[Fic] KismetJeska: The Breath of All Things
[ Dean/Castiel ]
Title: The Breath of All Things
Writer: KismetJeska
Status of work: complete
Characters and/or pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Jess
Rating: PG-13
Warnings, kinks & contents:[Click to read]minor character death, suicide attempt
Length: 65,389
Summary: Dean Winchester was twenty-six years old when a car accident killed his father and left him paralysed from the waist down. A year and a half later, Dean is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. It's only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one.
Reccer's notes: This story has more or less ruined me for any other story dealing with disability, as I've yet to see another author handle the subject this well and have a hard time imagining that I ever will. Although it's labeled hurt/comfort, the focus isn't on Dean's helplessness and Castiel's caretaking: in fact, Dean is never without agency and Castiel is not Dean's nurse but a friend, confidant, and eventual partner. All of the improvements in Dean’s life come down to Dean - his choices, his actions, his determination - as he learns that while his life isn't the one he envisioned for himself, it's still one worth living.
[Short excerpt]“Like you have any honour,” Sam snorts. “Though if I'm being honest, I wasn’t sure at first.”
“Not that you get any say in it- but why not?”
It takes Sam a while to phrase his reply. “You’ve been really alone for a really long time, Dean. You didn’t see many people, you weren’t in the best headspace, and I thought maybe… Cas could be taking advantage of you. Don’t look at me like that,” he says defensively. “I’m not gonna apologise for wanting what’s best for you. Yeah, I was worried. Sue me.”
“Was worried, huh?” Dean says tightly, ready to lash out if he has to. “Something change your mind?”
“Yeah,” Sam says. “Today. When you said you were special, you should’ve seen the way he looked at you. It was like… you said it as a joke, and he knew that, but it didn’t feel like a joke to him. I see the way Jess looks at me sometimes- and man, I thank God that she does- and that’s the way he looked at you. Like you were the only thing in the room worth paying attention to.”
“This conversation is over.”
“Noted,” Sam says. “I’m just… I’m happy for you, okay?”
“Over, Sammy,” Dean stresses, and Sam holds his hands up.