The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification: ● Personality - The app team would like to see a more detailed update reflecting a in-depth spectrum of traits, sourcing references and citing evidence to back up statements. ● Third-Person Sample - Mods would like to be able to read Terezi interacting with Hogwarts as a setting to better realise her potential in the game.
Please reply as a comment to this comment so that the mods can see the changes made to your app. Thank you!
1/3; it turned out too long for just one commentseeingeyespitOctober 15 2011, 01:34:07 UTC
Personality:Terezi is a strategist, preferring to guide others from behind the scenes rather than jump into action herself. In her FLARP (extreme LARP) days she used verbal cunning and trickery rather than physical action to bring groups of opposing players to their knees and later, as the trolls prepared to enter their SGRUB session, they split into competitive teams; Terezi was poised to be the leader of one team but acceded to Karkat without even arguing when he demanded to be leader instead. She then proceeded to organize missions and guide her teammates through various game tasks anyway. She also pulled some strings behind the kids' session. While she was most involved with Dave, giving him guidance through several parts of the game, she also explained quite a bit of game terminology to Rose and provided John with a detailed map of his planet
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2/3; personality cont. seeingeyespitOctober 15 2011, 01:35:13 UTC
Terezi has a lot of ambition, but she is also good at keeping her goals and motivations fluid. One of the first things we learn about Terezi in canon is that she has a passion for justice and aspires to be a legislacerator, which is the troll equivalent of a detective, prosecutor and judge rolled into one. From a young age she worked toward that eventual goal by orchestrating the demise of wicked players she found in FLARP groups; she also studied Alternian law and made a practice of acting out complex court drama scenarios in her free time to practice her knowledge of the law, as can be seen in her character introduction when she acts out a trial with her stuffed toys. When the trolls entered the world of SGRUB she shifted her focus to completing the game, involving herself in political intrigue and unlocking the mysteries of her planet. After the trolls were forced to hide in the Veil, Terezi once again shifted her focus to finding a way to help the kids avoid dooming their session and finding a way to defeat Jack Noir, their
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Third Person Sample:Terezi made her way through the dungeon hallways, cane emitting faint taps ahead of her as she swept her path. The lighting was dim enough and the corridor drab enough that her sense of smell wasn't doing her much good in terms of sight; that was why she owned the cane, though, and while it wasn't terribly exciting Hogwarts' halls did have more definition than the drab gray walls of the lab in the Veil back home. Besides, she was beginning to get the hang of the castle layout, or at least the parts that didn't randomly shift themselves around
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REVISIONS
The mods feel that though your app is strong, some adjustments need to be made. Please address the following points required for clarification:
● Personality - The app team would like to see a more detailed update reflecting a in-depth spectrum of traits, sourcing references and citing evidence to back up statements.
● Third-Person Sample - Mods would like to be able to read Terezi interacting with Hogwarts as a setting to better realise her potential in the game.
Please reply as a comment to this comment so that the mods can see the changes made to your app. Thank you!
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