Comments | seasonal_spuffy: 11 cinquain poems

thenewbuzwuzz in seasonal_spuffy

11 cinquain poems

May 25, 2018 23:07

Title: 11 cinquain poems
Author: thenewbuzwuzz
Season: 2 and 5-7, but mostly 6
Rating: G, I think
Spike/Other warning: temporary Spike/Drusilla.
A/N: This post brought to you by the BtVS cinquains of dawnofme, though I tried (vaguely) for a different variation of the form.
OffYourBird kindly helped me make a couple of these less cryptic. <3 ( Read more... )

era: btvs s2, era: btvs s6, era: btvs s5, rating: other, form: poetry, creator: thenewbuzwuzz, era: btvs s7

Comments 24

relurker May 28 2018, 11:46:28 UTC

These are superb, one better than the other. The one for 'Wake up already. Never gonna happen!', was heartbreaking, one can see that the budding hope is already twarted.
The other one that really got to me is the one you wrote for 'It's nice to watch you be happy.'.
Maybe I'm in a mornful mood... but I liked the humorous ones, too!

thenewbuzwuzz May 28 2018, 18:51:41 UTC

Thank you so much! <3 This comment must have been the loveliest thing that happened to me today.

To be fair, most of these are sad. (So, obviously, I don't disapprove of mournful moods. :D)

sandy_s May 30 2018, 13:46:37 UTC

Lovely work. I especially love the third to last one...the line about his heart still being in the way and not having a clear shot. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Oh, my heart.

thenewbuzwuzz May 30 2018, 14:10:14 UTC

Thank you very much! <3

I considered completely reworking that one, because talking about hearts seemed really standard and unsubtle. I'm glad to hear leaving it alone was a good call. :)

sandy_s May 30 2018, 14:19:46 UTC

Sometimes unsubtle is still breathtaking. (And I didn't think it was too concrete...it was just enough of a twist to really work!)

thenewbuzwuzz May 30 2018, 14:36:53 UTC

:)) thanks! Yes, the twist pretty much saved it from the outtake pile.

From OffYourBird :) anonymous May 30 2018, 15:23:41 UTC

#1: I love the "to be hers" here - such a great connect to the church scene in S7. Spike is *always* doing what he must for the woman he loves. On top of that, you include this delicious word: courting. Both reminiscent of medieval knights and old fashioned gallantry as well as romance. Even then, he's wooing Buffy ( ... )

RE: From OffYourBird :) thenewbuzwuzz May 30 2018, 16:58:51 UTC

note for future buzwuzz: past buzwuzz has responded to your generous friend on tumblr

the_wiggins June 4 2018, 05:28:39 UTC

So good! My favorite was this one:

He stole
glances, sweaters,
and fire that only
men should feel, sacrifice mocking
the gods.

Oh, my god. I completely agree with OffYourBird's summation that "THERE'S SO MUCH HERE!" You just pack so much of that Season 5 romance and angst into so few words. I love the contrast between the metaphorical (stealing glances) and the literal (stealing sweaters). And that Prometheus metaphor was so interesting! Spike is mocking the gods, like Prometheus, yet the fire that he's stealing isn't divine, it's something that "only men should feel". Meaning the fire he's stealing is the human capacity for noble, self-sacrificing love. At least, that's how I interpret it. Beautiful!

And thanks for the shout out, BTW! That was an unexpected surprise. Not sure exactly what I said that you found helpful, but I'm glad you did. I try to leave the kinds of comments that I'd want on my own work.

thenewbuzwuzz June 4 2018, 16:22:44 UTC

Thank you, so glad you enjoyed! <3

OMG, you got my Prometheus reference! You *liked* my Prometheus reference! I'm so happy I literally squeed. :D

"Not sure exactly what I said that you found helpful, but I'm glad you did. I try to leave the kinds of comments that I'd want on my own work." It was something about a sentence structure issue that threw you out of a limerick. Your kind of comments happen to be a kind that I love to receive.

thenewbuzwuzz June 4 2018, 16:33:57 UTC

(cont'd) I've heard that some authors don't like concrit on finished work, so I wanted to make super clear that I do appreciate it (not that I'd want comments to be nothing but criticism; I'm not that much in love with pain). Thank you again for your continuing thoughtful and kind feedback. <3

Re: Prometheus, in addition to the main meanings that you mentioned, I got a kick out of the coincidence that Prometheus once mocked the gods in a way that was directly related to sacrifices (the story where he divided a dead animal in 2 parts and fooled the gods into saying they'd always like to receive the part with no meat).

the_wiggins June 5 2018, 23:28:40 UTC

Good to know I wasn't totally off with the Prometheus thing! I figured it had to be intentional. And glad to have made you squee! It does always feel nice when someone gets the reference you're trying to make!

I didn't know that about the animal sacrifices part of the Prometheus myth. I guess I need to brush up on my mythology. I used to be really into that stuff in my early teens.

And re: the concrit thing, I'm still working out when to give it and when not to. Personally, I always welcome it because even if I'm not gonna revise the story anymore, I can still learn and grow as a writer. But I've learned that feelings and motives around the issue vary widely, which is totally legit. And of course, my criticism could also be totally off base, or based on something that's completely personal to me! Which is why when I do mention something critical I usually try to make it clear that this is just how I felt. And I definitely try not to ever leave comments that are purely negative, because that's really not helpful to anyone and is ( ... )

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