Heavenly Reincarnation: Chapter 22
Title: Heavenly reincarnationPairing(s): Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Jaejoong/Junsu
Genre: Romance, Angst, Crime/Suspense, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: character death, murder, sexual content, language, angst
Length: 22/25
Summary: For as long as he can remember, Yunho has been dreaming about a person he loved more than life itself, dying because of his fault. When he and his investigation team are put on a gruesome multiple homicide case he meets a journalist, Kim Jaejoong, whose close resemblances to the person in his dreams are more than striking. However, as the case starts to escalate, and more and more people die, he starts to realize Jaejoong might not be as innocent as he seems.
A/N: A fast, un-beta'ed update, because you guys were so kindly asking for it ^^; *prays the english is good enough* Oh, and prepare yourself... this chapter is... pretty angsty and might be a bit confusing. Hm, better leave this to make sure:
Chapter warning: Torture (nothing explicit)
---
It had been fairly easy to get from their hotel to the small airport in Chengdu, not at all difficult to book a last minute flight by using the money from Yoochun’s credit card. But now that he had arrived in Seoul Jaejoong realized just how rash his decision had been. Slightly at loss he looked around him, wondering where to go and what to do next. His plan had only gone this far.
He eyed the large subway map, knowing it by heart but not quite getting himself to decide where to go. He could try the police’s main office, but deducted that Yunho was most likely not there. Jaejoong knew that he was still on the wanted list, and running into a police office in broad daylight was probably not a good idea.
Maybe he should try the Headquarter, and torture one of the employees, that were not trained to resist, until they spilled. Jaejoong bit his lip hesitantly. They weren’t allowed to harm anyone inside the company and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what would happen if he tried to torture one.
In the end he decided on his final option: Yunho’s home. The other probably wouldn’t be there, but maybe it would give him some information, a way to get in touch with Yunho’s team members and get them to help him now that he had broken contact with Yoochun and Junsu. Of course it had been stupid to leave by himself, he realized that the moment he had left. But he also knew two other things: that he would never forgive himself if Yunho died, and that he’d do anything to keep Yoochun and Junsu out of this. Trying to escape had been his stupid idea in the first place. He should be the one to fix it, and was set on doing it properly.
With newly regained confidence Jaejoong walked towards the entrance, bought a ticket and entered the proper wagon.
He could do this, even though Yoochun wasn’t here to back him up, and Junsu wasn’t here to watch over him, he could do this. He took a deep breath and looked up at the map.
Let’s see, three stops, then change lines in…
Hesitantly Jaejoong looked around him when the subway suddenly halted to a stop, more than one passenger seeming confused as well as they hadn’t arrived at a station yet. This happened more often though, didn’t it? Subways sometimes stopped halfway, for whatever reason.
“Ladies and gentlemen, due to mechanical problems we are being delayed. We apologize and ask for you patience.”
Lovely, Jaejoong thought to himself, and looked down at his watch. Almost 6, it would get dark soon. Maybe he should consider staying at Yunho’s house for the night, even if the man wasn’t there. It was better than being outside on his own. But then again, knowing Lee Sooman he’d probably move quickly, and every second could mean life or death for Yunho.
“Ladies and gentleman…” the voice creaked, “we’re experiencing some delay due to a police investigation. We ask you all to stay calm and cooperate so we can continue our journey shortly.”
Panic started to bubble up from the pit of Jaejoong’s stomach as he clenched the subway handle tighter. A police investigation? Now? Was that normal? Automatically he reached for his pocket, wanting to call Junsu and ask him for back-up, then remembered he no longer had a phone.
Fuck. He started sweating, trembling slightly as he began to get the feeling that everyone was watching him, knowing who he was.
That’s enough, he scolded himself, and closed his eyes, aiming to reach his numb state.
Take in the fear… He could practically hear Yoochun say it.
Slowly he counted to ten, blocking all the sounds out as he pushed his emotions away: the thoughts of his friends, the thoughts of Yunho, who lovingly stroked his cheek and smiled down on him. His eyes so very gentle.
It’s what keeps you alive.
He opened his eyes… but nothing happened.
What the hell? Panicked he looked around him. Why didn’t it work?
He released the handle and past the passengers who eyed him curiously. Maybe it was this train, maybe there was something wrong with the air here. If he could just get out… He froze midway when he noticed it weren’t police officers doing the investigation, but two suited men, both awfully familiar.
Okay, just concentrate, don’t panic, he thought furiously as he turned his back to the two, then closed his eyes again, desperately trying to block away his emotions. Usually this went so easy, but somehow he couldn’t manage it this time, some emotions too strong to switch off.
This certainly wasn’t good.
“Over there!”
Fuck this, he drew out his gun, the passengers around him screaming as he aimed at the window and fired. The reaction was almost immediate: while the window cracked and shattered to pieces when he forcefully kicked against it, the two started to yell at him, but were blocked by the panicked passengers that tried to get away from him.
Jaejoong flinched when shatters of glass drove inside his hand palm, but ignored the stinging pain and proceeded to climb out of the window. He had absolutely no idea where he was, all his abilities to think properly being obscured by the fear that rushed through system. Where should he go? Left? Or was right better?
In the end he decided to go right for no real reason, running for his life, away from the screams behind him. He heard gunshots, but wasn’t sure if they were supposed to be aimed at him. He was near a subway station. If he could just reach that he should be fine.
“Hero-yah, stop!”
He didn’t, but kept running, jumping over the tracks and climbing up the platform, leaving a bloody trail behind him. He recognized this place: the subway stop to the police office. He was so close.
Easily he jumped over the gates, causing a conductor to indignantly shout at him, and ran up the stairs. They were right behind him. He ran outside the building and halted mid-step, his eyes widening when he recognized the person at the other side of the street.
Yunho-yah? Jaejoong’s heart trembled.
There he was, talking to one of his colleagues before handing back what Jaejoong presumed was her phone. He seemed distressed, but apart from that, perfectly fine. You’re still alive.
He smiled despite everything, reaching out and just about to call Yunho’s name when someone roughly grabbed him from behind.
“Got you!”
Jaejoong tried to struggle away from the hands, but they were too strong.
“Yun-“ he still tried, but large hands smothered his words before he had the chance.
He barely noticed the needle, but did feel the sting. Slowly his vision started to turn blurry, until he passed out in the assassin’s arms.
~~~
“No wait, wait, wait, not… Aah,” Jaejoong cried out, and jumped behind Yunho in an attempt to avoid the icy cold shower water.
“Oh come on,” Yunho scoffed, “it’s not that cold,” he felt the water, exclaimed a strange squeal and looked at him so utterly shocked Jaejoong burst out in laughter.
“Told you so!”
“Okay, so it’s a tiny bit cold, wait let me just-“
Jaejoong didn’t give him the chance to finish before he pushed Yunho underneath the still freezing shower, laughing when the other cried out indignantly, and then quickly jumped after him. Without any shame he pressed his water-drenched body against Yunho’s, using the cold water as an excuse and smiled innocently.
“You know you have to be punished for that, don’t you,” Yunho whispered, brushing the wet strands that stuck to his forehead out of his face.
While the freezing water slowly increased in heat, making them comfortably warm, Jaejoong leaned in and tilted his head, brushing his lips over Yunho’s. The other’s warm breath was ghosting over his, and made his heart tingle pleasantly.
“I love you,” Jaejoong whispered in reply, Yunho’s strokes faltering as he looked down on him.
“Jaejoong-ah…”
~~~
Jaejoong gasped when the ice-cold water pulled him back to reality, his breath hitching when someone lifted his head up. Where was he? Confused he looked up, the person above him nothing but a blurred circle, with dark patches where his eyes were supposed to be. Where were Junsu and Yoochun? There were shades, people, many of them too. But he couldn’t see what they were doing.
“He might lose consciousness...”
“Again.”
“… Are you sure?”
“Do it.”
The light sting of the needle was nothing compared to the pain that followed, the stab in the back of his head mind numbing and soon followed by intense fear. He knew what they were using, he had used the same liquid before, but instead of spilling secrets and obeying like he was supposed to do Jaejoong could only scream. This serum wasn’t supposed to work this way… was it? He already felt his consciousness slipping as his vision became blurry.
“Tell me…”
What is happening…
~~~
“Hmm, not yet…” Jaejoong smiled, his heart fluttering. “I still need to blow-dry my hair.”
“Is that so?” Yunho asked as he re-entered the bathroom and stood behind him, brushing through his hair and messing it up even more. “You should leave it like this. It’s cute.”
“Yah… what are you doing?” He looked up, met Yunho’s gentle gaze and smiled. He really was too perfect.
“Are you hungry yet?” Yunho whispered, “I could make you breakfast…”
~~~
“He’s on again.”
Jaejoong groaned when someone grabbed his hair and pulled his head back.
“Where are the other two?”
Pathetically he whimpered, the blood that was trickling down his nose and into his mouth making him sick to his stomach. At least Yoochun and Junsu were still safe. Yunho was still safe. This was such a stupid mistake. “I don’t know…”
“Again.”
“Lee Sooman-nim, the serum is not working, I think they did something to him but he won’t switch to his numb state anymore. We cannot interrogate him unless he’s in it. Maybe we should wait-“
“No, continue now. I need to find those other two so they can be punished accordingly!”
“If we go on too long we might permanently damage him…“
“Boss, this serum causes hallucinations, if we-“
“Do it!”
“Yes sir.”
Jaejoong looked up, Siwon’s hazy face nothing but a large, washed out circle to him. The other was bound to be in his numb state, but managed to whisper despite of it.
“You want me to end it?”
He shifted his gaze to the needle, knowing Lee Sooman would never be this easy on him.
“No…”
Siwon seemed to hesitate, but when Sooman demanded him to hurry, stuck the needle in Jaejoong’s neck, “stay strong…” and forced the liquid inside of him.
I’ll try.
~~~
“No, more like… yeah, like that,” Jaejoong nodded, applauding when Yunho broke the egg properly inside the pan, the butter sizzling where it touched the surface. “Now, watch and learn,” he smiled, took the spatula from Yunho’s hands and prepared himself to flick the omelet in one swift, fluent motion.
“You smell nice,” Yunho whispered in his neck, and wrapped his arms around his back, causing Jaejoong to smile and forget all about the omelet until it was too late.
“Aaah!”
“Very professional.”
“Yah, it’s your fault,” Jaejoong shot back, smacking Yunho’s arm before his love grabbed him by the waist and flung him over his shoulder. He screamed out, laughing as he tried to get Yunho to put him down. Their breakfast was long forgotten, but he didn’t care.
~~~
“Lock him away.”
Jaejoong was too tired to utter complaints when someone grabbed his shoulders and lifted his head up. Was it Lee Sooman? Or Siwon? Maybe one of the others… All he wanted was to go back to sleep.
“What, just leave him here?”
“I’ve changed my plan. Get him out of my sight.”
“Yes, sir.”
~~~
“Just get in the car already.”
“I love you,” Jaejoong whispered.
Yunho chuckled softly. “I love you too…” he replied, smiling down on him so very tenderly, and brushed his thumb over Jaejoong’s bottom lip, before leaning in and kissing him. Even after all this time, it still felt as if he was in heaven.
~~~
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When Jaejoong finally woke up his head was pounding, and he could barely feel his limbs anymore. The cold floor below him had taken away all his warmth and all his strength. How long had he been here? A few hours? Days? Weeks? He had completely lost track of time, his cell not allowing any sunlight in: only dark metal and grey stones surrounding him.
He sighed as he curled up into a ball, not wanting to dream anymore, not wanting to feel anymore. It hurt too much.
"Jae..."
Tiredly he closed his eyes as he turned a little, attempting to get more comfortable but not quite getting there. He was thirsty, so thirsty...
Was Lee Sooman just going to let him rot here? Even though the serum hadn’t worked, he still felt weird because of it.
"Jaejoong-ah, are you sleeping?"
Jaejoong looked up, slowly, his vision blurry as if he had been drinking for too long. That voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place where he had heard it before. There was a dark figure in the cell besides him. Hadn’t it been empty before?
He tried to focus his vision, but the figure remained blurry.
"Su?" he managed to ask in a raspy voice, and looked closer. That wasn’t possible, right? He really must be losing it. So thirsty…
"Yah, why is it always him you think of first?"
It was clearly Yoochun, and now that Jaejoong recognized him he smiled, his dry lips bursting from the strain. Vaguely he tasted blood. "Yoochun-ah."
"Of course it's me," Yoochun replied, stood up, and walked to the bars that separated their cells. He didn't quite look the way he had done before they left; less tired, more at ease. Almost like an angel with his long, dark hair framing his fair features.
"Have I ever told you you should keep your hair long?" Jaejoong asked as he watched Yoochun wrap his fingers around the bars and crouch down. "It looks good on you."
Yoochun chuckled. "You have, a million times before." He looked at Jaejoong, tilting his head as if he was making a judgment. "Come here," he said finally.
Jaejoong sighed as he rested his head back against the cold, damp wall and closed his eyes. "Maybe later..."
"You're just going to let them kill you like this?"
Jaejoong shrugged.
"You know," Yoochun continued as he sat down and rested his head against the bars, sideways looking at Jaejoong. "I've always been a little jealous of you."
"Why?" Jaejoong asked as a small smile appeared on his lips. "Because mine is bigger than yours?"
He heard Yoochun chuckle, warm and kind, like they were having just another daily conversation over a cup of tea or bottle of Soju. A conversation they never had had in their real lives. "That too, of course. But no. Because you are so much stronger than I am." He looked up at the ceiling, and pulled his legs up to his chest. "You've always been so certain that you would get out one day. That we would be able to get out one day."
Jaejoong smiled, not really bitter, but not really convincing either.
"Even in the end I didn't quite believe you," Yoochun sighed. "I'm not sure if I even believe you now... But Junsu does. He really looks up to you, you know."
"How is he?" Jaejoong asked as he opened his eyes again, the dark cell never changing, locking him in and keeping him there. "Is he angry because I left?"
"He misses you."
Jaejoong lowered his eyes as he tried to shift to a more comfortable position for the seventh time. "I miss him too..."
"We both miss you."
Jaejoong looked up at Yoochun, who was gazing at him again, and drew a shaky breath. Crying had been so foreign to him before, but he started to get used to it. In a way, it was a release.
"Do you think you made a mistake?"
"I don't know..." Jaejoong replied, his voice barely more than a whisper. From the corner of his eyes the first tear trickled down. "No..."
Yoochun smiled. "We couldn't give you what you needed, Jaejoong-ah," he said. "We always knew you’d leave us eventually. At least you had a good reason.”
"But look at where I am now," Jaejoong breathed, one tear after the other flowing down his cheeks as he looked down. "I'm nowhere."
"Does that bother you?"
"It does..."
"Why?"
"What if Yunho finds me like this,” Jaejoong's breath hitched in his throat. “Or what if he doesn't come at all..."
"Barely half a year ago you couldn't have cared less about what would happen to you. None of us could. We were trained not to care after all, weren't we," Yoochun said as he trailed his finger over the prison bar. "But now you're worrying about the state you'll be in when Yunho finds you," Yoochun chuckled as he shook his head. "I'm not sure if I should be proud or not."
"I'm not sure what happened either." Jaejoong smiled a little despite himself.
"I think you're starting to live."
He looked up at Yoochun.
"Must feel great,” Yoochun smiled. "But I'm not envious of that. Just motivated. One day Junsu and I will get there as well."
"Promise to think of me when you do."
"Of course we will," Yoochun said, and motioned him closer for the second time. "Come here."
This time Jaejoong did comply. First stretching his painful limps, then crawling closer until his hands could touch the cold metal. He sighed as he rested his shoulder against the bars and reached up to touch Yoochun's hand. He could feel the other stroking his hair, even though it shouldn't be possible with the bars in between them.
"What will happen if I die here?" Jaejoong asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
"Hm," Yoochun hummed, "a tricky question. Junsu would've known a wonderful answer to that, but I'm not sure if it will sound convincing if it comes out of my mouth.”
"Try me," Jaejoong replied as he closed his eyes, enjoying the comfort the other was giving him.
"Junsu once told me," Yoochun started, his voice low and vibrating. "That he believes in reincarnation.” Jaejoong looked up at him, but Yoochun merely smiled. “You know what he’s like… He said that after die you'll get reborn, but it won’t be a fresh start. Your new life will be a representation of the emotions you experienced in the final moments of your previous life, so he said. You know what you felt last time, don’t you?"
"Hurt, sad... impossibly afraid to die."
"And so much in love."
Jaejoong smiled as he opened his eyes. "Maybe some of that too."
"If Sooman hadn't taken away your dreams you might have had a good life. But maybe you were too fractured from the way you died after all. How do you feel now?"
"Not so much afraid to die..."
"But?"
"Cold... Alone... As if I’m about to lose it.”
"It doesn't feel very good, does it?" Yoochun stated as he stopped his stroking and brushed a tear off Jaejoong's cheek.
"Not really."
"Would you like to feel like this in your next life as well?" Yoochun asked. Jaejoong felt him looking down on him.
"No..."
"Then maybe it's a good idea to stay alive, don't you think?"
Jaejoong smiled slightly as he leaned into Yoochun's touch. "That must be the most roundabout way to say that."
"Yah," his friend said as he lightly pulled Jaejoong's ear. "I told you Junsu was better with these kind of things."
"I suppose so," Jaejoong replied, his smile still there. "He was better with a lot of things."
The both of them remained silent as Jaejoong rested there, his head against the prison bars with Yoochun on the other side. It felt good to have him here, even though he knew that it was not real. Yoochun was far away now, with Junsu, and he was here. Alone. But you are both safe, at least.
"Are you going to stay here with me?" he asked.
Yoochun shifted a little and took Jaejoong's hands in his, brushing over them with his fingers. Even his scent seemed real, a cologne he had never quite found a liking in but that was strangely comforting now. If only he could see them one more time and tell them he was sorry, tell them he had never meant for things to turn this way. "Do you want me to?"
"Yes," Jaejoong whispered, as he closed his eyes again "I'd like that..."
Yoochun rested his hand on his head. “Then I’ll stay.”
Softly Jaejoong smiled. Like this he could barely feel the cold bars anymore, his mind shutting itself in his safe, dream-like shell. Slowly he gave in to the pull and closed his eyes.
Yoochun-ah…
He slumped to the floor, resting his head on the cold, wet surface and gave in to the pull.
maybe one day…
“… can you hear me… hello?”
We will meet again.
“Someone call an ambulance, I think this one is still alive!”
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Chapter 21 | Chapter 23
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