Fanfiction - Wrong still feels wrong
Title: Wrong still feels wrong
Author: crazy_otaku911
Pairing: Tamamori-centric; Takaki Yuya X Tamamori Yuta (one-sided), Takaki Yuya X Yamada Ryousuke
Rating: PG
Summary: Tamamori's developed feelings for someone he shouldn't and he's can't get rid of them. It's so wrong but it just won't go away and it's driving him insane.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Slight angst. Almost incest. Improper AIM.
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki ♥ - Set in a slightly tweaked reality because Takaki and Tamamori are cousins. Takasugi Touichi is Yamada's character from Scrap Teacher. Takasugi Reita is Tamamori's character from Gokusen 3's SP and Gokusen the Movie. Written for jentfic_remix. A remix of Chaotic Chatroom by liquid_drop.
By now he'd almost gotten used to the pain.
Almost.
Maybe he just liked doing this to himself. Throwing his world upside down by wanting things that he knew he shouldn't want. It wasn't enough to realize he was attracted to men, a revelation that had ruined his relationship with Minami Akina back in high school. She'd probably been the best thing he'd ever have...but after a while he just couldn't find it in him to go on. Things felt weird. She felt different.
But no, that wasn't enough. Now his heart had settled on someone. A guy. Not perfect, not even close, but he had that smile, that sweetness that made you a little happier, the kind of heart that made you just want to hold him close and cover him with kisses.
Tamamori wasn't used to feeling that way about another guy...and he knew for sure that he shouldn't be feeling that way about his cousin. It was wrong. He knew that.
But it didn't make the feelings go away.
He couldn't help it. After filming for Gokusen, they'd become a lot closer, actually finding it okay to talk to each other in public, making time for each other. Tamamori had loved every single second of it, feeling a small victory when he could just walk in to Takaki's room and the other would automatically scoot over on the bed to make room for him.
“I thought you had practice today.” Takaki glanced up from his laptop with an amused smile as Tamamori entered the room, returning from a walk.
Tamamori shrugged, stretching out and yawning. “Later today. Besides, I left all my stuff here.” Looking over, he nodded to the laptop on Takaki's lap. “Anyone saying anything interesting?”
“I'm not signed on, actually.” Takaki snorted. “Nagase-san's drunk already...It was getting weird.”
Tamamori wrinkled his nose in agreement, though really, anything involving Nagase was automatically weird. Drunk Nagase in the afternoon on the Johnny's aim blast? Definitely weird. “I bet he's gone by now...” Pulling out his phone, he signed on, checking if there was anything going on. He nearly laughed when he saw Takaki sign on moments later. His alias was 'Yamato x Takasugi = LOVE'. Thinking back to Gokusen, Tamamori had to smile, knowing his own alias was 'Reita'. Rolling on to his stomach as he tapped out a response. 'Ew, Yuya, gross!
Takaki chuckled, choosing to respond online instead of aloud. 'Not you, dopehead.' The message appeared, 'I was talking about Yama-chan!
Oh.
Tamamori felt the smile slip slightly though he tried to just look amused, choosing to reply online as well. 'My bad...'
They weren't alone for long. Tamamori's friend and leader appeared, already staking his claim on Fujigaya Taisuke. Tamamori wasn't sure what possessed the man, but Kitayama's alias was 'Taisuke is MINE'. As if no one knew that already, the way they made out in the hallways.
'I didn't know you liked Tamamori...' Was the first thing the older man sent out. Tamamori could feel his cheeks turn pink, though he was hoped it wasn't so obvious.
'I’m talking about Yama-chan!'
'Ohhh, I thought you were talking about Tama-chan….Wait…. Does that mean that you and Yamada are actually together?'
Kitayama's question brought a frown to Tamamori's lips, not liking the question at all. Dislike was replaced by a sudden lack of a heartbeat at Takaki's response.
'Wait…. You mean you didn't know?'
It took him a moment to regain his breath, trying to just act cool and take in stride. He could feel the other's eyes on him so he smiled, again replying via IM.
And here I thought I'd be the first to know, Tamamori thought, saying just as much online.
'Oops, I forgot.' Takaki's reply popped up. 'Stop pouting!'
“I am not pouting.” Tamamori glowered over at him. He couldn't believe it. Takaki was really going out with Yamada? He hadn't known. He hadn't even realized they liked each other like that. Why had Takaki never mentioned it before? They talked a lot! Didn't they? They saw each other every day. They spent the night at each other's houses all the time. Why...why was he only hearing this now?
“Yes, you are, it's obvious.” Takaki laughed, nudging at him with a foot.
“Oh yeah?” Tamamori sent off on last reply before dropping his phone and crawling on top of Takaki. “I'm pouting?” He wasn't, but he was also trying to not look upset. Takaki didn't need to notice that Tamamori wasn't happy for him and his new boyfriend. “You just wish I was.” He let Takaki type out one more reply before moving the laptop out of danger's way, on to the bedside table. Takaki was giving him a smile, laughing in amusement and Tamamori couldn't breath for a moment. This wasn't something he was supposed to want, crawling on top of the other boy. But he looked so cute like this. Distracting the both of them, Tamamori launched an attack of tickles on the other.
“Aaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!” Takaki shrieked, flailing and trying to bat Tamamori away. They rolled around on the bed for a few minutes, wrestling and laughing before they collapsed in a heap, laughing and panting, trying to breathe as they pushed at each other's faces, half heartedly.
“You're a freak.” Takaki chuckled, stretching out on the bed, fixing his hair.
Oh, if only you knew....Tamamori kept the thought to himself, just snorting and rolling away, returning to his phone and letting Takaki get his laptop again. He ignored the continuing conversation except for the occasional question, barely even smiling when Fujigaya signed on, declaring his love for Kitayama. His mind in a buzz, trying to ignore the dull thud in his chest. He was not going to emo like a little girl because his cousin had a boyfriend. He wasn't supposed to care.
He wasn't supposed to want him.
It gnawed at his consciousness and he wished it would stop. He knew, he knew it was wrong. Okay, so it wasn't like they were brothers, but everyone knew that cousins was just cutting it a bit too close. It wasn't right. He wasn't right.
God, he wished it would stop.
“Alright~” A while later, Takaki snapped the laptop shut, rolling out of bed. “Going on a date, peace.” He went to grab sneakers and glanced at the boy on the bed. “You gonna be here when I get back?”
Tamamori was scrambling off the bed. “Late for work.” He groaned before adding. “Yeah...I guess I'll be back though.” He was too lazy to gather up his stuff. At least, that's what he was telling himself. Even in his own head, he didn't sound convincing, so it was a good thing he wasn't saying it aloud.
Takaki laughed, pushing him out of the door ahead of him. “I'll see you then, Yuta~”
“See you, Yuya~” Tamamori gave the other a quick, tight smile and dashed off in the opposite direction, trying to get away from Takaki and his stupidly charming smiles as quickly as possible.
Practice flew by in a whirl, though Tamamori felt out of it. Miyata kept on glancing at him, worried and Tamamori just tried to brush his best friend's questions off. He was fine.
Okay, he wasn't.
But he would be.
Wouldn't he?
Takaki was already asleep by the time Tamamori returned, but his aunt just gave him a smile and shooed him to the shower, leaving a few cookies out for him for after. The gesture made him grin, nibbling on a cookie as he crept in to the room.
He had to thank any deity listening for the fact that Takaki had been so tired lately that he fell asleep with clothes on for the most part. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Takaki went naked during one of their sleepovers. It wouldn't be pleasant, either way.
Takaki mumbled in his sleep when Tamamori climbed in, rolling automatically to snuggle against him. Tamamori's breath caught as he looked down at the innocent, sleeping face.
“I hate this.” He whispered, so quietly the sound didn't even reach his ears. “I want...I don't know what to do.” He felt the despair welling up inside. He couldn't make it go away. He knew it was wrong. He knew he'd never have a chance. He knew he shouldn't even want a chance.
It didn't change things.
Because even if his brain said one thing....
His heart knew that he was undeniably in love with Takaki Yuya.
Cause you hold me close I feel you near
Don’t let go say you’ll always be here
So just hold me tight and I’ll be fine
Dreaming you will always be mine
“I'm sorry.” He whispered, leaning down, leaving on small kiss of regret on the other's lips, feeling his mind shred a little more, because his heart refused to give up on it all.
_________________________________
A/N: I'm not sure what to think about this one...It was easier to write then my other remix (which is currently undergoing rewrites now that the challenge has ended.) But the whole thing was fun enough! :D
Author: crazy_otaku911
Pairing: Tamamori-centric; Takaki Yuya X Tamamori Yuta (one-sided), Takaki Yuya X Yamada Ryousuke
Rating: PG
Summary: Tamamori's developed feelings for someone he shouldn't and he's can't get rid of them. It's so wrong but it just won't go away and it's driving him insane.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Slight angst. Almost incest. Improper AIM.
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki ♥ - Set in a slightly tweaked reality because Takaki and Tamamori are cousins. Takasugi Touichi is Yamada's character from Scrap Teacher. Takasugi Reita is Tamamori's character from Gokusen 3's SP and Gokusen the Movie. Written for jentfic_remix. A remix of Chaotic Chatroom by liquid_drop.
By now he'd almost gotten used to the pain.
Almost.
Maybe he just liked doing this to himself. Throwing his world upside down by wanting things that he knew he shouldn't want. It wasn't enough to realize he was attracted to men, a revelation that had ruined his relationship with Minami Akina back in high school. She'd probably been the best thing he'd ever have...but after a while he just couldn't find it in him to go on. Things felt weird. She felt different.
But no, that wasn't enough. Now his heart had settled on someone. A guy. Not perfect, not even close, but he had that smile, that sweetness that made you a little happier, the kind of heart that made you just want to hold him close and cover him with kisses.
Tamamori wasn't used to feeling that way about another guy...and he knew for sure that he shouldn't be feeling that way about his cousin. It was wrong. He knew that.
But it didn't make the feelings go away.
He couldn't help it. After filming for Gokusen, they'd become a lot closer, actually finding it okay to talk to each other in public, making time for each other. Tamamori had loved every single second of it, feeling a small victory when he could just walk in to Takaki's room and the other would automatically scoot over on the bed to make room for him.
“I thought you had practice today.” Takaki glanced up from his laptop with an amused smile as Tamamori entered the room, returning from a walk.
Tamamori shrugged, stretching out and yawning. “Later today. Besides, I left all my stuff here.” Looking over, he nodded to the laptop on Takaki's lap. “Anyone saying anything interesting?”
“I'm not signed on, actually.” Takaki snorted. “Nagase-san's drunk already...It was getting weird.”
Tamamori wrinkled his nose in agreement, though really, anything involving Nagase was automatically weird. Drunk Nagase in the afternoon on the Johnny's aim blast? Definitely weird. “I bet he's gone by now...” Pulling out his phone, he signed on, checking if there was anything going on. He nearly laughed when he saw Takaki sign on moments later. His alias was 'Yamato x Takasugi = LOVE'. Thinking back to Gokusen, Tamamori had to smile, knowing his own alias was 'Reita'. Rolling on to his stomach as he tapped out a response. 'Ew, Yuya, gross!
Takaki chuckled, choosing to respond online instead of aloud. 'Not you, dopehead.' The message appeared, 'I was talking about Yama-chan!
Oh.
Tamamori felt the smile slip slightly though he tried to just look amused, choosing to reply online as well. 'My bad...'
They weren't alone for long. Tamamori's friend and leader appeared, already staking his claim on Fujigaya Taisuke. Tamamori wasn't sure what possessed the man, but Kitayama's alias was 'Taisuke is MINE'. As if no one knew that already, the way they made out in the hallways.
'I didn't know you liked Tamamori...' Was the first thing the older man sent out. Tamamori could feel his cheeks turn pink, though he was hoped it wasn't so obvious.
'I’m talking about Yama-chan!'
'Ohhh, I thought you were talking about Tama-chan….Wait…. Does that mean that you and Yamada are actually together?'
Kitayama's question brought a frown to Tamamori's lips, not liking the question at all. Dislike was replaced by a sudden lack of a heartbeat at Takaki's response.
'Wait…. You mean you didn't know?'
It took him a moment to regain his breath, trying to just act cool and take in stride. He could feel the other's eyes on him so he smiled, again replying via IM.
And here I thought I'd be the first to know, Tamamori thought, saying just as much online.
'Oops, I forgot.' Takaki's reply popped up. 'Stop pouting!'
“I am not pouting.” Tamamori glowered over at him. He couldn't believe it. Takaki was really going out with Yamada? He hadn't known. He hadn't even realized they liked each other like that. Why had Takaki never mentioned it before? They talked a lot! Didn't they? They saw each other every day. They spent the night at each other's houses all the time. Why...why was he only hearing this now?
“Yes, you are, it's obvious.” Takaki laughed, nudging at him with a foot.
“Oh yeah?” Tamamori sent off on last reply before dropping his phone and crawling on top of Takaki. “I'm pouting?” He wasn't, but he was also trying to not look upset. Takaki didn't need to notice that Tamamori wasn't happy for him and his new boyfriend. “You just wish I was.” He let Takaki type out one more reply before moving the laptop out of danger's way, on to the bedside table. Takaki was giving him a smile, laughing in amusement and Tamamori couldn't breath for a moment. This wasn't something he was supposed to want, crawling on top of the other boy. But he looked so cute like this. Distracting the both of them, Tamamori launched an attack of tickles on the other.
“Aaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!” Takaki shrieked, flailing and trying to bat Tamamori away. They rolled around on the bed for a few minutes, wrestling and laughing before they collapsed in a heap, laughing and panting, trying to breathe as they pushed at each other's faces, half heartedly.
“You're a freak.” Takaki chuckled, stretching out on the bed, fixing his hair.
Oh, if only you knew....Tamamori kept the thought to himself, just snorting and rolling away, returning to his phone and letting Takaki get his laptop again. He ignored the continuing conversation except for the occasional question, barely even smiling when Fujigaya signed on, declaring his love for Kitayama. His mind in a buzz, trying to ignore the dull thud in his chest. He was not going to emo like a little girl because his cousin had a boyfriend. He wasn't supposed to care.
He wasn't supposed to want him.
It gnawed at his consciousness and he wished it would stop. He knew, he knew it was wrong. Okay, so it wasn't like they were brothers, but everyone knew that cousins was just cutting it a bit too close. It wasn't right. He wasn't right.
God, he wished it would stop.
“Alright~” A while later, Takaki snapped the laptop shut, rolling out of bed. “Going on a date, peace.” He went to grab sneakers and glanced at the boy on the bed. “You gonna be here when I get back?”
Tamamori was scrambling off the bed. “Late for work.” He groaned before adding. “Yeah...I guess I'll be back though.” He was too lazy to gather up his stuff. At least, that's what he was telling himself. Even in his own head, he didn't sound convincing, so it was a good thing he wasn't saying it aloud.
Takaki laughed, pushing him out of the door ahead of him. “I'll see you then, Yuta~”
“See you, Yuya~” Tamamori gave the other a quick, tight smile and dashed off in the opposite direction, trying to get away from Takaki and his stupidly charming smiles as quickly as possible.
Practice flew by in a whirl, though Tamamori felt out of it. Miyata kept on glancing at him, worried and Tamamori just tried to brush his best friend's questions off. He was fine.
Okay, he wasn't.
But he would be.
Wouldn't he?
Takaki was already asleep by the time Tamamori returned, but his aunt just gave him a smile and shooed him to the shower, leaving a few cookies out for him for after. The gesture made him grin, nibbling on a cookie as he crept in to the room.
He had to thank any deity listening for the fact that Takaki had been so tired lately that he fell asleep with clothes on for the most part. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Takaki went naked during one of their sleepovers. It wouldn't be pleasant, either way.
Takaki mumbled in his sleep when Tamamori climbed in, rolling automatically to snuggle against him. Tamamori's breath caught as he looked down at the innocent, sleeping face.
“I hate this.” He whispered, so quietly the sound didn't even reach his ears. “I want...I don't know what to do.” He felt the despair welling up inside. He couldn't make it go away. He knew it was wrong. He knew he'd never have a chance. He knew he shouldn't even want a chance.
It didn't change things.
Because even if his brain said one thing....
His heart knew that he was undeniably in love with Takaki Yuya.
Cause you hold me close I feel you near
Don’t let go say you’ll always be here
So just hold me tight and I’ll be fine
Dreaming you will always be mine
“I'm sorry.” He whispered, leaning down, leaving on small kiss of regret on the other's lips, feeling his mind shred a little more, because his heart refused to give up on it all.
_________________________________
A/N: I'm not sure what to think about this one...It was easier to write then my other remix (which is currently undergoing rewrites now that the challenge has ended.) But the whole thing was fun enough! :D