fic: Perfume Fusion - 1. City lights
Perfume Fusion
1. City lights
Tokyo was quite a beautiful city when the sun had set down and the city was lit up with different kinds of artificial lights. One preferring a more nature oriented scenery probably failed to acknowledge it, but Akanishi Jin doubted he’d ever get fully used to it and stop admiring the view set before his eyes when he got the time to visit it.
“Yes, the deal was closed”, he said to the phone, nodding his head slightly as he stood in front of a big window in his hotel room, eyes darting around as he enjoyed the peaceful feeling in his unlit room. “Tomorrow I’ll have another meeting discussing more about the details of the production. Although now it seems like it’s going to be quite a big thing. Not that I expected much else”, he said, balancing the mobile phone with his shoulder as he started cutting his fingernails.
“Don’t let them get their way too easily. If we want to make it to the very top, we need to show some backbone. Don’t be our downfall, Akanishi. Or I’ll seriously strangle you”, a voice answered in a half-pouting but definitely joking tone. Jin grumbled as he took the phone back in his hand and turned his back to the window.
“You think I’m easy, Yamashita? I just fucking closed a fucking great deal. How about some respect for once? Appreciation?” he snarled in an annoyed tone. “You just make sure that everything runs smoothly in there and I’ll be back within a couple of weeks. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Aa, but you have a bad habit of forgetting about that. So I have to call in every once in a while… Not to mention it’s kind of lonely in here with just me and Ryo”, the voice on the other end of the line complained in a whiny matter. “And some of his things are seriously starting to freak me out.”
“What, like --?”
“More like sleeping in pink underwear…” came a muttering reply and Jin couldn’t help sighing. Who the hell told Pi to even figure out something as strange as that… Hell, he could be considered a freaky pervert if someone.
“I’m cutting off. You two have fun”, he said to the phone and ended the call before Yamapi managed to disagree with his decision and turned the phone off.
“Oops. I think I just ran out of batteries. Who would’ve guessed”, he said to himself with a pleased smirk as he dropped the lifeless phone on his bed and sat on its side, leaning his face in his hands as he started to look out of his window again.
It was quite an expensive room and Jin would’ve been wrong to deny his soft spot for them. He enjoyed all the small luxuries, his own privacy and big windows he could keep staring out of to the night-time Tokyo with a clear view.
Not to mention the mattress and pillows were way better than anywhere else. He wasn’t much of a tidy person so his own apartment back home was more like an unorganized chaos that managed to partially stress him out when he was trying to find something. He had been told off more than once for losing important files from work to all the piles scattered around his house. But in here it was actually quite calming; everything was in place and a maid came to clean up and organize everything during the daytime when he was absent.
He took a small bottle of cool beer from the minibar and pulled his jacket on, fixing his hair with his fingers lazily as he stuffed his feet into his shoes, grabbing the key on his way out.
At this time the rooftop of the Hotel was usually abandoned and Jin felt like taking a relaxing breath of fresh air before going to bed. Well, as fresh as one could in Tokyo. But Jin didn’t mind. He wanted to hear the roar of the cars on the streets over ten stories down, hear the laughter of the people enjoying their Friday nights, excited about the following weekend.
He took a sip from his beer and closed his eyes as he pulled the door open and stepped to the rooftop, looking at the black, starless sky and breathing deeply through his nose.
“…Aa. It’s been a while again, hasn’t it..?” he mumbled quietly as he closed the door, a smile on his lips.
He heard someone’s feet scraping the ground in a quick and shocked turn and glanced at the direction of the sound, only to meet the eyes of a younger man, expression shocked and anxious. He was standing at the edge of the roof, having a strong hold of the fence he had already climbed halfway over. Jin blinked.
The younger one turned back to the edge and fully moved over the fence to the edge of the roof, holding it with his whitened knuckles, lips pressed together tightly. “Could you please leave?” he tried to say with as much dignity as one could possibly have left in his situation, keeping his tone calm and determined, eyes refusing to meet with Jin’s.
Jin’s brains started processing the situation. Very, very slowly.
Then he finally understood what was going on and the beer fell from his hand, glass shattering and the liquid splashing and ruining his shoes. His eyes got glued to the back of the young man’s head, dark hair curling slightly at the ends, his shoulders high and tense. He swallowed hard with a loss of words.
What the hell was a person supposed to do in this kind of situation?
“You, umm… Aren’t jumping are you?” he managed to choke out and started mentally whacking himself as soon as the words left his mouth. The younger one turned his face to Jin with a disbelieving expression.
He didn’t bother answering but looked down, swallowing hard as he took in the sight of the city Jin so dearly loved. But for where there was admiration and love in Jin’s eyes, the younger one’s darkened in fear and pain. He was biting his lip.
“Why would you want to do that?” Jin asked, too afraid to move for the moment. He was afraid the other one would just jump over the edge in panic if he tried to get closer to him. The man was fidgeting and his eyes were darting around so that Jin could only conclude that for the moment, he was certainly not in his right mind.
Which was something that standing on the edge of a 15 story building should’ve told him without the need to any body-language analyzing. Jin whacked himself mentally again. The younger one didn’t turn to look at him.
“Just because”, he answered, all of his muscles tense and his voice half-suppressed. “…It’s stupid, isn’t it?”
“Yes?” Jin answered, not knowing if he should be concerned or amused at the answer. Seriously! Who was this man? Was he crazy or just plain stupid? Who would jump without even having a reason to?
“…Come on, step off the edge. Because I’d really rather not see you going down. Think about all the lives you’d ruin with the sight”, he said. He knew he was probably wording his point very wrong and that a professional in these situations would’ve probably locked him up and forbidden him from ever going near anyone suicidal again if he would’ve been there to see it. But somehow he needed to say it.
For around half a minute they both just stood there quietly. The man didn’t make any moves. He didn’t really seem like he really wanted to jump. But he didn’t seem too eager to step off the edge either.
Jin’s patience ran out.
“Ah, come on, what are you, a child?” he grumbled angrily as he walked over and took a strong hold of the younger one’s jacket, pulling him over the fence and further away from the edge. His victim complied wordlessly, still looking at the city -view under them.
The young man was so passive that Jin wasn’t really sure how he was taking all of it. It was as if he had completely shut off, or maybe he just simply didn’t care. Maybe it really was that and same for him if he would’ve jumped or not.
“Anyone I can call to take care of you?” he asked as he dragged the young man back inside, as far away from the fatal area as he could. The younger one sighed deeply. He looked like he was slowly starting to come back to his senses, and the way he acted like a normal person sent cold shivers up and down his spine. How could someone do something like that and then just… seem like any other person on the streets?
“No, not really. I’m sorry, I must’ve scared you. I should probably just go home and get some sleep”, he said and pinched the bridge of his nose from between his eyes, grunting tiredly. “Too little sleep does things like these at times.”
Oh, now he was blaming it on lack of sleep and swarming off? Well, Jin sure as hell wasn’t going to let him do that. Not after that pretty little close-call on the rooftop. If he’d have to read from tomorrow’s newspaper how this person had jumped in front of a car or something, he knew he wouldn’t be able to ever forgive himself. Ever. He was aware of his bad mental state and so it was his responsibility to make sure he didn’t go off doing something stupid.
“What room are you staying in?” he asked as they were heading down the narrow and stony staircase. The younger one let out a half-amused laughter, his lips turned into a crooked smile almost as if he would’ve been quite unable to produce a full one yet.
“I’m not staying in here. I just happen to like this building. It really is a nice view from the rooftop, you can really see everything…” he said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. And Jin had to wonder again how damn stupid this man just had to be to be able to have that line of thinking.
“Come on, you’re coming with me,” he stated and showed him his key as he kept pulling him from his arm to the corridors. The young man grunted and tried to pull away but Jin didn’t let him. “Unless you let me call someone over to take you home and take care of you, you aren’t going anywhere. I’m not taking your life on my conscience.”
“It’s not on your conscience, you don’t even know me,” the young man grumbled, his eyes slightly narrowed. “And I’m not going to do anything. Just go to sleep. See these bags under my eyes? Do I look like I’m going to run off somewhere and make up a new plan?”
“I don’t think these situations need too much planning ahead, do they?” Jin muttered his answer as they reached his door. He pushed the key in and turned, making the door open with a quiet click. The man sighed.
“You aren’t letting me go, are you?” he asked, knowing the answer without even needing to hear it. Jin nodded as he pushed him in from his shoulders and the man looked around, crossing his arms protectively as he walked further in, taking distance from Jin.
“…You have nice windows,” he said as he looked at the city from them. Jin stood a few metres behind, taking in the sight of his narrow shoulders, fatigued but slightly muscled body and dark curls. Not as dark and curly as his, but dark and curly anyway. He walked slowly next to him, looking out of the window as well.
The look on the man’s face was tense. It was cold and distant from the way his lips were slightly pressed together and eyes narrowed as if not wanting to see the sight ahead of him. He turned his face to Jin as he noticed the stare.
It was an awkward situation. Jin hadn’t really planned on any of this, he had never even thought of such a ridiculous situation, yet now it was scarily at hand and he was unaware of the right things to do. So all he could do was stare back and gulp tensely, rubbing his sweaty palms together.
“…A beer?” he offered and motioned to the minibar. “I could damn well use one.”
The younger man’s snorted as that crooked smile reappeared and he turned his face back to the window before sighing deep and nodding. And so Jin rushed over to the minibar to pull out two cool bottles of good quality beer, stumbling on his way back before he offered the another one to the man while panting slightly.
“Thanks,” the man said. “Although it would’ve been more useful to open it at first.”
Jin cursed and took the beer back, starting to stumble back towards the minibar, his face scarlet out of embarrassment. And a full smile appeared on the young man’s lips as he turned his eyes away from the window and followed, stretching his arms on his way. When Jin turned back to him he had sat down to one of the cosy armchairs, legs crossed as he rubbed his tired eyes. Jin offered him the this-time-opened bottle and sat down to the other armchair himself, taking a big sip of his drink.
Damn he needed some alcohol right now.
“What’s your name?” he asked the younger one straightforwardly. The man took a small sip from his drink and started swirling the bottle slightly out of boredom and uneasiness.
“Kamenashi Kazuya,” he answered and looked up at Jin. “Yours, Prince Charming?”
“Akanishi Jin,” Jin answered. “And I’m hardly a prince.”
The two of them sat in silence. That was the first thing Jin truly learned about Kame that night - when he was at the edge, he preferred to sit silently and shut down to think about things by himself rather than converse. He didn’t dare breaking the silence himself, afraid he’d just tick Kame off. Maybe the man needed to do some thinking.
Kame sighed as he finished his bottle and set it down. Jin was still holding his, pretending that there was still liquid in it although he had finished it what felt like ages ago. Kame didn’t look at him. He didn’t look at anything really, his eyes unfocused and a thoughtful pout on his lips.
And Jin just had to wonder what could’ve happened to the man to drive him to the edge of the rooftop. Yet he doubted he could ever hear the story.
Kame sighed and Jin felt his hair standing at the edge. He was anxious for something to happen, for the man to say something. Anything. It was frustrating like this, in this situation with a stranger in his room. A suicidal person he had saved no less.
Yet he still looked like he was alright. He looked like he was just fine, just a little tired and worn out. And Jin just had to wonder how he did it or if it really even was by his choice. He’d doubt what he knew if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes.
Because the look in Kame’s eyes when he had been standing at the edge had been clear with very little hesitation to what it should have had if he would’ve really gone there not believing he would be doing it.
“So I can sleep in here?” Kame finally asked. And Jin nodded, disappointed with the simple question and how it cut the conversation off entirely. He stood up and started scratching his neck nervously.
“I guess you can take the bed, the sheets have been changed anyway. I’ll just sleep on the couch,” he said and Kame nodded, walking over him with no further questions and kicking his shoes off before he lied down on the bed and pulled the sheets over him. And Jin was left just looking at the bulge he had made under the duvet as he sat down to the couch, positioning the small pillows better to prevent neck ache in the morning.
That night he was unable to sleep as he lied awake and kept listening to the quiet sound of Kame’s breathing and wondering how the hell it was always him who managed to pick up all the trouble.
***
It had been a quiet morning.
Jin had had dark bags under his eyes as he had pulled Kame out of the bed at eight o’clock. He hadn’t been able to sleep, too busy wondering what the hell he should do with Kame when the morning arrived and his work with it.
In the end, he hadn’t reached a conclusion. So he decided to drag the younger man with him for now as he headed for work, picking up big carton cups of hot coffee on their way. Kame was holding the cup absentmindedly in his hand as he walked beside Jin.
He was quite prideful, though, that was something Jin learned to acknowledge soon. He walked with his head held high and didn’t give himself time to hesitate to look at Jin. Mostly he of course looked away, taking in the scenery as an excuse to avoid his own a bit more hesitant gaze, but still he refused to let it become a weakness.
Kame was strong. There was something intelligent and knowing in his eyes, something that made Jin wonder what exactly he knew, although he was sure that the question didn’t hold a simple answer.
“Where do you live?” Jin asked as he took a sip from his coffee, managing to make way to three running high school students who almost knocked him over and splashed his coffee over his shirt. He cursed the traffic and glanced at Kame who was wiping coffee from the corner of his mouth.
“Not anywhere at the moment. My rent ended yesterday,” he answered as he walked on. “I’m sure I’ll find someone to stay with so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Your rent just ended?” Jin asked in disbelief, making Kame’s groan and sweep a strand of his hair behind his ear.
“Not just ended, I didn’t bother renting it for a longer time since I wasn’t really planning on returning there. I sold all of my belongings too. At least I’m not broke,” he shot at him and Jin almost choked on his coffee. Damn his stupidity…
“Ah yes. Of course,” he answered embarrassedly and nodded. “So are you really going to be alright? I don’t have to stumble upon you trying to jump off a building again? You’re over that kind of stuff?”
Kame nodded. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It was stupid.”
Damn right it was… and not only that, it was plain idiotic…
Jin bit the inside of his lip, wondering if he was doing the right thing. “…You’ll really be alright then?”
“I’ll be just fine,” Kame insisted. And somehow he looked so fine that Jin had hard time not believing him. He was so convincing, so normal and so believable. He had a playful smile on his face too. The way even his eyes seemed to lit up.
Either Kame was serious about it or he was an excellent liar. And Jin feared it was the latter one.
“I’m giving you my phone number,” he insisted as he pulled his mobile phone from his pocket and Kame groaned grumpily but Jin pouted and motioned him to pull his out as well. “Oh, come on! It’s just a number! So that if anything comes you can call me!”
“I don’t even know you, why the hell would I want to call you…” Kame muttered as he pulled his phone out and offered it to Jin who gave his to Kame.
“Put your number in there.”
“Hey, I didn’t agree on giving you my number!” the younger once exclaimed angrily. “It’s none of your business, stalker!”
“Either you write your number there or I’m just going to drag you back to that hotel room and lock you in. Your choice,” Jin said, preparing himself for a fight as he eyed Kame stubbornly.
“You know what? Fine. But I am not answering your calls,” Kame said and started pushing the buttons. Jin smiled as he saved his number in Kame’s phone and offered it back. He dialled the number Kame had saved and the younger one’s phone started ringing.
“What, you thought I’d write a wrong number?” Kame shot at him. “I wouldn’t sink that low!”
“Well you never know!” Jin defended himself as he cut the call and put the phone back in his pocket, taking another sip from his coffee. “I’m going to call you tomorrow so you better answer.”
“I already told you I’m not answering your calls,” Kame muttered but changed his mind when Jin turned to him and opened his mouth to let out yet another lecturing convincement he didn’t quite feel like hearing. “FINE! Tomorrow then.”
“And if you feel like-“
“I’ll call you, sure,” Kame answered. There was something in his voice that screamed that he was definitely going to call Jin for any reason and Jin feared he was going to delete and block his number as soon as they had lost the sight of each others. He couldn’t really blame him.
“You better do,” he said as he stopped, reaching his destination and peering up at the high and modern building. Kame sighed.
“Bye then,” he said and waved his hand as he walked away.
And Jin just had to hope that he had made the right decision as he stepped inside the building and greeted people with a wide and charming smile on his lips.
But in the end, what else he could’ve done.
***
The following day Kame didn’t answer his call. And Jin was sure he had screwed up.
He bought all the magazines he could, listened to the news and kept his ears open as he walked on the streets, trying to catch any story of a suicide but failing. He wasn’t too surprised though, it was possible it just didn’t reach the news.
Suicides happened. They were nothing new and most of them never made their way to the magazines. So it was very possible that he’d never learn the truth. Maybe he was meant to be left to just wonder. Maybe it could’ve been easier for him that way.
But it wasn’t. He was feeling guilty and he was quite sure that the other one was probably long gone. Days passed and he grew more grumpy and frustrated. Business was doing fine, but he was sure he could’ve done better. Yamapi and Ryo were going to slaughter him if he didn’t step up his game soon. The last thing he needed right now was a bad deal.
There was no way he could stop feeling guilty. There was no way he could forget the smile on the younger man’s lips, the way he waved his hand as he walked away, pushing his hands in his pockets.
He had looked so fine. And damn, maybe he was fine. It was no wonder he didn’t answer his call, like he had said several times the two of them didn’t even know each others. And the situation in what they had come to know each others even the slightest bit they did was a situation he surely didn’t like looking back to. Jin’s face probably haunted that pride of his.
No, it was no wonder Kame didn’t answer his call. But still Jin couldn’t help feeling like he was dead.
“Oh, shut up Yamapi,” Jin grumbled to the phone as he lied on his bed and pouted, a bottle of beer in his hand that hung over the edge. “The deal’s settling just fine!”
“You are not ruining this from us, Jin! After all these years of work, this could be it! So whatever you think you’re doing slacking off in there, stop it and get a hold of yourself! Damn, do this one thing for us, can you?”
“Are you implying that I’m useless?!” Jin exclaimed furiously. “That hurt, Pi! I work damn hard for this project!”
“Then go and do your thing before you come back! And you better return with good news, Akanishi, good news that are worth a damn big party and a big bottle of champagne! Blew our minds off, Bakanishi!”
Jin sat up and grunted, pouting. “Is that your method, Pi? Kicking me down?”
“It usually works?” the other one tried and Jin could swear he was shrugging. He rolled his eyes.
“Sure. But I’ve got an incoming call, wait a second…” he said and put the call on hold, answering the other one. “Jin here, heey,” he cheered as he lied back down, happy to get a small break from Yamapi. For several seconds it was quiet.
“…Hello?” he tried again, sitting back up and placing his beer on the floor. “Who is it? Ueda?”
A tense gulp from the other end of the line. “…Can you come and pick me up? I’m at the bridge near that hotel now,” came a tense answer, almost cracking but not quite. Jin felt his whole body freeze.
“Kame?” he questioned in shock. “What are you doing?”
“Just come, okay?” came a mutter and the call was cut off. Jin returned to the call from Yamapi as he got up to his feet and rushed over to put his boots in his feet, grabbing his keys and running off from his room as fast as he could.
“I’m going to have to call you later, alright?” he panted to the phone. “See you in a few weeks.”
“Jin, what -?”
Yamapi pouted as the call was cut off and turned to Ryo who raised his eyebrows.
“So?” he asked. “Did it sound like he’s stepping up his performance or not? ‘Cause if he isn’t, I’m going to drink that champagne without him.”
Yamapi shrugged and walked back to his desk, putting his glasses on his nose as he sat down and grumbled at his paperwork. “Well he sure as hell was stepping up his game on something, but I hardly doubt it was business. Sounded more like he was going to have a whore come over or something.”
“The luxuries of Tokyo…” Ryo sighed jealously and banged his head to the table.
***
Jin was out of breath when he reached the bridge, seeing a lithe figure sitting on it and watching the traffic absentmindedly. When he got closer the man turned his tired eyes to look at him and slowly slid down on his feet and straightened his back, stuffing his hands in his pockets with his shoulders high.
When he finally reached the man, he was so badly out of breath that he was unable to say a word. Kame fidgeted and took in a deep breath himself, looking away to the river, the wind blowing his hair gently.
“I’m sorry for bothering,” Kame finally said and looked back at him. He was still wearing the same outfit as he did several days back, but the outfit was so clean that the only way through which Jin could conclude that he really hadn’t been able to change or take care of his hygiene properly was his greasy hair.
“You need a shower,” he grumbled and grabbed Kame by the arm, starting to pull him towards the hotel. “And some food too, I can feel your bones. You do know it’s not attractive?”
Kame sighed but followed obediently. And Jin couldn’t help but getting the feeling that he was doing it somehow robotically, just simply letting himself be led to keep himself from doing anything. Although the man hid it as well as he could, he was a sad sight.
“They have great room service at the hotel,” Jin kept talking, unable to shut himself up as they kept walking on the darkened streets, the cars’ lights occasionally blinding them on their way. “And I’m sure we can order some extra pillows to make the couch more comfortable. It’s a nice and spacious suite, I’m sure you’ll like it. It has things to keep you accompanied.”
Kame nodded tensely as he walked by his side silently, looking at the city around him, lost in thoughts.
Jin had never held anyone’s arm so tight.