ONTD Original: How to Explain "Flavor of Love" and "Rock of Love" to Your Mom
Happy Mother's Day! Unfortunately, the celebration of mothers can obscure a very crucial aspect of pop culture: the VH1 "Of Love" shows.
Many moms and grandmas are a bit more conservative than their progeny. Therefore, they are possibly not aware of these pop cultural touchstones. Fortunately, I have come up with some helpful tips for you to explain "Rock of Love" and "Flavor of Love" to your mom.
Who is Flavor Flav?
Flavor Flav is a delightful leprechaun bedecked in gold and diamonds. According to folklore, he was cursed to wear a giant clock around his neck by a Valkyrie named Brigitte Nielsen.
What is "Flavor of Love?"
VH1 rewarded Flavor Flav for his contribution to hype man-ism by granting him a harem of scantily clad famewhores. This experience was recorded on camera as a scientific experiment in whether it is possible to fall in love while surrounded by zebra-print pillows, maribou boas, and purple shag rugs.
Who is Tiffany Pollard?
Tiffany Pollard is a contestant on Flavor of Love who has been trapped on a bed in one room since 2007.
She is also world-renowned for her spit-reaction reflexes.
Who is Hottie?
Hottie is Luther VanDross in drag. He never died. Tell your mom this, because it will make her very happy that he is still around.
Are moms welcome in this sex house you mentioned?
Yes. Moms are welcome, and Flavor Flav's iconic mom even made an iconic appearance to iconically ignore them skanks in favor of a biscuit.
Sonny boy, should I watch this "Flavor of Love?" thing?
No, mom, because it features a lady pooping on the floor. I know how you like clean floors and dislike poop, so I do not recommend it to you as a mom.
Who is Bret Michaels?
Bret Michaels is a beautiful siren who arose from the mystical oceans of Pennsylvania. The gods were jealous of his golden blonde hair, so they cursed him to wear a cheap imitation of his gold locks topped with a bandana.
What is "Rock of Love?"
"Rock of Love" occurred when several drunk women with bad weaves were tricked by Bret's siren song into stumbling onto his bus. There, he trapped them and forced them to film a reality show for three long years.
Does Bret Michaels have extensions?
NO. If your mom thinks so, you tell her that she's a fucking moron.
My darling girl, should I watch this "Rock of Love" show?
Mom, you are pretty conservative, so you might enjoy it because many of the ladies are Trumpers. But... then again, since you are pretty conservative, it also might make your eyeballs explode.
Poll
Source: your mom jk mods, it me.