It's Not Me (27/?) Scott/Logan
Title: It's Not Me
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan
Rating: M
Word Count: 5,031
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 |
Logan stepped into the shower trying to dismiss the thoughts that carried over him after he and Hank had worked to clean up the mess that they'd discovered back at the barn with one another. Although they'd both agreed that Scott would have to return to the school again to get the help he wasn't getting in Ohio, both had decided that it would be best for Scott and Logan to return together in the morning instead of forcing Scott to travel back with the remains of the man who'd tortured him in the past. It was something they'd both felt strongly about, yet when Logan had returned to discover Scott and Ororo with one another, simply engaging in a quiet conversation over tea with one another, it had almost felt as if Logan had stepped into an alternate universe where everything was as it should be. Scott seemed relaxed, genuinely at ease with their friend and not even Logan's sour demeanor over what he'd just finished up with could spoil the relief he'd felt in the moment of seeing Scott at ease. Still in knowing of the blood he would have to scrub off of his body, Logan had carefully kept the remains of his evening from Scott's line of vision when he politely dismissed himself, instead opting to head upstairs to put the night behind him for a while.
Leaning forward Logan dipped his head down, allowing the extremely hot water to linger over the top of his head, sliding down over his shoulders in a long, drawn out, pulsating heat that singed at his flesh. He bit down on his body's response knowing the burn of it would soon heal itself as his lips parted. Keeping his eyes closed tightly, he immersed himself in the slow, massaging motion of the spray, embracing it's warmth in the long, soothing movements upon him. Another sound erupted from within his throat, releasing the tension he'd carried with him in his hot escape from the day he'd put behind him. Leaning forward he pressed his hand into the shower wall when he felt a different kind of warmth surround him. Immediately his senses perked up, body responding to the slide of damp fingers over his abdomen, coaxing out a primitive response from him when the palms kneaded over his flesh, dropping down to squeeze at his inner thighs.
"I thought you were downstairs entertaining," Logan slurred, his words heavy with longing, savoring the skilled press of Scott's fingers against his greedy flesh. He groaned again, feeling the direct slide of Scott's bare skin against his spine, curving into him with the same readiness and ease in all of their encounters. Reaching down, he pulled one of Scott's hand's up, pushing it into the hair-dusted muscle near the center of his chest.
"They had to get going back to school," Scott's voice explained in a sultry whisper, "so I thought that maybe it would give us the opportunity to catch up with one another."
"You should be resting," Logan groaned, lacing his fingers with Scott's, knowing too well that temptation was too strong to ignore completely with Scott behind him.
"I'll rest later," Scott nipped at the side of Logan's neck, biting down in a possessive movement while his free hand stirred between Logan's thighs more urgently, "after I've finished having my way with you."
"You're opening the door to trouble Summers," Logan arched his head back, allowing Scott's hold on him to intensify, to draw forth the inner beast who knew nothing of logic and reason. Even in knowing what Hank had said about Scott's new powers, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if their couplings would only continue to be beneficial for the both of them in their own way. Given Scott's eagerness and Logan's need to push the darkness of the day behind them, he knew refusing Scott would be difficult. It was in his passion that he'd found the animal inside breaking loose, wanting to give in to any illicit request Scott would have for him in spite of himself.
"You rather enjoy living life on the edge immersing yourself in the very wrong you feel is so right," Scott's teeth sank into his flesh harder, pinching at the sinewy texture between Logan's neck and shoulder, causing him to groan.
"With you I always have," Logan decided unable to control his feral side any longer. He let out a low roar, his hand releasing Scott's before he spun around to face him. Scott's blue eyes were wrapped up in mischief, lips parting in an unspoken invitation to draw Logan inside, and in the moment, Logan knew nothing of logic and reason, only temptation and hunger. Surging forward Logan slammed Scott into the shower wall, devouring that mouth of his that had haunted his dreams, had played a part in Logan's favorite moments during the waking hours as well. With Scott's talented tongue lashing out at his, coaxing Logan closer to giving in to passion, Logan couldn't help, but groan. He wanted to consume Scott, to feel all of him over him, under him, to be inside of him with a hunger that engulfed everything inside of Logan.
"Take me Logan," Scott hissed, his words becoming darker, a naughty whisper of suggestion when Scott's arms shot up over Logan's spine, fingers digging into Logan's shoulders in a violent press. Logan groaned outwardly, feeling an aggressive nip over the center of his mouth. Teeth penetrated flesh, sharp and decisive when Logan shrugged away from the kiss, his head tipping back when Scott's nails squeezed harder into Logan, tearing at the flesh on his shoulders. The pain was excruciating, driving him further from pleasure when they ripped away at his skin, gnawing at muscle and bone in an instant of madness.
"Scott," Logan groaned pulling back seeing his lover's full, sensual, otherwise pouty lips overtaken by laughter. A wicked smirk carried over Scott's mouth, nefarious and consuming when the tip of Scott's tongue slid over his bottom lip tasting the traces of blood that Scott had pulled from Logan's mouth in their kiss. Suddenly everything changed. The scent of Scott faded, replaced by something different, albeit familiar. The eyes before him shifted from beautiful blue to thick blackness. Scott's muscled contours changed as well revealing the soft, pale complexion of the auburn haired woman before him.
"Jean," Logan stammered releasing her and falling back to the opposite side of the shower to place a distance between them. Shock registered on his features as she continued to tease her tongue over the blood that surrounded her mouth in having bit him. Her soft, wet curves were revealed to him when she dropped her arms down at her sides, approaching him with a determined step.
"What's wrong Logan?" she questioned giving him a long once over, "Is it too much for you too soon?"
"Stay away from me," Logan snarled back at her, his body tensing up with a fight or flight reaction. He looked to the confined space of the shower they were in knowing that if he were to extend his claws he would undoubtedly tear through the shower wall and the door as well causing a great deal of damage to the room they were in. Still with her soft footsteps splashing through the water on the shower floor, Logan knew she would be beside him shortly if he didn't react, "I'm warning you Jean. Don't make me do something you'll regret."
"I've never regretted you sticking me," she mocked his warning. Tossing her long, auburn hair back over her shoulder she licked her lips again, removing the final traces of blood upon them, "although maybe this time we can use a little bit more of you beyond the claws."
Logan scowled seeing her eyes drop down to the root of his masculinity, making no mistake about what she'd wanted from him in the moment. Thinking to the many times he'd teased her in the past, to the ways in which he'd used his own lust for Scott to arouse similar sensations from her, he tensed up.
"It's not happening Jean," Logan announced placing a hand in front of himself to shield his body from her eyes.
"Modesty," she laughed wildly, amused by the movement he'd made before her, "that's a new one I never anticipated encountering from you Logan given how blatant and direct you've always been in flaunting all that you are."
"Don't flatter yourself into thinking any of this is for you Jean," Logan puffed his chest out defiantly, "I thought you were Scott."
"Which shows how weak minded you truly are," she continued to mock his tone, her eyes twinkling with rage and amusement. "Truly Logan there's no need to pretend to be shy when we both know what it is your inner beast craves."
"It isn't you. It never was," Logan clarified seeing the determination on her features, "I don't know what you're doing here, but…"
"You've been sticking it to Scott for a while, taking what's mine, so I figure maybe it's time I take what's yours," she laughed wildly, her eyes darkening with rage. She cocked her head to the side, her skin bubbling with rage when she continued to speak to him, "What's wrong Logan? Not up to a winner takes all challenge where I'm concerned?"
"You aren't real. This is a mind trick," Logan shook his head firmly, "Even if you're still out there, this isn't happening."
"Isn't it?" she questioned reaching out to touch his shoulder possessively. He flinched beneath her touch when her fingers slid up into his thick, dark, unruly hair. She twisted it tightly, snapping his head back with a force unlike any Logan had ever experienced, "Does this feel real enough for you?"
"Damn it," he cursed attempting to twist his hand out from beneath him, but he found his fingers curving towards his own body, sliding in a press over his groin hinting at the kind of injury he would inflict upon himself should he think about extending his claws.
"Face it Logan as much as you'd like to think I was dead, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. The way I see it between you and Scott, I could go at this all day and night if I wanted to," she seethed with rage, her mouth hovering over the side of his neck. "As much as you'd like to deny that I'm no longer a part of Scott's life, I'm still inside of him. He's still very much linked to me, to what we had with one another. He always has been."
"No," Logan argued contemplating his options in knowing he would heal from an impulsive flick of his wrist in extending his claws, but thinking of the agony that would follow, he hesitated, waiting for the right moment to strike back, "you never loved Scott. This proves it Jean. Everything you're doing shows that Scott never meant anything to you because if he did you would stop all of this."
"Scott was everything to me," she hissed, wrenching on his hair again in a painful twist before ripping strands from his head, "He was my world before you arrived and tore that away from us. We could've had it all Logan, but then you provided temptation…"
"You were just as tempted as he was," Logan taunted, his words biting and angry despite her hold on him, "the only difference is you're angry because I didn't want you. Maybe that's why you're doing this. Maybe this is why you're targeting Scott-to get at me for choosing him over you."
"You never had a choice Logan. He's always been mine," she snarled, fury bubbling over her skin, "He'll always be mine."
"No," Logan smirked icily, feeling a moment of certainty carry over him, "he was never yours Jean. He was simply waiting for the right moment to find real happiness in his life and unfortunately for you he found it with the man you contemplated leaving him for. Admit it."
"Don't flatter yourself Logan. You aren't that special," she laughed in his face, her words dark and vicious in the moment.
"Special enough for you to want to screw me apparently," Logan challenged with an arch of his brow. "Time and time again I felt it Jean. I knew what you were thinking without even having to ask."
"Oh I'll screw you alright Logan, but not in the ways you're anticipating I'd wanted to," she warned, her words carrying with them a solid vibration of anger. "If you think this life of yours is somehow going to lead you to a happily ever after, then you're even more delusional than you were when you thought submitting to Stryker's twisted experiments would help you find your retribution."
"What?" he blinked back at her.
"It says a lot about a man given what he will submit himself to," she taunted further, "You've never thought things through and that's your problem. It's always been about the rage-the inconsolable anger that's very much a part of the Wolverine. It's the burden of the beast you carry with you, the man mixed with monster that you'd become when vengeance ruled your life. You can judge me, but deep down you know we're one in the same. We're both beyond redemption."
"All the more reason for you to stay away from Scott," Logan countered in warning, "If you want to go after someone, then come after me. Deal with me Jean, not him. He doesn't deserve any of this."
"He deserves a life beyond anything he could have with you," she mouthed with heavy distain, "He belongs with me."
"You're gone Jean. Maybe you haven't accepted that, but you've been dead for a while now," Logan searched her features, hoping to find a remainder of the woman he'd once cared for inside of her.
"I'm far from it Logan and deep down you know that," she slurred in a seething hiss, "I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to tear your world apart. Deep down you know that even in all your bravado you weren't capable of killing me even by pretending to 'save me' in your big moment."
"I did want to save you. I wanted to help you-to help you find yourself so that we could find Scott," Logan softened his voice, "I knew you never wanted to hurt him. Even if you were hurt, I saw that you would never willingly…"
"You don't know a damn thing about me Logan," she screeched causing the shower walls to shake, "Thinking you could deceive me and get away with it is a clear sign of that. Did you really believe that you were smarter than me? That you could somehow pull the wool over my eyes while you were working your way into his life?"
"No, I didn't. I knew that eventually you would know about us and I didn't care," Logan divulged honestly, the weight of his words falling upon his shoulders, "I didn't think about what it would do for you in losing Scott because all I saw was what I needed, what I wanted."
"You should've learned not to take what didn't belong to you," she spat back at him coldly, her lip twisting in a deeper scowl, "You had no right to walk into our lives and tear them apart. You stole so much from us. Scott was happy before you arrived. I was happy."
"I realize that and I'm sorry Jean," Logan mouthed somberly, doing his best to stay in control of the exchange between them, "I never should've hurt you like I did."
"You're not sorry," she refused to accept his answer, "You don't regret taking Scott and pulling him into your life. Admit it Logan. If you could go back you wouldn't change a damn thing, would you? You'd still take him."
"I wouldn't have lead you on in the process. I should've known better," Logan decided not bothering to pretend in his answer when he tried a different approach, "It's time to let go and move on before you can't take back all you've done. You need to release Scott from his pain, to stop haunting him because if nothing else, you know it's not what you want. If you love him like you claim to, then you'll release this hold on him. You'll allow him happiness."
"He had happiness with me," she shouted, causing the walls of the shower to shake mercilessly around them, "until you ruined it for us."
"He and I had a connection long before you forged yours with him," Logan tossed back at her with a seriousness in his tone, "He never was yours to begin with Jean because he and I had something with one another."
She laughed in his face, "You think you saved him Logan? That because of your freeing him from his cage that he was bound to you? You have no idea what you've done to him, but rest assured you were far from his savior. You were, after all, Weapon X and when Scott remembers the truth, he'll despise you. He'll hate you for the torture you inflicted upon him."
"You're grasping for something you won't find Jean," Logan replied with a stiff laugh, "I never hurt Scott like you have."
"Or so you think," she mouthed icily, "Face it Logan there's a reason he's so drawn to you, that he believes he's bound to you and it isn't because of love. Hank even alerted you to the fact that Stryker had a reason and a purpose for everything that's taken place. He's guided your union with Scott every step of the way. Even now he's controlling what happens next."
"You're insane," Logan spat back at her with a defiant laugh.
"Am I?" she touched the side of his face sending flashes of sensation running through him.
Logan gasped, feeling an ache building in his temple when he found himself surrounded by a dark room in Stryker's compound, taking in the heavy odor of death and suffering around him. He blinked a couple of times, trying to see through the darkness, but all he could locate was the sound of screams, of agony through the darkness. He stepped forward straining to regain control of his mind when it was clear Jean had taken him to this awful place again. There was blood on the walls, at his feet, surrounding him when he moved towards a light, following the scent of fear until he stood on the threshold of a doorway looking in on a violent scene before him.
"Jimmy," Victor's voice rippled through the air, amusement carrying over his tone when Logan spotted Victor hovering over a makeshift table of sorts stretched out from what must've been a chair before being placed into it's contorted state. Victor stood up, blood dripping from his chin, saturating his lips as he nodded to the smaller, pale body before him strapped down to the chair, "he's been waiting for you, ready to have a little fun."
Logan's eyes shifted to the sight before him, seeing the slashes in the otherwise smooth chest, hearing the sobs of the smaller boy before him, knowing that he'd reached a breaking point. Fear was evident, terror saturating the room, filling it with the irreplaceable scent of madness. Stepping forward Logan lowered his eyes, taking in the familiar path of the body before him, sliding up over the bloodied abdomen, to the gnarled chest when Logan's eyes finally found their way to the boy's mouth, to the lips he wanted nothing more than to devour time and time again.
"Take him Jimmy. He's ready for you," Victor taunted, goading him further into madness when Logan hovered over the boy he coveted.
"Please…don't do this," the boy whimpered, his lip quivering with pain, with agony and misery, but as Logan touched his pale cheek, feeling lust radiate through his body, caught up in the divide between right and wrong, he leaned forward licking a hot, wet line over the familiarity of the boy's neck, tasting the sweet agony that carried over him. He whimpered, his voice cracked with emotion behind his covered eyes, "please…don't…"
"No," Logan snarled breaking the connection between him and Jean. He watched her laugh, saw her pleasure in revealing to him an image that was undoubtedly untrue. She was toying with his mind, twisting his thoughts, guiding him to the same madness she'd been taunting Scott with again and again. Scott had been lost in things that couldn't have happened and now with Jean's sick, twisted perception of what had happened to Scott in Stryker's compound, Logan knew it was an impossibility. He wouldn't have hurt Scott, couldn't have taken his lover to that point of fear and madness, "that wasn't real just like this isn't real."
"Wasn't it?" she challenged again, laughter filling the walls of the shower, "Did you really think someone like Scott would want you willingly without you having to force it Logan? Face it he's only with you because you hurt him. He's confusing pain with pleasure…"
"No, that never happened," Logan snapped defiantly, trying to shake the image that she was attempting to force into his mind, "I never hurt Scott. I would never betray his trust like that."
"Maybe not now, but what about Weapon X? What would he have done to his prey?" she suggested with a wiggle of her brow.
"You're about to find out," Logan decided with a snarl, holding nothing back on his rage. "I'm going to destroy you."
"You can't. You don't have it in you anymore because Scott's tamed you," she laughed in his face, shaking her head at him. Droplets of water from her long, auburn hair splashed in his face, "Even today you couldn't complete the task he'd set out to do because you're nothing more than a lap dog. Regardless it still doesn't change the core of what you are. It doesn't change the monster you have been through the years."
"You did that, didn't you?" he questioned meeting her madness heavy eyes again. "You killed that man back at the barn."
"Unlike you I've always put Scott first. I've protected him in every way imaginable and I will continue to do so in getting rid of you," she promised with a saccharine smirk, "It's only a matter of time."
"Jealousy doesn't suit you," Logan frowned back at her, "and this blatant misuse of powers you're throwing out there on Scott or even trying to do with me is beneath you. Just because you want to try to make someone believe something that isn't real, doesn't mean that they can't reject it. Stryker played that game with me time and time again, but it doesn't work. Even if you tried to make it feel real, we both know that it's your way of trying to cope with the fact that Scott chose me. It's your way of twisting the truth to compensate for what you couldn't hold onto with him."
"I knew it was the truth from the moment I first took your blood Logan. The truth was there in the testing and…" Jean argued with him, her words dripping with anger.
"What you found in me wasn't introduced to Scott by force on my end. I didn't hurt him. He knows that and…" Logan opened his mouth to protest.
"How can you be so certain Logan? You know nothing of the life you had before beyond the glimpses you've seen. You only knew of saving Scott through Scott's eyes, through his memory, but it doesn't explain why you were there to begin with," she offered up a haughty laugh, "You didn't really believe you were there to play the hero to a woman who betrayed you? To someone who meant nothing to you when she died? To someone who wasn't worth holding onto?"
"Shut up Jean," Logan snarled back at her.
"Face it Logan, you know yourself even less than you think you do. You like to believe that you're some kind of hero, some kind of savior to Scott, but at the end of the day you're the monster that tore his world apart. What the others did to him pales in comparison to what you did to him, to what you're still doing to him," Jean seethed with anger, "but rest assured one way or another I will set him free. I'll save him from you."
"You should be more worried about saving yourself Jean," Logan warned sharply, his patience running thin with each accusation she tossed out at him, "I know what you are and with every passing second it's clear what you're trying to do. It won't work."
"You don't know the first thing about me," she hissed, a shriek carrying over her blood red lips.
"Of course I do," he paused feeling a moment of strength overtake him, "Phoenix. All you think of is destruction and instinct. You don't feel love or compassion. Everything about you is primitive, raw and full of vengeance over knowing that it isn't Scott who is broken, but rather you that can't be fixed. Your manipulative ploys haven't done anything to steal away the one thing he craves the most in this world, which is me. You can try all you want, but you won't break me. You won't tear us apart even with all of your attempts at invading our thoughts and perverting them. Whether or not he's clinging to his sanity, he's never stopped holding onto me…long after you there's been me, only me."
"Shut up," she snarled back at him.
"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Logan taunted further, sliding his hand out from between them, "Rejection is twice as painful when not just one, but two potential lovers scorn you. Face it whatever appeal you might've had disappeared when Jean left the building. All that's left is the hollow remains of someone who simply won't face the fact that it's over and it is over. It's been that way for a very long time."
"Stop it!" she snapped back at him angrily.
"No, I don't think I will," Logan watched her features twist with madness, slipping from any kind of rational taunt to reckless insanity, her eyes darkening in preparation for a battle between them, "it's time to end this."
"It's never going to be over," she hissed, her skin bubbling over with a surge of power, body consumed with a faint glow of anger when Logan released his claws, sending them forward into the soft flesh of her abdomen. She shrieked throwing her head back in agony before her skin heated up around his claws, blood creating an inhuman warmth around him, building and expanding until a blinding light surrounded him. He groaned having to turn away when she exploded in a culmination of glass and flesh before him, transforming into nothingness.
"Damn it," he cursed reopening his eyes to discover that he was alone in the shower stall, claws buried in the wall before him, caught up in the moment between reality and his subconscious in the twisted perception he'd felt of Jean. Even now his heart raced, his mind was reeling with possibilities of what had just taken place, trying to decipher what was going on when there was a sound at the bathroom door. He turned his head to the side, seeing Scott rushing in with a worried expression on his face.
"I heard the noise and…" Scott began apologetically, preparing to excuse his intrusion when his eyes widened, taking note of Logan's claws flung out into the air where the shattered shower door had once been moments earlier. Worry creased over Scott's brow as Scott moved forward seeing the blood over Logan's forearm where glass had pierced his flesh and muscle, "Logan…"
"Stay back," Logan warned simply. He lowered his arms and took in a breath struggling to still the frantic racing of his heart, "please."
"You're bleeding," Scott replied softly, worry overtaking him in the moment, "your arm…"
"It'll heal," Logan answered dismissively, "I'll be fine, but I don't want you stepping in the glass."
"What's going on Logan?" Scott questioned worriedly, his eyes surveying the bathroom for any sign of what might have taken place to lead to Logan's outburst.
"You're not crazy Scott," Logan announced taking in a shallow breath to calm his nerves, "Far from it."
"I don't understand," Scott tipped his head to the side and gave Logan another long once over.
"Whatever it takes we need to end this once and for all," Logan mouthed cryptically knowing only too well if the vision he'd experienced was even half as vivid as the ones that Scott had been experiencing, then he would rip through heaven and hell in order to free Scott of the demons from the past one way or the other.
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