Break Into a Thousand Pieces, PG13, Gen, Angst

[pheebs1]

(I wrote a wee something!)

With thanks to deirdre_c and mel_b_angel for encouraging my original kernel of an idea.

With *huge* thanks and much love to dotfic for thrashing this out with me, and providing a kick ass beta

Comments

[miconic]

I'm reminded of Sam's time without Dean in 'Mystery Spot', and how lost he was, misguided, self-destructive. And that's just three months. Hopefully season 4 will bring a good explanation to Dean's fate. Thanks for sharing the fic.

[pheebs1]

Thank you so much for commenting.

I hope S4 does bring us a good explanation! :)

[muffaletta]

Oh,,,,wow. This is some powerful stuff! Even when he's supposed to be totally happy, Sam knows something's not right. And waking to find that Dean was all in his mind? *sniffles*

Beautiful,multilayered story. Thanks for posting!

[pheebs1]

Thank you so much. I'm glad the different layers came through for you and thank you for such a lovely comment.

[brigid_tanner]

That was wonderful. Liked how Dean kept showing up as Sam's behaviour became more reckless. So sad.

Someday, he'll struggle to remember Dean's voice, will have to take his time over it, search for specific phrases, like he has to with Dad's. I think loosing the specific memories of someone is the worst part of the "time heals" concept.

[pheebs1]

Losing the specific memories is something I have really noticed, with people I've lost, so I wanted to get that across - thank you so much for commenting.

[embroiderama]

Oh, holy crap, wow. This had me entranced and left me with tears in my eyes.

[pheebs1]

Thank you so much hon! I love your icon btw.

[iamstealthyone]

Very nicely done. This makes me ache so much for Sam, who’s missing such a large piece of himself, and is struggling mightily to cope with that.

Favorite lines:

There's a hollow in his stomach that Sam doesn't remember forming. He can't remember a time without it eating away at him.

Oh, Sam.

“I said,” Sam leans down so he's on the same level as the guy,

I love this image, of Sam looming and then bending down so he’s on the same level. There’s a nice feel of menace here.

“I think we were about to get stoned, officer,” Sam says. It's too polite. He can't even get arrested right.

*g*

He pictures Dean's face, and its edges are starting to blur. Sam can do it without the hollow in his chest becoming so large it threatens to take him in. Someday, he'll struggle to remember Dean's voice, will have to take his time over it, search for specific phrases, like he has to with Dad's.Yeah, this is one of the things that is hard to deal with after a loved one dies. At first, you remember everything, every detail, and then things start to

[pheebs1]

"this is one of the things that is hard to deal with after a loved one dies. At first, you remember everything, every detail, and then things start to fade, and it hurts when they do."

I am glad that hit home right - it's something I put in from personal experience, that I've seen happen with me.

Thank you for picking out lines you liked and for the lovely comment.

[iamstealthyone]

I am glad that hit home right - it's something I put in from personal experience, that I've seen happen with me.

I've had that concern and experience myself. It's a tough one.