fear. He allowed the way Pierre had clung to him and cried on his chest to drive himself forward. This time he had to show Pierre that he could be strong, no matter how much it hurt.
As they kissed and gave their sad goodbyes at the TSA line, Pierre knew he would again have to be the one to turn and walk away first. This time felt harder, however, and he stood there longer, his eyes hungrily taking in all of David’s features as if it could be the last time. Fear of what was going to happen to David kept him stuck in place. It was as if his hands had stopped working and couldn’t release their hold on David’s. It was as if his legs were full of lead and too heavy to move, unable to carry him away from the thing he wanted to protect most. Walking away from him now felt stupid and wrong and no matter how much he knew he couldn’t, he wanted more than anything to just say ‘fuck it’ to all of his responsibilities and his future and to stay with David in his house for the rest of his life. He wanted to drive him to and from school every day. He wanted to take him anywhere he needed to go around town, to never leave his side, to be sure he could never get hurt again. Despite all of that, he knew he had to turn around and walk away.
David held strong until Pierre turned and walked away, only allowing his face to crumple and his tears to fall once Pierre had turned his back. He had done this enough times with the other boy now to know that he wouldn’t be turning back around to look at him and unable to help himself he dropped down, his knees bending and his hands covering his face as he crouched to the ground. He held his sobs in his chest, unwilling to make a noise, afraid of what would come out of him. He just kneeled there, crying in absolute silence to himself, his limbs shaking and his heart aching, feeling as if it had just been ripped out of him.
He felt a sudden pressure around his body and David jumped, his hands dropping and looking up with wide eyes. He saw Pierre’s big brown eyes looking back into his own hazel ones with devastating sadness and he didn’t hesitate to fall into him, his body racking with sobs as he clung to him, both of them knelt to the ground. Pierre’s fingers tangled in the hair on the back of David’s head and he held him close, his face contorted in pain, having been unable to stop himself this time from turning back to see the other boy just one more time and even more unable to keep himself from going to him when he saw him crouched down to the floor crying. He felt his own tears in his eyes but he didn’t let them fall and instead just held David securely to himself, wanting to speak but afraid he would actually cry if he tried to say anything.
After several minutes Pierre began to stand, pulling David up with him though he made no move to pull away, not feeling ready to walk away again yet. “I love you,” he whispered in David’s ear, still cradling the back of his head.
David clung to him desperately, his fingers digging into his back. He knew he had to let Pierre go. He knew he had to get through TSA and go wait at his gate. He knew he couldn’t hold him up too long and risk making him miss his flight, but he didn’t have it in himself yet to let go. Suddenly he understood why Pierre had never turned back around before, because if saying goodbye the first time had been hard, doing so now after breaking down entirely and giving into his heartache felt absolutely impossible. He couldn’t speak, not even to tell Pierre that he loved him in return, too lost in his despair to do anything other than cry. He didn’t care that they were making a scene and were likely being looked at by strangers, all he wanted was to stand there and never let go, and for the first time Pierre made no move to walk away from him, feeling incapable of walking away from David when he was crying so miserably.
Eventually David began to regain control himself and common sense settled over him again. His arms finally began to loosen their hold and he forced himself to move backward, to let his arms fall from around Pierre’s neck and back to his sides, to take step backward and put space between their bodies despite the way it made him feel cold and empty and alone. “I love you, too,” he whispered finally, forcing himself to look up into Pierre’s eyes and wishing he could stop the tears that fell one after another down his cheeks. Pierre’s eyebrows scrunched in pain and he forced himself to stand entirely still, despite the way he wanted to reach back out and pull David back to him. David took another step back, and after several painful seconds he forced himself for the first time to be the one to turn around and leave, every step feeling like he was being run through with a knife.
A single tear escaped each of Pierre’s eyes and he pushed them away quickly with the back of his hand, unwilling to cry in public no matter how much he was hurting. He watched David leave until he couldn’t see him anymore before he turned back around and got back in the TSA line, feeling like his heart was walking away from him step by step. With a deep steadying breath he made himself continue forward, knowing that this pain was temporary and that by the end of May he would be finished with his first year of college and he and David would be together every moment from that point forward. We can do this, he told himself firmly, keeping his eyes down on the floor in front of him in order to avoid any accidental eye contact with anyone in line who had most definitely walked past them and seen their emotional exchange.
That night David allowed himself to fall apart entirely as soon as he got home. He didn’t make it two steps past the front door before he was on the floor crying, his house feeling colder and emptier than it had in months in Pierre’s sudden absence. He could see him everywhere he looked, sitting on the couch, standing in the kitchen covered in flour, eating dinner at the table, washing his hair in the shower, cuddling up to him in his bed. All of a sudden his abandoned house felt unbearable and he couldn’t stop the agony that poured from him. It took him what felt like hours before he got himself up and moved into his room, though his tears didn’t stop until he fell asleep from exhaustion and he woke several times that night reaching for Pierre next to him only to remember his absence and breaking down crying all over again.
By the time morning came and his alarm was going off, David felt completely empty and dehydrated, like he had cried out the last of the water from his body. He checked his phone and saw that he had missed a call and a text message from Pierre the night before, having passed out fairly early due to the way his emotions had drained him of everything he had. As he looked at the message Pierre had sent - a sweet goodnight telling him he loved him - he realized he had tears in his eyes again but he shook his head at himself, knowing he couldn’t afford to wallow in his sadness that day. He had let it all out shamelessly the night before, knowing he would have to keep himself together when he went back to school and saw Hunter again. He sent a message back, explaining that he had fallen asleep, and telling him that he loved him and that he would tell him as soon as he talked to Hunter.
David allowed his fear and anger to push all sadness out of him and he got himself up, forcing himself to go for a run before getting ready for the morning. As he knew Pierre would want, he tucked the taser in one jacket pocket and the pepper spray in the other and he listened to no music as he ran, wanting to be able to hear if anyone approached him. He continued to remind himself that he was unwilling to be a victim again and allowed that to motivate him and strengthen his resolve. He was not going to show Hunter that he was afraid of him. He was not going to allow him to see that he was weak and vulnerable. He was going to show him a new David, a stronger David, a braver David, a David that was no longer going to allow him to push to get his way, or manipulate his emotions and forgiving nature. Never again, he told himself firmly.
By the time he had eaten breakfast and showered, he felt stronger than he ever had before. Still, as he got himself dressed and threw on his jacket, he left his taser in one pocket and his pepper spray in the other, determined that he wasn’t going to need them but feeling strangely empowered that he had them all the same. He was certain it was against the school rules to bring such things onto campus but he didn’t care; his own safety was more important and he had to remember that, and to remember that he needed to use those items without hesitation if he needed to.
He continued to think back to his fighting and self defense lessons with Pierre, his body and hands twitching here and there as he went over the way he should punch and the things he could do if Hunter grabbed him from any direction. No matter how much he believed his verbal threat would be more than enough to get the other boy to leave him alone, David continued to run through these physical moves, wanting to be ready should he need to protect himself. He had to be on guard and prepared to do whatever was needed, even if he got in trouble with the school as a result. No amount of detention or suspension or even expulsion could keep him from stopping Hunter from touching him ever again. He told himself the other boy would never be allowed to lay another finger on him.
As he walked through the front doors and down the hall, David felt as if his rage was emanating from his every pore. He wore a hard glare on his face, his fists were balled, his arms were straight at his sides and he stomped as he moved forward, fierce and determined. He wasn’t going to wait, he wasn’t going to stew on it all day and lose his nerve; he was going to find Hunter and was certain he would be able to. Even though the other boy had skipped their last week of school before winter break, he knew he would be there today and would be looking for him. He was certain Hunter would try to apologize, that he would try to defend himself and to explain, but David was intent that he wouldn’t be given the chance. Hunter had been able to get him to lower his defenses and let him back in even after everything he had done to him before. He knew how to get into David’s head; he had gotten him to care about him again, to feel bad about his own relationship with the love of his life because of how Hunter was hurting over it. Never again, he told himself again, allowing his fury to pour from him and drive him on.
As he neared the end of the main hall he saw Hunter and though he wanted to shrink away and walk the other direction he didn’t allow his feet to stop even for a second. Hunter turned and saw him, his face pale, his eyes wide and devastated; David would have thought he looked ill if he had allowed himself to register what he was seeing or contemplate its meaning. He didn't, however, and instead pushed all thought away, approaching Hunter and allowing his rage to be seen and felt outside of himself.
“David,” Hunter said, his voice thick with regret.
David spoke no words and instead grabbed a handful of the other boy’s hoodie, not looking at him as he continued to walk, pulling him behind him as he turned down a hall. His body felt hot with anger and hatred and he replayed the last night he had seen Hunter and the things he had done to him despite how much he had begged for him to stop, allowing it to make him feel sick with rage.
“David, I-I’m sorry,” Hunter tried, but David gave him no response. He just continued to pull him along by the hoodie, his fist so tight on the fabric that his knuckles had turned white. He rounded a corner and followed down another hall until they were finally alone for what would be the last time ever. David stopped walking and turned to him finally, though he shoved Hunter away from him and released his sweater, pushing through his body as Pierre had taught him so that his power extended past him and forced him harshly away. Hunter stared at him with wide eyes as he stumbled backward and his back crashed violently against the wall behind him, stunning him silent.
“I don’t want to hear it,” David spat harshly, his hazel eyes alive with anger.
“David, I-”
“No!” David yelled at him, cutting him off effectively. For once he didn’t sound desperate or scared and it caught Hunter entirely off guard, having never experienced David being so aggressive before. “You are going to leave me alone. You’re never going to look at me or talk to me or touch me ever again, do you understand?” he continued, stunning Hunter further.
“David I wasn’t myself,” Hunter pleaded with him, though he made no movement to walk toward him, keeping himself against the wall where David had thrown him so mercilessly.
“I think you were more yourself than you’ve been in months,” David retorted angrily. Hurt registered on Hunter’s face at these words and he shook his head quickly. “Whatever bullshit you took, whatever you were on, it finally let the real you back out and you unleashed the monster that you actually are on me,” he continued, his voice dark and his glare fierce.
Again Hunter shook his head quickly, looking devastated rather than angry at the accusation. He stepped away from the wall and took a step forward as he said, “I hadn’t slept in days, I’d just been drinking and doing coke and I-”
“And that’s an excuse for trying to rape me?!” David threw at him harshly.
“David, I didn’t-”
“YES YOU DID!” David screamed over him and as he did he couldn’t stop himself as he stepped forward and pushed Hunter back into the wall with both hands on his chest, shoving through him with all of his might. Hunter fell back against the wall again and stayed there, his face contorted in a mixture of pain, surprise and denial. This expression only enraged David further and he continued to yell. “The only reason you stopped is because you got frustrated over how hard I was fighting against you! You would have raped me in that alley if I hadn’t been screaming too loud for you to handle! You’re fucking sick! You heard me screaming for you to stop and instead of feeling bad about it you got mad at me and punched me in the face!”
“I wasn’t myse-” Hunter tried again but David screamed over him again.
“YES YOU WERE! You were EXACTLY yourself!” David screamed at him, feeling his fury mounting to a dangerous level. He stood there for a few seconds, seething, breathing hard, trying to regain control of himself to say the words he knew he needed to say before he walked away. “If you ever talk to me again, if you ever touch me again, if you ever even so much as look at me again, I will go to the police and file a report. Maybe you don’t remember what you did to me, maybe you don’t remember the bruises and the cuts and the bites and the fucking hickeys you left on me, but don’t think I don’t have proof of it,” David threatened him darkly, and as he did he pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and went to the text that the had gotten ready to send to Hunter before he had left. He hit send, watching as all of the pictures made their way to his phone. He heard Hunter’s phone buzz in his pocket and looked back up at him, wanting to see his reaction to them. “Go ahead, remind yourself.”
He could see Hunter’s hands shaking as he pulled his phone from his pocket and opened it, could see pain on his face, could see tears in his eyes, could see revulsion and regret; David didn’t care for any of it.
“Pierre has the original pictures so don’t even think about trying to take my phone and deleting them,” David told him darkly, pulling Hunter’s eyes back up to his own. “If you don’t leave me alone from here on out, I will take everything you’ve ever wanted away from you. I’ll go to the police. I’ll tell your parents. I’ll reach out to fucking Julliard. I will do everything in my power to ruin everything you’ve ever wanted and I’ll feel happy doing it. I fucking hate you. I never want to have to look at your face or hear your voice ever again.” At these words tears actually began to fall down Hunter’s face but David didn’t care. He allowed the memory of himself helplessly pinned against that building with Hunter’s tongue forcibly in his mouth to drive him forward. He didn’t care that Hunter seemed remorseful or devastated or heartbroken. He would never again allow himself to care about Hunter in any way other than pure loathing so long as he lived.
“And let me be clear,” David continued, glaring harder now. “The ONLY reason Pierre didn’t come deal with you himself is because he and I both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have never stopped hitting you until he killed you, and a piece of shit like you isn’t worth giving up our future together.” At these words Hunter’s eyes widened a little and he leaned back against the wall a little more, looking shocked and deeply pained as tears continued to pour down his cheeks. “We’re going to move on from this. We’re going to move forward in life together and be happy and there’s NOTHING you can do to stop that. There is NO place for you in my life and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure you never bother me again. I mean it: NEVER talk to me again.” David glared at Hunter for several seconds longer before he turned and stormed back the way he came.
With each step David felt his anger draining rapidly from him, replaced by shaking fear. He didn’t turn around and just continued forward, though he ducked into the first bathroom he came across and locked himself in a stall. He pressed his back against the stall door and his hands shot to his face as his mind replayed what he had just done and said. Suddenly his entire body was shaking and tears were spilling from his eyes. He couldn’t believe that he had done it, that he had actually stood up to Hunter, that he had maintained his angry composure the entire time, that he had intimidated and hurt the other boy, that he had shoved him so hard it had shocked him twice, that he had threatened him into silence, unable to do anything other than cry in defeat. He had said everything he had wanted to say, had told Hunter how much he hated him and hadn’t betrayed a hint of fear while he had done it.
David leaned over and clutched his hands to his chest, curling into himself as sobs shook his body. He held his breath and forced himself to be perfectly silent, taking the occasional slow, careful, deep breath as quietly as he could before letting more noiseless sobs pulse from his chest. When the bell rang to warn that class would be starting soon David straightened up suddenly and took several shaky breaths, telling himself he had to calm down, that it was finally over and he didn’t have to let Hunter affect him anymore. He pulled his phone from his pocket and took three immediate actions: First he blocked Hunter’s number, then he changed his name in his phone to ‘DO NOT ANSWER Hunter Jackson’, and finally he texted Pierre.
I did it, it worked. He knows he’s stuck and can’t do
anything. He tried to defend himself at first but gave up.
I’ll tell you about it later when we talk but I just wanted
to tell you that you don’t have to worry, I told him off
and he’s not going to bother me anymore. I have to
go to class but I just had to text you first. I love you.
And with that David wiped the tears from his face, he unlocked the stall and went to the sink to splash his face with cold water a few times, and then he hitched his messenger bag on his shoulder and with a determined nod and a shaky breath he made his way to his first class of the day. He was certain that Hunter would heed his warning and leave him alone from here. The way that Hunter had cried in heartache and defeat was enough proof of that for him and he allowed that to comfort him. Hunter wouldn’t be bugging him anymore and he would be able to finally go on with his life, unburdened by the boy that he had once believed long ago that he was in love with and who he knew now without question was nothing to him and would never be anything to him ever again. For the first time in months, David felt free.