I used to be able to write interesting entries, things people would want to read and interact with.  Now I'm just too damn tired.  Empty.  Sad.    I logged on to write something and realize I have nothing to share except more whining.  Not worth the energy of pushing down the keys on the keyboard ( Read more... )

Someone is going to push one button too many today, and I feel sorry for whoever that might be, because my patience and my temper and my empathy, it's gone.  Done.  Finished.  Bring it on.  If something or someone does not smash and break into a million jagged pieces today, I think I will honest to freaking god lose my mind.  I'm doing everything I ( Read more... )

Sad.  Things go from good to not so much anymore so quickly, don't they?  Like in general.  It's like an ongoing hunt for good, I find it and maybe, in my constant thirst for "happy" and "good" I suck it dry before it can naturally replenish. Or maybe I just use up my quota and that's all there is. I've always sucked at budgeting.

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Fatigue, exhaustion, pain, all at same levels as yesterday. Ambien again last night - think I'll try to not use one tonight and see if the feeling of fatigue/drugged changes - I am always paranoid that part of this is caused by the drugs meant to help ( Read more... )

Found out that coworker who I got to know pretty well before she went on sick leave passed away Saturday - this was her third round of breast cancer, and nothing was killing the tumors this time ( Read more... )

Finally got LoudTwitter to work, my god I babble too much.  Don't know if I'll keep that going.

Started the day ok moodwise, woke to wonderful birthday wishes from the people that really really matter.  Feel myself sliding into sad.  Looking forward to bedtime now.


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14.  How did that happen.  The little boy eternally on my hip is now almost able to pick ME up.  Time speeds up so quickly when you're too busy to look, doesn't it?  He gets to open a couple of gifts later today, and pick where to go to dinner, which should be nice - I'm going to leave work an hour early to make it less hectic of an evening ( Read more... )

That was among the scariest drives to work I've undertaken - weird that it happens when I live 12 miles from work, rather than when I had to commute all the way to Boston. The Nor'easter hitting us now really kicked into gear around 6am, and before that it was wet, and for some reason the second you go from MA to NH on the highway, the roads ( Read more... )

So I watched "Breakfast At Tiffany's" with Kelsey Saturday night.  And I don't know if I liked it or not.  I mean - I liked it.  I'd watch it again.  I think Audrey Hepburn is STUNNINGLY beautiful, if way too skinny.  But the movie was just not what I thought it would be, AT ALL.  I had to explain the concept of a gigalo to my 15 yr old daughter, ( Read more... )

 I'm going to try to take some positive action, and really REALLY make a go of it.

I signed up here, I'm going to follow their advice, and faithfully track my eating habits.  They ask a BUNCH of questions, and then set up a meal plan, exercise plan, and even a STRESS *gasp* MANAGEMENT plan...right now I'm in "learn to relax" week.  Funny how HARD it ( Read more... )