It's Not Me (32/?) Scott/Logan
Title: It's Not Me
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan
Rating: M
Word Count: 4457
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31
“Logan, I’m fine,” Scott protested falling into Logan’s lap with the hefty tug Logan placed on his arm. With his brow creased, Scott scowled at Logan, “I already told you…”
“I know what you said, but this is for my own peace of mind as well,” Logan slid his thick fingers in against the side of Scott’s face. “You said once that if we did this, we did this as a team, did you not?”
“Logan, I wasn’t referring to…” Scott attempted to argue with him.
“Did you say that Scott?” Logan frowned back at him.
“Yes, I did, but right now this is really no big…” Scott stopped himself when Logan’s thick fingertips fanned out across his sculpted cheekbone.
“You’re my mate Scott,” Logan’s gaze traveled lazily over the contours of Scott’s face, rising up to his eyes before dipping down to imprint Scott’s pouting lips into his memory, “Anything that happens with you is a big deal to me. I realize that you’ve become fiercely independent through the years and I respect that about you, but when we entered into this union you asked me to let go of that need to flee--that rush to follow the wind and taking the world on my own shoulders without considering logic or reason. You asked me to be a part of something greater, something deeper and more profound in our uniting. Now I’m asking it of you Scott. Don’t try to do this on your own when we should be exploring this together.”
“Logan, it’s just,” Scott sighed guiltily, finally relenting in the moment, “fine you can go with me, but you can’t go looking like that.”
“What’s wrong with how I look?” Logan eyed him suspiciously, “I thought you liked me this way.”
“I do,” Scott’s fingers dropped over the center of Logan’s bare chest, teasing his fingertips over the hair covered musculature beneath his touch. Leaning forward, Scott’s lips dropped over the side of Logan’s neck and shoulder, whispering quietly against his skin, “but I don’t think the rest of the world would appreciate this view. Not that it’s not stunning, but it would certainly alert someone to the fact that something was off with you half dressed and looking sexy as hell.”
“As I said before I’ll wait in the car if you want,” Logan suggested again bringing his hands around Scott‘s hips to draw him in closer to him. Logan tipped his head to the side, nose nuzzling Scott’s shoulder in a small, flicker of movement.
“We both know it would be easier if you just waited here,” Scott sighed in protest, his fingers curling in around Logan’s ribs to trace them leisurely in spite of himself.
“I don’t like to sit around waiting for what I want,” Logan slurred, his voice husky and darkening with something that went beyond their conversation. Scott tipped his head back, eyes widening with surprise at the growl that fell from Logan’s lips.
“There’s a certain sense of pleasure that can be derived from delayed gratification,” mischief sparked behind Scott’s eyes. “The sooner I get this over with, the easier it’s going to be for us to fit in a few more minutes for us before our return to school. I slip in and out of the office and then well maybe when I get back, we can practice the same technique with you inside of me.”
“Keep talking like that Scott and I’m not going to want us to ever leave,” Logan mouthed with an animalistic slur, his eyes filled with the imagery Scott had planted into his head.
“So don’t leave,” Scott suggested with a coy expression on his face, “you can stay here, get things ready for…”
Scott’s words tapered off, fingers sliding down over Logan’s broad, muscular chest before settling in over Logan’s lap, “…later.”
“Scott, you and I both know that…” Logan opened his lips in warning, his gaze lingering over Scott’s mouth, immersed in the temptation it provided in being a few mere inches away from him.
“There’s nothing happening over there right now that should raise a red flag on the situation if I go over by myself. I’ll be in and out really quick,” Scott sighed brushing the tip of his nose in against Logan’s, his words heated and laced with temptation that went beyond the simple suggestion he’d made, “then we can take our time exploring our…options with one another.”
“We can take our time now to communicate and discuss your strategy. We both know how much pleasure you derive from doing just that,” Logan decided keeping Scott close to him in a stubborn embrace.
“We could, but then we’d only be further behind. Trust me if I go on my own, everything will be okay at the office. Even with me, I feel great this morning. I’m energized, eager and ready to get the answers we’ve been seeking out Logan,” Scott continued in an excited voice. He stretched his fingers of one palm out to touch Logan’s shoulder before meeting his eyes again, “It’s really going to be a boring task and with you waiting in the car…”
“You said I can go with you, so it’s settled,” Logan reminded him with a squeeze of his arm around Scott’s body. He ground Scott in over his lap, feeling Scott‘s thighs surround his in the moment despite their disagreement on the subject matter, “I’m going with you.”
“Fine, but you won’t be able to get inside,” Scott groaned bringing his fingers up over the back of Logan’s neck, coiling into his messy hair to pull at the thick edges just enough to guide Logan’s head back ever so slightly.
“Why not?” Logan asked lazily, his lips parting when Scott dipped down to slide his tongue into the damp heat of Logan’s mouth. There was an intensity in the kiss, erotic and urgent as Logan’s hands squeezed harder over Scott’s hips, crushing Scott in over his growing manhood.
“Because I’m certain you won’t get past security considering that you have to walk through those checkpoint scanners that detect metal and…” Scott curled his lip in protest before grinding his hips against Logan’s in a subtle press. The collide caused Logan‘s breath to hasten, his face to flush with temptation when Scott pulled back just enough to meet his eyes again.
“If that place was so safe, why would you need those?” Logan inquired raising a curious brow. He awaited a response from Scott as their bodies continued to catch a familiar rhythm between them that was far more primitive then the conversation they were attempting to carry on with one another.
“Someone had a knife fight before I started working there,” Scott explained with a harsh breath, his hips stilling as he met Logan with a sudden seriousness in his tone. “Someone on the tenth floor found out his wife was cheating with one of his executive bosses and confronted him. It got ugly and there was a stabbing. After the person responsible took a leap off of the roof of the building. It was a very morbid tale of stupidity and miscommunication considering the employee who did the stabbing ended up stabbing the wrong person before killing himself. The metal detectors were just a precautionary tactic after that.”
“Wow, sounds like a great company to work for Scott. With coworkers like that, how ever could anyone think that you could be in any kind of danger working there?” Logan gave him a disapproving look when a frown returned to his lips in remembering that he wasn‘t happy about the place Scott had been tucked away at for all that time.
“Hey, it was before I arrived. I’m sure my coworkers embellished on the details a bit,” Scott replied quickly returning to a subtle movement above Logan, his body serving itself up as the ultimate distraction, “but that’s not really relevant to what’s going on. I’m just letting you know that there’s going to be no way around you getting inside.”
“So then as I said before I’ll stay in the car,” Logan added with a small sigh unable to refrain from pushing his hands in underneath the back of Scott’s belt into his pants. With a snarl, he pulled the bottom of Scott‘s button down shirt out from inside, hoping to create a space for him to continue touching Scott and exploring his skin, “I don’t see the harm in that, do you?”
“No I guess not,” Scott’s lip curled in contemplation, his fingers continuing to massage through Logan’s dark hair, “but even if you’re waiting in the car you’ll need to get dressed. Given the kind of environment we’re going to be in, you’ll require a shirt at the very least.”
“So much for breakfast, huh?” Logan questioned with an exaggerated breath.
“We can work up an appetite while we’re gone,” Scott decided leaning forward to kiss Logan greedily. His fingers squeezed, against Logan’s scalp, tugging on the thick, strands of his hair before they tapered off over his shoulders in an urgent press.
“I’m already starving although you haven‘t touched a thing, have you?” Logan paused seeing Scott’s uneaten meal still on the plate before him. Reaching up to collect one of Scott’s hands in his, Logan couldn’t help, but ask, “Scott, did you sleep at all last night?”
“I’m fine,” Scott gave Logan another quick kiss, “Just get dressed Logan. We’re on a time crunch here.”
“Scott,” Logan decided feeling Scott climb off of his lap. He opened his mouth in protest, preparing to say something more, when a breath escaped from his lips. He watched Scott reach for a briefcase, making his way over to the door before pointing to his watch once again, “fine.”
“Make it quick Logan,” Scott snapped his fingers together once again, “I want to get this over with so we can get started on the next phase of our search.”
“Ok I’ll be right back,” Logan agreed preparing to exit the kitchen when a nagging thought occurred in the back of his mind. Stopping in the kitchen’s archway, Logan turned around to see Scott fishing for the car keys in his pocket and eyeing the back door to the house suspiciously, “On second thought, why don’t you come with me?”
“What?” Scott questioned with a curious gulp, “Where?”
“To pick something out,” Logan leaned in against the doorway, “Since you’re opting to play the role of the fashion police today, why not come upstairs and help me decide what to put on?”
“You’re fully capable of picking something out on your own Logan,” Scott’s lower lip curled in protest preparing to say something more when Logan rushed forward tearing the car keys from Scott’s hand in the blink of an eye.
“Join me,” Logan dangled the keys in the air, taunting Scott with them before springing up the stairs to get dressed.
“Son of a…” he could hear Scott cursing before the pounding sound of footsteps followed up at the same hurried pace Logan had moments earlier. Logan stood beside the door, taking in the scent of Scott approaching before the bedroom door swung open and Scott stepped inside laced with the scent of anger.
“So you were planning on ditching me,” Logan thought to himself realizing full well that Scott wasn’t about to submit to the notion of team work when impossibility was lingering all around him. Without a word, Logan pounced sending Scott down face forward onto the bed with a start. He climbed over him, keeping Scott caged beneath his overwhelming presence. “So what was the plan Summers? You were going to do what I would’ve once done and taken off while I put something appropriate on?”
“What? Of course not Logan,” Scott’s muffled words broke through the blankets beneath him, “Don’t be ridiculous. I wanted you to get dressed so that we could…”
“We?” Logan repeated with a disbelieving laugh, “You’ve been arguing against we since you came up with the notion of leaving and something tells me if I hadn’t ripped these keys out of your hand that you’d be off right now going against what we agreed upon.”
“I’m not the one who doesn’t follow the game plan Logan,” Scott wiggled beneath him, attempting to shake Logan off of his slender form. Scott let out a frustrated groan before pushing his torso up on the blankets ever so slightly with his elbows, “You’re the one who doesn’t like to follow orders Logan, not me.”
“You’re all about giving them, but not taking them Slim. I’m not stupid,” Logan snarled feeling tension spiral out between him and Scott.
“I never said you were Logan,” Scott groaned twisting on the blankets beneath Logan.
“I didn’t give you an explicit order, but maybe it’s time that I did,” Logan decided pulling back just enough to flip Scott around onto his back. In an instant, Logan could see the anger burning beneath the surface, the repressed rage that Scott was feeling in the moment of being caught at his game, yet before Scott could find a way to try to convince him of anything beyond the duplicity that he’d been contemplating, Logan’s mouth crushed his, kissing him to breathlessness.
Logan could taste the impending lie upon Scott’s lips, feel the betrayal lingering on Scott’s tongue, but it was the fury surrounding Scott that Logan relished. He felt Scott’s arms wrap around him savagely, hands gripping into Logan’s shoulders, squeezing him tighter, more urgently until they scraped down Logan’s spine, causing tiny tremors of fleeting pain to permeate over Logan’s skin. Logan winced, pulling back ever so slightly to see the fire burning behind Scott’s blue eyes. Scott said nothing, merely grunted when his leg curled around Logan’s waist in an attempt to gain leverage in the situation. Scott pushed upward attempting to shove Logan again when Logan used his weight to crush Scott further into the mattress.
Scott groaned, striking Logan’s shoulder in a feeble attempt at breaking loose before their mouths crashed and collided once again in a battle for dominance between them. Logan bit down on Scott’s mouth, teeth breaking through the skin of Scott’s lower lip causing him to wince. Scott, in turn, dug his heel into Logan’s lower back, twisting and pushing until somehow in the process Scott’s shoe flipped off and Scott’s toes were dipping in underneath the sweatpants Logan was wearing, haphazardly pulling them down over his bottom. Logan pulled back ever so slightly, seeing the transformation of anger to arousal beneath the surface. Scott raised his head up just enough to claim Logan’s mouth in another searing kiss. The kiss gave Scott the leverage he needed to fling Logan down onto the bed beneath him. The momentum shift allowed Scott the opportunity to climb on top of Logan and break loose. It seemed for a second that he’d freed himself, but instead of fleeing to the office, he reached for Logan’s hand, taking Logan’s fingers between his now parted lips. He groaned rocking his hips over Logan’s abdomen, not bothering to censor or stifle the overwhelming ripple of sensations between them any longer.
“Scott,” Logan watched Scott suck on his finger, taking it in deeper, teasing it harder before Scott wiggled over him again with expert patience, drawing out each alluring movement.
“Damn it,” Logan growled roaring as he regained momentum, slamming Scott down onto the bed beneath him. Scott released his hand, lips parting in surprise as Logan released his claws sending them slashing through Scott’s tie and button down shirt. The claws violently tore into the material without hesitation when instinct overtook logic in Logan’s every thought. The fabric shredded, revealing the warmth of Scott’s smooth skin just beyond Logan’s touch. Logan’s first instinct was to lean down and bite at Scott’s recently sun kissed skin, listening to the sounds of him cry out in anticipation, but instead he hesitated watching closely to see Scott’s chest rise and fall as their lips remained a fraction of an inch away from each other.
“Logan,” Scott finally panted as they remained frozen in time, each carried away in the moment. Logan smirked when he realized that Scott’s angry eyes were now clouded over with lust and intoxication, eagerly anticipating Logan’s next move.
“Tell me the truth Scott. Were you planning on ditching me?” Logan searched his lover’s eyes once again, demanding an answer when it became clear that something was wrong. Logan took in a breath stretching his fingers out, guiding his claws out on the blankets just beyond where Scott lay beneath him. Although he’d used them to tear Scott’s clothing to pieces, he found that they weren’t willing to cooperate in returning into his body. He wasn’t sure if it was his anger or his focus on Scott’s behavior that had him distracted enough to not be in control of it, but for the time being they weren’t going anywhere. A momentary panic carried over him, setting Logan on edge when he slid his hands out further away from Scott to keep his claws at a safe distance, not intending to use them, but rather attempting to keep them from touching his lover while Logan braced himself for Scott’s reaction in his quest for the truth.
“I woke up this morning not intending on you going with me,” Scott stated in between labored breaths, doing his best not to be effected by Logan hovering over him, keeping him captive in the moment.
“I thought you didn’t sleep last night,” Logan countered when Scott reached for Logan’s wrist, guiding Logan’s claws over the center of Scott’s bare chest, allowing them to rest over the warm skin and smooth muscle barrier over his furiously beating heart. Logan tensed up, attempting to push up on his elbow to keep his claws from cutting Scott when their eyes locked with one another all over again.
“I didn’t,” Scott confessed squeezing Logan’s wrist over his chest harder than before.
“Scott don’t,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown down at him in an attempt to pull his hand away from Scott’s chest.
“I can take it,” Scott stated simply, his blue eyes meeting Logan’s in a challenge, “I’m not afraid of you. They don’t frighten me.”
“They frighten me sometimes,” Logan blurted out thoughtlessly in feeling Scott’s fingers squeeze over the top of his hand, using a tip of his finger to skim the surface of Logan’s claw, unafraid and unaffected by their presence between them.
“Maybe it’s time you got over that particular hang up,” Scott suggested curling his finger over the top of Logan’s claw, carefully brushing up against it in a subtle, skillful sweep. A smile curved over the center of Scott’s lips when he applied a bit more pressure to his hold on Logan, “They’re warmer than I thought they would be.”
“Scott I don’t think that…” Logan opened his mouth in protest, feeling a slight pressure upon them. Knowing he hadn’t allowed anyone to come this close to them, yet alone touch them beyond when Logan was using them for violence, he was frozen with fear. Scott’s explorations felt foreign, out of place when his soft, vulnerable flesh skimmed the surface again and again. Thinking about the many times he’d used his claws in the past during foreplay when it came to tearing Scott’s clothing away, Logan had still kept them at a distance, backing off before he could truly touch Scott with them. He’d been careful to avoid any contact in using them on Scott directly and hurting him. Aside from the night he’d lost control, he hadn’t thought to allow Scott or anyone else for that matter to touch them, to feel their danger in their grasp when Logan knew full well of the damage they could create effortlessly.
“The night it was inside of me, I didn’t take the time to think about their texture or the sensation that carried over them. I have to admit though that I always wondered what they felt like inside of you,” Scott continued lazily, something shifting in his features. He teased his touch over the tip of Logan’s center claw before rounding over to the adjacent one for further exploration, “They aren’t at all what I imagined up close like this.”
“Scott,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown finding himself paralyzed by the lack of control he felt in the moment being unable to sheath his claws with Scott beneath him, touching him in ways that had ignited Logan’s worst fears in the past.
Thinking about the horror Logan had felt in imagining Scott getting this close to the monster that raged inside of him, Logan found he couldn’t do anything, but carry that worry with him, refusing to make a movement with Scott’s hold on him. Even the tiniest of flicks or attempt to pull away could prove disastrous should Logan be so bold as to try to tear himself away from Scott. Scott, however, seemed unconcerned by Logan’s unspoken fears. Then again, the more Logan watched Scott touching him, the more he realized that something had changed--had overwhelmed his senses in the moment with Scott caressing him. He felt a certain sense of invasion upon him, sliding into the warmth of his brain, guiding his senses to allow Scott the opportunity to touch him, to take the claws between his fingertips to trace their length leisurely. If anything Scott seemed intrigued by their power, dragging the palm Logan had impaled not that long ago over the top of the adamantium, careful not to break his skin’s surface. Frowning, Logan eyed him suspiciously, “What are you doing Scott?”
“Touching you,” Scott explained simply, revealing nothing of his thoughts when his index finger slid over the top of Logan’s claw, pressing down with just enough pressure to draw a tiny drop of blood. He neither winced, nor hesitated in sliding his finger over the surface again as Logan watched with a sudden curiosity, “Don’t you like it?”
“You’re hurting yourself,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown in seeing Scott’s blood on his claw. He turned his attention to the finger, watching Scott raise it up in the air guiding it towards Logan’s mouth.
“Am I?” Scott questioned pushing his finger in between Logan’s lips, urging Logan to take a taste of him. Silently Logan complied unable to ignore the distinct flavor of Scott that carried over him. It was unique, familiar and intoxicating as Scott pushed his finger in further, enticing Logan to suck upon it until Logan realized Scott was no longer bleeding.
“See, I’m fine,” Scott smiled removing his finger and holding it up in the air. Satisfied with his actions, Scott sank back into the blankets and brought Logan over him more completely, “Feel better now?”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Logan frowned trying to regain focus as he pulled his hand away from Scott. He raised it up in the air and found himself met with the same stubborn inability to will his claws back into his body.
“Why not? I trust you Logan,” Scott challenged stretching out further beneath Logan’s weight, “implicitly. I know that you’d never hurt me of your own accord--not with those.”
“I damn near took your hand off with them Scott. You know as well as I do that…” Logan couldn’t help, but frown at Scott’s words when another warmth carried over his body. Tensing up, he focused on Scott again, “You’re doing this, aren’t you?”
“Doing what?” Scott questioned lazily, his hand reaching out to grab Logan’s wrist again. He arched up off of the blankets, twisting Logan’s hand just enough to lean forward and press a subtle kiss over the side of Logan’s palm, his lips sliding in closer to the claws when Logan pulled back.
“You’re keeping them out,” Logan accused with a huff refusing to allow Scott’s lips to touch them the way his fingers had, “Why?”
“I’m not afraid of you,” Scott countered with a neutral expression on his face, “You’re always telling me to face my fears, so maybe we should work through yours. They’re out and they haven’t torn me to pieces yet, have they?”
“Scott, this isn’t funny,” Logan growled down at him at the invisible force Scott was exerting upon Logan to prevent him from sheathing his claws. “This isn’t at all…”
“It’s not meant to be funny,” Scott reached for Logan’s hand again guiding it over his chest, “It’s meant to show you that you don’t have to run from your fears or let them guide your actions. You can face them head on without hesitation.”
“Why are you doing this?” Logan tensed up again.
“To prove to you that I trust you,” Scott met his eyes in a challenge, “That I’ll always trust you no matter what happens.”
“I don’t like being lied to, manipulated or deceived, all of which it’s clear you’re doing right now,” Logan clarified with a snarl and an anger in his voice. “You’re holding me captive against my will.”
“Weren’t you just attempting to do the same with me in stealing the car keys?” Scott raised a scrutinizing brow. His lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.
“You were lying to me,” Logan snarled in warning.
“I wasn’t lying to you,” Scott groaned outwardly, keeping still beneath Logan, “As for the manipulation, I figured perhaps we should delve into the nightmares Jean’s been giving you. She’s lead you to believe that if I’m near them you’ll destroy me, so I’m proving her wrong. I’m taking a stand against her by showing you that we’re stronger than her--that we can control it. Hell, consider this therapy.”
“I don’t want therapy Scott. I don’t want you mind fucking me either,” Logan snarled in warning, his patience running thin with his lover.
“You didn’t seem to mind it before when I let you hold the reigns on the experience,” Scott couldn’t help, but smirk with a darkness overtaking his features, “Come to think of it you rather enjoyed it the last time we tried.”
“Let go of me Scott. Stop with the damned games because right now I’m tired of them. I want answers,” Logan huffed impatiently, finding his patience running thin at Scott’s manipulation.
“Fine, you want answers Logan, get off of me and we’ll talk,” Scott suggested wiggling his brow up at Logan.
“No, not until you start being straight with me Slim. Why the games right now? What is it that you don’t want me to see that you’re hiding at the office?” Logan questioned abrasively, his eyes surveying Scott’s features and seeing Scott’s jaw clench with an involuntary muscle strain. Bringing his claw up over the side of Scott’s face, Logan couldn’t help, but find himself agitated and intrigued by the way that Scott seemed unaffected by the claws Logan had feared would be his lover’s undoing time and time again, “Well?”
“I’m not hiding anything at the office,” Scott closed his eyes, refusing to make any kind of eye contact with Logan in his anger, “I’m just…”
“Just what?” Logan prompted further feeling Scott release the hold on his mind and allowing Logan to retract his claws. Relief carried over Logan before he reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face with his fingers. He coaxed Scott into meeting his eyes again, in revealing the truth that he was fighting to suppress about what was going on.
“Right now I’m going to be late,” Scott paused when the sound of his cell phone began to buzz between them, causing a vibration over Logan’s thigh. Reaching down in between them, Logan paused over the center of Scott’s slacks, taking the moment to brush against Scott’s hardening body before he continued on to Scott’s pocket withdrawing the phone. “That‘s probably my contact calling right now to…”
“Let’s just see who you’re meeting with,” Logan decided holding the phone up in the air to see a text message on the screen before him, “Running behind so meet me in an hour. Hmm…well it looks like you’ll have a little more time for explaining now.”
“Give me that,” Scott stretched his arm out after prying it out from underneath Logan. He yanked the phone from Logan’s hand, reading the screen before tossing it across the bed onto the pillows, “Great, so now you’re going to grill me for the next hour about who I’m meeting right?”
“If it didn’t say Wendy’s name on the text, I might’ve done that, but I think it speaks for itself,” Logan snarled with jealousy, his dislike for the woman getting the best of him, “I’m assuming it’s the same skank that showed up at our place trying to seduce you, yes?”
“Skank? Where did you pick up that word?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown, “Marie?”
“Marie doesn’t talk like that although I strongly suspect if she met Wendy she’d have to agree on my assessment or at least find a few choice words for herself,” Logan bristled at Scott’s questioning. “Scott, that woman is nothing, but trouble. You know it as well as I do.”
“She’s someone with access to anything I could need at the company Logan. She owes me a favor and…” Scott explained drawing in a nervous breath.
“What did you have to offer her in return for doing it?” Logan eyed him suspiciously, his words met with heavy distain.
“Oh please,” Scott groaned rolling his eyes at Logan, “what do you think I offered her in return? Sex? A piece of my soul? Damn it Logan I told you last night I don’t trade myself for information or favors.”
“I know what you said Slim, but at the same time I don’t even recognize you right now. You’re acting like a man possessed. Look at the way you’ve been manipulating me--trying to…hell, I don’t even know what it is you’re trying to do right now Scott,” Logan groaned outwardly, “with this little game of yours…”
“It’s about trust,” Scott shifted beneath Logan, “about proving to you that even at your darkest I still have faith in you, so why don’t you have it in me? I know I’ve made mistakes, but…”
“Mistakes are one thing Scott, but playing head games on me like this…” Logan snarled back at him.
“Aren’t right I know, but damn it Logan, I can’t expect you to hold my hand through it all. I need to step up on my own and prove to myself that I’m not an invalid. If you’re constantly creeping in behind me, trying to save me from myself, then how long is it going to be before I lose the strength to keep from falling? How much further will I have to sink before any semblance of my sanity is gone forever?” Scott sighed in an exaggerated breath. “If you can’t trust me, then how am I ever going to trust myself?”
“You’re the one working against trust here Scott, trying to pull something over me and…” Logan reminded him simply, “Don’t try to turn this around on me when you just…”
“I have faith in you Logan. I trust you with all that I am, so why can’t you have the same faith in me? Why can’t you believe that maybe just maybe this once I can control it? That I can keep from danger long enough to pick up paperwork?” Scott whined in response, unable to repress the bitterness that carried over his tone. “Why do you have to follow me every step of the way?”
“Because there’s a homicidal maniac out there trying to make you lose your mind Scott. That’s the one thing that we haven’t been able to avoid in all of this and if you were smart about the situation you’d see that…” Logan argued with him further.
“That I need this to know that I’m not beyond redemption. Logan, if I can’t even leave my house without fear for what could happen to me every time I open up the door, then what’s the point of trying? How can I go back to the school? To a place with children no less and believe that I’m not a threat to them if I can’t even make my way to the office?” Scott challenged in response, “Seriously…”
“The office isn’t a trip to the local store Scott. It’s a place where danger surrounds you,” Logan insisted with a shake of his head, “not to mention that the last time I saw Wendy she was coming on to you. She was naked in our kitchen and…”
“There’s no place for jealousy in this conversation right now Logan,” Scott frowned up at him.
“The hell there isn’t. I could sense how she felt about you Scott. I saw with my own two eyes that she was a woman ready and willing to do what was necessary to get what she wanted,” Logan attempted to argue with him.
“Kind of like you were when you decided to pursue me when I was with Jean?” Scott remarked without thinking. As soon as the words fell from his lips, he regretted them instantly.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” Logan started to pull away from Scott, placing a distance between them, “Let me guess, you’re probably thinking I’m making these assumptions based on the old adage of once a cheater, always a cheater, right Scott? Though in this particular scenario I think you’d be the one who was…”
“Logan, that’s not what I meant,” Scott began apologetically, wishing he could take his words back, “I was just…”
“Being a dick, but hey it’s something you really excel at Scott,” Logan rolled his eyes in response, “However, if you want to go parade around the office having tea and doting on Wendy, then be my guest. Far be it from me to give a damn about what’s best for you or to be concerned about some lunatic who breaks into our home to try to jump you in the middle of the night unannounced.”
“Logan, for heaven’s sake, even if Wendy tried to jump me, it wouldn’t make a difference,” Scott mouthed sourly, “I can’t even get worked up enough to touch myself unless I’m thinking of you, so do you really think that anyone else is going to be a problem for us? Even in the height of madness it’s only you that consumes me, only you that turns me on…”
“I know what kind of problem she is Scott. Just the way that she…” Logan paused giving Scott a long, contemplative glance, “What did you just say?”
“Think about it Logan, I went without sex for how long before you found me again,” Scott shook his head and sighed, “Do you have any idea what it was like wanting and never being able to touch? Never being able to have the fantasy fulfilled because the man you loved was…?”
“Gone,” Logan finished softening his tone. He reached up again, sliding his fingers into Scott’s hair tenderly, “I know you said there wasn’t anyone else, but…”
“There’s only you Logan,” Scott let out an ironic laugh, “ever since that night in the showers there’s only been you. I can’t even bring myself to think about it any other way. When I’m alone or feeling…well, worked up, the only comfort I seek in it is knowing that you’re here with me, beside me, loving me…”
“Scott I…” Logan dipped down to kiss him knowing he should be angry for the distraction, that he should be back on track in his questioning, but seeing the wounded expression on Scott’s face, he couldn’t help, but cave on his jealousy.
“I know you thought I was dead Logan and that the past isn’t relevant to our future, but…,” Scott took in a breath, his eyes returning to Logan once again, “You and I weren’t all that publicly committed to one another when I disappeared. I mean we were together, but you’d never expressed that you wanted us to be exclusive for the rest of our lives back then, so I understand if…”
“If what?” Logan gave him another long look.
“If it wasn’t the same for you. If it isn’t…” Scott cleared his throat uneasily before closing his eyes, “I know that it was a long time and…”
“It was a hell of a long time to be without you Scott,” Logan paused seeing something flash behind Scott’s uneasy features, “but not long enough for me to have considered moving on.”
“So you’re saying that when we were apart…” Scott’s blue eyes opened once again with surprise registering over his features.
“I gave my hand one hell of a workout thinking about you Slim, but beyond that…” Logan let out an ironic laugh, “I couldn’t find it in me to move on. I didn’t want to, which is probably why when I found you again that night, well, I wound up being so careless in letting loose of my inhibitions. It had been so long that I wasn’t thinking--I wasn’t paying attention when I sliced through your hand like I did and…”
“I healed Logan,” Scott smiled up at him, “I’m better than new.”
“So you are and this,” Logan bent down to kiss him tenderly, “this works so much better with us as a team, does it not?”
“I just didn’t want you upset about Wendy or to be feeling like I wasn’t capable of a simple task,” Scott finally divulged quietly, “I didn’t want you to think that anything was happening there when…”
“I trust you. I’ve always trusted you,” Logan whispered cupping Scott’s face in his hands, “it’s the rest of the world I don’t trust. It’s in those outside forces that I find myself conflicted…that I worry about what could happen…”
“I’ve given you plenty of reason to worry lately,” Scott finally conceded, “more than you bargained for when you entered into this with me.”
“Yeah, well life is full of surprises, isn’t it?” Logan let out an ironic laugh, “Here I thought I’d be the one terrifying the hell out of you most of the time with my past.”
“I’m not afraid of your past Logan,” Scott admitted honestly, “it’s more so holding onto our future that matters the most to me.”
“Me too which is why I can’t stand the idea of something happening to you again. If anything happens even for the smallest of seconds, I’ll regret not being there,” Logan agreed bending down to kiss Scott tenderly, “So, still thinking about ditching me to run off to talk to Wendy?”
“I was,” Scott revealed with a small breath, “but now, well, not so much.”
“Liar,” Logan challenged searching Scott’s features fully.
“Maybe a little bit, but there’s still room for you to change my mind,” Scott decided drawing in an uneasy breath.
“Glad I can still try to persuade you to rethink that stupid decision,” Logan mouthed approvingly, bending down to kiss Scott once again, “but if you really feel that you need to do this on your own…”
“You’d understand?” Scott questioned pulling back to search his eyes.
“Not really and I’ll still follow you regardless,” Logan admitted honestly, “so we can either go together or we can simply do it the hard way.”
“Why am I not surprised,” Scott let out a small groan, “so either way it’s having you with me or having you with me?”
“Pretty much,” Logan concluded urging Scott to look up at him again, “but Scott know this isn’t about a trust issue for us. This has nothing to do with my trusting you. It’s about everything else that’s going on beyond the two of us.”
“I realize that,” Scott nodded quietly.
“Scott,” Logan frowned touching his cheek gently, “hey…”
“We’re still going to butt heads on this one,” Scott sighed as Logan felt a heaviness in his chest.
“Probably,” Logan agreed giving Scott a long once over, “especially now that you’ve got that look on your face right now. I get the distinct feeling that…”
“I’m up to no good?” Scott decided wrapping his arms around Logan’s shoulders and kissing him with a renewed hunger. “You’re right. I’m downright naughty right now. You should try spanking me. It might help.”
“Scott?” Logan half questioned feeling Scott’s hands roaming over him all over again.
“Perhaps now would be a good time for a lesson in discipline between us--to help regain clarity and focus,” Scott suggested with a firm shove of his palm into Logan’s chest. Scott climbed in over him, shrugging out of the tattered shirt he was wearing, “You know although I’m going to be running a bit behind schedule it seems a few minutes have opened up, so maybe…”
“We can help each other get dressed again?” Logan suggested pulling Scott down for another eager kiss.
“Something along those lines,” Scott nodded in agreement as their lips parted.
“No head games Scott,” Logan warned curling his arms around Scott possessively, “because the next time you try to pull one on me, I won’t be as forgiving as I was just now…”
“Fine agreed,” Scott relented dipping down to kiss Logan again, “no head games…”
“Good,” Logan whispered knowing only too well that a little distraction time wouldn’t hurt either one of them now that they were on the same page with one another at long last.
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