Late one Saturday night

[ptownnyc]

I've been up in the country since Tuesday, taking a "staycation" after realizing that 1) I had only taken 7 vacation days so far this year, and 2) my level of burnout was so bad I was ripping apart at the seams. It has been just me and the kitties, though my oldest friend came and stayed for a day. God, how I have needed some time by myself.

Comments

[tinman11201]

exactly. I never really thought of myself as an introvert, but I thoroughly agree with your statement and even though it seems like I'm having a great time being out with people, it physically and emotionally drains me and I have to retreat and be alone to build up the energy to be out with people again. And, like you, I really enjoy being out with people, but if it's not in an intimate setting with a small select group of friends where there is an exchange of energy and I feel I'm getting that energy returned to me, I get too drained. I suppose that means I too easily give out my energy and it doesn't get returned fast enough for me to stay energized.

[ptownnyc]

It has been very refreshing!

[tinman11201]

Wow, this particular post truly resonated with me as I seem to operate in the same way. I really need large chucks of alone time to recharge from being out in public.

People tend to tell me that I'm always happy and outgoing and personable, which is kind of true, but sometimes that is just the public persona that I play, and like you, if I have to be with people too long without some down/alone time, I tend to get very cranky and irritated with everyone. So I tend to limit the amount of time I spend out socially.

Also, like you, my partner is now working at home and I don't get much , if any, true alone time, and it's getting to me. I truly love being in this relationship, but sometimes I think that I wasn't meant to live full time with anyone, that my home base should be where I can be alone.

[ptownnyc]

And how do we discuss this with our partners without hurting them? It is nothing wrong with them, nor is it a reflection of our love for them. But that need for alone time is an issue that is not going to go away.

I need to have a talk with hubby this weekend about it. I need to have this as a more regular part of our relationship, until he starts traveling for work again. I don't want to resent him, as it honestly has nothing to do with him!

[tinman11201]

Exactly! There doesn't seem to be an easy way of describing to the partner without some hurt feelings.

[jawnbc]

Me too x 2, as a kid and now.

bitterlawngnome acknowledged my introverted nature. I get over it because of what it does for others rather than for me. I like me time and I love being surrounded in love. I want it all. :)

[ptownnyc]

LOL, yes. That is my schizo brain. Too long without a crowd and laughing, and I go crazy. Too long without alone time, and I go crazy!

ARGH!

[ptownnyc]

You naughty boy :)

[_candide_]

epinoid and I made (or tried to make) a conscious effort to have our own personal-spaces in the house. This way, we can have our alone-time when we need it.

We're both MBTI "Introverts" (which is what the description of introvert/extrovert given by 2manynotes an dtinman11201 is). So, that makes it easier. I've been told that in "mixed relationships," the MBTI-extrovert of the pair can get insecure and hurt by the need of their MBTI-introvert partner to, "go inward."

What you're doing is quite correct, Paul. You then need to negotiate alone-time so that you can recover. I suggest having your hubby read up on the MBTI, namely the introvert-extrovert axis, if he's not familiar with it and is an MBTI-extrovert.

(Just remember that the hubby gets to negotiate his own version of recharge-time with you, as well. ^_^)