Well, I don't know where to start. A lot of shit happened after last chapter that got in the way of writing, and I don't exactly want to get into details, so let's just leave it at that. But I'm still really sorry about the delay, cause I know we left you all on a cliffhanger. We're bad people, lol.
Thanks to
llamaramauk for being the best beta evar :P
Title: Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
Authors: Lyrical Rawr & Shiva
Pairing: Fake!? Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/Romance
Warnings: Swearing, possible SPOILERS for GS1 and 2
Status: Complete
Word count (Ch.10): 10,852
Summary: Miles desperately needs a way to get rid of an unwanted admirer, and what better way is there than to pretend to date his very male, straight best friend and rival? It sounded so foolproof in his head...
Chapter 1 |
Chapter 6 |
Chapter 11 |
Chapter 16 |
Chapter 21 Chapter 2 |
Chapter 7 |
Chapter 12 |
Chapter 17 Chapter 3 |
Chapter 8 |
Chapter 13 |
Chapter 18 Chapter 4 |
Chapter 9 |
Chapter 14 |
Chapter 19 Chapter 5 |
Chapter 10 |
Chapter 15 |
Chapter 20 Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
-- Chapter 10 --
Hard At Work
Phoenix unlocked the front door to the office and paused, before opening it a few inches to peer into the room. Noticing it was empty, he sighed with relief and walked in, taking off his jacket to hang on the coat stand. He checked his watch. 9:32.
He grinned.
Hah, only half an hour late. Take that!
He made his way over to the reception desk and checked the appointment book, which was empty.
That suits me just fine.
I’ll go type up some documents and look busy until Maya gets in…
Phoenix looked around the desk for the old cases and client details, lifting up piles of paper doodles and magazines in the process.
Huh, guess we don’t have any left over.
He went to check the desk in his office, opening a few drawers, before going over to check the bookshelf and the filing cabinet. They all seemed pretty in order to him.
This is what I get for working too hard on a Friday…
Shrugging, he went to make himself coffee. He had to look around for some milk that didn’t smell off and boil the kettle twice, as the water that had been left in it the first time only half filled the cup. After all his hard work, he eventually got his coffee and went back through to his office to sit down in front of his computer.
-BANG-
Phoenix jumped at the noise of the front door being slammed shut and nearly spilled his drink. Maya suddenly came storming into his office, her eyes narrowed.
“Hey, Maya,” he said cautiously.
Maya walked up to the desk and slammed a hand down on the surface. “Alright, you!” She pointed at him. “What’s the deal?”
Phoenix frowned. “Huh…? What do you mean?”
Maya put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Where were you yesterday?”
Phoenix blinked. “At home.”
“Liar!” Maya shouted, making Phoenix jump out of his chair. “I went to your place and you weren’t there!”
“But I was at home!” Phoenix protested, his hands raised above his head as if he was being threatened with a gun. “I barely did anything all day!”
Because that doesn’t make me sound pathetic…
Maya scowled. “You definitely weren’t there when I turned up for us to go to lunch together at twelve.”
I’m guessing that by ‘go to lunch together’, she means me buying her as many burgers as my wallet allows.
“Well…” Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. “I went out for a bit to buy groceries and… y’know… stuff…” He trailed off. “Why didn’t you call me before showing up?”
Maya scoffed. “So you could make up more excuses to avoid me?” She crossed her arms. “I don’t think so.”
“Excuses…?” Phoenix pulled a face. “What the hell are you talking about? Why would I be avoiding you?”
“I don’t know, Nick. You tell me.”
Phoenix sighed. “I, honest to God, don’t have a clue what you’re saying, Maya.”
“Oh, really?” Maya held up a finger. “First off, you take a Friday off and make up stupid reasons why you didn’t come in. Secondly,” she held up another finger, “you don’t return my calls, and when I finally do get through, you act all weird! Thirdly,” a third finger went up, “the only time I’ve seen you this past week and a bit was at work, and even then, you seem like you’re somewhere else!” She dropped her hand. “And, if that’s not enough, you bring a posh umbrella to the office after coming back from a break!”
…Of course, the most suspicious thing here is the umbrella, not the fact that I was gone for almost two hours!
Phoenix shook his head. “You’ve got it all wrong, Maya. I’ve just… been a bit busier than usual recently. I really didn’t mean to make it seem like I’m avoiding you.”
“But that’s the point, Nick,” Maya retorted. “You’re never ‘busier than usual’. You’re barely ever busy, even at work!”
“Hey, I resent that!”
“If you’re not avoiding me, then why can’t you just tell me what’s going on?” Maya asked sternly.
Sure, why not? She’ll completely understand that it all happened because I have to go off and be a good boyfriend to Edgeworth whenever I’m needed.
Phoenix sighed and rubbed his forehead. “There’s nothing going on, Maya. Some old friends from school have got back in contact, so I’ve been meeting up with them lately.”
“Nick, I’m not stupid! I know you’re hiding something!” Maya snapped. “The fact that you won’t tell me what it is makes me think that--”
-Bring bring, bring bring-
Phoenix and Maya both jumped.
-Bring bring, bring bring-
Phoenix looked over at Maya.
-Bring bring, bring bring-
She glared back at him.
I guess I’ll take that as an ‘It’s okay’ glare.
He quickly picked up the receiver and sat down in his chair. “Wright and Co. Law Offices.”
He gestured for Maya to leave the room. She rolled her eyes and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
Phoenix flinched and bit his lip.
Why has she got so worked up? I can’t have been acting that much different…
He was jolted out of his thoughts when the person on the other end started talking.
“Hey, lawyer guy. You’re good at getting criminals out of jail, aren’t you?”
Phoenix frowned. “It’s more to do with stopping people from going there in the first place because they’re innocent.”
“Oh, well, that’s even better,” the man replied. “You see, I’m planning on killing my ex-wife’s new boyfriend.”
Phoenix blinked. “…What?”
“Well, I’d have done it already, but I think I’d get put in jail for it, so I need you to prove I’m innocent.”
Phoenix rubbed the bridge of his nose. “So… you want me to defend you for a crime you haven’t committed yet?”
“I will be committing it soon. It’d be a bit stupid to get you to defend me when I haven’t done anything.”
Oh, silly me.
“Uh-huh, I see…” Phoenix sighed. “I recommend you don’t kill your ex-wife’s new boyfriend.”
“You do?” There was a pause. “Well, what do I do about it, then?”
“You want her back?”
“No, not really,” the man answered. “I just don’t want him touching all the stuff I’d bought and paid for with my own money.”
Phoenix sat back in his chair. “Perhaps you should try to get these items back so he can’t use them?”
There was a long silence. “…So, like, robbery?”
…That’s it, Phoenix! You go and give him ideas!
“I suggest you stick to legal methods of sorting this problem.”
“Blackmail?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of legal repossession,” Phoenix said weakly.
“Legal repossession, huh?” the man replied thoughtfully. “That means I won’t get put in jail?”
“Pretty much.”
“Hey, you’re good!” he exclaimed. “I’ll go and do that. Thanks for the advice, lawyer guy!”
Phoenix rubbed his neck. “No problem.”
The line went dead.
He put the receiver down and stared at it for a moment.
I should totally charge for that service…
Looking for the right thing to do? Call ‘Wright’s Nutcase Hotline’!
He chuckled to himself.
Sounds kinda catchy.
Phoenix got up and walked over to the door. He wrenched it open and looked at Maya, who was reading a comic on the couch. “Hey, Maya, could you do me a favour?”
Maya looked up at him. “What is it?”
“Could you take my calls for the rest of the day? That last one killed me.”
Maya rolled her eyes. “You’re useless, Nick.” She sighed, before looking back down at her comic. “Fine.”
Phoenix grinned. “Thanks! I owe you one.”
“Lunch is on you!” Maya called out to him as he closed the door.
Phoenix winced.
At least she’s apparently forgotten about being annoyed with me.
He sighed and walked back over to sit down at his desk.
I guess I didn’t really think about how Maya would react to this thing with Edgeworth.
He frowned.
It’s not as if anything has changed because of it…
Apart from the fact that I get to see him more.
Phoenix shook his head and took a sip of his coffee.
Oh well. She’ll forget about it soon. I’d just be wasting time thinking about it when I have work to do…
Actually, what was there for him to do?
He really couldn’t be bothered typing up more of those stupid case files, and sorting the hard copies was so damned tedious. It would be too much work to try and find some, anyway. There were also no appointments, and he’d already double-checked the finances and accounts - it had been a pretty easy job, seeing as though he’d only needed to glance at them to see the bold, red numbers. Hell, he didn’t even have to answer the phone anymore. Until a potential client showed up, there was literally nothing to keep Phoenix busy.
He tapped his fingers on the desk, glancing around the room to see if anything caught his attention.
“There’s got to be something to do,” he muttered to himself.
Since when is it possible to run out of work at work?
Phoenix paused.
…What the hell am I saying?
He grinned and sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.
Complaining about not having any work to do? Am I turning into Edgeworth?
There was a long silence as Phoenix simply sat there, doing nothing. Not even his thoughts seemed to want to keep him occupied.
Well, this is entertaining…
Sitting up to look at the clock, he noticed that time had gone incredibly slowly. He watched the second hand move for a bit.
“Okay, I give!”
Phoenix quickly reached for a pen and grabbed an old envelope. He started off drawing little swirls on the corners, moving on to draw a flower in the middle of the page. He stopped to inspect his artwork, wondering how he could make it slightly more manly. He connected the petals so they looked like rings circling around a planet - which had previously been the center of the flower - before labelling it ‘Justice’. Satisfied, he went on to draw a little spaceship with a stick alien inside. He gave the alien a cravat and labelled it ‘Prosecutor’.
After adding a dozen or so stars to complete the masterpiece, Phoenix held it up in front of himself and chuckled.
And here we have Exhibit A in the case of the missing maturity of Phoenix Wright.
He took a moment to study it, before scrunching it up into a ball and chucking it at the waste paper bin.
To his dismay, he missed.
That was a fluke…
He opened a drawer and pulled out some scrap paper he’d used to note down a client’s details on. He scrunched it up into a ball and took his time aiming, only to miss again by about a foot.
Phoenix pouted, taking out another piece of paper, scrunching it up tighter this time, and throwing it directly at the trash can. It bounced off the rim.
“Damn it,” Phoenix mumbled under his breath, going over to pick the balls of paper off the floor. He walked over to the shredder and turned it on, before feeding all three pieces of paper through it and smiling down proudly at the remains.
Hah, take that!
He looked around and spotted an old file that was marked ‘Private and Confidential’, with a post-it on top that said ‘To be sorted’. Inside it was a load of paper, along with a good supply of paperclips. He pondered for a moment, then shrugged and removed the clips, before starting to shred the paper in clumps.
It was a strangely addicting task. By the time Phoenix had finished with the folder, he found himself looking for other things to stick in and gathered every bit of scrap paper and all the old envelopes he could find.
In the end, he was left with an overflowing container, full to the brim with bits of paper.
A noble sacrifice.
But now I have to clean all this up…
Phoenix picked the container up, removing the shredding mechanism, and looked around the office for a place to hide the evidence. For some reason, his brain told him that the top shelf of the bookcase would be completely suitable.
He wheeled his chair over to stand on it, and was just able to reach up and inch the container on. It was almost secure when, suddenly, the chair decided to have a mind of its own and jerked in the opposite direction. Phoenix quickly got off the chair, letting the container tip over, half the contents falling down. He looked at the paper as it fluttered around his head, and then up at the teetering container, before shrugging and pulling his chair back over to his desk to sit down.
I’ll clean it up later.
Maybe I can trick Maya into helping me if I tell her it’s indoor snow…
He glanced down at his desk to see the pile of paperclips and picked one up, only to find it had been joined onto another.
Inspiration struck. Phoenix threaded each paperclip onto the last one to make a long line of them. He then sat back in his chair, holding the chain up in front of him to grin at it.
If that isn’t productive work, I don’t know what is.
Phoenix rested his head on his hand, his free hand twirling the paperclip chain around his fingers. He quickly became frustrated with his creation, however, as the edges of the clips kept catching his skin. It didn’t take very long until he had enough, and he jammed it down onto his desk, where an eraser happened to be innocently sitting.
The eraser snapped into two with the force, making Phoenix frown.
I created a cannibalistic monster.
He laid the paperclip chain down on the desk and quickly withdrew his hand.
This needs bringing to justice!
Phoenix chucked the eraser and chain into his pen pot, before taking out a sharpener, a ruler and a pen. He selected the ruler to voice first.
“Wright, even if I am the prosecution on this case, don’t expect any special treatment.”
He rubbed his chin.
Something isn’t right…
A ruler’s too blunt to be associated with Edgeworth.
Phoenix stared at it for a moment, before breaking into a smirk.
And way too straight.
He put the ruler to one side and picked up the sharpener.
“That wasn’t amusing, Wright,” Phoenix mimicked in the best Edgeworth impression he could achieve. “Especially seeing as you’re on trial on the murder of your beloved eraser.”
Phoenix chuckled and picked up the ruler again, deciding it represented him a lot better than it did Edgeworth. “Okay, witness, explain how I’m the killer. From the evidence, I can see that the paperclips were wholly responsible for the eraser’s unfortunate demise.”
“Ah, but, sir,” the pen replied, “I spotted you from just over there threading the paperclips together into a dreadful weapon.”
“Now, this is true.” Phoenix picked up his coffee and twisted a bit in his chair. “However, it is not my actions that led to the eraser splitting in two.”
He took a sip and leaned back in his chair, picking up the pencil sharpener. “Objection! According to witness accounts, you provoked the paperclip chain, Wright.”
Phoenix snorted and had to bite his lip from fear of laughing at his own joke. He sat up straight again and put the pencil sharpener back down.
“Overruled on the basis that this is really stupid.”
He chucked the stationery back into the pot and, in the process, noticed that most of the pencils were blunt. He sighed.
I need a secretary.
Phoenix grabbed the electric sharpener and started off going through each of his pencils. It was an incredibly boring task and, after the fifth pencil, he really needed to do something to keep himself occupied.
He hit the power button on the computer. Thankfully, it worked, and Phoenix managed to multitask sharpening his next pencil with his left hand while opening the Games tab in the Start menu. He heard the noise that signalled the pencil was sharp and grabbed the next one without looking, too busy choosing which game to play.
There’s no way in hell I’ll ever complete that FreeCell thing, and I don’t think I’ll be able to beat 356 seconds on Minesweeper anytime soon…
I really shouldn’t be so well versed on this.
He started on his next pencil and clicked on Hearts, smirking as he entered the name ‘Ace Attorney’. The names of the other players were so boring, and winning or losing against some random person called Pauline meant nothing. Phoenix decided to jazz them up a little, moving onto his next pencil as he opened the options menu to enter ‘Edgeworth’ as the first player.
Oh, you’re so going down, Edgeworth.
He snickered and entered ‘Maya’ and ‘Larry’ in the other places, reaching to stick another pencil in the sharpener.
This time, however, there was a strange crunching noise. Phoenix turned to look at it.
Ink exploded everywhere.
“Shit…!”
Phoenix flinched and closed his eyes, withdrawing what he had thought was a pencil.
He waited a few seconds and slowly opened one eye to inspect the damage. The ink had covered his desk and keyboard, along with coating his post-its and some stray folders. A smattering of it was dripping off the sharpener.
I’ve always wondered what would happen if I did that…
Phoenix put the broken pen down and checked over his suit. Miraculously, he’d escaped getting any ink on himself. He quickly went to get some tissues, mopping up as much of it as possible.
I really need a secretary.
He sighed and went over to drop the tissues in the trash, before going back to his computer to look at which cards he could give away. He got rid of some hearts and the rest of his clubs, before sitting down and picking up his cup of coffee. It was starting to get cold, so Phoenix downed the lot. He placed the cup down and a post-it on the desk caught his eye. Next to a blob of ink was a little scribble that Phoenix deciphered as ‘4 ft’.
Four feet? Is that all?
He turned back to his game of Hearts and played a couple of rounds.
I’m sure Maya said she managed six the other day…
Surely six feet is impossible.
His eyes darted back to the inscription on the post-it, and then over to where his stapler was sitting. He reached for the stapler and pulled it so it was flat.
It’s my duty as a defence attorney to reveal the truth, after all.
Phoenix pressed down on the stapler and watched the staple fly across the room. He leaned over his desk to see where it had landed, but couldn’t spot anything on the floor. He shot a couple more, hoping that a small pile of them would be more noticeable. However, when he checked again, they were still invisible on the grey carpet.
He frowned and got up, walking around his desk to get down on his hands and knees, his nose nearly touching the floor. He scanned the carpet and eventually found one of the escapee staples. Glancing back, he figured it to be about four feet away from his desk.
“I knew it! Six is impossible!”
Phoenix dropped the staple and got up to dust his suit down. Just to make sure, he walked back to his desk, keeping his eyes on the spot where he had found the staple, and walked back towards it.
“One… two… three… four…” Phoenix mumbled under his breath.
He frowned and looked down at the floor.
The staple was nowhere to be seen.
He sighed.
This is stupid. For all I know, that could have been a staple from ages ago, anyway.
As if Maya could tell if she got six feet…
Phoenix paused.
Do I really have nothing better to do than see how far I can get a staple to fly across the room?
He shook his head and went back to sit down at his desk, pinging a few more staples for the hell of it.
I guess I had such a busy weekend that it’s not surprising I feel like I’ve got nothing to do.
Phoenix smiled to himself and put down the stapler.
I bet compared to Edgeworth’s normal standard of busy, last weekend would have been relaxing.
He snickered as he imagined a stressed out Edgeworth sitting in the middle of piles of paper as tall as skyscrapers.
He brings the massive workload on himself, really. A good prosecutor is a rare find so they’re bound to work him into the ground…
I wonder what he’s up to right now…
Phoenix paused on that thought. He searched his desk for his address book and flicked through to ‘E’, then dragged his finger down the page until he reached ‘Edgeworth Work’.
He wouldn’t mind if I called him, would he?
Phoenix tapped the page and glanced over at the phone a couple of times.
He’s probably just doing a pile of unimportant paperwork, anyways.
He dialled the number to Edgeworth’s office and leaned back in his chair as the phone rang one, two, three times.
Maybe he’s not in…
“Miles Edgeworth.”
Phoenix sat back up. “Hey… it’s me.”
“…Wright?” There was a pause on the other end. “What the hell are you calling me at work for? I’m busy.”
I should have seen that one coming.
“Sorry. I just…” Phoenix trailed off.
…Why did I call him again?
“I just wanted to ask…” He bit his lip. Why couldn’t he remember why he’d wanted to call Edgeworth in the first place? There was certainly a reason. He couldn’t have been that bored.
I guess I’ll just have to bluff my way through this one until I remember.
Phoenix cleared his throat. “Does a guy really need a reason to want to hear his boyfriend’s voice?”
Silence.
“…Edgeworth?”
“Which part of ‘I’m busy’ do you not understand, Wright?” Miles snapped.
Still in a bad mood, I see.
“You’re always busy, Edgeworth.”
“And yet, you keep calling me,” Miles replied dryly.
Phoenix rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s true, though. Even if I call you at home, you say the same damned thing.”
“My point exactly.”
Phoenix sighed, before bringing his attention back to the computer screen. He clicked on the eight of diamonds - the last card he had left - and smiled to himself when he saw that he was still in the lead, with a perfect score, no less. He stretched a bit in his chair and brought the receiver to his other ear to hold it with his shoulder.
“What are you working on, anyways? Still that paperwork?” he asked, trying to decide which card to play next.
Some rustling of paper could be heard on the other end.
“What do you think?” Miles muttered, his attention clearly elsewhere.
I think I better leave it at that if I don’t want to hear all about how it’s apparently my fault.
“Speaking of papers,” Phoenix continued, “what brilliant advice did Larry have for you this time?” He chuckled a bit and sat back in his chair.
The line went silent again.
Phoenix frowned.
Second time in two minutes. Looks like I really chose the wrong day to be bored out of my mind.
“Hey, you still there?”
Miles sighed. “Look, Wright, I have work to do…”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Phoenix complained.
There was a pause.
“…Nothing worth mentioning.”
Phoenix grinned. “So you actually looked at it? What did it say?”
“Wright…”
“I’m pretty sure it didn’t say my name, Edgeworth,” Phoenix cut in. “Larry doesn’t love me that much.”
“…I’m hanging up,” Miles said weakly.
“Oh, come on, Edgeworth,” Phoenix whined. “I promise I’ll let you work after.”
Miles sighed in frustration. “Why does it matter so much what that stupid thing said?”
Phoenix shrugged. “Because it’s funny,” he replied simply.
“To you, maybe.”
Phoenix rolled his eyes. “Look, you’re just wasting time, here. I’m not hanging up until you tell me.” He cracked his knuckles and took the receiver in his hand to switch ears again. “Besides, I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of it. It’s just a ‘stupid thing’ as you so eloquently put it.”
“I’m not making a big deal out of anything, Wright,” Miles replied sharply. “I just don’t have any time to waste discussing pointless things with you.”
Not a big deal my ass. You’re avoiding the question like I do burger stalls when I’m with Maya.
“But you have time to argue with me, apparently.”
“Fine.” Miles paused. “He was mocking my lack of romantic knowledge. Satisfied?”
Phoenix laughed. “That’s it? Why so secretive, then?”
“You said you’d let me work if I answered your stupid question,” Miles muttered.
“Well, yeah, but…” Phoenix frowned. “Why would Larry make fun of you on paper when he can do it in person? Sounds like too much effort for him. Plus he said it was important when he gave it to me.”
“Wright, it’s Larry we’re talking about. Nothing he does ever makes sense.”
Phoenix chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
There’s no point in insisting, I suppose.
There was a noise on the other end of the line which Phoenix guessed was of a drawer being slammed shut.
“Is that all you called for?”
“Well…” Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. “To be honest, I can’t even remember why I called you.” He took a look around the office, his eyes falling on the bits of shredded paper on the floor, then on the mess of ink on the desk that still needed proper cleaning up. “I guess I was bored.”
Make that so bored I would have made Larry look civilised in comparison.
“Don’t you have work to do?” Miles asked sceptically.
If by work you mean giving advice to psychos, then no.
“Yeah, but I was… taking a break,” Phoenix replied cautiously.
Miles snorted. “Sure you were.”
“Hey! Why do you always assume I do nothing all day?” Phoenix protested, failing to sound offended.
“I’m not assuming anything, Wright. I’m just stating the truth.”
Phoenix shook his head, but couldn’t fight down a smile.
Well, at least he seems in a better mood now.
He rolled his chair back a bit and put his feet up on the desk, sprawling further back in his seat.
Now, where was I?
He spotted a roll of masking tape on the corner of the desk and nudged it with his foot. Stretching a bit so he could reach behind it, he brought it closer to himself and pushed it up around the end of his shoe with his other foot.
I wonder if I can still do this.
Lifting his foot up, he took a few test swings, before throwing the roll in the air towards himself. He tried to catch it, but to his dismay, he took it right between the eyes and ended up dropping the receiver instead.
“Ouch! Damn it!”
Phoenix rubbed his forehead and winced, damning his stupidity, before bending down to retrieve the receiver on the floor.
“Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly.
“…Do I want to know?”
I don’t know, but I certainly don’t want you to.
Phoenix laughed nervously. “Err… I just sorta got a cramp in my hand from, err…” He paused.
Good job, Phoenix, that sounded so much better!
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, you know what, just forget it.”
The door suddenly opened and Maya appeared from behind it.
“Nick! I’m hungry!” she shouted, before stopping to look around the office, her eyes widening. “What the hell happened in here?”
“Maya, can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Phoenix scolded, hastily taking his feet off the desk.
Maya frowned. “You’re on the phone…? But I thought you asked me to take the calls.” She paused. “Wait… it didn’t even ring.”
Oops, busted.
“Well, err… it’s a funny story, actually.” Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought there might be a problem with the phone, so I picked it up to see if it was working right, and just happened to answer a call by accident.” He chuckled nervously. “Yeah.”
Maya raised an eyebrow. “Whatever, Nick.” She shook her head and pointed to the clock. “It’s already past eleven and I’m starving!” She held out a hand and looked at him expectantly.
Phoenix sighed. “Maya…”
Maya didn’t move.
I guess it can’t be helped…
He took out a few notes and handed them to her. “There. Now, will you please leave me alone? I’m busy.”
Maya rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” She started walking towards the exit, before turning around to look at him. “Have fun talking to your girlfriend.”
Phoenix froze. “…What?”
Maya grinned. “Bye, Nick!”
“W-wait!” Phoenix went to get up from his chair, but stopped when Maya slammed the door behind her. “That’s not…” He trailed off.
Why would she think something like that?
“So, not even taking your phone calls, now? You’re breaking records, Wright.”
“Shut up, Edgeworth.” Phoenix sighed and brought his attention back to his computer, realising he still hadn’t finished his game of Hearts.
One more round, and it’s a perfect win!
He smiled to himself as he gave away the cards he didn’t need. It left him with a nearly perfect hand - no cards over ten, and only two suits.
This is gonna be so easy.
He played the first few turns, getting rid of his highest cards. He ended up getting all the cards on the fifth turn or so - he didn’t really keep count - but none of them were worth any points, so no problem there. Now, all that was left was to choose the right card to start the next turn. He decided on the five of clubs.
“Wright, there’s something I--”
“Fuck off, Edgeworth! I don’t want your fucking heart!”
The line went silent for a moment. “…Excuse me?”
Phoenix blinked, realising what he’d just said. He chuckled. “Oops, sorry… It’s just, I was playing Hearts and you’ve just cost me a perfect game. Well, the ‘you’ in the game, that is.”
There was another pause. “I see…”
Phoenix cleared his throat. “So, yeah, uh… What were you saying?”
“…I forget. It probably wasn’t important.”
Phoenix shrugged. “If you say so.” He stretched a bit in his chair and looked up at the clock on the wall. Almost eleven thirty. He realized he was getting hungry.
I should have asked Maya to bring me back something…
He sighed.
“What is it?”
“I’m starving.”
There was a pause.
“And you’re telling me… why?” Miles replied dryly.
“Hey, you just asked me!” Phoenix retorted.
Miles sighed. “My bad. But what am I supposed to do about it? It’s not my fault you can’t afford breakfast.”
“H-hey! I did eat breakfast this morning, I’ll have you know,” Phoenix replied defensively.
Okay, I didn’t, but he doesn’t need to know that.
He turned his attention back to the computer screen and pouted at it, before closing the game that had just been ruined for him.
You owe me for this, Edgeworth.
Phoenix blinked.
Wait…
“Actually,” he started again, “you could do something about it.”
“…I dread to ask.”
“I mean, you do owe me for ruining my perfect game, and--”
“Wright.”
Phoenix snickered. “I knew you’d agree.”
Miles snorted. “Very amusing. But you do realise I don’t actually owe you anything, right?”
“Well, you did ruin my game!” Phoenix complained, trying to sound as serious as possible.
“I hardly think I should be held responsible for you thinking characters in a computer game are real.”
Phoenix laughed. “Well, even so, I wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t been distracting me! How do you expect me to focus on my game if you keep talking to me on the phone? You know guys can’t multitask!”
“First of all, Wright, you’re the one who called me. Second of all, speak for yourself. I can multitask just fine.”
Phoenix grinned. “Oh, really? That’s not what you said last night.”
Miles sighed. “For Christ’s sake…”
Oh, you’re so easy, Edgeworth.
“Okay, let’s put it this way.” Phoenix cleared his throat. “I’m willing to forget about last night if you’ll buy me lunch. You wouldn’t want your boyfriend starving to death, would you?”
“Starve all you want, I have work to do,” Miles replied sharply.
Oh well, it was worth a try.
“And what’s your excuse for after your work’s done?” Phoenix asked.
“I’m afraid you’ll have died of starvation by then.”
Phoenix smiled. “I’ll survive. But I meant we could go out for a drink instead or something.”
There was silence on the other end until Miles let out a sigh. “Where?”
Phoenix blinked. “Is that a yes?”
“Don’t wait for me to change my mind.”
“Alright, alright…” Phoenix paused. “How about… The Cue?”
“Fine,” Miles replied promptly, obviously not in the mood to argue. “I’ll meet you there at nine thirty.”
Phoenix raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be working that late?”
“I told you I’m busy, Wright.”
I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised…
“Alright then, I’ll see you tonight.”
Phoenix hung up and sat back in his chair. He smiled to himself. Convincing Edgeworth was getting way too easy. It was as if he knew exactly what to say, and how Edgeworth would react. Perhaps he was really starting to know him better?
I can’t believe I just talked him into going out for drinks.
Phoenix stretched and cracked his knuckles, before looking down at the desk in front of him.
Oh, right… I still have to clean this up…
He glanced up at the container on top of the bookshelf, then back down at the bits of paper on the floor.
Well, this is gonna be a fun afternoon…
---
Click for Part Two