Fic: "Fade to Black", Buffy/Giles, chapter 9/10, STRONG ANGST! UNHAPPY ENDING!
Buffy groaned as she rolled in her own bed and practically wound up on the floor. She sat up quickly, and, as the pain slammed through her head light a freight train, instantly regretted it. Then a whole new need hit and she found she barely made it to the toilet in time to find herself in front of it, gasping and heaving with an arm against its porcelain seat as her stomach quelled again and deposited even more of last night’s fiasco into the bowl. Finally, her head cleared and she felt well enough to stand, so she emptied her bladder as well and used the glass by the sink to rinse the taste out of her mouth.
She tried to recall the details that had lead to her condition. The first realization was that she hadn’t the faintest idea how she’d gotten home the night before. Then the rest of the previous day hit her and she knew she had to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She was relieved to find that he recognized her immediately when she found him grooming a tall skewbald gelding in the stable he’d told her belonged to his family as well, though most of the other horses belonged to others who were simply boarding. It was a place of comfort to him, she knew. She’d been nearly positive that given the way she’d left him coming back in would not be a pleasant experience, but it seemed enough time had passed that he’d at least managed to regain awareness.
Buffy didn’t even have to say anything before Giles saw her. Quickly, he stepped out of the stall and put down his curry comb and brush. “Buffy…” he breathed, pulling himself up short, as if afraid to come any closer.
“Hey,” she said shyly. There was a pause, while both searched for the appropriate way to break the silence without scaring off the other. Buffy let herself breathe in the smell of leather, straw, and the distinct tang of manure that combined into something distinctly tranquil. “Um, not sure how long…less than a full day anyway, but I kinda forgot to keep track,” she admitted.
He quirked a slight smile and shook his head to indicate he didn’t particularly mind. Then they both started to speak at once, saying one another’s names in unison before breaking off in nervous laughter.
“Me first,” Buffy said.
“Alright.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m really sorry I wigged out on you the other day. It was just…I wasn’t expecting to have it tossed right in front of me like that, but still, I’m glad I know. Yesterday…you surprised me, but it was a good thing, Giles.” Buffy licked her lips afraid to move on as he waited patiently. “I mean, it shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as it was, I guess, because I always knew the potential was there. The idea of it just scared me, because I was afraid of what would happen…so I’ve been hiding from it a long time. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. There’s something I need to tell you too before it’s too late; something you need to…”
As much as he wanted to listen to what she had to say, he suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and felt the adrenaline run into his system. He cut her off and gripped her arm. “It’s here,” he hissed. “I can feel it.” As if to back him up there a terrified neigh broke the air and the horses began to shift uneasily.
Instantly, she understood. Giles had told her he saw it sometimes and that he could feel it watching more and more often. When it attacked, he blacked out, losing awareness for quite some time after…save for when she’d tried to pull him out, it had never attacked while Buffy was present. Neither knew what the effect would be; Buffy could be permanently injured in this world, even if Giles could not.
Buffy crouched into a defensive position immediately. “Weapon, Giles. Make me something.”
“What? Why?”
“You’ve never actually proven there’s nothing to strike at right? Maybe I can kill it.”
Understanding her intent, he nodded and concentrated. Soon a pair of broadswords appeared leaning against a bin of grain. Buffy grabbed one and tossed the other to her Watcher. Buffy found herself mentally cursing that it felt as clumsy in her hand as it did. Ever since the accident, she’d been leaving the slaying to others, neglecting even her training. She prayed that if it did come down to a fight, she could perform.
The horses screamed seconds before the doors of the barn blew open wide and the wind swirled around the enclosure assaulting all occupants. The electric lights flickered and dimmed as hooves clattered against the stall doors. A bay mare managed to succeed in besting her door, and Buffy was momentarily caught off guard as she threw herself against the door to avoid the terrified animal as it threw itself past her and out the door, swallowed by the thick darkness that had settled beyond.
A thick, greasy, red-eyed shadow slid through the door and along the sidewall up into the rafters before it began to drop down into the middle of the open space between the stalls. The Slayer stood shoulder to shoulder with her Watcher as it took form for the first time in their experience with it.
{{Wait for it,}} Buffy told herself. The instant the demon was fully present in its true form, she lunged forward without warning, sinking her sword in deep where its heart should be, relieved to feel solid flesh meet her steel. The demon staggered, and a momentary elation rushed through her as the thought occurred to her that she might actually have managed to kill the thing that had plagued her Watcher for so long.
Unfortunately, the overall effect wasn’t exactly what she had intended. The demon recovered quickly from the force of her blow, and began to laugh as it plucked the sword from its body and tossed it aside as a blast of wind caught the Slayer and slammed her against the wall hard. Giles made his own rush and was quickly flipped aside, as well.
Buffy gasped painfully, trying to suck the air back into her lungs until she coughed hard, bringing up blood. Forcing herself to her feet, she retrieved Giles’ sword from where it had landed and crouched again, which only made the demon laugh harder. Giles was at her elbow within minutes, but they stood helpless.
“You actually think you can defeat me with force? Here? I, who have only the form you give me?”
“You’re a bleeding parasite! A filthy, dirty leech. Why show yourself now?” Giles demanded angrily, frustrated at his inability to attack his invader.
“Why not?” it made a parody of shrugging. “And certainly, I’m a parasite…it’s not an insult really when you look at it realistically.”
“Cocksucker.”
“Better,” it said approvingly. “But rather inaccurate. You entertain me, human. I have to say, I’m rather glad I managed to transfer to you from that rather mind numbing Kourlos. Not exactly the brightest of creatures. Completely unsuitable for my means.”
“What do you want?” Buffy spat.
“Well, that’s rather obvious by now, I would think. An intelligent soul; an endless energy source shaped to my own needs. And don’t worry, I’m well on my way to that. I’ll have your precious Watcher soon enough at this point. At the moment, however, I thought I’d like to introduce myself now that I’m strong enough and the irony of the situation is sufficiently in place to provide some entertainment value.”
“Irony?”
“Well you did finally come to your senses about him, didn’t you, proud little Slayer? You were here to tell him, to finally let him in? Make yourself vulnerable?”
Giles clutched her arm to hold her back and tried to shield her, knowing the threat was greater to his Slayer than it would be to him…no matter how many times he’d died in his mind’s eye, he’d always managed to find himself alive and technically well in the next scene.
Buffy looked slightly stunned. “What do you care? Why would that-”
Laughter cut her off, and Giles increased the strength of his grip. “Oh, that is priceless!” the demon leered. “You mean you don’t know? Not even a clue? You didn’t ever wonder about the symbolism? What did you see every time you entered his mind-the very first thing.”
Buffy didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of answering, but couldn’t help the image from coming to mind. “The door to your apartment,” she whispered, turning slightly to look up at her Watcher while she placed a hand over his on her arm.
“And you walked through it easy enough every time, I’m sure.” The demon informed her, drawing her attention back to its from. “How about whenever you tried to leave?”
“My house.” As she spoke, the aforementioned door appeared behind her, and she felt Giles’ grasp briefly tighten on her as he braced against the nausea.
“But he could never pass the door, could he? At that point, I wasn’t even close to be being strong enough to stop you from taking him. You could have had him anytime-it’s only the last few hours I’ve actually grown strong enough to stop you on my own. All you had to do was let him in.”
“But…but how?” she asked morbidly fascinated, even as her heart pounded in her throat, begging for the demon to be wrong.
“Your heart. He knows his love for you. He has let you into his heart, even when you didn’t know it, even before I found my way into his mind, but you’ve not done the same for him. You do love him don’t you? But you were afraid to make yourself vulnerable. Unless and until you admitted it to yourself…”
Buffy turned to her Watcher, her eyes wide with horror, only to find the expression on his face at what the demon had revealed. He reached out to take her more fully into his embrace, to offer and take comfort. “Giles, I…”
But she never got to finish. The demon shrugged, having had his reward in the feelings he felt emanating off them. “He’s mine now. You can’t save him; that time has passed, so why bother now?” He made a waving motion and the wind rose and howled, tearing her away and tossing her backward, out through the door, and into the darkness beyond.
Chapter 10 - original ending
Chapter 10 - alternate ending
She tried to recall the details that had lead to her condition. The first realization was that she hadn’t the faintest idea how she’d gotten home the night before. Then the rest of the previous day hit her and she knew she had to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She was relieved to find that he recognized her immediately when she found him grooming a tall skewbald gelding in the stable he’d told her belonged to his family as well, though most of the other horses belonged to others who were simply boarding. It was a place of comfort to him, she knew. She’d been nearly positive that given the way she’d left him coming back in would not be a pleasant experience, but it seemed enough time had passed that he’d at least managed to regain awareness.
Buffy didn’t even have to say anything before Giles saw her. Quickly, he stepped out of the stall and put down his curry comb and brush. “Buffy…” he breathed, pulling himself up short, as if afraid to come any closer.
“Hey,” she said shyly. There was a pause, while both searched for the appropriate way to break the silence without scaring off the other. Buffy let herself breathe in the smell of leather, straw, and the distinct tang of manure that combined into something distinctly tranquil. “Um, not sure how long…less than a full day anyway, but I kinda forgot to keep track,” she admitted.
He quirked a slight smile and shook his head to indicate he didn’t particularly mind. Then they both started to speak at once, saying one another’s names in unison before breaking off in nervous laughter.
“Me first,” Buffy said.
“Alright.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m really sorry I wigged out on you the other day. It was just…I wasn’t expecting to have it tossed right in front of me like that, but still, I’m glad I know. Yesterday…you surprised me, but it was a good thing, Giles.” Buffy licked her lips afraid to move on as he waited patiently. “I mean, it shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as it was, I guess, because I always knew the potential was there. The idea of it just scared me, because I was afraid of what would happen…so I’ve been hiding from it a long time. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. There’s something I need to tell you too before it’s too late; something you need to…”
As much as he wanted to listen to what she had to say, he suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and felt the adrenaline run into his system. He cut her off and gripped her arm. “It’s here,” he hissed. “I can feel it.” As if to back him up there a terrified neigh broke the air and the horses began to shift uneasily.
Instantly, she understood. Giles had told her he saw it sometimes and that he could feel it watching more and more often. When it attacked, he blacked out, losing awareness for quite some time after…save for when she’d tried to pull him out, it had never attacked while Buffy was present. Neither knew what the effect would be; Buffy could be permanently injured in this world, even if Giles could not.
Buffy crouched into a defensive position immediately. “Weapon, Giles. Make me something.”
“What? Why?”
“You’ve never actually proven there’s nothing to strike at right? Maybe I can kill it.”
Understanding her intent, he nodded and concentrated. Soon a pair of broadswords appeared leaning against a bin of grain. Buffy grabbed one and tossed the other to her Watcher. Buffy found herself mentally cursing that it felt as clumsy in her hand as it did. Ever since the accident, she’d been leaving the slaying to others, neglecting even her training. She prayed that if it did come down to a fight, she could perform.
The horses screamed seconds before the doors of the barn blew open wide and the wind swirled around the enclosure assaulting all occupants. The electric lights flickered and dimmed as hooves clattered against the stall doors. A bay mare managed to succeed in besting her door, and Buffy was momentarily caught off guard as she threw herself against the door to avoid the terrified animal as it threw itself past her and out the door, swallowed by the thick darkness that had settled beyond.
A thick, greasy, red-eyed shadow slid through the door and along the sidewall up into the rafters before it began to drop down into the middle of the open space between the stalls. The Slayer stood shoulder to shoulder with her Watcher as it took form for the first time in their experience with it.
{{Wait for it,}} Buffy told herself. The instant the demon was fully present in its true form, she lunged forward without warning, sinking her sword in deep where its heart should be, relieved to feel solid flesh meet her steel. The demon staggered, and a momentary elation rushed through her as the thought occurred to her that she might actually have managed to kill the thing that had plagued her Watcher for so long.
Unfortunately, the overall effect wasn’t exactly what she had intended. The demon recovered quickly from the force of her blow, and began to laugh as it plucked the sword from its body and tossed it aside as a blast of wind caught the Slayer and slammed her against the wall hard. Giles made his own rush and was quickly flipped aside, as well.
Buffy gasped painfully, trying to suck the air back into her lungs until she coughed hard, bringing up blood. Forcing herself to her feet, she retrieved Giles’ sword from where it had landed and crouched again, which only made the demon laugh harder. Giles was at her elbow within minutes, but they stood helpless.
“You actually think you can defeat me with force? Here? I, who have only the form you give me?”
“You’re a bleeding parasite! A filthy, dirty leech. Why show yourself now?” Giles demanded angrily, frustrated at his inability to attack his invader.
“Why not?” it made a parody of shrugging. “And certainly, I’m a parasite…it’s not an insult really when you look at it realistically.”
“Cocksucker.”
“Better,” it said approvingly. “But rather inaccurate. You entertain me, human. I have to say, I’m rather glad I managed to transfer to you from that rather mind numbing Kourlos. Not exactly the brightest of creatures. Completely unsuitable for my means.”
“What do you want?” Buffy spat.
“Well, that’s rather obvious by now, I would think. An intelligent soul; an endless energy source shaped to my own needs. And don’t worry, I’m well on my way to that. I’ll have your precious Watcher soon enough at this point. At the moment, however, I thought I’d like to introduce myself now that I’m strong enough and the irony of the situation is sufficiently in place to provide some entertainment value.”
“Irony?”
“Well you did finally come to your senses about him, didn’t you, proud little Slayer? You were here to tell him, to finally let him in? Make yourself vulnerable?”
Giles clutched her arm to hold her back and tried to shield her, knowing the threat was greater to his Slayer than it would be to him…no matter how many times he’d died in his mind’s eye, he’d always managed to find himself alive and technically well in the next scene.
Buffy looked slightly stunned. “What do you care? Why would that-”
Laughter cut her off, and Giles increased the strength of his grip. “Oh, that is priceless!” the demon leered. “You mean you don’t know? Not even a clue? You didn’t ever wonder about the symbolism? What did you see every time you entered his mind-the very first thing.”
Buffy didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of answering, but couldn’t help the image from coming to mind. “The door to your apartment,” she whispered, turning slightly to look up at her Watcher while she placed a hand over his on her arm.
“And you walked through it easy enough every time, I’m sure.” The demon informed her, drawing her attention back to its from. “How about whenever you tried to leave?”
“My house.” As she spoke, the aforementioned door appeared behind her, and she felt Giles’ grasp briefly tighten on her as he braced against the nausea.
“But he could never pass the door, could he? At that point, I wasn’t even close to be being strong enough to stop you from taking him. You could have had him anytime-it’s only the last few hours I’ve actually grown strong enough to stop you on my own. All you had to do was let him in.”
“But…but how?” she asked morbidly fascinated, even as her heart pounded in her throat, begging for the demon to be wrong.
“Your heart. He knows his love for you. He has let you into his heart, even when you didn’t know it, even before I found my way into his mind, but you’ve not done the same for him. You do love him don’t you? But you were afraid to make yourself vulnerable. Unless and until you admitted it to yourself…”
Buffy turned to her Watcher, her eyes wide with horror, only to find the expression on his face at what the demon had revealed. He reached out to take her more fully into his embrace, to offer and take comfort. “Giles, I…”
But she never got to finish. The demon shrugged, having had his reward in the feelings he felt emanating off them. “He’s mine now. You can’t save him; that time has passed, so why bother now?” He made a waving motion and the wind rose and howled, tearing her away and tossing her backward, out through the door, and into the darkness beyond.
Chapter 10 - original ending
Chapter 10 - alternate ending