Not Even Lucas Scott Would Buy One
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,227
Notes: Sequel to And Then the Dog Ate His Heart (Or How Lucas Scott Ruined Jared's Life)
It's not like Jared is opposed to getting a dog. Jared loves dogs. He grew up with two giant mutts, Sadie and Harley; his partners in crime, Jared's mom used to call them. But they just (finally) got Becca to sleep through the night and the last thing Jared wants is to have to get up to deal with a puppy when he's just (finally) caught up on enough sleep that he doesn't wander the office like a zombie.
"But it doesn't have to be a puppy," Jensen argues.
Jared blinks at his husband. Jensen is wearing sweatpants that are cut-off at the knee, his favorite fuzzy socks, and a bleach-stained t-shirt, all topped off with a spit rag. He looks exhausted yet strangely exuberant. Jared really doesn't know how he does it.
"Shouldn't we wait until Becca is older?" Jared takes the spit rag from Jensen's shoulder and tosses it in the general direction of the hamper. "I think I read something about that somewhere."
Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. "Where?"
"Uh…" Jared's eyes cast toward Jensen's nightstand, which is piled high with books on babies. None of which Jared has bothered to read despite Jensen's pleading. "Doctor… something?"
"You are infuriating," Jensen huffs.
Becca chooses that moment to start crying and Jared's never been so happy to change a diaper in his life.
**
"You know, I saw this adorable Beagle mix the other day. So cute with the floppy ears and the-"
Jared cuts Sandy off with a glare. "Did Jensen put you up to this?"
Sandy smiles serenely. "Is that any way to talk to your boss?"
"What did he promise you?" Jared demands.
"Not a thing." Sandy leans at an odd angle, obviously trying to hide something.
"He made you red velvet cupcakes, didn't he?" Jared sighs.
Shifting back, Sandy reveals a Tupperware container full of the things. "Anyway, it had floppy ears and big brown eyes. So adorable."
"Can I at least have a cupcake?" Jared asks, slumping into his seat.
"Hell no. These puppies are all mine," Sandy declares, moving the box further away from Jared. "Speaking of puppies…"
**
"You're a horrible human being," Jared tells Jensen as soon as he walks in the door.
Jensen grins unrepentantly. "Did she show you the pictures of the Shih Tzu?"
"You're a horrible human being," Jared repeats. "Horrible."
"Aww, baby, you say the sweetest things," Jensen coos.
Jared does not grin back. He totally does not.
**
If using his own boss against him hadn't been bad enough, Jensen graduates to turning Jared's technological devices against him. First it's the wallpaper on Jared's phone, which goes from a picture of Becca to a picture of a pile of wiggling puppies. Then it's the homepage on his laptop at both work and home, which are suddenly petfinder.com. On top of that, every single email address Jared has is flooded with messages from more animal rescue organizations than he ever knew existed.
"Puggle? Labradoodle? Cockapoo?" Jared wonders as he scrolls through his inbox. "Are these even real dogs?"
"Yes!" Sandy calls as she passes by his office. "And they're adorable!"
"That's it!" Jared declares.
He's totally going to give Jensen a piece of his mind when he gets home. Totally.
**
When Jared gets home though, Jensen is sacked out on the couch. Becca is cradled carefully against his chest, sleeping away with him. Given that Jensen is still wearing his glasses, though they've slipped down his nose a bit, and that he apparently never got around to getting dressed since he's wearing pajamas, Jared figures it's been a long day for his husband.
And even though there's no dinner ready, no husband to greet him with a kiss, Jared can't help but think that coming home to this is somehow better.
The only thing missing is a dog curled up at Jensen's feet.
"Oh shit," Jared mutters.
He's totally fallen for Jensen's diabolical plan.
**
As it turns out, adopting a rescue dog is almost as hard as trying to adopt a child. There are reams upon reams of paperwork to fill out. They need references that have seen them with animals. Affidavits swearing they will not harm the animal they take into their care and that if they do need to give up the animal for some reason, they will return it to the rescue agency. They even have to submit to a background check. And that's all before they're allowed to get near a single dog.
"Why can't we just go to the pound?" Jared asks as he stares at all the forms.
"Because I want one of these," Jensen replies, showing Jared a webpage full of dogs that look more like teddy bears.
"…why?"
"They're outgoing and friendly, but don't shed very much. It's like the perfect dog," Jensen declares while making an 'aww, so adorable' face at the page.
"And what breed is this?" Jared asks with a sigh.
"Cockapoo."
"No," Jared says firmly. "I am not getting some designer dog that sounds like a sexual fetish. Why can't we get a mutt or a German Shepherd or something?"
"Because Becca and I picked out this one," Jensen says, nodding to their daughter, who is sleeping in the bassinet next to the bed.
"Becca can't even talk!" Jared argues, incredulous.
"So?" Jensen challenges.
By the look on Jensen's face, Jared knows he's not going to win this one. It's the same look that convinced Jared to date Jensen, to marry him, to have a baby with him. It's this fierce, intelligent, yet vulnerable look that Jared can't seem to resist.
"So, who should we put as references?"
**
Once they finally (finally) make it through the screening process, it's time for the rescue agency to bring over the dogs. Jensen makes Jared take the entire day off for this, mostly so they can clean up the house. The domestic realm is Jensen's thing and most of the time, he won't even let Jared go near the cleaning supplies, but now he's got Jared on his hands and knees scrubbing behind the toilet. Like anyone ever looks behind there. If Jared's going to be on his knees, he'd prefer it was for more entertaining reasons like sucking Jensen's cock or getting fucked, but if this is what is going to make Jensen happy, Jared is going to comply. He's learned to pick his battles.
So when the two bubbly women from the agency do arrive, it's to an immaculate house, already puppy-proofed because of the baby, who is sitting like a little angel in her swing, all dressed up in the pink, frilly dress Jared's mom bought her for special occasions. They've brought with them five different dogs, but Jensen immediately gravitates to the runt of the litter, a little white ball of fluff with big, sad eyes.
"Hey, boy. What's your name?" Jensen coos as he crouches down to pet the puppy.
"We named him Icarus but you can feel free to change the name," one of the women answers with a smile.
"Hey, Icarus. Aren't you the sweetest thing in the whole wide world," Jensen continues in the same voice. The puppy barks and then licks his face.
Jared sighs and pulls out his wallet. "So, how much do I owe you?"
**
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,227
Notes: Sequel to And Then the Dog Ate His Heart (Or How Lucas Scott Ruined Jared's Life)
It's not like Jared is opposed to getting a dog. Jared loves dogs. He grew up with two giant mutts, Sadie and Harley; his partners in crime, Jared's mom used to call them. But they just (finally) got Becca to sleep through the night and the last thing Jared wants is to have to get up to deal with a puppy when he's just (finally) caught up on enough sleep that he doesn't wander the office like a zombie.
"But it doesn't have to be a puppy," Jensen argues.
Jared blinks at his husband. Jensen is wearing sweatpants that are cut-off at the knee, his favorite fuzzy socks, and a bleach-stained t-shirt, all topped off with a spit rag. He looks exhausted yet strangely exuberant. Jared really doesn't know how he does it.
"Shouldn't we wait until Becca is older?" Jared takes the spit rag from Jensen's shoulder and tosses it in the general direction of the hamper. "I think I read something about that somewhere."
Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. "Where?"
"Uh…" Jared's eyes cast toward Jensen's nightstand, which is piled high with books on babies. None of which Jared has bothered to read despite Jensen's pleading. "Doctor… something?"
"You are infuriating," Jensen huffs.
Becca chooses that moment to start crying and Jared's never been so happy to change a diaper in his life.
**
"You know, I saw this adorable Beagle mix the other day. So cute with the floppy ears and the-"
Jared cuts Sandy off with a glare. "Did Jensen put you up to this?"
Sandy smiles serenely. "Is that any way to talk to your boss?"
"What did he promise you?" Jared demands.
"Not a thing." Sandy leans at an odd angle, obviously trying to hide something.
"He made you red velvet cupcakes, didn't he?" Jared sighs.
Shifting back, Sandy reveals a Tupperware container full of the things. "Anyway, it had floppy ears and big brown eyes. So adorable."
"Can I at least have a cupcake?" Jared asks, slumping into his seat.
"Hell no. These puppies are all mine," Sandy declares, moving the box further away from Jared. "Speaking of puppies…"
**
"You're a horrible human being," Jared tells Jensen as soon as he walks in the door.
Jensen grins unrepentantly. "Did she show you the pictures of the Shih Tzu?"
"You're a horrible human being," Jared repeats. "Horrible."
"Aww, baby, you say the sweetest things," Jensen coos.
Jared does not grin back. He totally does not.
**
If using his own boss against him hadn't been bad enough, Jensen graduates to turning Jared's technological devices against him. First it's the wallpaper on Jared's phone, which goes from a picture of Becca to a picture of a pile of wiggling puppies. Then it's the homepage on his laptop at both work and home, which are suddenly petfinder.com. On top of that, every single email address Jared has is flooded with messages from more animal rescue organizations than he ever knew existed.
"Puggle? Labradoodle? Cockapoo?" Jared wonders as he scrolls through his inbox. "Are these even real dogs?"
"Yes!" Sandy calls as she passes by his office. "And they're adorable!"
"That's it!" Jared declares.
He's totally going to give Jensen a piece of his mind when he gets home. Totally.
**
When Jared gets home though, Jensen is sacked out on the couch. Becca is cradled carefully against his chest, sleeping away with him. Given that Jensen is still wearing his glasses, though they've slipped down his nose a bit, and that he apparently never got around to getting dressed since he's wearing pajamas, Jared figures it's been a long day for his husband.
And even though there's no dinner ready, no husband to greet him with a kiss, Jared can't help but think that coming home to this is somehow better.
The only thing missing is a dog curled up at Jensen's feet.
"Oh shit," Jared mutters.
He's totally fallen for Jensen's diabolical plan.
**
As it turns out, adopting a rescue dog is almost as hard as trying to adopt a child. There are reams upon reams of paperwork to fill out. They need references that have seen them with animals. Affidavits swearing they will not harm the animal they take into their care and that if they do need to give up the animal for some reason, they will return it to the rescue agency. They even have to submit to a background check. And that's all before they're allowed to get near a single dog.
"Why can't we just go to the pound?" Jared asks as he stares at all the forms.
"Because I want one of these," Jensen replies, showing Jared a webpage full of dogs that look more like teddy bears.
"…why?"
"They're outgoing and friendly, but don't shed very much. It's like the perfect dog," Jensen declares while making an 'aww, so adorable' face at the page.
"And what breed is this?" Jared asks with a sigh.
"Cockapoo."
"No," Jared says firmly. "I am not getting some designer dog that sounds like a sexual fetish. Why can't we get a mutt or a German Shepherd or something?"
"Because Becca and I picked out this one," Jensen says, nodding to their daughter, who is sleeping in the bassinet next to the bed.
"Becca can't even talk!" Jared argues, incredulous.
"So?" Jensen challenges.
By the look on Jensen's face, Jared knows he's not going to win this one. It's the same look that convinced Jared to date Jensen, to marry him, to have a baby with him. It's this fierce, intelligent, yet vulnerable look that Jared can't seem to resist.
"So, who should we put as references?"
**
Once they finally (finally) make it through the screening process, it's time for the rescue agency to bring over the dogs. Jensen makes Jared take the entire day off for this, mostly so they can clean up the house. The domestic realm is Jensen's thing and most of the time, he won't even let Jared go near the cleaning supplies, but now he's got Jared on his hands and knees scrubbing behind the toilet. Like anyone ever looks behind there. If Jared's going to be on his knees, he'd prefer it was for more entertaining reasons like sucking Jensen's cock or getting fucked, but if this is what is going to make Jensen happy, Jared is going to comply. He's learned to pick his battles.
So when the two bubbly women from the agency do arrive, it's to an immaculate house, already puppy-proofed because of the baby, who is sitting like a little angel in her swing, all dressed up in the pink, frilly dress Jared's mom bought her for special occasions. They've brought with them five different dogs, but Jensen immediately gravitates to the runt of the litter, a little white ball of fluff with big, sad eyes.
"Hey, boy. What's your name?" Jensen coos as he crouches down to pet the puppy.
"We named him Icarus but you can feel free to change the name," one of the women answers with a smile.
"Hey, Icarus. Aren't you the sweetest thing in the whole wide world," Jensen continues in the same voice. The puppy barks and then licks his face.
Jared sighs and pulls out his wallet. "So, how much do I owe you?"
**