Confession--and a cry for help

[queeberquabbler]

I'm not sure I'll ever write again. Ever since my failure to complete my draft in time for last year's J2 Big Bang, I've barely written a thing. It's not just writer's block, it's writer's blah. I used to wake up Sunday morning just jazzed to get writing; now i can't even go in my office. What is WRONG with me? I still have ideas, i still get new

Comments

[matchboximpala]

Does this mean you got your internet access back?

I'm sorry to hear you are having difficulty writing. I wish I could give you some advice, but I am not a writer myself. Successful writers do seem to have a great balance of creative ideas, writing skills, and discipline. I know you have the first two -- do you feel like you are lacking the third? Or perhaps just having a crisis of confidence? Are there LJ writing communities you could join that might spur you into writing every day? Maybe you could set aside the idea of a novel right now and just work on smaller pieces to get you back into the swing of things?

[queeberquabbler]

Yup, home interwebs be working again :)

You're right about the lack of discipline--that's definitely part of the problem. But it's not that simple. Right now, I feel like writing is pointless. I don't want to write, much less hold myself to finishing something. I need...something. I don't know what. Inspiration? Drive? A kick in the pants? Maybe all three. And I have worked on shorter pieces, but they aren't getting done either. I've been stuck on finishing one scene since last September--a SCENE, not even a whole chapter! That's why I feel so hopeless right now.

[ferrous_wheeler]

First off - 'big hug!* Sounds like you've lost faith in yourself because of last year's bb. You are a talented writer and I've really enjoyed your fics. Maybe don't put so much pressure on yourself - if you've got an idea maybe just doodle with it to see where it goes, no expectations, just have fun and see where the writing takes you. It may be nowhere, just some scribbles on a page that make you smile, or your novel, but the important part is that you enjoy it.
Be kind to yourself, have faith in your talent and write what pleases you, with no expectation that it has to be a certain way; if it makes you happy then it's enough.
*big hug again*

[queeberquabbler]

I don't know if it makes me happy anymore :( but I think that's the writer's blah talking. All I know is that I used to love it, and now I use any excuse to avoid it. Not good.

[ferrous_wheeler]

Maybe try something different that is creative? Or maybe try writing in a different location like a library or coffee shop? But above all, give yourself permission not to write if you don't want to. Your talent is there and nothing can take it away, and it'll still be there whenever you decide to write again :)

[queeberquabbler]

I used to love writing longhand in coffee shops, but even that has become too daunting. ::sighs:: But thank you so much for your kind words. You've helped me smile at a time when I'm trying to keep my head above water, so to speak. ::HUGS::

[ann_tara]

Big HUGS! I'm sorry you're experiencing problems, and it definitely sounds like you've gotten yourself into a loop which is keeping you from realizing your dream. I'm not sure I have any good advice for you right now. Is it possible you could sign up for a writing class at a local college, where you would be forced to write something as part of the curriculum that might shake you loose enough to get back to the kind of writing you want to do? It's an idea.

[queeberquabbler]

I have a BA in English with an emphasis on Creative Writing from the UW-Madison, which happens to be the local college. Going back there feels like a huge step backward for me. Still, it's not a bad idea to try and find someone or something to write for again. I just don't know if I've even got the gumption to look for a local writing group. I feel so aimless and I hate it :-P

[liliaeth]

I seem to have the same problem, and I just don't know what to do about it either. It's been that way since I had my operation two years ago, and ever since, it's like... even when I have the time to write, I get too easily distracted and end up wasting time, instead of writing, no matter how many ideas I've got;

*hugs*

[queeberquabbler]

We're both stuck in this boat with no way to get out. I'm so sorry you're going through this, too :( ::gentle HUGS::

[sanshal]

Oh, sweety; of course you'll write again! Your works are still ones I come back to for re-reads time and again and that kind of talent just doesn't disappear overnight. 'kay? So don't worry.

If you ask me, I think you're so worried about not being able to write that your fear is actually scaring your muse into silence. So relax. It doesn't matter if you can't/ don't write for a few months... you will. .. eventually. So relax and use the time to catch up on ...your reading , maybe? If you find a fic good enough, maybe it'll make your muse jealous enough to return.

And confession? I haven't written (fic) in a while myself. I have like 5 plot lines in my head but no actual time to sit and put them down. It's maddening.(Like having a bee constantly annoying you with it's buzzing.) And I just want them written, you know? So if you want,(-since you own ideas don't seem to be doing the trick for the moment-) I could make a prompt out of it and send you, and you could try your hand at it? Maybe something different will help the creative

[queeberquabbler]

I don't want to write fics right now, unfortunately. I'd really like to get my novel done--maybe get paid for it, too. But I'd try anything to get writing again. You're right about my fear scaring away my muses--I haven't heard from them in ages. I hope they're somewhere on a nice vacation--they deserve one! I don't blame them for not wanting to come back, though.