Prompt #3: Water Falls

[mrstater]

Title: Water Falls
Author: MrsTater
Format & Word Count: one-shot, 2256 words
Rating: R
Prompt: #3 - distance
Warning: sex
Summary: The Battle Of the Seven Potters bereaves Tonks of her mentor after an attempt on her life. The aftermath.
Author's Note: This is only the third Deathly Hallows-era piece I've attempted since last June, and it's still

Comments

[shimotsuki]

I enthusiastically applaud this plausible, character-consistent backstory for the fact that Remus didn't look to Tonks to join him in the search for her mentor. "...Mad-Eye fell a long way" -- I didn't even stop to consider the consequences of that when I was reading DH. Ick. But you've made what we see in canon make more sense, which is always a good thing.

DH issues aside, this is lovely. I especially like the way you take the intensity of their feelings for Mad-Eye and their hatred of Bellatrix and Snape, and propel that right through into an intense encounter between the two of them. Then the feeling of peace that ends the story is a lovely sense of resolution (for now, at least).

...soldiering and loyalty and need converge into man and woman, husband and wife, lovers--who have only each other left in all the wide world, who nearly lost one another tonight, who have already had too many close shaves, who might lose each other tomorrow.That line is such a perfect pivot for the transition in the mood of this piece, and it's

[mrstater]

"...Mad-Eye fell a long way" -- I didn't even stop to consider the consequences of that when I was reading DH. Ick. Heh - I think that probably wasn't what anyone had in mind for the "distance" prompt, but my mind works in twisted ways sometimes...Nonetheless I'm very, very glad you feel this was a good explanation for a sort of baffling scene. Remus is so brusque in that chapter that it's a little jarring at first, but after several read-throughs I decided that given how Operation: Move Harry turn out to be mostly a disaster, and poor Remus had to fear the worst while Tonks was late getting back, and possibly two Weasley kids were hurt/killed, he's probably entitled to be short with everyone! (Especially since That Harry Kid was sort of directly responsible for it all going to pot by revealing himself to be the true Harry

[shimotsuki]

is it helping you to calm some of your personal DH quibbles through writing "All That I Am?" Because I was really surprised that addressing some of my own things in this fic really helped me a lot, and I'm looking forward to doing more DH-era.

I'm glad you are! I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

I've actually had ideas ever since reading DH about how to make some of the apparently odd things about Remus's and Tonks's characterizations fit plausibly into the Kaleidoscope ficverse. "All That I Am" is definitely part of that process. What's been hardest for me, though, was getting to where I could even think about DH long enough to write DH-era fics. And what's finally helped with that is (rrgh, I seem to be confessing this all over LJ this week)..."By A Thread." Heh. I like angsty when I know there's a happy ending waiting, so letting my brain go AU makes DH-era fic fun (well, except for poor Ted). I will keep "Kaleidoscope" itself totally canon-compliant, but knowing that I've got a canon-denial scenario to

[mrstater]

I've actually had ideas ever since reading DH about how to make some of the apparently odd things about Remus's and Tonks's characterizations fit plausibly into the Kaleidoscope ficverse.

That's my thing -- I don't think anything from the book, except the ending, of course, really conflicts with anything I wanted to do in Caring For Magical Creatures. I don't have a problem with the storyline up until the end, it's just the way it's executed so sloppily and open to rather negative interpretation that frustrates me as a writer. I was hoping DH would be R/T's chance to stop having to justify the characters' actions, which is why I've mainly avoided writing DH fic thus far. But I'm finding it surprisingly more enjoyable to address these things than I expected. Maybe it's this new Tonks-centric angle on it. I think I can safely say I'll never carry a fic all the way to the end of DH, though, because I just don't believe it

[merryb87]

First off wow! this is amazing! It works beautifully with cannon. And it really sets the tone of DH, wonderful work.

"She said she couldn't decide whether it would be more fun to kill me herself, or to capture us both and feed me to you next full moon. She asked if you'd mind her playing with your food first."

That was so disturbing, but so amazingly Bellatrix, I can imagine her saying this to Tonks. So well done with all the characters you mentioned keeping them very much in character throughout the story, never ever faltering.

[mrstater]

And I must say wow, thank you very much! I'm so pleased you think this fits canon in content and tone -- that was something that made me quite nervous as I began this, that I was injecting too much of what I wanted that what actually happens would be lost.

Thanks for your words about the Bellatrix bit, too. I'm always kind of worried about going over the top with her, so I'm very glad you found her IC.

I really appreciate your feedback. :)

[tegdoh]

I'd just like to add my voice to the chorus of 'I liked this very much.' It gave a very plausible explanation for their behavior that night, and a much more realistic portrayal of Tonks than we see in DH, imho. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to more DH fics from you.

[mrstater]

Thank you very much for reading and commenting! I'm still not very comfortable writing DH, so I'm very encouranged to know you think my approach is plausible.

[drumher]

There's no better way to start my day than a fic from mrstater! Especially one with a little lovin' included. ;)

But as lovely at that part was, the search for Mad Eye's body and all that involved, helped take the sting out of that scene from DH. Of course the stressful situation and his concern for his wife would make Remus a bit short, it's just nice to to have it explained more fully. And you do a fabulous job, as always.

Oh and that comment from Bellatrix? Woah. She's seriously twisted.

[mrstater]

Aw, I'm glad you enjoyed starting your day with a shower. ;) Thank you for reading and for your lovely comments. I'm so pleased you feel this expands the scene at the Burrow believably. Though I'm slightly frightened that I can think of twisted things for Bellatrix to say...

[pinkhairedauror]

This is... so strong! I admire the depth of emotion you reach - and succeed - to convey. And it fits, at a time when it's all so RAW. *shudders* and those words of Bellatrix... are totally horrifying.

Again you paint the images in awesome relief and realism in my mind, and I am in awe!

-- this goes directly to be added to memories. Beautiful!

[mrstater]

Thank you very much for your lovely comments. It's a great compliment that you want to save this to read again. I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed the piece and felt that it conveyed realistic emotions for Remus and Tonks to feel at this time.