we chose each other | s.coups/woozi [4/?]
title: we chose each other [chapter four]
pairing: s.coups/woozi
genre: angst, romance, friendship
rating: m
warnings: in depth interaction with suicide, depression, homophobia and related issues, bullying, firearms, manipulation, smoking, language, implied sexual situations
wordcount: 3.3k
summary: au. Seungcheol passes the days trying to escape his past and find meaning in the future. Jihoon goes through each day trying to find a reason to live for himself, and not just exist pretending for others. Little do they know, a chance encounter gives them both what they’re searching for, and something more.
[ series tag]
chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four
a/n: even i'm struggling with how slow the fic moves at the rate im releasing chapters lol. it gets more exciting from here, but maybe we'll get another update this week if i get a chance OuO mebbe.
still @ work?
yep. I might be able to come tomorrow though
Somehow, they begin to pass the days like that, the two of them texting when Jihoon works late, unable to go to Healing to see Seungcheol. Seungcheol also sounds horrified when Jihoon says he’s at the office on a Saturday. Jihoon holds back the comment that he doesn’t have anything else to do, anywhere else to be, so why not? He can actually get things done at the office, and it’s less suffocating than home, unless Chan is home. He’s on a school trip that weekend though, so Jihoon holes himself up in his office with his work and his class work and pretends that’s enough for him.
He goes to Healing on Sunday night, but it’s too busy for Seungcheol to be able to talk to him for long. Jihoon still relishes the smiles and the witty banter they have over the bar whenever Seungcheol is free.
A new week brings a new set of deadlines and reports to do and Jihoon doesn’t leave the office for three days, sleeping on the little couch in his office. His assistant, Raina, forces him into his car to go home on the third day when she finds out.
Jihoon sleeps restlessly, but it helps anyway, and he wakes up to several messages from Seungcheol, because he didn’t respond to any of his texts the night before. Jihoon smiles and types out a reply that he’s fine as he emerges from his room, nearly bumping into his father. The man with greying hair and a piercing gaze scrutinizes him for a moment, glancing at Jihoon’s hand, which shifts to hide his phone behind his back, as he greets him. After an excruciating moment, he merely nods and continues down the corridor, leaving Jihoon standing in the corridor.
Jihoon sighs, skin tingling. He takes a scalding hot shower and gets dressed. He stops by Chan’s room and nudges him until his brother is yawning and walking to the bathroom, half-awake.
thought u died!
Jihoon chokes a little on his coffee and his housekeeper looks at him worriedly. He just slides his phone back into his pocket and goes back to eating his breakfast.
Jihoon replies after he’s finished breakfast, has ruffled Chan’s meticulously styled hair (his brother whining in protest) and is getting into his car.
I’m not dead
Seungcheol then begins to message him through the day, random little tidbits that make Jihoon smile. (If Raina notices him smiling at his phone sometimes, she doesn’t make any comment.)
They pass the days like that, Jihoon going to Healing once or twice a week, depending when he has functions, and if there's work (and class work) to do, and Seungcheol is always bright eyed and smiling and eager to talk.
Jihoon tells himself that Seungcheol is like that to everyone, and he’s not special in any way, but even Jihoon knows that Seungcheol is not like this with everyone. He resolves himself to keep his composure, it’s just a new friendship with someone who doesn’t think he’s weird. Nothing less, nothing more.
But Jihoon finds his resolve crumbling a little every time they meet, and every time he gets a message from Seungcheol.
just saw THE cutest puppy
Jihoon snickers as he leaves the meeting room.
I’m assuming you took a picture
The response is immediate.
defs
Show me tonight?
Except then there isn’t a reply. Jihoon thinks he’s busy and can’t reply, until it’s been four hours and his phone hasn’t buzzed at all. He begins to get worried.
It’s five when Jihoon gets a message from an unknown number.
this is jeonghan’s phone. I ran out of credit to txt bck sorry! come in sumtime so i can show u the pic yeh? - cheol
Jihoon smacks himself internally. He forgot about credit. His phone was paid for, with unlimited calls and messages, so he didn’t think --
He stops, brain whirring. He reaches for his phone again and calls Seungcheol. He only realises what he’s doing when Seungcheol answers the phone and Jihoon’s brain turns to putty.
“Jihoon?” Seungcheol asks over the phone, sounding worried when Jihoon doesn’t answer.
“S-Sorry, I just,” Jihoon flounders internally. So much for keeping composure. “I thought, since you don’t have credit, I can call you, but I uh, I didn’t think this through. Sorry, uhm,” he stares at the time in the corner of his computer screen. “Is now a bad time? You’re setting up now, aren’t you?”
Seungcheol hums softly and Jihoon didn’t realise he could feel so comforted by a voice. “Yeah, we’ll be opening soon. I get a break at about ten, so you could call me then?”
Jihoon pushes aside the thought that this sounds like something a couple would do. He smiles to himself anyway, unable to help himself. “Alright, I’ll call you then,” he says, and hangs up at the same moment he looks up and sees Raina standing at the doorway to his office.
Jihoon jumps and lets out an undignified yelp before burying his face into his hands. “Raina-noona. Hi. You scared me,”
“I didn’t want to interrupt…” she trails off. Jihoon lets out a sigh before raising his head and smiling at her.
“It’s fine. You have something for me?” he asks as she hands him some documents.
“Just some notes for the AGM the week after. Also an update from the team - they should be done with their report by tomorrow afternoon, so we can have a meeting tomorrow evening,” she says.
Jihoon furrows his brows. “Tomorrow is Friday,” he says slowly. Raina nods like she’s beginning to worry if he got enough sleep again. He waves off her concern. “Schedule the meeting for first thing Monday. Don’t make the team stay back late on a Friday. They have families to go back to,”
Raina seems to be holding back a smile. “You’re very kind, Mr Lee,”
“I thought we’ve said to just call me Jihoon. You’re older than me, and you let me call you noona,” Jihoon says with a heavy sigh as he rubs his temples. He’s beginning to get a headache.
“I can schedule the meeting for Monday morning, but will you have enough time to make your own report?” she asks.
Jihoon flaps his hand in front of his face lazily. “It’ll be fine. I’ll make it work. Just schedule the meeting for Monday,”
“Yes, sir,”
“Jihoon,”
Raina smiles again. “Jihoon-sshi,”
Jihoon just sighs. “Close enough, I guess,” he says. She gives him another reminder to eat dinner before she leaves, high heels clicking on the wooden floor.
Jihoon goes back to his report, tapping away at his keyboard as he counts down the time until Seungcheol will go on his break and Jihoon can call him.
“Jihoon!”
Jihoon smiles to himself as he makes his way over to the bar where Seungcheol is grinning brightly.
“You’re not ridiculously late tonight,” Seungcheol comments as Jihoon takes a seat at the bar.
“I didn’t realise there was a time I’m meant to be here by,” Jihoon says breezily and Seungcheol laughs easily.
“You know what I meant,” he says as he starts mixing Jihoon’s drink.
Jihoon smiles warmly. “I did indeed,” Seungcheol grins but doesn’t say anything more, making Jihoon’s drink wordlessly before giving it to him, Jihoon sliding the money across the counter.
“So, work is okay? Since you’re here at a semi-normal time on a Friday?” Seungcheol asks as Jihoon sips at his cocktail.
“Calm before the storm,” Jihoon answers instead. “I doubt I’ll leave my office at all next week,” he says and Seungcheol winces like just the mere mention of it hurts him.
“I hope that doesn’t happen,” Seungcheol says.
Jihoon just gives a tired smile. Before Seungcheol can say more though, Jihoon flinches at a loud voice calling his name.
“Jihoooooooon!!!” and then there’s arms around his shoulders, back-hugging him. Jihoon sighs, because there’s only one person he knows who would do this.
“Hi Hoshi,” he says, because he can see Soonyoung’s friends to the side, looking at him curiously, because it seems weird for happy carefree ‘Hoshi’ to be talking to a serious person in a suit.
“You didn’t tell me you’d be here tonight,” Soonyoung says, throwing Seungcheol a smile before he turns to look at Jihoon.
“I don’t believe I have to tell you where I am most of the time,” Jihoon answers coolly.
Soonyoung pouts. “I’m hurt,”
“I know,” Jihoon deadpans immediately, before patting Soonyoung’s head condescendingly. “Now go play,”
Soonyoung pouts some more, but Jihoon just inclines his head to his friends who are waiting and looking unsure. Turnng to follow his gaze, Soonyoung finally releases him and skips over to his friends, talking loudly and ushering them to the booth that’s free.
When Jihoon turns back to Seungcheol, the bartender is raising an eyebrow at him. “Do explain to me how you’re friends again?”
“You mean, how am I friends with anyone?” Jihoon quips back and Seungcheol snorts.
“No, just you and him. You seem… very opposite,” Seungcheol says.
Jihoon smiles a little. “You and I seem quite opposite too,” he says, but he quickly moves on. “Soonyoung and I are family friends,” he says, “our parents…. know each other,”
Seungcheol quirks an eyebrow. “I feel like there’s more to this, like why you call him Hoshi sometimes and Soonyoung sometimes, but I feel like this is a conversation for another time?” he says. Jihoon nods hesitantly, not realising his slip up of calling Soonyoung by his real name in front of other people.
“He comes here pretty frequently though,” Seungcheol comments a bit later, after he’s served another customer and is cleaning some glasses.
Jihoon just smiles against the rim of his glass. “Still part of the story for another time,” he says softly.
“How about your story, Jihoon?” Seungcheol asks, leaning over the counter of the bar in front of him, and Jihoon’s witty answer dies on his lips. Seungcheol is so close, Jihoon’s brain is short-circuiting. Because, aside from Soonyoung, wherein the affection is half forced, Jihoon is only really close to his brother, and he doesn’t even see Chan most days.
Jihoon isn’t well-versed in any sort of intimacy, isn’t used to being close to anyone - physically or emotionally (Soonyoung and Chan, again, being the only exceptions to that).
“I - ,”
Jihoon is either lucky or unfortunate that someone calls to order some drinks and Seungcheol disappears to the other end of the bar to attend to them.
He does notice Soonyoung watching him out of the corner of his eye though, and sends his best death glare before getting distracted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.
He frowns when he sees Chan calling him.
Jihoon answers it immediately. “Chan?”
“Hyung, where are you?” Chan’s whispers over the phone and Jihoon is already on his feet, barely remembering to throw Seungcheol a quick wave as he hurries out the door. He misses Seungcheol’s slightly downcast face as he watches him leave.
“I’m out. What’s wrong, Chan?”
“Mother and Father keep asking where you are. They even asked me. Hyung, you might not want to come home. I have a bad feeling about this. They never ask for you,” Chan says.
Normally Jihoon wouldn’t question it, wouldn’t hesitate to stay gone from home for a few hours, maybe even to the next day. But the fact they were asking Chan about his whereabouts made him uneasy.
“I don’t know, Chan,” Jihoon murmurs, hesitating in the foyer area of Healing, the whiteboard of confessions by his side. He can see his confession for the day in green marker. I’m scared of storms.
“Hyung, seriously, I - ”
“Chan?” a voice calls in the distance, “is that your brother? Give me the phone,” and Jihoon hears Chan’s small squeak of protest before there’s a shuffle of noise and then his father is saying his name.
Jihoon feels his resolve harden. “Yes, Father?”
“Where are you? Come home immediately,”
“I was just about to make my way,” Jihoon says tightly.
“Well, hurry up,” and then the line goes dead.
Chan looks meek when Jihoon steps through the side door. Jihoon slips his shoes off and ruffles his brother’s hair. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” he murmurs before he steps inside. The housekeeper immediately takes his briefcase and starts neatening his hair.
Jihoon frowns at her. “Am I meeting someone?” he asks immediately. She merely nods. Jihoon heaves a heavy sigh and steels himself before he walks into the living room.
There, sipping on delicate porcelain cups that Jihoon knows are specifically ordered from France, sits his parents, as well another two other adults and a girl who is probably the same age as him. She’s dressed impeccably, hair curled, make-up making her look like the perfect doll.
Jihoon finally has the bad feeling that Chan mentioned before. It feels like he’s watching a glass wobble on a stand.
“Ah, Jihoon-ah, come, sit,” his mother says pleasantly, like this isn’t the first time he’s seen her in three weeks.
“I wasn’t aware we were having guests,” Jihoon says stiffly, “I apologize for my lateness regardless,” he bows as the three guests rise and bow in return.
“Jihoon, this is Mr and Mrs Park, they own Royal Imports, and this is their daughter, Sora.”
Jihoon definitely has a bad feeling, the metaphorical glass wobbling more and more.
He swallows it down though, and introduces himself properly, trying to give the young girl a reassuring smile as he sits down in the other chair.
“We are actually in the midst of a partnership deal with Royal Imports,” Jihoon’s father explains, smiling gently, while Mr Park smiles back warmly.
Jihoon is getting a very, very bad feeling, and he feels like he’s watching the glass tilt too far.
“And in a few years, we’ll be invaluable business partners to each other, so we thought it’d be good for you and Sora to meet, especially since we’ll want to take that close relationship beyond business and become family.”
Jihoon’s bad feeling of glass crashes, the loud shattering of it in his head only visible through his slightly widened eyes.
“Are you saying…. Marriage?” he breathes, glancing at the girl. She doesn’t look too surprised, just tries to keep her head up as her hands wring nervously in her lap, which means she knew about this earlier. Now that he’s looking at her properly, he thinks she’s probably younger than him. Has she even finished school yet?!
“Not now, of course,” Jihoon’s father says breezily, “but in a year or two, when you finish your masters and take over the company, and Sora finishes her undergraduate and begins working in a managerial position in Royal Imports. Then it’d be the right timing to announce the engagement,”
Undergraduate. At least she’s not that much younger. But still. Jihoon isn’t even 24. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, like it will help him process it.
It doesn’t.
“I’m sorry, Sora-sshi, I know you don’t have a say either,” is all Jihoon says, as he stands up.
“Jihoon-ah? What are you doing? Please sit down,” his mother chides gently, practiced plastic smile on her face.
Jihoon steels his gaze as he glares at her. “I am not a pawn for you to use as you please,” he snaps. She splutters, startled that Jihoon is behaving like that, particularly in front of guests. Jihoon doesn’t care.
As he storms out of the living room, he sees Chan peeking out at him from the kitchen, so he whirls around to add, “And keep Chan out of your business with me!”
Then he grabs his brother’s wrist and yanks him out of the house with him, Chan stumbling after him. Jihoon only lets go when they get to his car parked in the driveway and he sighs, runs a hand through his hair and says simply, “Please get in the car, Chan,”
Chan obeys without question and Jihoon is silently thankful. He can’t bring himself to calm down, but he doesn’t want to take it out on Chan either.
He just pulls the car out of the house that’s more like a prison than home and accelerates down the empty street. He doesn’t say anything, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as the houses and streets blur into each other.
He only stops driving when they’re at a mountain lookout just outside the city. He parks the car into the deserted spot and heaves a sigh, leaning back in his chair.
“Sorry, Chan,” Jihoon says heavily, the first thing he’s said the whole car ride. “I didn’t want to leave you behind after creating a storm,”
Chan just smiles, pats his hand on the gear stick, and then gets out of the car.
Jihoon watches his brother get out and then round the front of the car to the railing that looks over the city. Jihoon heaves a sigh before he gets out too, joining his brother at the rails.
“I heard everything,” Chan says softly, slumped over the railing, looking at the city that bustles below. The world that goes on no matter what. He looks at Jihoon. “You’re too young to get married, hyung,”
“You’re too young to have a sister-in-law,” Jihoon says softly, leaning back against the railing and staring up at the sky.
For a long moment, they stay silent. Then Chan asks, “What are you going to do, hyung?”
Jihoon notices he’s shivering and remembers he dragged his brother out in his home clothes, without a jacket. He goes back to his car and retrieves one of the jackets he’s left in the backseat, helping Chan put it on before answering.
“I don’t know,” Jihoon answers truthfully. “I’ve done everything they asked me to, purely because I don’t care what happens,” he says, “but this involves another person. I don’t want to force that girl to be with me purely because we’re both business pieces in our parents’ game of ‘who can have the most money’.”
Chan smiles against the wooden railing, cheek squished against it as he looks at his brother in the dim light. “You’re really kind, hyung,” he says softly.
Jihoon looks at him quizzically. “Y’know, Raina-noona said the same thing to me today,” he says, “weird,”
“It’s the truth,” Chan laughs softly.
“I think you’re mistaken,” Jihoon makes a face. Chan laughs again and Jihoon finds himself smiling. Chan’s laughter warms his heart like nothing else can.
Maybe I am kind, Jihoon thinks as he lunges at his brother and Chan darts away with a yelp, before bursting out into bell like laughter. All I know is that I don’t want anyone else to go through this hell like I have to.
He chases after Chan, the two of them running circles around the lookout platform and Jihoon’s car, Chan making faces at Jihoon and laughing as he dodges Jihoon’s hands and runs off again.
All I know is that I want to protect this laughter, protect this innocence that I never had the chance to keep.
When Jihoon manages to catch his brother, he pushes him to the ground and climbs on top of him, tickling him relentlessly as Chan gasps for breath between laughter and begs for mercy. Jihoon pauses for a moment, takes in Chan in his jacket, hair messed up as he lies on the wooden platform of the lookout, eyes bright and shining as he stares up at Jihoon in relief, thinking he's been spared.
I’ll go through hell as many times as I need to, so long as Chan can keep smiling like this.
“Nope!” Jihoon says before going back to his tickle torture while Chan screams, laughing hysterically and trying to wriggle out of Jihoon’s grasp.
Jihoon can’t keep the smile off his face.
pairing: s.coups/woozi
genre: angst, romance, friendship
rating: m
warnings: in depth interaction with suicide, depression, homophobia and related issues, bullying, firearms, manipulation, smoking, language, implied sexual situations
wordcount: 3.3k
summary: au. Seungcheol passes the days trying to escape his past and find meaning in the future. Jihoon goes through each day trying to find a reason to live for himself, and not just exist pretending for others. Little do they know, a chance encounter gives them both what they’re searching for, and something more.
[ series tag]
chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four
a/n: even i'm struggling with how slow the fic moves at the rate im releasing chapters lol. it gets more exciting from here, but maybe we'll get another update this week if i get a chance OuO mebbe.
still @ work?
yep. I might be able to come tomorrow though
Somehow, they begin to pass the days like that, the two of them texting when Jihoon works late, unable to go to Healing to see Seungcheol. Seungcheol also sounds horrified when Jihoon says he’s at the office on a Saturday. Jihoon holds back the comment that he doesn’t have anything else to do, anywhere else to be, so why not? He can actually get things done at the office, and it’s less suffocating than home, unless Chan is home. He’s on a school trip that weekend though, so Jihoon holes himself up in his office with his work and his class work and pretends that’s enough for him.
He goes to Healing on Sunday night, but it’s too busy for Seungcheol to be able to talk to him for long. Jihoon still relishes the smiles and the witty banter they have over the bar whenever Seungcheol is free.
A new week brings a new set of deadlines and reports to do and Jihoon doesn’t leave the office for three days, sleeping on the little couch in his office. His assistant, Raina, forces him into his car to go home on the third day when she finds out.
Jihoon sleeps restlessly, but it helps anyway, and he wakes up to several messages from Seungcheol, because he didn’t respond to any of his texts the night before. Jihoon smiles and types out a reply that he’s fine as he emerges from his room, nearly bumping into his father. The man with greying hair and a piercing gaze scrutinizes him for a moment, glancing at Jihoon’s hand, which shifts to hide his phone behind his back, as he greets him. After an excruciating moment, he merely nods and continues down the corridor, leaving Jihoon standing in the corridor.
Jihoon sighs, skin tingling. He takes a scalding hot shower and gets dressed. He stops by Chan’s room and nudges him until his brother is yawning and walking to the bathroom, half-awake.
thought u died!
Jihoon chokes a little on his coffee and his housekeeper looks at him worriedly. He just slides his phone back into his pocket and goes back to eating his breakfast.
Jihoon replies after he’s finished breakfast, has ruffled Chan’s meticulously styled hair (his brother whining in protest) and is getting into his car.
I’m not dead
Seungcheol then begins to message him through the day, random little tidbits that make Jihoon smile. (If Raina notices him smiling at his phone sometimes, she doesn’t make any comment.)
They pass the days like that, Jihoon going to Healing once or twice a week, depending when he has functions, and if there's work (and class work) to do, and Seungcheol is always bright eyed and smiling and eager to talk.
Jihoon tells himself that Seungcheol is like that to everyone, and he’s not special in any way, but even Jihoon knows that Seungcheol is not like this with everyone. He resolves himself to keep his composure, it’s just a new friendship with someone who doesn’t think he’s weird. Nothing less, nothing more.
But Jihoon finds his resolve crumbling a little every time they meet, and every time he gets a message from Seungcheol.
just saw THE cutest puppy
Jihoon snickers as he leaves the meeting room.
I’m assuming you took a picture
The response is immediate.
defs
Show me tonight?
Except then there isn’t a reply. Jihoon thinks he’s busy and can’t reply, until it’s been four hours and his phone hasn’t buzzed at all. He begins to get worried.
It’s five when Jihoon gets a message from an unknown number.
this is jeonghan’s phone. I ran out of credit to txt bck sorry! come in sumtime so i can show u the pic yeh? - cheol
Jihoon smacks himself internally. He forgot about credit. His phone was paid for, with unlimited calls and messages, so he didn’t think --
He stops, brain whirring. He reaches for his phone again and calls Seungcheol. He only realises what he’s doing when Seungcheol answers the phone and Jihoon’s brain turns to putty.
“Jihoon?” Seungcheol asks over the phone, sounding worried when Jihoon doesn’t answer.
“S-Sorry, I just,” Jihoon flounders internally. So much for keeping composure. “I thought, since you don’t have credit, I can call you, but I uh, I didn’t think this through. Sorry, uhm,” he stares at the time in the corner of his computer screen. “Is now a bad time? You’re setting up now, aren’t you?”
Seungcheol hums softly and Jihoon didn’t realise he could feel so comforted by a voice. “Yeah, we’ll be opening soon. I get a break at about ten, so you could call me then?”
Jihoon pushes aside the thought that this sounds like something a couple would do. He smiles to himself anyway, unable to help himself. “Alright, I’ll call you then,” he says, and hangs up at the same moment he looks up and sees Raina standing at the doorway to his office.
Jihoon jumps and lets out an undignified yelp before burying his face into his hands. “Raina-noona. Hi. You scared me,”
“I didn’t want to interrupt…” she trails off. Jihoon lets out a sigh before raising his head and smiling at her.
“It’s fine. You have something for me?” he asks as she hands him some documents.
“Just some notes for the AGM the week after. Also an update from the team - they should be done with their report by tomorrow afternoon, so we can have a meeting tomorrow evening,” she says.
Jihoon furrows his brows. “Tomorrow is Friday,” he says slowly. Raina nods like she’s beginning to worry if he got enough sleep again. He waves off her concern. “Schedule the meeting for first thing Monday. Don’t make the team stay back late on a Friday. They have families to go back to,”
Raina seems to be holding back a smile. “You’re very kind, Mr Lee,”
“I thought we’ve said to just call me Jihoon. You’re older than me, and you let me call you noona,” Jihoon says with a heavy sigh as he rubs his temples. He’s beginning to get a headache.
“I can schedule the meeting for Monday morning, but will you have enough time to make your own report?” she asks.
Jihoon flaps his hand in front of his face lazily. “It’ll be fine. I’ll make it work. Just schedule the meeting for Monday,”
“Yes, sir,”
“Jihoon,”
Raina smiles again. “Jihoon-sshi,”
Jihoon just sighs. “Close enough, I guess,” he says. She gives him another reminder to eat dinner before she leaves, high heels clicking on the wooden floor.
Jihoon goes back to his report, tapping away at his keyboard as he counts down the time until Seungcheol will go on his break and Jihoon can call him.
“Jihoon!”
Jihoon smiles to himself as he makes his way over to the bar where Seungcheol is grinning brightly.
“You’re not ridiculously late tonight,” Seungcheol comments as Jihoon takes a seat at the bar.
“I didn’t realise there was a time I’m meant to be here by,” Jihoon says breezily and Seungcheol laughs easily.
“You know what I meant,” he says as he starts mixing Jihoon’s drink.
Jihoon smiles warmly. “I did indeed,” Seungcheol grins but doesn’t say anything more, making Jihoon’s drink wordlessly before giving it to him, Jihoon sliding the money across the counter.
“So, work is okay? Since you’re here at a semi-normal time on a Friday?” Seungcheol asks as Jihoon sips at his cocktail.
“Calm before the storm,” Jihoon answers instead. “I doubt I’ll leave my office at all next week,” he says and Seungcheol winces like just the mere mention of it hurts him.
“I hope that doesn’t happen,” Seungcheol says.
Jihoon just gives a tired smile. Before Seungcheol can say more though, Jihoon flinches at a loud voice calling his name.
“Jihoooooooon!!!” and then there’s arms around his shoulders, back-hugging him. Jihoon sighs, because there’s only one person he knows who would do this.
“Hi Hoshi,” he says, because he can see Soonyoung’s friends to the side, looking at him curiously, because it seems weird for happy carefree ‘Hoshi’ to be talking to a serious person in a suit.
“You didn’t tell me you’d be here tonight,” Soonyoung says, throwing Seungcheol a smile before he turns to look at Jihoon.
“I don’t believe I have to tell you where I am most of the time,” Jihoon answers coolly.
Soonyoung pouts. “I’m hurt,”
“I know,” Jihoon deadpans immediately, before patting Soonyoung’s head condescendingly. “Now go play,”
Soonyoung pouts some more, but Jihoon just inclines his head to his friends who are waiting and looking unsure. Turnng to follow his gaze, Soonyoung finally releases him and skips over to his friends, talking loudly and ushering them to the booth that’s free.
When Jihoon turns back to Seungcheol, the bartender is raising an eyebrow at him. “Do explain to me how you’re friends again?”
“You mean, how am I friends with anyone?” Jihoon quips back and Seungcheol snorts.
“No, just you and him. You seem… very opposite,” Seungcheol says.
Jihoon smiles a little. “You and I seem quite opposite too,” he says, but he quickly moves on. “Soonyoung and I are family friends,” he says, “our parents…. know each other,”
Seungcheol quirks an eyebrow. “I feel like there’s more to this, like why you call him Hoshi sometimes and Soonyoung sometimes, but I feel like this is a conversation for another time?” he says. Jihoon nods hesitantly, not realising his slip up of calling Soonyoung by his real name in front of other people.
“He comes here pretty frequently though,” Seungcheol comments a bit later, after he’s served another customer and is cleaning some glasses.
Jihoon just smiles against the rim of his glass. “Still part of the story for another time,” he says softly.
“How about your story, Jihoon?” Seungcheol asks, leaning over the counter of the bar in front of him, and Jihoon’s witty answer dies on his lips. Seungcheol is so close, Jihoon’s brain is short-circuiting. Because, aside from Soonyoung, wherein the affection is half forced, Jihoon is only really close to his brother, and he doesn’t even see Chan most days.
Jihoon isn’t well-versed in any sort of intimacy, isn’t used to being close to anyone - physically or emotionally (Soonyoung and Chan, again, being the only exceptions to that).
“I - ,”
Jihoon is either lucky or unfortunate that someone calls to order some drinks and Seungcheol disappears to the other end of the bar to attend to them.
He does notice Soonyoung watching him out of the corner of his eye though, and sends his best death glare before getting distracted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.
He frowns when he sees Chan calling him.
Jihoon answers it immediately. “Chan?”
“Hyung, where are you?” Chan’s whispers over the phone and Jihoon is already on his feet, barely remembering to throw Seungcheol a quick wave as he hurries out the door. He misses Seungcheol’s slightly downcast face as he watches him leave.
“I’m out. What’s wrong, Chan?”
“Mother and Father keep asking where you are. They even asked me. Hyung, you might not want to come home. I have a bad feeling about this. They never ask for you,” Chan says.
Normally Jihoon wouldn’t question it, wouldn’t hesitate to stay gone from home for a few hours, maybe even to the next day. But the fact they were asking Chan about his whereabouts made him uneasy.
“I don’t know, Chan,” Jihoon murmurs, hesitating in the foyer area of Healing, the whiteboard of confessions by his side. He can see his confession for the day in green marker. I’m scared of storms.
“Hyung, seriously, I - ”
“Chan?” a voice calls in the distance, “is that your brother? Give me the phone,” and Jihoon hears Chan’s small squeak of protest before there’s a shuffle of noise and then his father is saying his name.
Jihoon feels his resolve harden. “Yes, Father?”
“Where are you? Come home immediately,”
“I was just about to make my way,” Jihoon says tightly.
“Well, hurry up,” and then the line goes dead.
Chan looks meek when Jihoon steps through the side door. Jihoon slips his shoes off and ruffles his brother’s hair. “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” he murmurs before he steps inside. The housekeeper immediately takes his briefcase and starts neatening his hair.
Jihoon frowns at her. “Am I meeting someone?” he asks immediately. She merely nods. Jihoon heaves a heavy sigh and steels himself before he walks into the living room.
There, sipping on delicate porcelain cups that Jihoon knows are specifically ordered from France, sits his parents, as well another two other adults and a girl who is probably the same age as him. She’s dressed impeccably, hair curled, make-up making her look like the perfect doll.
Jihoon finally has the bad feeling that Chan mentioned before. It feels like he’s watching a glass wobble on a stand.
“Ah, Jihoon-ah, come, sit,” his mother says pleasantly, like this isn’t the first time he’s seen her in three weeks.
“I wasn’t aware we were having guests,” Jihoon says stiffly, “I apologize for my lateness regardless,” he bows as the three guests rise and bow in return.
“Jihoon, this is Mr and Mrs Park, they own Royal Imports, and this is their daughter, Sora.”
Jihoon definitely has a bad feeling, the metaphorical glass wobbling more and more.
He swallows it down though, and introduces himself properly, trying to give the young girl a reassuring smile as he sits down in the other chair.
“We are actually in the midst of a partnership deal with Royal Imports,” Jihoon’s father explains, smiling gently, while Mr Park smiles back warmly.
Jihoon is getting a very, very bad feeling, and he feels like he’s watching the glass tilt too far.
“And in a few years, we’ll be invaluable business partners to each other, so we thought it’d be good for you and Sora to meet, especially since we’ll want to take that close relationship beyond business and become family.”
Jihoon’s bad feeling of glass crashes, the loud shattering of it in his head only visible through his slightly widened eyes.
“Are you saying…. Marriage?” he breathes, glancing at the girl. She doesn’t look too surprised, just tries to keep her head up as her hands wring nervously in her lap, which means she knew about this earlier. Now that he’s looking at her properly, he thinks she’s probably younger than him. Has she even finished school yet?!
“Not now, of course,” Jihoon’s father says breezily, “but in a year or two, when you finish your masters and take over the company, and Sora finishes her undergraduate and begins working in a managerial position in Royal Imports. Then it’d be the right timing to announce the engagement,”
Undergraduate. At least she’s not that much younger. But still. Jihoon isn’t even 24. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, like it will help him process it.
It doesn’t.
“I’m sorry, Sora-sshi, I know you don’t have a say either,” is all Jihoon says, as he stands up.
“Jihoon-ah? What are you doing? Please sit down,” his mother chides gently, practiced plastic smile on her face.
Jihoon steels his gaze as he glares at her. “I am not a pawn for you to use as you please,” he snaps. She splutters, startled that Jihoon is behaving like that, particularly in front of guests. Jihoon doesn’t care.
As he storms out of the living room, he sees Chan peeking out at him from the kitchen, so he whirls around to add, “And keep Chan out of your business with me!”
Then he grabs his brother’s wrist and yanks him out of the house with him, Chan stumbling after him. Jihoon only lets go when they get to his car parked in the driveway and he sighs, runs a hand through his hair and says simply, “Please get in the car, Chan,”
Chan obeys without question and Jihoon is silently thankful. He can’t bring himself to calm down, but he doesn’t want to take it out on Chan either.
He just pulls the car out of the house that’s more like a prison than home and accelerates down the empty street. He doesn’t say anything, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as the houses and streets blur into each other.
He only stops driving when they’re at a mountain lookout just outside the city. He parks the car into the deserted spot and heaves a sigh, leaning back in his chair.
“Sorry, Chan,” Jihoon says heavily, the first thing he’s said the whole car ride. “I didn’t want to leave you behind after creating a storm,”
Chan just smiles, pats his hand on the gear stick, and then gets out of the car.
Jihoon watches his brother get out and then round the front of the car to the railing that looks over the city. Jihoon heaves a sigh before he gets out too, joining his brother at the rails.
“I heard everything,” Chan says softly, slumped over the railing, looking at the city that bustles below. The world that goes on no matter what. He looks at Jihoon. “You’re too young to get married, hyung,”
“You’re too young to have a sister-in-law,” Jihoon says softly, leaning back against the railing and staring up at the sky.
For a long moment, they stay silent. Then Chan asks, “What are you going to do, hyung?”
Jihoon notices he’s shivering and remembers he dragged his brother out in his home clothes, without a jacket. He goes back to his car and retrieves one of the jackets he’s left in the backseat, helping Chan put it on before answering.
“I don’t know,” Jihoon answers truthfully. “I’ve done everything they asked me to, purely because I don’t care what happens,” he says, “but this involves another person. I don’t want to force that girl to be with me purely because we’re both business pieces in our parents’ game of ‘who can have the most money’.”
Chan smiles against the wooden railing, cheek squished against it as he looks at his brother in the dim light. “You’re really kind, hyung,” he says softly.
Jihoon looks at him quizzically. “Y’know, Raina-noona said the same thing to me today,” he says, “weird,”
“It’s the truth,” Chan laughs softly.
“I think you’re mistaken,” Jihoon makes a face. Chan laughs again and Jihoon finds himself smiling. Chan’s laughter warms his heart like nothing else can.
Maybe I am kind, Jihoon thinks as he lunges at his brother and Chan darts away with a yelp, before bursting out into bell like laughter. All I know is that I don’t want anyone else to go through this hell like I have to.
He chases after Chan, the two of them running circles around the lookout platform and Jihoon’s car, Chan making faces at Jihoon and laughing as he dodges Jihoon’s hands and runs off again.
All I know is that I want to protect this laughter, protect this innocence that I never had the chance to keep.
When Jihoon manages to catch his brother, he pushes him to the ground and climbs on top of him, tickling him relentlessly as Chan gasps for breath between laughter and begs for mercy. Jihoon pauses for a moment, takes in Chan in his jacket, hair messed up as he lies on the wooden platform of the lookout, eyes bright and shining as he stares up at Jihoon in relief, thinking he's been spared.
I’ll go through hell as many times as I need to, so long as Chan can keep smiling like this.
“Nope!” Jihoon says before going back to his tickle torture while Chan screams, laughing hysterically and trying to wriggle out of Jihoon’s grasp.
Jihoon can’t keep the smile off his face.