fic: 1582 seconds
Title: 1582 seconds
Author: prologuesized
Pairing(s): Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, tragedy, AU (=Alternative Universe)
Beta by: -
Disclaimer: no je-boys belong to me
Summary: For it had taken only 1582 seconds for him to realise that the man didn't even like espresso, and 1582 more to notice how his own eyes always traced their way back to him.
Warning: Character deaths.
Author Note: 1582 seconds is (if I counted right) 26 minutes and 22 seconds by the way. Just so that it's easier for you to imagine.
Again, a very different style and type of story from me. The sweetness of it scared me, but that's just Jin getting out of control again. And... ah, I make up to it in the end. And you'll hate me.
And damn, this got long. I didn't know I even could write this long anymore!
I love not having a writer's block. That's all I can say.
1582 seconds
It has been 1582 seconds since Kame last stirred the untouched espresso before him, sitting in an outdoor café and looking at the passing people absent-mindedly. He can’t really remember how long he’s been in there, just that when he arrived it had been a chilly morning and he had been wrapping his light grey coat better on, but now it has already warmed up and he has taken it off along with his gloves, laid neatly on the table.
He can hear faint laughter from the table next to him, but he doesn’t care to make out what they’re discussing about. There are three young men, each having that cocky grin on their faces and almighty looks in their eyes as they enjoy their iced coffees and argue about something, pointing at people at the café shamelessly like children who were never taught how to behave. And he finds himself annoyed as their loud noises disturb his peace, his quiet moment of the day that he needs so that he can endure what’s ahead of him day after day. Still he doesn’t react to them, polite and withdrawn he is, but keeps looking away with that detached look in his eyes, face free of any emotions, blank like a sheet of paper.
And when he takes a look at his watch he curses, finally realising how long he’s been sitting in there again and quickly throws his coat on, fishing some coins from his pocket that he puts down on the table next to his order and flees, rapidly walking down the street towards his destination, unaware of the eyes on his back.
And one of the young males gets up from his seat and takes the gloves he’s forgotten in his hands, examining them as he loses the sight of his dark hair. And when he returns to his seat, he puts the gloves in his own pockets and finds himself laughing at the stupidity and awkwardness of the young man who owns them, but his smile falters, yet his friends never notice.
And after that, each morning he finds himself cancelling his plans with them just to come to that café again, hoping to one day see the young man again.
For it had taken only 1582 seconds for him to realise that the man didn’t even like espresso, and 1582 more to notice how his own eyes always traced their way back to him.
And as the strong scent of all the coffee around him thickened the air, his heart had begun to beat just a bit faster.
After two weeks, he still hasn’t given up.
***
But the next time they meet, it isn’t in the café. It isn’t even when they’re both all alone, Jin notices sadly as he downs his tequila shot, wondering how the hell such a timid guy ended up in a bar like this, but soon figures it out as he takes a look at the friend by his side. He has blond hair and his smile and laughter are somehow genuine and nice unlike his appearance, Jin notices, as he seems to be trying to cheer up the younger one who just smiles back (but that isn’t your true smile, is it?) and waves him off, telling him to go and hook up with the pretty girl who’s being eyeing the two of them from her seat across the bar, and after a moment of hesitation, the man does. And so the mystery man is left alone to slowly take another sip from his fruity drink and sigh deeply and tiredly. And Jin just knows that he doesn’t really appreciate being in there.
Pi is on the dance floor with a girl, his hands on her hips, grinding together as the loud beating of the music drowns the sounds as they’re trying to yell to each others, and Jin has a feeling that he’s not going to be going home alone that night. Ryo has disappeared somewhere, whether it’s for the toilet or somewhere else, Jin doesn’t know, but for the moment no one really seems to care about him. So he ditches the hopeful girls who have been trying to get courage to buy him drinks and ask him to the dance floor and gets up, sitting on the seat next to the younger man who glances at him briefly.
“It’s loud”, he yells so that the other man can hear him over all the loud noises around them and, hesitantly, the man nods. He stirs his drink and his thoughts seem to be running somewhere where only he is able to have access to them, but Jin doesn’t care.
It might’ve been bad for his image, sitting down to talk with a guy in the bar, but Jin doesn’t bother caring. The other man’s calm and collected, but somehow even with all of that, he isn’t cold. There is an interesting level of depth in him, something that doesn’t run visibly in his usual circles, and for the first time he actually feels attracted to that quality. Maybe it’s curiosity, for he has never quite met anyone like that. Sometimes he’s tried to access that part in himself, but the way others laughed at him the rare times somewhere in the past when he did, he has stopped, deciding that it was the shallowness that made the modern world that he belonged to.
He doesn’t know if the other one can remember him, but he suspects he can’t since there doesn’t seem to be recognition in his eyes as his shoulders rise when he starts feeling uncomfortable. He wishes he’d have the gloves with him so that he could return them, but he hasn’t expected to run into the man in this place so he’s left them home, and he knows that there’s nothing he can do about it now. He doesn’t bother mentioning them because he doesn’t want to look like a stalker, for that quality seems like something that could immediately drive the other one away.
And he would like to see just a bit more of what he’s like, what really goes on in his head as he stares to the distance with that look in his eyes and pushes his drink away, closing his eyes and covering his mouth. Jin blinks, noticing the signs of nausea and grabs the other one from under his arm.
“Come on, not in here…” he tells the other man who nods weakly as Jin pulls him to his stumbling feet and starts dragging him outside from the backdoor to get some cool air. The young man gags and finally gives in, his knees giving in as he throws up. Jin grabs a hold of him quickly to pull him back so he doesn’t accidentally fall over the contents of his stomach and starts feeling a bit sick by the smell as well. The young man’s breathing loudly as he tries to regain his breath and wipes his mouth shakily with his hand. After a few minutes Jin decides it’s safe to get him back on his feet, but when he does so, the young man sighs deeply and shrugs him off before going to sit down on a bench across the street. Jin follows, not really feeling like going back inside either after such a commotion.
And he doesn’t want to leave him here all alone in that state, not in the night at Tokyo where everything could happen to someone so drunk, weak and gorgeous, even when he’s all ruffled and pale.
They sit there in silence, the younger one closing his eyes, and Jin starts feeling awkward. He’s good with people and he’s good with hooking up, but for some reason he has a feeling his tactics wouldn’t work with this person, and he doesn’t even know if he wants them to. If they would work, he’d probably find himself disappointed.
Maybe he wants to find someone he can talk to, discuss about things. Because this person seems like the type, and somehow Jin likes that, likes that he isn’t supposed to joke around and stay cool around him. He rubs his hands together as he wonders what to say.
“Akanishi Jin”, he finally decides to say, offering his hand to the other one. And the young man looks up to him silently and curiously, almost like he wouldn’t really be able to see a reason for someone like him to sit in there.
“Kamenashi Kazuya”, he answers as he takes his hand and shakes it, starting to seem less nauseous. And Jin smiles.
Two hours later they have ended up in Jin’s apartment, and manage to break several items and a door handle on their way to the bedroom.
And when Jin wakes up the next afternoon, the other side of the bed is empty and already cold. He gets up and sighs, rubbing his temples and cursing as he walks to the kitchen to treat himself a glass of fresh water and a painkiller for his hangover. He sits down to the table and buries his face in his hands.
Thanks for the gloves, says a note on the table, and the gloves are indeed gone.
And somehow Jin feels like he lost more than just two stupid gloves.
Because for exactly 1582 seconds, the two of them had been one.
And now, that is all he can think about as he decides to skip work and lies down on the couch, turning the TV on and flipping through the channels anxiously, wondering if he’ll ever see him again.
But there he is on the TV screen, and Jin sits up in horror as he looks how the press is trying to attack him when he’s lead out from a fancy building, two frustrated tears glimmering on his cheeks as he faces the world around him with that strong and independent look on his face..
...He hadn’t known.
***
Jin had already prepared to never bump into the young man again, but for some reason when he’s on his way to work the following day, he sees the man with his untouched espresso again, sitting in the same chair as before and looking into the distance.
And he waves the waiter to bring him a café au lait before sitting down opposite to the man who jumps a bit to the air in surprise. And this time he recognizes him, but he doesn’t seem too pleased and happy about it.
“You”, he ends up saying simply, snapping back to the reality. And Jin nods and smirks, leaning his elbows to the table.
“Yes. Me”, he answers. “You left early.”
Kame looks annoyed and looks away coldly, taking that cup of espresso in his hands and stirs it with his small spoon. After a second, however, he faces him again, and this time his stare is cold, daring him to leave. But Jin doesn’t take the offer, smiling and thanking the waiter as his coffee arrives and takes a small sip of it before leaning casually backwards and stretching his arms.
Kame sighs and sets his espresso back to the table, still untouched, and crosses his arms, leaning back too. “After a night like that it’s the appropriate thing to do”, he states. “And I really was drunk.”
And Jin can’t disagree - Kame had been wasted over his head. He himself had also had maybe a few drinks too much as well. If he hadn’t, maybe he could’ve held back, maybe he could’ve taken it slower and earned respect and appreciation from the other party instead of just getting laid. Hell, he wondered if Kame had at that point even been fully aware that he had been a man, he couldn’t tell.
“Being drunk is a good excuse”, he says. “It still doesn’t make me like you less.”
“You don’t even know me”, comes the sharp and quick answer. “Now, if you’ll excuse me”, Kame says and gets up, but Jin grabs his arm and he looks at him, still resisting.
“…You don’t really know me either, so isn’t a flat out rejection a bit too over the board? Let me take you out”, he requests. Kame pulls his arm away and starts walking away.
“Eight o’clock! Today! In case you change your mind, meet me in here!” he yells after him. Kame doesn’t look back.
That night when Jin shivers in the cool night and keeps checking the time from his wrist watch, minutes ticking by, Kame doesn’t come.
But the next evening, at eight o’clock sharp, he sits down at the café and orders himself yet another espresso.
And he smiles.
***
Half a week later on Sunday when Jin’s jogging, he runs into the young man again.
He has the earphones from his iPod in his ears as he also jogs, looking far to the sea as he runs on the pathway lining the seaside. And Jin speeds up until he reaches him and pulls the plug from his ear. “Morning! You didn’t come!”
Kame notices him and stops, pulling the earphones fully off as he pants, looking stressed and annoyed like he wouldn’t have slept in several days. Maybe he hasn’t, Jin wouldn’t be surprised. He turns his iPod off and glares at Jin grumpily.
“…You just keep popping up, don’t you?” he answers as he starts jogging again, and Jin follows.
Yes, he finds it amusing too how they manage to bump into each others so often in so different places. This is Tokyo, and Tokyo is a big place where running into people isn’t that common in the mass of people. Yet, somehow, Kame fails to leave his life.
Maybe it’s fate, he thinks, amused. And he feels like laughing at himself, because the mere thought is so ridiculous. It’s just damn good luck. For him. A mere lucky coincidence.
Kame seems like he’s been running for a long time, clothes wet and breathing heavy. There’s sweat prickling down his forehead and his whole body seems slick. Jin wonders if he’s trying to get rid of all the aggression he’s carrying, all the frustration. Maybe he is.
And Jin admires the strength he as, how he manages to keep himself so collected, his appearance up. And Kame wonders if Jin knows, but he never asks. And Jin doesn’t bring it up.
“I’m not as shallow as I appear”, Jin says as they keep jogging. “I’m not emotionless either.”
Kame doesn’t answer. He just runs his fingers through his hair, pulling it from his face, breathing hitched. Jin has a blurry image of something along it and he has to swallow hard as his thoughts start running. Kame doesn’t seem to notice.
“I fail to see what you see in me”, the younger one states as they run, speeding up slightly. And Jin knows it’s ticking him off. “There’s nothing interesting about me, and I’ve never even said much to you. So why do you keep cornering me?”
“I disagree”, Jin laughs, speeding up too to keep up. He isn’t really much of a jogger, he doesn’t do this too often and he’s already out of breath. “You’re very interesting, you aren’t just laying your cards to the table in the first meeting. You aren’t bought easily, are you? You aren’t that shallow. I like that”, he says. “So let me take you out.”
Kame laughs bitterly. “You just aren’t taking no as an answer, are you?”
Jin shakes his head. Kame snorts.
“I guess you’ll just have to”, he says as he speeds up again and Jin falls behind, cursing loudly as Kame puts his earphones back on.
But when he looks back, Jin’s heart skips a beat and he knows that one day they’ll meet again. Definitely.
“ONE DAY I WILL TAKE YOU OUT!” he yells after him, not sure if he can even hear him over the blasting music. “AND I’LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU’LL NEVER FORGET IT WHEN I DO!”
***
Kame wakes up, his body jolting painfully, breathing harsh and rapid. He swallows hard and rubs his tired eyes as he gets up from the bed, heading his way to the kitchen to drink a glass of cool water, not feeling like sleeping anymore.
He looks at the digital clock of the microwave and curses as it shows just five a.m. He hasn’t slept more than four hours again, and it’s starting to wear him out slowly. Slowly and surely.
He lies down on the table, looking at the ceiling tiredly, thinking about his life. Thinking about all of it.
Blood in his hands… Distant screams (were they his own?), shaking the cool and lifeless body in his hands. The cold and clammy skin, eyes staring into nothing.
And before he drowns in his memories, he pulls himself up and goes to turn the lights on. He goes through the mail from the day before and sighs deeply while looking at all the bills.
Maru-
He closes his eyes and tries to force it blank, knowing he’s having to testify this afternoon again. He’s going to have to talk about all of it again while looking at the face of his friend (no, he isn’t his friend anymore) and feeling the cold sweat on his skin again. The cold fear he still holds, even though it has been a few months now.
Ueda, what’s gotten into you?
He grabs a frame from the table, holding the photo of five laughing friends before throwing it to the wall, smashed before it hits the ground, the sound of glass shattering.
He’s panting, and he knows that he can’t forgive. He can’t forget.
But he can’t hate him for it. He can’t hate one of his closest friends, for it just isn’t that easy.
And that’s what makes it so hard to go and testify day after day, to wake up to a day knowing that one of his closest friends is gone and another one is still hospitalized, and it’s all Ueda’s fault. And he doesn’t even know the motives - only that Maru was the real target and Junno just got in the way while trying to protect him.
And Kame had walked in on it by accident. He had just simply forgotten his gloves in the locker room.
He had just forgotten his stupid gloves in the locker room.
1582 seconds when he didn’t really realise what was going on around him as he screamed and covered for himself. But Ueda never hurt him, just stood there with his eyes wide, almost as if he’d been scared of what he had done, regretful.
And Ueda had held him with those bloody hands of his and he had cried against his shoulder, asking him why.
But 1582 seconds after that Ueda had been taken away from him and he had had to face the reality as he had been sitting in the waiting room in the hospital and Koki had rushed by his side, bellowing and claiming explanations he hadn’t been able to give.
...He still didn’t know why. And he never would.
***
When Jin and Kame meet again, they are in the café again, and Jin can’t help but wonder if Kame is coming in here so often only because he likes the place or because he's hoping to see him in there too. He sure is. Although he has to agree that the coffee is good, but Kame never really drinks any, just sits.
Kame looks exhausted and worn out that evening, and he doesn’t even notice him when he arrives. He has his elbows on the table and he’s leaning his forehead to his hands, breathing evenly, almost like he’s half asleep. Jin sits down and only when the waiter comes over and he orders himself another café au lait, Kame raises his gaze, hair ruffled and eyes slightly swollen. It looks like he really hasn’t been sleeping well in a while.
“We could consider this time a date, you know”, he says with a smile. “You seem like you’re in a need for one. They can really cheer you up.”
And Kame nods, but he doesn’t smile. He just straightens his back and rubs his arm. Jin offers him his coat since Kame doesn’t seem to have his own with him, but Kame refuses the offer.
“My day was very boring today”, he starts talking. Because he knows that at least for now, Kame isn’t in the mood for talking, but silence doesn’t serve as a distraction from all the thoughts in his head, and by accepting his company, he’s really wishing that Jin could take it all away from him, even if just for a moment. “I work in a small CD store downtown. However, today Yamapi was ill so he had to take a day off. And less people working means more work for one. Ryo was of course slacking off. I tried too but my boss realised it and I got a lecture. Me, a fucking lecture. It was humiliating”, he goes on complaining, stirring his coffee energetically. “Ryo laughed so hard. He’s mean like that, always showing off with that huge ego of his.”
A smile tugs Kame’s lips and Jin feels just a bit less bitter about the day. For if it manages to cheer him up, it was worth it. And he could be proud of it.
“In the CD store everything is so shallow at times. Sometimes we get celebrities to hold a CD signing event, but even then it’s really more of a pain than excitement. Because we’ll have to work our asses off by making sure nothing gets broken and there aren’t any madmen trying to cause trouble. Sometimes people just come and listen to the music, it’s annoying as well. And Ryo has a habit of swooning pretty girls that come over every other day, flirting at us and giggling as they buy CDs they probably won’t even listen to. Well, it’s good business but…” he says and sighs. “It’s all a bit too shallow for me. I can’t even think anything else but shallow anymore, I don’t want to be like this. I don’t like it.”
“You don’t think only about shallow things”, Kame answers quietly, and Jin looks at him in surprise. “…I hope you don’t, anyway. ‘Cause if you do think about me only shallowly, I’m going to walk off right now.”
And Jin smiles and shakes his head, grabbing Kame’s hand from the other side of the table, widening his eyes with the sudden impulsive action. Kame tries to pull it back, glancing around nervously, but Jin grabs it with another hand of his as well, smile spreading even further.
“…Even if I say I’m not shallow, will you still come over after this?” he blurts out and Kame looks at him suspiciously.
And in Jin’s apartment they end up, but that night it’s gentler. And Jin knows that the only reason Kame came was because he wanted to distract himself from his thoughts, something he wasn’t able to do at home.
And, actually, that’s the only reason Jin even asked him to.
In the morning he hears Kame leave, but he doesn’t stop him. When he walks to the kitchen, there’s another note on the table, saying simply ‘Thank you’.
And Jin knows that Kame saw through it.
There’s a phone number written on the backside.
And Jin smiles, rushing off to work.
1582 seconds later Kame is hit by a bus in front of a CD store.
He doesn’t make it.
Author: prologuesized
Pairing(s): Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, tragedy, AU (=Alternative Universe)
Beta by: -
Disclaimer: no je-boys belong to me
Summary: For it had taken only 1582 seconds for him to realise that the man didn't even like espresso, and 1582 more to notice how his own eyes always traced their way back to him.
Warning: Character deaths.
Author Note: 1582 seconds is (if I counted right) 26 minutes and 22 seconds by the way. Just so that it's easier for you to imagine.
Again, a very different style and type of story from me. The sweetness of it scared me, but that's just Jin getting out of control again. And... ah, I make up to it in the end. And you'll hate me.
And damn, this got long. I didn't know I even could write this long anymore!
I love not having a writer's block. That's all I can say.
1582 seconds
It has been 1582 seconds since Kame last stirred the untouched espresso before him, sitting in an outdoor café and looking at the passing people absent-mindedly. He can’t really remember how long he’s been in there, just that when he arrived it had been a chilly morning and he had been wrapping his light grey coat better on, but now it has already warmed up and he has taken it off along with his gloves, laid neatly on the table.
He can hear faint laughter from the table next to him, but he doesn’t care to make out what they’re discussing about. There are three young men, each having that cocky grin on their faces and almighty looks in their eyes as they enjoy their iced coffees and argue about something, pointing at people at the café shamelessly like children who were never taught how to behave. And he finds himself annoyed as their loud noises disturb his peace, his quiet moment of the day that he needs so that he can endure what’s ahead of him day after day. Still he doesn’t react to them, polite and withdrawn he is, but keeps looking away with that detached look in his eyes, face free of any emotions, blank like a sheet of paper.
And when he takes a look at his watch he curses, finally realising how long he’s been sitting in there again and quickly throws his coat on, fishing some coins from his pocket that he puts down on the table next to his order and flees, rapidly walking down the street towards his destination, unaware of the eyes on his back.
And one of the young males gets up from his seat and takes the gloves he’s forgotten in his hands, examining them as he loses the sight of his dark hair. And when he returns to his seat, he puts the gloves in his own pockets and finds himself laughing at the stupidity and awkwardness of the young man who owns them, but his smile falters, yet his friends never notice.
And after that, each morning he finds himself cancelling his plans with them just to come to that café again, hoping to one day see the young man again.
For it had taken only 1582 seconds for him to realise that the man didn’t even like espresso, and 1582 more to notice how his own eyes always traced their way back to him.
And as the strong scent of all the coffee around him thickened the air, his heart had begun to beat just a bit faster.
After two weeks, he still hasn’t given up.
***
But the next time they meet, it isn’t in the café. It isn’t even when they’re both all alone, Jin notices sadly as he downs his tequila shot, wondering how the hell such a timid guy ended up in a bar like this, but soon figures it out as he takes a look at the friend by his side. He has blond hair and his smile and laughter are somehow genuine and nice unlike his appearance, Jin notices, as he seems to be trying to cheer up the younger one who just smiles back (but that isn’t your true smile, is it?) and waves him off, telling him to go and hook up with the pretty girl who’s being eyeing the two of them from her seat across the bar, and after a moment of hesitation, the man does. And so the mystery man is left alone to slowly take another sip from his fruity drink and sigh deeply and tiredly. And Jin just knows that he doesn’t really appreciate being in there.
Pi is on the dance floor with a girl, his hands on her hips, grinding together as the loud beating of the music drowns the sounds as they’re trying to yell to each others, and Jin has a feeling that he’s not going to be going home alone that night. Ryo has disappeared somewhere, whether it’s for the toilet or somewhere else, Jin doesn’t know, but for the moment no one really seems to care about him. So he ditches the hopeful girls who have been trying to get courage to buy him drinks and ask him to the dance floor and gets up, sitting on the seat next to the younger man who glances at him briefly.
“It’s loud”, he yells so that the other man can hear him over all the loud noises around them and, hesitantly, the man nods. He stirs his drink and his thoughts seem to be running somewhere where only he is able to have access to them, but Jin doesn’t care.
It might’ve been bad for his image, sitting down to talk with a guy in the bar, but Jin doesn’t bother caring. The other man’s calm and collected, but somehow even with all of that, he isn’t cold. There is an interesting level of depth in him, something that doesn’t run visibly in his usual circles, and for the first time he actually feels attracted to that quality. Maybe it’s curiosity, for he has never quite met anyone like that. Sometimes he’s tried to access that part in himself, but the way others laughed at him the rare times somewhere in the past when he did, he has stopped, deciding that it was the shallowness that made the modern world that he belonged to.
He doesn’t know if the other one can remember him, but he suspects he can’t since there doesn’t seem to be recognition in his eyes as his shoulders rise when he starts feeling uncomfortable. He wishes he’d have the gloves with him so that he could return them, but he hasn’t expected to run into the man in this place so he’s left them home, and he knows that there’s nothing he can do about it now. He doesn’t bother mentioning them because he doesn’t want to look like a stalker, for that quality seems like something that could immediately drive the other one away.
And he would like to see just a bit more of what he’s like, what really goes on in his head as he stares to the distance with that look in his eyes and pushes his drink away, closing his eyes and covering his mouth. Jin blinks, noticing the signs of nausea and grabs the other one from under his arm.
“Come on, not in here…” he tells the other man who nods weakly as Jin pulls him to his stumbling feet and starts dragging him outside from the backdoor to get some cool air. The young man gags and finally gives in, his knees giving in as he throws up. Jin grabs a hold of him quickly to pull him back so he doesn’t accidentally fall over the contents of his stomach and starts feeling a bit sick by the smell as well. The young man’s breathing loudly as he tries to regain his breath and wipes his mouth shakily with his hand. After a few minutes Jin decides it’s safe to get him back on his feet, but when he does so, the young man sighs deeply and shrugs him off before going to sit down on a bench across the street. Jin follows, not really feeling like going back inside either after such a commotion.
And he doesn’t want to leave him here all alone in that state, not in the night at Tokyo where everything could happen to someone so drunk, weak and gorgeous, even when he’s all ruffled and pale.
They sit there in silence, the younger one closing his eyes, and Jin starts feeling awkward. He’s good with people and he’s good with hooking up, but for some reason he has a feeling his tactics wouldn’t work with this person, and he doesn’t even know if he wants them to. If they would work, he’d probably find himself disappointed.
Maybe he wants to find someone he can talk to, discuss about things. Because this person seems like the type, and somehow Jin likes that, likes that he isn’t supposed to joke around and stay cool around him. He rubs his hands together as he wonders what to say.
“Akanishi Jin”, he finally decides to say, offering his hand to the other one. And the young man looks up to him silently and curiously, almost like he wouldn’t really be able to see a reason for someone like him to sit in there.
“Kamenashi Kazuya”, he answers as he takes his hand and shakes it, starting to seem less nauseous. And Jin smiles.
Two hours later they have ended up in Jin’s apartment, and manage to break several items and a door handle on their way to the bedroom.
And when Jin wakes up the next afternoon, the other side of the bed is empty and already cold. He gets up and sighs, rubbing his temples and cursing as he walks to the kitchen to treat himself a glass of fresh water and a painkiller for his hangover. He sits down to the table and buries his face in his hands.
Thanks for the gloves, says a note on the table, and the gloves are indeed gone.
And somehow Jin feels like he lost more than just two stupid gloves.
Because for exactly 1582 seconds, the two of them had been one.
And now, that is all he can think about as he decides to skip work and lies down on the couch, turning the TV on and flipping through the channels anxiously, wondering if he’ll ever see him again.
But there he is on the TV screen, and Jin sits up in horror as he looks how the press is trying to attack him when he’s lead out from a fancy building, two frustrated tears glimmering on his cheeks as he faces the world around him with that strong and independent look on his face..
...He hadn’t known.
***
Jin had already prepared to never bump into the young man again, but for some reason when he’s on his way to work the following day, he sees the man with his untouched espresso again, sitting in the same chair as before and looking into the distance.
And he waves the waiter to bring him a café au lait before sitting down opposite to the man who jumps a bit to the air in surprise. And this time he recognizes him, but he doesn’t seem too pleased and happy about it.
“You”, he ends up saying simply, snapping back to the reality. And Jin nods and smirks, leaning his elbows to the table.
“Yes. Me”, he answers. “You left early.”
Kame looks annoyed and looks away coldly, taking that cup of espresso in his hands and stirs it with his small spoon. After a second, however, he faces him again, and this time his stare is cold, daring him to leave. But Jin doesn’t take the offer, smiling and thanking the waiter as his coffee arrives and takes a small sip of it before leaning casually backwards and stretching his arms.
Kame sighs and sets his espresso back to the table, still untouched, and crosses his arms, leaning back too. “After a night like that it’s the appropriate thing to do”, he states. “And I really was drunk.”
And Jin can’t disagree - Kame had been wasted over his head. He himself had also had maybe a few drinks too much as well. If he hadn’t, maybe he could’ve held back, maybe he could’ve taken it slower and earned respect and appreciation from the other party instead of just getting laid. Hell, he wondered if Kame had at that point even been fully aware that he had been a man, he couldn’t tell.
“Being drunk is a good excuse”, he says. “It still doesn’t make me like you less.”
“You don’t even know me”, comes the sharp and quick answer. “Now, if you’ll excuse me”, Kame says and gets up, but Jin grabs his arm and he looks at him, still resisting.
“…You don’t really know me either, so isn’t a flat out rejection a bit too over the board? Let me take you out”, he requests. Kame pulls his arm away and starts walking away.
“Eight o’clock! Today! In case you change your mind, meet me in here!” he yells after him. Kame doesn’t look back.
That night when Jin shivers in the cool night and keeps checking the time from his wrist watch, minutes ticking by, Kame doesn’t come.
But the next evening, at eight o’clock sharp, he sits down at the café and orders himself yet another espresso.
And he smiles.
***
Half a week later on Sunday when Jin’s jogging, he runs into the young man again.
He has the earphones from his iPod in his ears as he also jogs, looking far to the sea as he runs on the pathway lining the seaside. And Jin speeds up until he reaches him and pulls the plug from his ear. “Morning! You didn’t come!”
Kame notices him and stops, pulling the earphones fully off as he pants, looking stressed and annoyed like he wouldn’t have slept in several days. Maybe he hasn’t, Jin wouldn’t be surprised. He turns his iPod off and glares at Jin grumpily.
“…You just keep popping up, don’t you?” he answers as he starts jogging again, and Jin follows.
Yes, he finds it amusing too how they manage to bump into each others so often in so different places. This is Tokyo, and Tokyo is a big place where running into people isn’t that common in the mass of people. Yet, somehow, Kame fails to leave his life.
Maybe it’s fate, he thinks, amused. And he feels like laughing at himself, because the mere thought is so ridiculous. It’s just damn good luck. For him. A mere lucky coincidence.
Kame seems like he’s been running for a long time, clothes wet and breathing heavy. There’s sweat prickling down his forehead and his whole body seems slick. Jin wonders if he’s trying to get rid of all the aggression he’s carrying, all the frustration. Maybe he is.
And Jin admires the strength he as, how he manages to keep himself so collected, his appearance up. And Kame wonders if Jin knows, but he never asks. And Jin doesn’t bring it up.
“I’m not as shallow as I appear”, Jin says as they keep jogging. “I’m not emotionless either.”
Kame doesn’t answer. He just runs his fingers through his hair, pulling it from his face, breathing hitched. Jin has a blurry image of something along it and he has to swallow hard as his thoughts start running. Kame doesn’t seem to notice.
“I fail to see what you see in me”, the younger one states as they run, speeding up slightly. And Jin knows it’s ticking him off. “There’s nothing interesting about me, and I’ve never even said much to you. So why do you keep cornering me?”
“I disagree”, Jin laughs, speeding up too to keep up. He isn’t really much of a jogger, he doesn’t do this too often and he’s already out of breath. “You’re very interesting, you aren’t just laying your cards to the table in the first meeting. You aren’t bought easily, are you? You aren’t that shallow. I like that”, he says. “So let me take you out.”
Kame laughs bitterly. “You just aren’t taking no as an answer, are you?”
Jin shakes his head. Kame snorts.
“I guess you’ll just have to”, he says as he speeds up again and Jin falls behind, cursing loudly as Kame puts his earphones back on.
But when he looks back, Jin’s heart skips a beat and he knows that one day they’ll meet again. Definitely.
“ONE DAY I WILL TAKE YOU OUT!” he yells after him, not sure if he can even hear him over the blasting music. “AND I’LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU’LL NEVER FORGET IT WHEN I DO!”
***
Kame wakes up, his body jolting painfully, breathing harsh and rapid. He swallows hard and rubs his tired eyes as he gets up from the bed, heading his way to the kitchen to drink a glass of cool water, not feeling like sleeping anymore.
He looks at the digital clock of the microwave and curses as it shows just five a.m. He hasn’t slept more than four hours again, and it’s starting to wear him out slowly. Slowly and surely.
He lies down on the table, looking at the ceiling tiredly, thinking about his life. Thinking about all of it.
Blood in his hands… Distant screams (were they his own?), shaking the cool and lifeless body in his hands. The cold and clammy skin, eyes staring into nothing.
And before he drowns in his memories, he pulls himself up and goes to turn the lights on. He goes through the mail from the day before and sighs deeply while looking at all the bills.
Maru-
He closes his eyes and tries to force it blank, knowing he’s having to testify this afternoon again. He’s going to have to talk about all of it again while looking at the face of his friend (no, he isn’t his friend anymore) and feeling the cold sweat on his skin again. The cold fear he still holds, even though it has been a few months now.
Ueda, what’s gotten into you?
He grabs a frame from the table, holding the photo of five laughing friends before throwing it to the wall, smashed before it hits the ground, the sound of glass shattering.
He’s panting, and he knows that he can’t forgive. He can’t forget.
But he can’t hate him for it. He can’t hate one of his closest friends, for it just isn’t that easy.
And that’s what makes it so hard to go and testify day after day, to wake up to a day knowing that one of his closest friends is gone and another one is still hospitalized, and it’s all Ueda’s fault. And he doesn’t even know the motives - only that Maru was the real target and Junno just got in the way while trying to protect him.
And Kame had walked in on it by accident. He had just simply forgotten his gloves in the locker room.
He had just forgotten his stupid gloves in the locker room.
1582 seconds when he didn’t really realise what was going on around him as he screamed and covered for himself. But Ueda never hurt him, just stood there with his eyes wide, almost as if he’d been scared of what he had done, regretful.
And Ueda had held him with those bloody hands of his and he had cried against his shoulder, asking him why.
But 1582 seconds after that Ueda had been taken away from him and he had had to face the reality as he had been sitting in the waiting room in the hospital and Koki had rushed by his side, bellowing and claiming explanations he hadn’t been able to give.
...He still didn’t know why. And he never would.
***
When Jin and Kame meet again, they are in the café again, and Jin can’t help but wonder if Kame is coming in here so often only because he likes the place or because he's hoping to see him in there too. He sure is. Although he has to agree that the coffee is good, but Kame never really drinks any, just sits.
Kame looks exhausted and worn out that evening, and he doesn’t even notice him when he arrives. He has his elbows on the table and he’s leaning his forehead to his hands, breathing evenly, almost like he’s half asleep. Jin sits down and only when the waiter comes over and he orders himself another café au lait, Kame raises his gaze, hair ruffled and eyes slightly swollen. It looks like he really hasn’t been sleeping well in a while.
“We could consider this time a date, you know”, he says with a smile. “You seem like you’re in a need for one. They can really cheer you up.”
And Kame nods, but he doesn’t smile. He just straightens his back and rubs his arm. Jin offers him his coat since Kame doesn’t seem to have his own with him, but Kame refuses the offer.
“My day was very boring today”, he starts talking. Because he knows that at least for now, Kame isn’t in the mood for talking, but silence doesn’t serve as a distraction from all the thoughts in his head, and by accepting his company, he’s really wishing that Jin could take it all away from him, even if just for a moment. “I work in a small CD store downtown. However, today Yamapi was ill so he had to take a day off. And less people working means more work for one. Ryo was of course slacking off. I tried too but my boss realised it and I got a lecture. Me, a fucking lecture. It was humiliating”, he goes on complaining, stirring his coffee energetically. “Ryo laughed so hard. He’s mean like that, always showing off with that huge ego of his.”
A smile tugs Kame’s lips and Jin feels just a bit less bitter about the day. For if it manages to cheer him up, it was worth it. And he could be proud of it.
“In the CD store everything is so shallow at times. Sometimes we get celebrities to hold a CD signing event, but even then it’s really more of a pain than excitement. Because we’ll have to work our asses off by making sure nothing gets broken and there aren’t any madmen trying to cause trouble. Sometimes people just come and listen to the music, it’s annoying as well. And Ryo has a habit of swooning pretty girls that come over every other day, flirting at us and giggling as they buy CDs they probably won’t even listen to. Well, it’s good business but…” he says and sighs. “It’s all a bit too shallow for me. I can’t even think anything else but shallow anymore, I don’t want to be like this. I don’t like it.”
“You don’t think only about shallow things”, Kame answers quietly, and Jin looks at him in surprise. “…I hope you don’t, anyway. ‘Cause if you do think about me only shallowly, I’m going to walk off right now.”
And Jin smiles and shakes his head, grabbing Kame’s hand from the other side of the table, widening his eyes with the sudden impulsive action. Kame tries to pull it back, glancing around nervously, but Jin grabs it with another hand of his as well, smile spreading even further.
“…Even if I say I’m not shallow, will you still come over after this?” he blurts out and Kame looks at him suspiciously.
And in Jin’s apartment they end up, but that night it’s gentler. And Jin knows that the only reason Kame came was because he wanted to distract himself from his thoughts, something he wasn’t able to do at home.
And, actually, that’s the only reason Jin even asked him to.
In the morning he hears Kame leave, but he doesn’t stop him. When he walks to the kitchen, there’s another note on the table, saying simply ‘Thank you’.
And Jin knows that Kame saw through it.
There’s a phone number written on the backside.
And Jin smiles, rushing off to work.
1582 seconds later Kame is hit by a bus in front of a CD store.
He doesn’t make it.