Until Yesterday, part 2
Part II
A/N: Hi again! Here's the second installment, hope ya'll enjoy. :-) There will be a third part to this, probably sometime in the next couple of weeks (don't take my word for it, though). Also, this is completely, totally unbetaed, and honestly I half-assed the editing because I'm lazy and/or tired, so any mistakes are entirely my bad. :-P I'd love to get some constructive feedback, so feel free to leave some in the comments. Thanks! :-)
Previously:
And just like that, JC’s brain went over the whole day with Justin and realized that, oh God, Justin had no idea that they had sex.
“Chris-oh my God. Chris…” JC whimpered. “Holy shit, Chris. What am I gonna do?”
The moment the world had been waiting for finally arrived: Chris had no snappy comeback.
“C, you can’t tell him.”
JC perched on the edge of his bed with his head cupped in the palm of his hand, suddenly tired beyond belief.
“I don’t know, Chris, I think he has a right to know…”
“And I would totally agree if this wasn’t Justin we were talking about. The kid will freak, and he’ll be all sullen and withdrawn when we go on Leno, and then he’ll freak even more about looking unprofessional in front of the fans, and it’ll all backfire on us. See? Not to mention he’d probably freak about looking like something happened between the two of you and end up withdrawing even more.”
JC sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “So, what, you just want me to pretend nothing happened and move on without him knowing? I can’t just--”
Chris’ face suddenly darkened into an expression somewhere between sadness and fury, “Damn it, JC, this isn’t something that’s just going to make things a bit awkward between the two of you. This could affect all of our lives. I’m not even being dramatic right now; this could seriously screw us over. What if he reacts badly? What if things become irreparable between you? What do we do then? Pretend we’re all best friends still? You’re fooling yourself if you think people wouldn’t latch onto the slightest hint of a dispute right away. So tell me, would you rather live with yourself knowing that this happened and he doesn’t remember it, or that our whole world crashed down on us while we’re on the highest pedestal because you couldn’t stand to keep it from him? After all we’ve been through, all the hard work we’ve put in to get to this spot, and you want to ruin it for something so damn trivial? Fuck you, JC, you got yourself into this, I’ll be damned if you take us all down.”
Chris’ eyes were practically spitting hellfire at this point, and with one last glare he spun around and strode out of the room, slamming the door shut for good measure. JC figured that was a stupid move for someone so obviously concerned with their wholesome, brotherly image. He dropped his head back into his hands and took a few shuddery breaths, before standing up only to pace around the room. It wasn’t fair that Chris was taking all of his anger out at him. He knew that Chris didn’t actually mean to say all those things; Chris only handled pressure in two ways: making jokes and pretending not to give a shit until he lashed out. The anger was only a remnant of fear from the weeks they spent fighting to keep their livelihood. Chris didn’t exactly say sorry after his outbursts, but he eventually apologized through his actions, whether it was tackling Justin to the ground and starting a tickle fight after a shouting match or letting Joey have the last slice of pizza after having throwing nasty nicknames at him. It was dysfunctional, sure, but it worked for them.
JC really did not want to think about the solution Chris gave him. Awful as it seemed, Chris was right about Justin. He was the one that was always worried about their image, what people thought of him, despite what he said in interviews. If rumors about them being queers were enough to set him off, the truth would probably be ten times worse. All he knew was this business, so anything that would compromise it was almost evil; something to be banished, gotten rid of, and never seen again. JC certainly did not want that.
But they were family, and JC couldn’t even comprehend the idea that they would cast him out because of something like this. Even Justin, for all his fear of being a novelty act, eventually cast away and forgotten, would put family before his career… wouldn’t he?
Was JC willing to put his career on the line by keeping this faith in the group, in Justin?
Because if he had learned anything in this line of work, it was that you get to know many, but can trust very few.
JC shook his head and slammed a fist into the bathroom door. There was no way he was going to start doubting the guys. They had been through too much together. Chris was wrong; letting Justin know wouldn’t ruin the group, keeping secrets would.
The only problem was how he was going to let Justin in on it…
JC approached Joey’s room just in time to hear loud screeching emanating from inside. JC gently reached towards the door and tapped on it, standing a ways away in order to have a clear path to run in case there was a fan-turned-axe murderer on the other side. Joey’s bodyguard didn’t come running, so he figured it was mostly safe… unless the bodyguard had been killed too, in which case he was pretty screwed either way…
“Goddamn it, Chris, I am so getting you back for this!” Joey screeched again and wrenched open the door, soaked head to toe but grinning despite his words. “Oh, Jayce! What’s happenin’, buddy? Hey, listen, do me a favor and go dig a shallow grave so I can kill Chris and not look suspicious lugging his body around.”
JC was opening his mouth to let Joey know that, no, he was not going to be an accessory to murder when a loud cackle echoed down the hallway.
“Oh man, Joey, I got you good!”
Joey guffawed and slapped his knee, “Justin! I should have known you’d be in on this, you little brat!”
Justin ran up to them and hopped onto Joey’s back, noogying him while screaming “April Fools!” Joey squealed and stumbled backwards into his room, and JC figured he might as well follow since standing in the hallway looking like a lost Alzheimer’s patient wouldn’t help him much.
“C, help me!” Justin cried, muffled under Joey’s larger body where he was pinned down on the floor. JC laughed and with a battle cry, jumped on Joey’s back. Any spare thought to his dismal situation was wiped away as he tried wrestling Joey away, though his skinniness put him at quite a disadvantage, as usual. As he was flung off for the fifth time, JC glanced at Justin and they nodded at each other, simultaneously jumping on Joey and finally managing to slay him down. Justin flung himself on JC with a huge grin, wrapping his arms around his neck and smacking a wet kiss on his cheek.
“My hero-o-o!” he sang in a high-pitched voice. Joey roared and piled on top of them, and JC was effectively crushed under their combined weight with a whoosh of air leaving his lungs. Justin let out a muffled laugh, his face squashed into JC’s neck, and JC could feel the warm tickle of his breath leave a trail of goose bumps on his flushed skin. Just as the situation was turning embarrassing, Joey let up and Lance walked in with the cheerful greeting of “what the hell, guys?”
Justin, however, did not move from his sprawled position on top of JC, and JC was starting to feel more than a little antsy.
“J, did you pass out or something?” he murmured with an awkward twist of a smile. Justin chuckled into his neck and shook his head, rolling off of him, but did not unglue himself from JC’s side and, more importantly, his neck. JC sat up rather gingerly, feeling the beginnings of a bruised tailbone. Justin rose with him and planted his head onto his shoulder with a grin at the other two guys, and suddenly JC felt like he was choking on the ever-thickening awkwardness saturating the room. But when he dared a glance at Joey and Lance, they were chatting to each other with no sign of anything unusual happening just a few feet away.
JC slipped an arm around Justin’s shoulder and chalked it up to the knowledge that he possessed and Justin didn’t. This was otherwise a normal situation, as Justin had done this very thing countless times before and it had never bothered him before. This was how the rifts started, he reminded himself. He couldn’t think of everything as a sign of something more; he was only creating tension where there was none.
But there was still a thick sense of something in the atmosphere that JC couldn’t shake.
“So, where’s Chris? He’s usually at the front of these shenanigans,” Lance rumbled from his lounging spot on Joey’s bed.
JC tensed involuntarily at the mention of Chris, making Justin peer up at him with curious eyes.
“Not sure, I haven’t seen him since earlier today. How about you two?” Joey turned to Justin and JC and grinned at their tangled up limbs. Justin shook his head and shrugged, removing himself from JC’s shoulder to stretch along the floor with a yawn. JC was not distracted.
“Uh… No. I mean, no, I haven’t seen him. Well, I saw him earlier, but… no, not recently, no.”
Lance raised an eyebrow at him much like earlier that day, but again decided against public humiliation for his friend. Justin just chuckled, his stretched out body shaking slightly.
“I bet he’s resting. It’s been a trying day, you know?” JC tried again, and felt successful if only because he had been able to get out a full sentence.
“This is Chris. When has he ever been the type to rest? Bounce against the walls, yeah, but rest? I think you’d have to give him a horse tranquilizer to get him to rest during the day,” Justin giggled, obviously pleased with his joke, though JC was sure he wouldn’t be so jolly if he found out why his best friend wasn’t tormenting them with his hyperactivity.
“You know what, I’ll go find him,” JC said and got up to walk to the door. Justin sat up as if to join him, but JC waved a hand at him to stop.
“Stay here, make sure Joey doesn’t torture Lance too much with weird impersonations,” he said and got a “hey!” from Joey, who was in the midst of acting out a scene from Blazing Saddles.
JC left with a final look at Justin, who looked oddly subdued from his spot on the floor.
JC had been standing by Chris’ door for a good part of the ten minutes that had passed since he left, his hand occasionally poised over the door in a frozen knock. What would he say to Chris, who had so clearly told him that he was easily replaceable if he made the wrong move? Chris, who worked so damn hard and got far less acknowledgement than he deserved… who, for all his jokes, was scared of being the one left behind if shit hit the fan. Chris had felt what it was like growing up with nothing, and he would do anything to make sure he and his family wouldn’t have to go through it again. JC could understand it, truly. So JC stood there, completely unsure of everything, afraid of what might happen if Chris answered the door.
“Are you gonna stand there for much longer? Because I’d really like to get in my room now,” Chris’ voice sounded behind him, tired far beyond his 28 years. JC whirled around, hand still frozen mid-air, to where Chris was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed and a miserable crease in the corners of his mouth.
“Chris, I-“JC began, without really comprehending where he was going to take this conversation. Chris interrupted.
“No, JC, don’t,” and if those three words didn’t put fear into JC’s stomach. He started protesting again, but Chris held up a stiff hand.
“Let me talk, please. Listen…” he let out a profound sigh and wiped a hand over his face. “C, I’m so sorry. I was so, so wrong in saying what I did. It was… unfair. Cruel, even. We’re supposed to be family and I totally threw you under the bus. I’ve been freaking agonizing over it all afternoon. I just… I want everything to be perfect, but out of everyone I should know that perfect just isn’t possible, and it’s definitely not acceptable to screw over your friends trying to attain it. So I’m sorry. And if there’s any way I can help--”
JC dashed across the room and drew Chris into a hug, which Chris returned with a thump on the back.
“I think that’s the first non-sarcastic apology I’ve heard from you. I’m honored,” JC said with a grin, patting Chris’ shoulder for good measure. Chris pouted and crossed his arms, “I’m being all sincere and you make fun of me? Not cool, man.”
JC laughed with a crinkle of his eyes, feeling better for the first time since he woke up to this mess. Was it only this morning? The residual stress in JC’s muscles said that weeks had passed, but in reality it had been less than eight hours.
JC slid down the wall and brought his knees up to his chest with a tortured sigh. Chris slid down after him and threw him a smile and an arm around his shoulders, drawing him in. Chris must have been on some sort of comforting kick out of guilt, or else he was abducted by pod people, because JC was just not used to this kind of passive, tame attention from him. Not that it was a bad change. JC turned to face him with a smile of his own, mostly with the intent of encouraging this type of behavior for the sake of all his bus mates.
At that moment, Justin walked into the hallway. He stopped upon seeing the two crouched in a corner, and JC greeted him with a grin.
Or he would have, had he not seen the storm brewing on Justin’s face.
“What the hell?!”
A/N: Hi again! Here's the second installment, hope ya'll enjoy. :-) There will be a third part to this, probably sometime in the next couple of weeks (don't take my word for it, though). Also, this is completely, totally unbetaed, and honestly I half-assed the editing because I'm lazy and/or tired, so any mistakes are entirely my bad. :-P I'd love to get some constructive feedback, so feel free to leave some in the comments. Thanks! :-)
Previously:
And just like that, JC’s brain went over the whole day with Justin and realized that, oh God, Justin had no idea that they had sex.
“Chris-oh my God. Chris…” JC whimpered. “Holy shit, Chris. What am I gonna do?”
The moment the world had been waiting for finally arrived: Chris had no snappy comeback.
“C, you can’t tell him.”
JC perched on the edge of his bed with his head cupped in the palm of his hand, suddenly tired beyond belief.
“I don’t know, Chris, I think he has a right to know…”
“And I would totally agree if this wasn’t Justin we were talking about. The kid will freak, and he’ll be all sullen and withdrawn when we go on Leno, and then he’ll freak even more about looking unprofessional in front of the fans, and it’ll all backfire on us. See? Not to mention he’d probably freak about looking like something happened between the two of you and end up withdrawing even more.”
JC sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “So, what, you just want me to pretend nothing happened and move on without him knowing? I can’t just--”
Chris’ face suddenly darkened into an expression somewhere between sadness and fury, “Damn it, JC, this isn’t something that’s just going to make things a bit awkward between the two of you. This could affect all of our lives. I’m not even being dramatic right now; this could seriously screw us over. What if he reacts badly? What if things become irreparable between you? What do we do then? Pretend we’re all best friends still? You’re fooling yourself if you think people wouldn’t latch onto the slightest hint of a dispute right away. So tell me, would you rather live with yourself knowing that this happened and he doesn’t remember it, or that our whole world crashed down on us while we’re on the highest pedestal because you couldn’t stand to keep it from him? After all we’ve been through, all the hard work we’ve put in to get to this spot, and you want to ruin it for something so damn trivial? Fuck you, JC, you got yourself into this, I’ll be damned if you take us all down.”
Chris’ eyes were practically spitting hellfire at this point, and with one last glare he spun around and strode out of the room, slamming the door shut for good measure. JC figured that was a stupid move for someone so obviously concerned with their wholesome, brotherly image. He dropped his head back into his hands and took a few shuddery breaths, before standing up only to pace around the room. It wasn’t fair that Chris was taking all of his anger out at him. He knew that Chris didn’t actually mean to say all those things; Chris only handled pressure in two ways: making jokes and pretending not to give a shit until he lashed out. The anger was only a remnant of fear from the weeks they spent fighting to keep their livelihood. Chris didn’t exactly say sorry after his outbursts, but he eventually apologized through his actions, whether it was tackling Justin to the ground and starting a tickle fight after a shouting match or letting Joey have the last slice of pizza after having throwing nasty nicknames at him. It was dysfunctional, sure, but it worked for them.
JC really did not want to think about the solution Chris gave him. Awful as it seemed, Chris was right about Justin. He was the one that was always worried about their image, what people thought of him, despite what he said in interviews. If rumors about them being queers were enough to set him off, the truth would probably be ten times worse. All he knew was this business, so anything that would compromise it was almost evil; something to be banished, gotten rid of, and never seen again. JC certainly did not want that.
But they were family, and JC couldn’t even comprehend the idea that they would cast him out because of something like this. Even Justin, for all his fear of being a novelty act, eventually cast away and forgotten, would put family before his career… wouldn’t he?
Was JC willing to put his career on the line by keeping this faith in the group, in Justin?
Because if he had learned anything in this line of work, it was that you get to know many, but can trust very few.
JC shook his head and slammed a fist into the bathroom door. There was no way he was going to start doubting the guys. They had been through too much together. Chris was wrong; letting Justin know wouldn’t ruin the group, keeping secrets would.
The only problem was how he was going to let Justin in on it…
JC approached Joey’s room just in time to hear loud screeching emanating from inside. JC gently reached towards the door and tapped on it, standing a ways away in order to have a clear path to run in case there was a fan-turned-axe murderer on the other side. Joey’s bodyguard didn’t come running, so he figured it was mostly safe… unless the bodyguard had been killed too, in which case he was pretty screwed either way…
“Goddamn it, Chris, I am so getting you back for this!” Joey screeched again and wrenched open the door, soaked head to toe but grinning despite his words. “Oh, Jayce! What’s happenin’, buddy? Hey, listen, do me a favor and go dig a shallow grave so I can kill Chris and not look suspicious lugging his body around.”
JC was opening his mouth to let Joey know that, no, he was not going to be an accessory to murder when a loud cackle echoed down the hallway.
“Oh man, Joey, I got you good!”
Joey guffawed and slapped his knee, “Justin! I should have known you’d be in on this, you little brat!”
Justin ran up to them and hopped onto Joey’s back, noogying him while screaming “April Fools!” Joey squealed and stumbled backwards into his room, and JC figured he might as well follow since standing in the hallway looking like a lost Alzheimer’s patient wouldn’t help him much.
“C, help me!” Justin cried, muffled under Joey’s larger body where he was pinned down on the floor. JC laughed and with a battle cry, jumped on Joey’s back. Any spare thought to his dismal situation was wiped away as he tried wrestling Joey away, though his skinniness put him at quite a disadvantage, as usual. As he was flung off for the fifth time, JC glanced at Justin and they nodded at each other, simultaneously jumping on Joey and finally managing to slay him down. Justin flung himself on JC with a huge grin, wrapping his arms around his neck and smacking a wet kiss on his cheek.
“My hero-o-o!” he sang in a high-pitched voice. Joey roared and piled on top of them, and JC was effectively crushed under their combined weight with a whoosh of air leaving his lungs. Justin let out a muffled laugh, his face squashed into JC’s neck, and JC could feel the warm tickle of his breath leave a trail of goose bumps on his flushed skin. Just as the situation was turning embarrassing, Joey let up and Lance walked in with the cheerful greeting of “what the hell, guys?”
Justin, however, did not move from his sprawled position on top of JC, and JC was starting to feel more than a little antsy.
“J, did you pass out or something?” he murmured with an awkward twist of a smile. Justin chuckled into his neck and shook his head, rolling off of him, but did not unglue himself from JC’s side and, more importantly, his neck. JC sat up rather gingerly, feeling the beginnings of a bruised tailbone. Justin rose with him and planted his head onto his shoulder with a grin at the other two guys, and suddenly JC felt like he was choking on the ever-thickening awkwardness saturating the room. But when he dared a glance at Joey and Lance, they were chatting to each other with no sign of anything unusual happening just a few feet away.
JC slipped an arm around Justin’s shoulder and chalked it up to the knowledge that he possessed and Justin didn’t. This was otherwise a normal situation, as Justin had done this very thing countless times before and it had never bothered him before. This was how the rifts started, he reminded himself. He couldn’t think of everything as a sign of something more; he was only creating tension where there was none.
But there was still a thick sense of something in the atmosphere that JC couldn’t shake.
“So, where’s Chris? He’s usually at the front of these shenanigans,” Lance rumbled from his lounging spot on Joey’s bed.
JC tensed involuntarily at the mention of Chris, making Justin peer up at him with curious eyes.
“Not sure, I haven’t seen him since earlier today. How about you two?” Joey turned to Justin and JC and grinned at their tangled up limbs. Justin shook his head and shrugged, removing himself from JC’s shoulder to stretch along the floor with a yawn. JC was not distracted.
“Uh… No. I mean, no, I haven’t seen him. Well, I saw him earlier, but… no, not recently, no.”
Lance raised an eyebrow at him much like earlier that day, but again decided against public humiliation for his friend. Justin just chuckled, his stretched out body shaking slightly.
“I bet he’s resting. It’s been a trying day, you know?” JC tried again, and felt successful if only because he had been able to get out a full sentence.
“This is Chris. When has he ever been the type to rest? Bounce against the walls, yeah, but rest? I think you’d have to give him a horse tranquilizer to get him to rest during the day,” Justin giggled, obviously pleased with his joke, though JC was sure he wouldn’t be so jolly if he found out why his best friend wasn’t tormenting them with his hyperactivity.
“You know what, I’ll go find him,” JC said and got up to walk to the door. Justin sat up as if to join him, but JC waved a hand at him to stop.
“Stay here, make sure Joey doesn’t torture Lance too much with weird impersonations,” he said and got a “hey!” from Joey, who was in the midst of acting out a scene from Blazing Saddles.
JC left with a final look at Justin, who looked oddly subdued from his spot on the floor.
JC had been standing by Chris’ door for a good part of the ten minutes that had passed since he left, his hand occasionally poised over the door in a frozen knock. What would he say to Chris, who had so clearly told him that he was easily replaceable if he made the wrong move? Chris, who worked so damn hard and got far less acknowledgement than he deserved… who, for all his jokes, was scared of being the one left behind if shit hit the fan. Chris had felt what it was like growing up with nothing, and he would do anything to make sure he and his family wouldn’t have to go through it again. JC could understand it, truly. So JC stood there, completely unsure of everything, afraid of what might happen if Chris answered the door.
“Are you gonna stand there for much longer? Because I’d really like to get in my room now,” Chris’ voice sounded behind him, tired far beyond his 28 years. JC whirled around, hand still frozen mid-air, to where Chris was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed and a miserable crease in the corners of his mouth.
“Chris, I-“JC began, without really comprehending where he was going to take this conversation. Chris interrupted.
“No, JC, don’t,” and if those three words didn’t put fear into JC’s stomach. He started protesting again, but Chris held up a stiff hand.
“Let me talk, please. Listen…” he let out a profound sigh and wiped a hand over his face. “C, I’m so sorry. I was so, so wrong in saying what I did. It was… unfair. Cruel, even. We’re supposed to be family and I totally threw you under the bus. I’ve been freaking agonizing over it all afternoon. I just… I want everything to be perfect, but out of everyone I should know that perfect just isn’t possible, and it’s definitely not acceptable to screw over your friends trying to attain it. So I’m sorry. And if there’s any way I can help--”
JC dashed across the room and drew Chris into a hug, which Chris returned with a thump on the back.
“I think that’s the first non-sarcastic apology I’ve heard from you. I’m honored,” JC said with a grin, patting Chris’ shoulder for good measure. Chris pouted and crossed his arms, “I’m being all sincere and you make fun of me? Not cool, man.”
JC laughed with a crinkle of his eyes, feeling better for the first time since he woke up to this mess. Was it only this morning? The residual stress in JC’s muscles said that weeks had passed, but in reality it had been less than eight hours.
JC slid down the wall and brought his knees up to his chest with a tortured sigh. Chris slid down after him and threw him a smile and an arm around his shoulders, drawing him in. Chris must have been on some sort of comforting kick out of guilt, or else he was abducted by pod people, because JC was just not used to this kind of passive, tame attention from him. Not that it was a bad change. JC turned to face him with a smile of his own, mostly with the intent of encouraging this type of behavior for the sake of all his bus mates.
At that moment, Justin walked into the hallway. He stopped upon seeing the two crouched in a corner, and JC greeted him with a grin.
Or he would have, had he not seen the storm brewing on Justin’s face.
“What the hell?!”