cinderella's got to go......

Jun 12, 2004 12:22

hehe. cheesy i know. but you know what? this little britney spears ditty sums up everything that happened this week between paris and i. last night, on my way out to the club to hang out with amber "yay she's back from florida to visit" davis!!!! we haven't exactly been on the up and ups this week anyways, and last night was just the straw that broke the camel's back. i really do like the boy, he's the only boy i've ever been emotionally attached to. it's going to hurt a little while, but hey, you gotta get over stuff. it's been 3 months ,and i've barely seen him. in fact, it's only been twice. not to mention he would get so jealous if i went out with my friends, or said hi to someone while he was on the phone, or not talk to him all nite long. when i'm dating someone, i give them attention, but i've never been one to stop my life for a man. and i have, am not, and will never been anyone who chooses a guy over my long time friends. it's just not me. so last night he was supposed to be coming down with his friend. well, he didn't even call me at all for 2 hours, then all of a sudden he calls. apparently they had a blow out, and her spare had no air in it. so he went back home in a pissy mood. so he's all, "i'm sorry, i wanted to see you, and you could be out with your friends right now, but you had to wait for me...go with your friends, you need to see them, she's only in town a couple of days." so eventually i was like...ok. so then he cops an attitude. so i'm driving and then he calls back and is like, "where are you?" and i'm all, driving. and he's like, uummmm, ok then i will talk to you next week. i'm like, next week?!!! so then he goes into this huge thing about how he was "testing" me to see who i would choose, my friends or him. and i'm like, fuck this , this is retarded. i'm not a child, i'm not in school, and no one runs me. you're not supposed to test people in a relationship. you're supposed to trust them and communicate effectively with them. and yeah, so we're talking and he's basically going on about how don't put him first yada yada yada. i'm like, i never go out, i have been lately cos of my friends, i just turned 21, and the last 3 months of my life have dedicated to him. i've been a perfect fucking boyfriend, and i'm no one's going to make me believe that i'm not. he just has issues with his ex boyfriends and compares me to them, which i am not, i am me. so he ended up saying something like, i might call you next week, maybe not, so i'm like, no fuck this. i can't make you love me, i can't please you, nothing that i do is enough, and you'll never be satisfied. if we were going to end this, i at least wanted to be friends and that's not good enough for you, so i wish you luck in life, god bless you, and take care. then i hung up. end of that. it was weird, i almost cried, but something just wouldn't let me. then i got to the club to see all my friends i haven't seen in forever. and some i'd never met. well, one of holly's friends was there, she is so adorable, a cute lil black chick. and oh my freakin' goodness. we were dancing ,and the dance floor actually cleared just to watch us. then, it was so hot, and i didn't want to stop dancing, so i, yes, dontavius brooks, lil shy me, decides to flip my shirt behind my back, so my stomach and chest and everything are showing. i've never done that, i've never been the , "hey let's take my shirt off so everyone can see" kinda guy. but i guess i am now. and besides, it wasn't for show, it was for heat disspating but yeah, then we all went back to denny's and amber's asleep on my couch right now. i woke up and felt like "early morning" lol. cos i got four hours of sleep the night before, then was out till 4:30 last night. but it's all good. it's all for amber ,and i can't wait to spend more time with her. so yeah, paris and i are over, but i do feel kind of relieve. i mean, god knows what he's doing and never lets anything happen that's not supposed to. so i'm putting my faith in him, like always to steer me in the right direction. and as fun as last night was, i couldn't help but put everything aside and just enjoy life. it's too short to be depressed over something. and what happened was not my fault, just two people with two different paths in life. i'll miss him, but i also need someone who trusts me, and a little less overprotective. anyways, sorry for making you read all this. just needed to take care everyone and until next time......*mwah*!!!

"i was taught not to run away,
cos raindrops will always fall on my face
when it seems like all hope is gone....
gotta get through the storm , before you can see the dawn
this is all i am, this is all i know
and i won't never , ever let go
no i won't let go"

"i'm sorry just trying to live my life,
don't worry, you're gonna be alright
but cinderella's got to go...
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