Bleach Fanfic: Not A Communication Problem
Author Notes: Hello, welcome to my third piece of ShuuheixKira. The idea came to me when I was browsing and accidentally stumbled upon a very helpful website. I know it has been such a long time since I have writen anything for ShuuheiKira, but I was reread Silver Harmony’s ‘Breathing With Him In Time’ and found myself in love with this pairing once more. They are just too adorable to resist! XP
I’ve just finished an angst piece of ShikaNeji from Naruto, and I think the angst and dark theme still hang inside me, so I was faced a writer’s block as to how to pour the entire humor flavor in this story. Hopefully, I still managed to make a decent fic for Shuuhei x Kira pairing, but tell me what you think!
Dedication: To Silver Harmony, the very own author who showed me the way of ShuuheiKira. This one is for you, hope you like it!
Beta: winteraconite a.k.a. Antharyn thank you so much! I owe you a lot!!!
Title: Not a communication problem
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Bleach and its characters belong to Kubotite.
Warning: Shounen-ai, maybe some OOC-ness.
“Psst! Shuuhei!” A whisper calling out for him made Hiisagi Shuuhei look up from a report he was currently reading. There, on his window, was Abarai Renji, the Sixth Division vice-captain, holding a suspicious-looking-book.
“What is it Abarai?” Shuuhei scowled. He hated it when someone interrupted in his work, especially if the report he was working on was due to three hours ago and, therefore, already late. So what the hell Abarai Renji was doing here, conveniently perched on his windowsill was beyond his understanding.
“Tche. What’s with the attitude, huh? Got a stick shove up your ass or somethin’?”
If possible, Shuuhei’s scowl went deeper. But, considering his friend was actually a fellow vice-captain, Shuuhei took a deep breath and tried to sound civil, “Can I help you?”
“I got the book, man.” Renji was trying - but failing, obviously- to keep the smug look off his face.
“….What book?”
“…that book.”
“What book?”
“The one Ichigo wanted ya to have! He said that the last time he was here, right? Don’t tell me ya forgot that one already!”
Oh. Why, yes, he did forget that one. Hell, how could he remember, anyway? Kurosaki had popped up all of sudden in his office, saying something like ‘I know you have some communication problems with Kira’ line, and abruptly disappeared without any further explanation. Of course he didn’t remember, it was just a small, little, minute unusual occurrence in Shuuhei’s daily life, compared to all the havoc went through Seireitei every day.
Not bothering to wait for an answer from the ninth division’s vice captain, Renji continued, “Anyway, here it is.” He placed the book on Shuuhei’s desk while the other man eyed it cautiously; as if afraid the book was somehow contained secret information or something.
Oh well, maybe he was just too paranoid, Shuuhei decided, this was Ichigo for God’s sake. Surely he wouldn’t do anything to harm Shuuhei in any way, right? Come on, it was just a book!
“Well, my job’s done. See ya!” And with that, the Zabimaru wielder was gone, leaving Shuuhei with all his reports and of course- the book.
Shuuhei shook his head a little in exasperation before focusing back on the report. Hell, he still had so much work to do, he even was not sure this report could be finished today, let alone reading some unknown book. The book could wait, Shuuhei decided.
After what seemed like hours, the report was at last finished. He quickly called in a messenger to send it. Shuuhei stretched. God,that was one damn long report. Taking a deep breath, he knew he should rest for a moment but his gaze fell onto the book that Renji gave him.
It lay innocently on his desk, the offensively bright cover with all those colors seemed to give an aura that said, ‘Come on, open me, open me! I can help and mend all your relationships!’, which Shuuhei clearly did not appreciate. Hell, the colors alone were enough to make him want to throw the book all the way through Seireitei, let alone open and read it. Besides, it wasn’t like he had communication problems with Kira anyway. The two of them were completely fine, and even if they had any problem, they would talk about it. Maturely.
And no, the one little incident where Kira went stomping away, slamming the door right to Shuuhei’s face a week ago was NOT due to a communication problem.
Oh, and when the blonde guy popped up yesterday to his office and yelled at Shuuhei in front of the whole ninth division certainly cannot be included as a communication problem.
…….And it was definitely not a communication problem at all when a plate came zooming over his head, barely missing him by an inch this morning.
All those times, they were NOT because of communication problems.
Shuuhei refused to acknowledge that their recent still-not-resolved argument they were having right now was because of a communication problem.
Right then, a messenger showed up and gave him a small box, saying it was a gift from Kira, which Shuuhei gratefully accepted.
See? If things were not fine between them, Kira wouldn’t give him any gift, right? Communication problem? Ha!
The vice-captain of ninth division immediately cut open the rope that bound the gift. Smiling to himself, he imagined all the possibilities of what could have been inside. Maybe it was a new robe (he knew Kira always had a good taste in fashion), or maybe it was the special edition of Kama-sutra! (Hah, he knew Kira was a pervert).
The moment he opened the box, however, all delicious images of Kira and him having a hot sex rapidly vanished into thin air.
It was a hex doll.
It was a hex doll, brilliantly covered in blood, with a dagger conveniently stabbed into its head.
With a charming little ‘You’re so dead’ note attached to it.
…..Hmm, now that Shuuhei thought about it, maybe he did have a communication problem.
His gaze fell to the book which still lay harmlessly on his desk, winking at him and Shuuhei crossed the room in an instant, snatching the book up and immediately opening it.
You have a relationship problem? Or maybe just want to give your lover a special gift?
Shuuhei gagged. Oh Kami, this book was really sentimental.
Leave it to us! We will help you to understand an enigmatic and charming world of beauty, where flowers can say so much more than you do!
Flowers are more competent in communication than he is? Hah!
Nevertheless, Shuuhei turned the next page.
Before we get to explanations about how to grow and take care of flowers, first you must understand that flowers have a language of their own. Every sentiment is expressed in one form or another by these delicate blooms. Remember, a gift of flowers for a special someone will always create its own personal meaning, too.
Hmm, Shuuhei can live with that. If sending Kira some flowers would mend their argument right now, then why not? Feeling a little bit excited, he turned the next page and quickly scanned it.
Arbutus - Thee only Do I Love
Shuuhei frowned. Couldn’t they just write a simple ‘I love you’? What’s with the language anyway? It wasn’t that he didn’t understand it, hey Shuuhei was a smart man, you know?
Aster - Symbol of Love, Daintiness
Hey, this one was not so bad. Kira was certainly dainty and delicate and pretty, not to mention the fact that he was so adorable. But something was just not right, though Shuuhei couldn’t place what.
Gardenia - You're Lovely, Secret Love
Jumping from A to G? This book wasn’t in alphabetical order, then. Well, Shuuhei wasn’t one that likes to complain anyway, so he just had to deal with it.
Rose (Red) - Love, I Love You
Too standard. Shuuhei had seen thousands of couples giving each other red roses. No, Kira wasn’t the same with them. He needed something special.
Poppy (Yellow) - Wealth, Success
Hmmm, this one was more like Kuchiki-taichou than Kira.
Carnation (Stripped) - No, Refusal, Sorry I Can't Be With You.
Hey, maybe this one was for breaking-up-couple. Definitely not him and Kira.
Geranium - Stupidity, Folly
Stupid? Folly? Hell, a drunken Kira was smarter than Shuuhei sometimes.
Azalea - Fragile Passion, Chinese Symbol of Womanhood
Woman? No, Kira would have Shuuhei sleeping on the couch without any sex for a year if he called him a woman. And Kira is definitely NOT fragile; Shuuhei had proved it himself, every night.
Orange Mock - Deceit
Too Ichimaru-taichou.
Begonia - Beware
Ooohh, let’s send this one to Aizen-taichou. Shuuhei had always wanted to give that ex-captain a little good old smack in the head.
Nasturtium - Conquest, Victory in Battle
Yeah, right. This one was far more appropriate for Kenpachi, really.
Monkshood - Beware, A Deadly Foe is Near
Hey, should’ve sent this one to Yamamoto-taichou before the whole Aizen’s treachery occurred.
Spider Flower - Elope with Me
What the hell??
Shuuhei turned yet another page, his scowl deepening by each new page before at last, his face brightened. Aahh, this one was perfect for Kira!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A knock on his door made Izuru Kira look up from the map he was working on.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Izuru-fukutaichou, a gift from Hiisagi-fukutaichou!”
Kira’s eyes narrowed as he bade the messenger to come in. What was it now? A payback gift for the hex doll or something? Hell, bring it on! If Shuuhei thought Kira was afraid of him, he was wrong, so wrong.
Kira’s mind was loaded with a thousand possibilities of what Shuuhei had given him, therefore, his jaw dropped when he saw the huge bouquet of white lilies
The vice captain of third division eyed the bouquet -which was placed conveniently in front of him by the messenger- with suspicion.
Now wait a minute, what the hell was Shuuhei doing anyway? Giving him flowers? He wasn’t some woman, damn it! Or maybe there was a poisonous flower among them! Kira had to be extra careful, then.
His sharp eyes caught a glimpse of a note, neatly hidden inside the bouquet. He reached for a pair of chopstick inside his drawers, refusing to be in direct contact with all the suspicious flowers, and tried with extra caution to pick the said note.
When he had succeeded, Kira put the note on his desk and read it.
“To my Lovely Kira,
I know that I am not the best when it comes to expressing what I feel, but even if I could, thousand words cannot describe what I feel about you right now. I can only hope for you to understand what I want to tell you through these flowers.
Yours forever,
Shuuhei”
Immediately, he bolted and ran to ninth division building. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door of Shuuhei’s office and found himself face to face with his lover.
“’It’s heavenly to be with you?’ I didn’t know you are such a sap, Hisagi-san,” Kira said as he made his way to Shuuhei.
“Well, it’s perfect for you, that’s exactly what I feel about us.” Shuuhei replied sheepishly.
“Hn.”
Without any other explanation, the third division vice captain drew the other closer and Shuuhei naturally wrapped his arms around Kira, hugging him close.
“By the way, the feelings mutual,” mumbled Kira.
Hearing that, Shuuhei smirked and placed a kiss on top of Kira’s head. Him? Shuuhei? Had a communication problem with his boyfriend? Ha!
~The End~
Author Notes: Well, that’s it for now, guys! Is it weird? Is it an-intended-humor-but-not-humorous-enough kind of fic? I definitely need to regain my confidence that I am still capable of making a humor story. *sigh* Making an angst piece can really corrupt your humorous soul, apparently, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, kindly leave a comment to let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading this story until the end! ~wave a banner of Shuuhei x Kira~
I’ve just finished an angst piece of ShikaNeji from Naruto, and I think the angst and dark theme still hang inside me, so I was faced a writer’s block as to how to pour the entire humor flavor in this story. Hopefully, I still managed to make a decent fic for Shuuhei x Kira pairing, but tell me what you think!
Dedication: To Silver Harmony, the very own author who showed me the way of ShuuheiKira. This one is for you, hope you like it!
Beta: winteraconite a.k.a. Antharyn thank you so much! I owe you a lot!!!
Title: Not a communication problem
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Bleach and its characters belong to Kubotite.
Warning: Shounen-ai, maybe some OOC-ness.
“Psst! Shuuhei!” A whisper calling out for him made Hiisagi Shuuhei look up from a report he was currently reading. There, on his window, was Abarai Renji, the Sixth Division vice-captain, holding a suspicious-looking-book.
“What is it Abarai?” Shuuhei scowled. He hated it when someone interrupted in his work, especially if the report he was working on was due to three hours ago and, therefore, already late. So what the hell Abarai Renji was doing here, conveniently perched on his windowsill was beyond his understanding.
“Tche. What’s with the attitude, huh? Got a stick shove up your ass or somethin’?”
If possible, Shuuhei’s scowl went deeper. But, considering his friend was actually a fellow vice-captain, Shuuhei took a deep breath and tried to sound civil, “Can I help you?”
“I got the book, man.” Renji was trying - but failing, obviously- to keep the smug look off his face.
“….What book?”
“…that book.”
“What book?”
“The one Ichigo wanted ya to have! He said that the last time he was here, right? Don’t tell me ya forgot that one already!”
Oh. Why, yes, he did forget that one. Hell, how could he remember, anyway? Kurosaki had popped up all of sudden in his office, saying something like ‘I know you have some communication problems with Kira’ line, and abruptly disappeared without any further explanation. Of course he didn’t remember, it was just a small, little, minute unusual occurrence in Shuuhei’s daily life, compared to all the havoc went through Seireitei every day.
Not bothering to wait for an answer from the ninth division’s vice captain, Renji continued, “Anyway, here it is.” He placed the book on Shuuhei’s desk while the other man eyed it cautiously; as if afraid the book was somehow contained secret information or something.
Oh well, maybe he was just too paranoid, Shuuhei decided, this was Ichigo for God’s sake. Surely he wouldn’t do anything to harm Shuuhei in any way, right? Come on, it was just a book!
“Well, my job’s done. See ya!” And with that, the Zabimaru wielder was gone, leaving Shuuhei with all his reports and of course- the book.
Shuuhei shook his head a little in exasperation before focusing back on the report. Hell, he still had so much work to do, he even was not sure this report could be finished today, let alone reading some unknown book. The book could wait, Shuuhei decided.
After what seemed like hours, the report was at last finished. He quickly called in a messenger to send it. Shuuhei stretched. God,that was one damn long report. Taking a deep breath, he knew he should rest for a moment but his gaze fell onto the book that Renji gave him.
It lay innocently on his desk, the offensively bright cover with all those colors seemed to give an aura that said, ‘Come on, open me, open me! I can help and mend all your relationships!’, which Shuuhei clearly did not appreciate. Hell, the colors alone were enough to make him want to throw the book all the way through Seireitei, let alone open and read it. Besides, it wasn’t like he had communication problems with Kira anyway. The two of them were completely fine, and even if they had any problem, they would talk about it. Maturely.
And no, the one little incident where Kira went stomping away, slamming the door right to Shuuhei’s face a week ago was NOT due to a communication problem.
Oh, and when the blonde guy popped up yesterday to his office and yelled at Shuuhei in front of the whole ninth division certainly cannot be included as a communication problem.
…….And it was definitely not a communication problem at all when a plate came zooming over his head, barely missing him by an inch this morning.
All those times, they were NOT because of communication problems.
Shuuhei refused to acknowledge that their recent still-not-resolved argument they were having right now was because of a communication problem.
Right then, a messenger showed up and gave him a small box, saying it was a gift from Kira, which Shuuhei gratefully accepted.
See? If things were not fine between them, Kira wouldn’t give him any gift, right? Communication problem? Ha!
The vice-captain of ninth division immediately cut open the rope that bound the gift. Smiling to himself, he imagined all the possibilities of what could have been inside. Maybe it was a new robe (he knew Kira always had a good taste in fashion), or maybe it was the special edition of Kama-sutra! (Hah, he knew Kira was a pervert).
The moment he opened the box, however, all delicious images of Kira and him having a hot sex rapidly vanished into thin air.
It was a hex doll.
It was a hex doll, brilliantly covered in blood, with a dagger conveniently stabbed into its head.
With a charming little ‘You’re so dead’ note attached to it.
…..Hmm, now that Shuuhei thought about it, maybe he did have a communication problem.
His gaze fell to the book which still lay harmlessly on his desk, winking at him and Shuuhei crossed the room in an instant, snatching the book up and immediately opening it.
You have a relationship problem? Or maybe just want to give your lover a special gift?
Shuuhei gagged. Oh Kami, this book was really sentimental.
Leave it to us! We will help you to understand an enigmatic and charming world of beauty, where flowers can say so much more than you do!
Flowers are more competent in communication than he is? Hah!
Nevertheless, Shuuhei turned the next page.
Before we get to explanations about how to grow and take care of flowers, first you must understand that flowers have a language of their own. Every sentiment is expressed in one form or another by these delicate blooms. Remember, a gift of flowers for a special someone will always create its own personal meaning, too.
Hmm, Shuuhei can live with that. If sending Kira some flowers would mend their argument right now, then why not? Feeling a little bit excited, he turned the next page and quickly scanned it.
Arbutus - Thee only Do I Love
Shuuhei frowned. Couldn’t they just write a simple ‘I love you’? What’s with the language anyway? It wasn’t that he didn’t understand it, hey Shuuhei was a smart man, you know?
Aster - Symbol of Love, Daintiness
Hey, this one was not so bad. Kira was certainly dainty and delicate and pretty, not to mention the fact that he was so adorable. But something was just not right, though Shuuhei couldn’t place what.
Gardenia - You're Lovely, Secret Love
Jumping from A to G? This book wasn’t in alphabetical order, then. Well, Shuuhei wasn’t one that likes to complain anyway, so he just had to deal with it.
Rose (Red) - Love, I Love You
Too standard. Shuuhei had seen thousands of couples giving each other red roses. No, Kira wasn’t the same with them. He needed something special.
Poppy (Yellow) - Wealth, Success
Hmmm, this one was more like Kuchiki-taichou than Kira.
Carnation (Stripped) - No, Refusal, Sorry I Can't Be With You.
Hey, maybe this one was for breaking-up-couple. Definitely not him and Kira.
Geranium - Stupidity, Folly
Stupid? Folly? Hell, a drunken Kira was smarter than Shuuhei sometimes.
Azalea - Fragile Passion, Chinese Symbol of Womanhood
Woman? No, Kira would have Shuuhei sleeping on the couch without any sex for a year if he called him a woman. And Kira is definitely NOT fragile; Shuuhei had proved it himself, every night.
Orange Mock - Deceit
Too Ichimaru-taichou.
Begonia - Beware
Ooohh, let’s send this one to Aizen-taichou. Shuuhei had always wanted to give that ex-captain a little good old smack in the head.
Nasturtium - Conquest, Victory in Battle
Yeah, right. This one was far more appropriate for Kenpachi, really.
Monkshood - Beware, A Deadly Foe is Near
Hey, should’ve sent this one to Yamamoto-taichou before the whole Aizen’s treachery occurred.
Spider Flower - Elope with Me
What the hell??
Shuuhei turned yet another page, his scowl deepening by each new page before at last, his face brightened. Aahh, this one was perfect for Kira!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
A knock on his door made Izuru Kira look up from the map he was working on.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Izuru-fukutaichou, a gift from Hiisagi-fukutaichou!”
Kira’s eyes narrowed as he bade the messenger to come in. What was it now? A payback gift for the hex doll or something? Hell, bring it on! If Shuuhei thought Kira was afraid of him, he was wrong, so wrong.
Kira’s mind was loaded with a thousand possibilities of what Shuuhei had given him, therefore, his jaw dropped when he saw the huge bouquet of white lilies
The vice captain of third division eyed the bouquet -which was placed conveniently in front of him by the messenger- with suspicion.
Now wait a minute, what the hell was Shuuhei doing anyway? Giving him flowers? He wasn’t some woman, damn it! Or maybe there was a poisonous flower among them! Kira had to be extra careful, then.
His sharp eyes caught a glimpse of a note, neatly hidden inside the bouquet. He reached for a pair of chopstick inside his drawers, refusing to be in direct contact with all the suspicious flowers, and tried with extra caution to pick the said note.
When he had succeeded, Kira put the note on his desk and read it.
“To my Lovely Kira,
I know that I am not the best when it comes to expressing what I feel, but even if I could, thousand words cannot describe what I feel about you right now. I can only hope for you to understand what I want to tell you through these flowers.
Yours forever,
Shuuhei”
Immediately, he bolted and ran to ninth division building. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door of Shuuhei’s office and found himself face to face with his lover.
“’It’s heavenly to be with you?’ I didn’t know you are such a sap, Hisagi-san,” Kira said as he made his way to Shuuhei.
“Well, it’s perfect for you, that’s exactly what I feel about us.” Shuuhei replied sheepishly.
“Hn.”
Without any other explanation, the third division vice captain drew the other closer and Shuuhei naturally wrapped his arms around Kira, hugging him close.
“By the way, the feelings mutual,” mumbled Kira.
Hearing that, Shuuhei smirked and placed a kiss on top of Kira’s head. Him? Shuuhei? Had a communication problem with his boyfriend? Ha!
~The End~
Author Notes: Well, that’s it for now, guys! Is it weird? Is it an-intended-humor-but-not-humorous-enough kind of fic? I definitely need to regain my confidence that I am still capable of making a humor story. *sigh* Making an angst piece can really corrupt your humorous soul, apparently, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, kindly leave a comment to let me know what you think. Thank you so much for reading this story until the end! ~wave a banner of Shuuhei x Kira~