Heavenly Reincarnation: Chapter 9
Title: Heavenly reincarnationPairing(s): Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Jaejoong/Junsu
Genre: Romance, Angst, Crime/Suspense, Drama
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: character death, murder, sexual content, language, angst
Length: 9/?
Summary: For as long as he can remember, Yunho has been dreaming about a person he loved more than life itself, dying because of his fault. When he and his investigation team are put on a gruesome multiple homicide case he meets a journalist, Kim Jaejoong, whose close resemblances to the person in his dreams are more than striking. However, as the case starts to escalate, and more and more people die, he starts to realize Jaejoong might not be as innocent as he seems.
A/N: Updates are coming slightly slow because I fail at life am still having trouble with finishing the last few chapters of this fic, and want to get that over with first ^-^; That's a good reason, right?
Oh and maybe something that's good to know; whenever you see the "~~~" it means a dream is starting/ending ;3
---
How could I be so careless? Jaejoong thought and got off the bus. When he had left he was sure it had just been in the spurt of the moment that he kissed Yunho, just the stress needing a way out, but as time passed he became less and less sure of himself. He shivered, trying to shake off the weird feeling of a déjà-vu as he walked up the stairs and opened the door to Yoochun’s apartment.
Silently he took off his shoes and coat, confusion and frustration battling with denial in his brain. He could practically feel Yunho’s hands still cupping his face, kissing him gently.
Nothing. It was nothing. It wasn’t even a real kiss. It was just a peck on the lips! … Sort of…
Jaejoong sighed as he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes to collect his thoughts. He took a few seconds, forcing his beating heart to calm down before he proceeded his way to the living room. Here Junsu sat on the couch and was focused on his phone, an opportunity Jaejoong immediately took to flop down beside him and quickly rest his head in the other’s lap. Before Junsu could stop him Jaejoong had already nestled comfortably against him.
“Is Yoochun done yet?” he mumbled.
“I think so,” Junsu said as he put away his phone and started toying with Jaejoong’s hair. “He doesn’t really answer his phone...”
Junsu’s hesitant manner of speech told him enough. If Yoochun didn’t answer his phone he was either dead or still in his numb state. Jaejoong guessed the second and started to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, knowing that it wasn’t going to be nice.
“So how did your part go?” Junsu asked, pushing Jaejoong’s head off his lap so he could lie next to him instead. The couch was slightly too cramped for two people to lie side by side, but as long as they lay half on top of each other and didn’t move it worked.
“It went fine...”
“Just fine?” Junsu asked, hands returning towards Jaejoong’s hair.
“Yunho heard everything we wanted him to hear.”
Junsu frowned as he shifted his focus from Jaejoong’s hair to his eyes. “Did something happen?”
Jaejoong was almost certain Junsu would be able to ease his mind, that he would tell him it had been nothing and take his worries away. But he didn’t get the chance to answer him when Junsu looked up from hearing the sound of keys in a lock. The door opened, and Jaejoong could hear Yoochun walking in as Junsu looked down at him again, his eyes speaking for him.
“Yeah, I’ll go,” Jaejoong sighed as he reluctantly forced himself away from the other’s comfortable warmth.
The younger nodded and lifted himself off the couch, casting a hesitant look in the direction of the hallway before making his way towards the bedroom. Jaejoong waited until the other had left, then stood up and walked to the front door.
The first thing he saw was Yoochun sitting crouched down on the floor, and for a second Jaejoong thought he was already crying before he realized Yoochun was just untying his shoelaces.
“Yoochun?” he asked, on his guard.
Yoochun looked up at him, his eyes cold and almost unseeing. They made a shiver run down Jaejoong’s spine, but he pushed his fears aside and walked towards his friend. “Let’s go take a shower together,” he spoke softly, placing a hand on Yoochun’s shoulder, “okay?”
Yoochun got up, kicked off his shoes, and without saying anything walked past Jaejoong towards the bathroom, pushing the hand away.
Jaejoong took a deep breath, counted to ten, then followed him silently. His whole body felt tense when he entered the bathroom, taking two towels from the rail and bringing them with him. Carefully he placed them inside the sink as he eyed Yoochun fumbling with his blouse’s buttons.
“Here,” he said when Yoochun still hadn’t managed to undo but one button after several attempts, and closed the distance in between them, “let me help you.”
Yoochun eyed him blankly while Jaejoong undid the buttons of his shirt, but he replied the cold glare with a warm smile. “Better?” he asked after he had undone the last button, hoping that his fear wasn’t audible. He really hated Yoochun when he was like this.
Yoochun shrugged and turned away, ridding himself of his blouse and pants before stepping inside the cabin, still not saying a word.
He bit his lip hesitantly, watching Yoochun shower, not sure if it would be safe to join him yet. When Yoochun didn’t make any gestures towards him however Jaejoong felt safe enough to turn his back to him. After he had rid himself of his shirt he suddenly heard a loud thud behind him, and turned around to find Yoochun kneeling down on the floor, his hands clenching his long hair as he hurdled into a ball.
That’s fast...
Jaejoong dropped his shirt on the floor but didn’t take the time to remove his pants as he quickly stepped inside the shower and kneeled down besides Yoochun. The icy cold water immediately drenched him to the bone and caused a shiver to run down his spine.
“Yoochun-ah,” he started gently as he placed a hand on the other’s naked, trembling frame. “Can you hear me?”
He made sure to keep his distance, well aware of what Yoochun was capable of doing if he was in this state.
Yoochun didn’t reply so Jaejoong turned the water warmer, sat down against the wall and waited. He watched Yoochun’s hands clench at nothing, heard his breath hitch.
“Yoochun-ah,” he whispered, and leaned closer. “Can you hear me?” He flinched when Yoochun suddenly clenched his arm painfully tight.
“D-don’t,” Yoochun whispered in reply, his voice hoarse with held back emotions.
“I’m here,” Jaejoong replied, hesitantly stroking the strands of Yoochun’s long, dark hair like he was a porcelain doll about to break into pieces. “Just let go.” The painful grip on his arm faltered a little, but the sore numb feeling remained. He was bound to have a bruise tomorrow.
“Jae…” Yoochun whimpered.
The moment that feebly, familiar voice reached his ears Jaejoong wrapped his arms around him, allowing his friend to hurl up against his chest.
“It hurts,” Yoochun breathed, a first dry sob escaping over his lips.
I know, trust me I know.
“It’s okay,” Jaejoong replied, cradling him like a small child. “You’re safe. Just let it go.”
While he held his friend tightly Jaejoong could feel him fall apart, his numb, calculating state disappearing and making room for his real emotions. First a dry sob, grip tightening and faltering seemingly at random as he started to shiver uncontrollably, then the tears falling freely. He knew what Yoochun was thinking about, knew what he was struggling with.
“W-what have I done…”
“It was necessary,” Jaejoong whispered.
“H-he was just... a child...”
“He’s better off now,” he said honestly.
Deep inside he was just happy it hadn’t been him who had to shoot Taemin.
As he allowed Yoochun to pour all his emotions over his shoulder, sobbing desperately as he kept asking why he had to do it, Jaejoong took the shampoo and started to wash the other’s hair carefully. The shower rained down on them and rinsed away the soap and awful streaks of reddish pink, the only reminder of what Yoochun had done. Silently Jaejoong stroked Yoochun’s hair and felt his sobbing grew less vile until it ceased to a mere uneven breathing.
With some strain Jaejoong tilted Yoochun off him, placed him against the wall where he had sat, and tried to stand up, his limbs numb from sitting on the marble floor for too long. Hesitantly he looked down at Yoochun, who was staring at the tiles unseeingly, and then turned off the shower before he grabbed a towel.
“Here,” he whispered as he wrapped it around his friend, smiling gently when Yoochun’s eyes met his. They were red and puffy from crying, but at least they were no longer empty.
Yoochun sighed as he looked down again.
“Thank you...”
Jaejoong brushed over his cheek, “we should thank you, you know that,” he smiled again and stood up to rid himself of his drenched jeans.
That was the last word he spilled on it, after this they would never mention the murder on a personal level again. It had been done, just like many others had been done before, and it was over now. Jaejoong took a towel and wrapped it around himself as he watched Yoochun struggling up.
“You can go to bed,” he smiled as he saw Yoochun looking around him hesitantly, “I’ll clean up.”
Yoochun nodded, opened his mouth as if he wanted to say more but then seemed to change his mind and wrapped the towel around tighter instead before he walked away. Jaejoong followed him with his eyes, making sure he went inside the bedroom where Junsu was instead of sulking somewhere by himself. He shrugged off the weird feeling that Yoochun had something important to say and turned his attention back towards the mirror. He could always ask him tomorrow. Contemplating he looked at himself, frowned, and watched the reflection frown back.
We’re halfway, he thought as he touched the mirror’s surface, his own reflection beaming uncertainty, almost there. Soon this will all be over.
I hope.
He sighed as he turned away to clean up the mess they had made, put on some cast aside jeans he wasn’t even sure who it belonged to, and finally made his way towards the living room. Jaejoong hesitated as when he noticed that the door to their bedroom was closed, wondering if his friends were already asleep. Then, as silently as possible, opened it and peeked inside.
To his relief Yoochun indeed lay on the bed, wrapped in Junsu’s arms who stroked his hair in exactly the same fashion Jaejoong had done. He seemed asleep already, as his body was no longer trembling but moving in tune with his slow breathing. Careful not to make a sound Jaejoong opened the door further and sneaked inside, Junsu turning towards him with a worried look on his face.
“How is he?” Jaejoong whispered as he leaned on the bed, “asleep yet?” Briefly he touched Yoochun’s shoulder, but the other didn’t move.
“Yes,” Junsu whispered back, “but…” he shifted a little and sat up. “He’s worried Jaejoong...”
“We all are.”
“More than he usually is.”
Jaejoong sighed, “it’s too late to go back now.”
“It’s not that...” he cast a hesitant glance at Yoochun before he looked back up at Jaejoong. “He says he’s worried about you.”
Jaejoong looked at Yoochun as he tried to hide the small flicker of annoyance he felt. What have I done this time?
“Jae?”
“I’m fine,” he said as he looked up at Junsu again, smiling comfortingly, “tell him not to worry.”
“Yeah...” Junsu whispered in reply, watching Yoochun shift a little in his sleep before leaning back on the bed and wrap his arms around him once more. Jaejoong looked at the two, realizing there was no way he could lie next to them without waking Yoochun, and stood up. He would just stay awake until he had made sure the other had gotten enough sleep.
“Jaejoong-ah?” Junsu asked when Jaejoong got off the bed.
“Hm?”
“If there’s... If there’s something bothering you, you’d always tell us... right?”
“Of course I would,” he lied easily. “Tell me when he wakes up.” He gave Junsu a small smile before he left the room and carefully closed the door behind him. He flopped down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Still slightly annoyed he started to bite his lip. Why are you worried? I know what I’m doing…
He closed his eyes briefly, his tiredness giving him a headache, and started to wonder what they should do next.
You can’t fall asleep yet. Not alone…
And wondered just how long they would be able to go on like this.
Jaejoong turned around in his half-sleep, his mind clouding over with weariness as he vaguely wondered what Yunho was doing at that moment.
Maybe Yoochun is right…
Jaejoong sighed.
Maybe I shouldn’t let him come too close...
And he drifted away.
~~~
I’ve done it... An intense pride swelled up inside Jaejoong’s chest as he let the body slip from his hands. I’ve actually, done it...
He glanced from the corpse to the dagger in his hands, deep-red droplets falling to the bright green grass to glisten there like rubies, leaving marks of what he had done. A smile came over his lips as he gazed at the mighty general, now lifeless on the ground.
We won... We actually won!
The words chanted through his head over and over again, but it still took forever before he could comprehend it. His enemies were already starting to flee, fearful now that they no longer had their leader.
It’s over… I can go home.
Jaejoong sped by his enemies easily, his allies backing him up on every side, clapping his shoulders and grinning near hysterically as they slaughtered more men like wild beasts. It was impossibly cruel, but Jaejoong didn’t care, he was only focused on one person.
Yunho-yah, we can go home!
The environment grew hazier with every step he took, like a dream about to float away and disappear without ever finishing. Was this a dream? If it was he didn’t want to wake up; the endless love he felt, intense pride swelling up in his chest, he now knew what it was to be truly alive.
Yunho-yah, look! Look, we’ve won!
He found his lover amidst the crowd, unaware of anything yet. His heart started to beat faster as he ran towards him, full of anticipation.
We can be together now, forever.
Quickly he took Yunho’s shoulder to prevent him from running to the next enemy to kill. Jaejoong wanted him to turn around, soothe him, tell him what he knew. He smiled brightly as he closed the last bit of distance in between them. “Yunho-yah stop, it’s-“
His lover turned around with raged, unseeing eyes and stabbed.
Over…
At first there was only disbelief, then an incredible pain shooting from his stomach. Jaejoong barely comprehended what had happened as he stared back at the person he loved most and collapsed. He saw Yunho hover over him, strangely distant, strangely unreal. The pain seemed endless but his mind was only focused on him. He wanted to tell Yunho it was going to be okay, that they would live. Live together, like he had promised.
“No, no, no, please… Oh god…”
Jaejoong watched Yunho’s handsome face distort in agony, that face he loved so much. All the happiness he had felt earlier, all the pride, was gone now. Why are you crying? The war is over… I ended it… You shouldn’t be crying.
“I-It hurts,” he heard himself gasp, but that wasn’t what he wanted to say. Pleading he looked up at Yunho. Don’t cry, “Please...” it hurts to see you cry. I want to see you happy.
“You can’t die. It was an accident, I’m so sorry...”
Jaejoong’s breath hitched as his hands clenched at Yunho’s garments, wanting him to come closer and stop telling lies. He wasn’t dying, how did he dare to say that? He tasted something metallic in his mouth. You promised we would be together! You promised… He wanted to shout at Yunho but the pain in his stomach took all his willpower away.
“Please...” safe me.
He didn’t see the knife until it was too late.
~~~
Jaejoong gasped, clasping at his throat as he rolled off the couch and fell down on the floor. His chest was clenching painfully tight, making it difficult for him to see properly as he struggled towards the bedroom, towards safety. He wasn’t allowed to remember, and his whole body was fighting against the memories. No longer caring that he disturbed the others. He ripped the blanket off the two and forced himself in between them.
Yoochun mumbled something in his sleep, but didn’t wake up. Jaejoong shivered as he hurdled up against his body, and felt Junsu wrap his arms around him from behind. Like that he remained lying there shivering, waiting for the fear and pain to go away, and as Junsu’s breathing slowly turned even again they did. He pressed his body against Yoochun’s closer, hurt slowly lessening and making place for mere tiredness.
Slowly he drifted away to sleep for the second time, long forgotten what it was he had dreamed about.
---
Chapter 8 | Chapter 10
---