Writing difficulties...

[readingredhead]

So my story is arguing with itself as to who should narrate.  I've got two candidates for who needs to do it, but I don't think I'll be able to keep it a "short" story if I allow them both to narrate.  Besides, for the majority of the story, the two characters tell about the same deeds.

Really, 90% of the story needs to be told from Hypatia's POV

Comments

[alexandria_skye]

i think that telling most of it from hypatia, and switching to lysander in the end is a good idea.
in the segment that you posted, i really liked how lysander was rather (an understatement) mysterious. i am quite fond of keeping hypatia the principle narrator, but of course, i don't really have any comparison.
this is very exciting... :) sorry for being somewhat of a rabid fangirl... ;P

[readingredhead]

Thanks so much for actually responding to this! I agree, I want to keep Lysander a little less defined -- not mysterious, per se, just characterized more by his words and actions than his thoughts. Especially because for the beginning of the story, at least, his thoughts would probably all look a lot like "WTF???" as he's introduced to new and insane (to his eyes) concepts.

And I don't mind the rabid fangirl-ness. It's rather flattering...I've just got to work now at not getting a big head. :)