I was coming home tonight from Albertson's where I picked up some yogurt-covered pretzels because I was starving after accidentally taking a longer run than I was planning on when a possum materialized in front of my car and I slammed on the brakes. The car screeched to a stop a foot or two in front of the possum and my pretzels flew off the ( Read more... )

Recently I read in a newspaper article that liberals on average score about 9 points higher on IQ tests than conservatives. (I think it was 105 v. 96). Likewise, atheists also score higher. It's the type of statistic that makes you want to believe in the veracity of intelligence quotients.

I understand why Tiger Woods's infidelity is such big news, but is it really all that surprising? He was married to a Swedish supermodel, which is the fantasy of every thirteen-year old boy. We knew, even before the recent revelations, that he was clearly not motivated by pastoral ideals of the family.

Maybe the problem with Monday Night Football is the three announcer set-up. Maybe they should just stick with two. I mean Tony Kornheiser probably wasn't the best personality to be broadcast into the living rooms of middle American football viewers, but his replacement is infinitely worse. Nothing against Jon Gruden personally, although he does ( Read more... )

I've always felt like if I had a superpower, I'd want to be able to shoot lightning bolts out of my fingertips. But it always seems like this is something that evil characters do...like the Emperor. Maybe I'm evil.

I meant Steve Blake, not Steve Francis.

Californians deserve to have their services cut deeply. Idiots. If only I didn't have to stay one for another year or two.

Ron Artest's hair gives me a lot of pleasure.

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People often ask me how I maintain such a svelte physique without lifting weights. That's a good question.

First, instead of going to the gym, I bring the gym home. The Iron Gym pullup bar that is.

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During the course of this just-completed college basketball season, the University of Maryland Terrapins beat both of the participants in the national championship game. (They were Michigan State and the University of North Carolina.) According to me, that makes the Terps the best team in the country.