omylongasspost.

[paperflowers]

I've been thinking. And writing letters. I've been getting a little frustrated with things in general. My mind has been switching on and off...almost like I keep blowing fuses, I start generating so much energy

Comments

[guitargrrl]

i still have to email you about the desert and stuff...

i just wanted to mention that poem was for and about you, but the part about being dirty and half the woman WASNT about you. it was comparing you to moons. i was hoping you wouldnt take it the wrong way!

i have to comment on more of this post tomorrow, but i wanted to say that.

madi. :)

[paperflowers]

I gotcha!
And you are brilliant muhdear, brilliant. :)

I'm thinkin we can all relate to that moon every now and then. Especially with poets like you who will point it out to us.

Thanks Madi, and I hope you had a t-riffic birthday!

[kaeruemi]

i hear you. i've got a lot of the same fears... simply because i've had a lot of the same experiences and let downs... but i'm determined to make this work, with all my soul... and it's words like these that reinforce my will to do so

[paperflowers]

emi, I don't give a shit where I go from here.

you've seen the hours, right?

"its what you can bear"

Its move away, or rot and die. And yah, dramatic as that may seem...its the truth. I have thunk and rethunk various suicide techniques/places/times more in the past month than I have in a really long time.

Its the people around me that keep me from it. As stupid as that sounds.

I'll move to Chatanooga. I'll move in with your dad. I'll move in at the homeless shelter, the YMCA, I don't even care. But I need to get up and go. I'm serious this time.

I want to end up out there. It will take work. But I know how to work. Fuck it. I'm going.

[amroyo]

wow. I will have to read that again to digest. Tomorrow. It is my mental health day afterall...and the healthiest thing for me right now is no NOT think.

But, I thank you for how honest and open you are.

[paperflowers]

no prob, sometimes it just needs to come out, huh?

happy mental health day, btw.

[pinkpromises]

Moving. I have so many options, and the only one I want is dependent on other people. I have complete faith in these people...but I'm just so used to plans falling through...to getting my hopes up that things will work, and then people backing out or changing their minds. You'd think that would teach me to rely only on myself. But good goddess, if we could make this work out, life would be grand. Grand, I tell you.

now you are stealing thoughts from MY head.
so we are even.
only i wish it were the even where i won the lottery and you did as well.....or something along those lines.
am i making sense?
i dont think i am, i need sleep.

[paperflowers]

Everyone's lives evolve and change....thats the hard part.

If I win the lottery, I'll give you some, okay? It would probably take PLAYING the lotto to win it tho...huh...

[pinkpromises]

yes, they do. i hate that, yet at the same time love it.

sounds like a deal, and if i win i will share some with you.
but yea, first we both need to actually play the lottery.

[cricket186]

so I had to check out your LJ because you born on my b-day.

I am moving as well...acoross nine states. Totally overwhelming. Slipping in and out of depression and I get panic attacks all the time too.

I dunno, you seem a lot like me...could it be the b-day's? who knows...but just so you know I added you. =)

[paperflowers]

Right on! I was gonna ask if I could add you too!

Hooray for geminis. :)

when are you moving?

[cricket186]

well I sort of already have moved...it's complicated.
Quickly summed up:

My Bf got a promotion in his company so he had to move to NY from California. His company payed for the whole move, but they would only do this once. I am still in school finishing my undergrad and we needed to get my stuff in the apt. too. So, yes all my stuff is there, besides some clothes and things I need here. I won't be physically in NY until around march. I guess I am halfway moved...everything except for the me part. =)

[paperflowers]

omg...I bet the time is dragging. aren't you excited to head to NY? Have you been there before?