A New Dawn 6
Title: A New Dawn
Part: 6/?
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: This is Part 3 of a Trilogy. Part 1 is the story Hidden Behind Our Appearances and Part 2 is Too Long A Sacrifice. You need to read those first or this will make no sense.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that JB looks awfully thin and unwell on the STARZ posters for Torchwood? Have they made him diet for the US Torchwood, or is it an artist's impression? He could almost fit with how I see him in this story.
I wish they were showing the episodes on the same day in the US and UK. As it is, I'll be spending most of the next 10 weeks trying to avoid spoilers for the previous week's US episode. Thursday evening will be the only safe day for surfing the web for Torchwood!
Anyhow, in honour of the long awaited return of Torchwood, here's my next chapter. And Jack's in it ! (Briefly).
Previous chapter here: ohinyan.livejournal.com/21220.html
Chapter 6
In Manchester, life went on in a set pattern for Jack. He got up, got ready for work, went to Paddy's Goose pub to pick up clients, and spent the night servicing them. He lived for the days he could have his fix. There was nothing else in his life that he wanted. If heroin had been cheap, and easily available, he would have taken it every day. But he had to keep in control enough to earn it. So, he forced himself to keep to his schedule. Only once every three days. His work schedule was arranged around this. He had lapsed once or twice, when something had set off his traumatic memories, but had then fought his way back to the three day schedule. Each time he lapsed though, it became harder and harder to get back on schedule.
It was time for work. Jack checked his appearance in the mirror. Tight black trousers and short sleeved, heavy metal, T-shirt. The track marks on his arms were becoming prominent again. He'd have to do something about them soon. Grabbing his leather jacket, he headed off to meet Ray at the pub.
* * * *
Owen headed back to the Hub, after he had seen Ianto home. He knew that he couldn't keep the information about Jack's deal with the Master from Tosh and Gwen, he just needed to work out the best way to tell them. Tosh, in particular, was going to take the fact that Jack had sacrificed himself for them, very hard. And, ironically, she had far less to feel guilty about than the rest of them .He, Gwen, and Ianto, had all helped to make Jack's life hell on the Valiant. And, although Tosh had also believed that he was collaborating with the Master, she alone had refrained from taunting him. In fact, the only time that Owen could remember Tosh attacking Jack in any way, verbally or physically, was when she tried to prevent him from dragging Gwen out of their cell.
* * * * * *
In the boardroom at the Hub, Tosh and Gwen were sitting, stunned into immobility by what they had just heard. On the screen, Jack revived from his gunshot wound and was released from his chains. The Master ordered him to leave the room and get cleaned up. After Jack stumbled out, the DVD just showed the empty room.
Tosh was breathing heavily, and looked about to cry. As Ianto had done before her, she looked at the pile of DVDs still to be watched. “It can't be,” she said to Gwen. “The Master can't really have meant it, can he? No one could be that cruel.” The instant she said it she knew that, of course they could, and the Master would indeed be that cruel.
Gwen looked at her in disbelief. “Of course he could, how could you doubt that!”
As Tosh lost her battle with the tears, she mumbled “he said that he had a better use for us, but, as nothing ever happened, I forgot about it. He said it only a few days before Jack told us he was working for the Master. This must have been what he meant.” Breaking down completely then, she spoke through wracking sobs, looking at Gwen for help in understanding. “But why would Jack go along with it? He could have been safe! Why did he sacrifice himself for us?”
As the horror of the situation sank in, Gwen remembered how Jack had acted when she had visited him in his cell, after the Master was dead. It hit her like a hammer blow.
“Oh God, Tosh.”
“What?”
“He begged me,” stuttered Gwen, “after the Master was defeated, Jack begged me to get him off the Valiant before time was reset. He was desperate to forget. He even offered to jump off the side.”
Tosh was shocked that Gwen had never mentioned this before. “Why did you refuse?” she demanded angrily. “Didn't he explain why?”
“No, I never gave him the chance,” admitted Gwen hysterically. “I thought he deserved to go to trial. Oh God, I condemned him to keep the memories of what that butcher did to him! It could all have been erased, except that I wouldn't listen.” She jumped out of her chair, and, grabbing at the DVD box, began pulling them out randomly. “There's one for every day on the Valiant. And I could have made it not happen.”
By this time Tosh was in an equally hysterical state. “You idiot,” she shouted, “that was the one chance to fix this.”
On the screen the DVD kept on playing, showing only an empty room. .
* * * * *
It was well after midnight when Owen got back. Two hours had passed since he left. But, he had left the two girls in charge, so he knew that, barring a rift alert, they would still be there. What he did not expect, was that they would be in the boardroom crying hysterically, and in a state of shock. DVDs littered the table. It was obvious that he was too late, and they had discovered the truth about Jack on their own. Surprisingly, Gwen appeared to be in an even worse state than Tosh.
Tosh saw him as he walked back in. She leaped up, and ran towards him. “You knew about this! How could you not tell us!”
Owen held up his hands placatingly, “I was coming back to tell you about it. I couldn't earlier, since Ianto took it very hard when we saw it. I couldn't just let him run off on his own.”
“Well, where is he then?” demanded Tosh.
“I tracked him down to a pub, and took him back home to Ellie. He'll be OK with her.”
“Well, if this was what upset him this evening, what was wrong earlier? What aren't you telling us?”
Owen floundered. He really didn't want to tell them about the brutality of the rape that Jack had been subjected to, nor the reason that he had not fought against it.
He was saved from responding, by an alarm. It was a weevil sighting in Bute Park. Owen briefly considered calling Joanne and Mark in to deal with it, but quickly changed his mind. They had been dumping far too much of the Torchwood donkey work on them lately.
“We have to deal with this,” he announced. “And it'll be a good chance for everyone to step back a bit from the emotional precipice we're all on. But we need to focus. I don't want any injuries due to inattention.”
“Are you going to call Ianto in?” asked Tosh.
“No,” Owen replied, “he was drunk, and completely shattered by what we saw He'd be a liability and a danger to himself.”
“And we aren't?” asked Tosh.
“Not to the same extent,” Owen replied.
Pulling themselves together, Gwen and Tosh set off to collect their equipment, and they headed off to the SUV.
* * * * *
When Ianto had run out of tears, he stood in his bathroom, and gazed at his arm. It was a mess. In a dreamlike state, probably due to shock, he washed off the blood and retrieved some bandages from the cabinet. Working for Torchwood meant that you kept such things handy. Bandaging his arm, as best he could, he went into the bedroom and tried to sleep. It did not come easily. He tossed and turned for hours, remembering what the Master had said, hoping against hope that, even so, things would be better for Jack than before. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
Jack was chained in his usual place, between the pillars. He was naked but unharmed. Ianto walked up to him brandishing a wicked knife, and began to slice across Jack's chest and arms. Jack looked at him, with hurt and disappointment in his eyes, and whispered “I love you.” This just made Ianto slice more fiercely, and, as he watched the blood flow, he hissed, “I hope he hurts you.”
“I know you love me, Ianto,” Jack gasped through his pain. In response to that, Ianto stabbed him through the heart and twisted the knife, while declaring, “I don't love you!” He woke suddenly, drenched in sweat, and shaking like a leaf.
Practically falling out of bed, Ianto stumbled his way to the bathroom, and turned on the shower. As the water cascaded over his body, his violent trembling slowed. He leaned against the wall of the shower, as he remembered the dream. Everything he said to Jack in the dream, he had said in reality. And he might as well have knifed Jack in reality, his words probably hurt as much.
* * * *
By morning, Ianto was sober, but dog tired. He had been unable to sleep for fear of more nightmares. His thoughts and emotions were in turmoil. The magnitude of Jack's sacrifice was monumental, but Ianto knew that he and the others were not worthy of it. He looked at his arm, swathed in bandages. Even that proved just how unworthy he was. Jack had suffered to prevent harm to him, and this was how he repaid him.
His brooding was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Quickly pulling on a dressing gown, he went to the door and answered it. It was Ellie. He was very glad that the dressing gown completely covered all evidence of his injured arm.
“Can I come in?” she asked tentatively.
Ianto opened the door wide. “Of course,” he said apologetically, “you do live here.”
“Do I?” queried Ellie. “Last night you made it very clear that this is your flat.”
“I'm so sorry, Ellie, I never meant to react like that. I was drunk and ...”
Ellie interrupted before he could finish. “I thought you were going to hit me Ianto.”
Ianto was taken aback. It had never crossed his mind to hit her, he would never do such a thing. “Ellie, no, I would never do that,” he said with horror, “You must believe me!”.
Ellie looked unconvinced. “I came for some of my things. I'm going to move back into my flat. I think you need some space, while you deal with whatever it is that has you so upset.”
Ianto was about to argue with her, when he realised that she was right. He was going to be a nightmare to live with while the team searched for Jack, and tried to get him exonerated. Ellie was not a part of that world. In fact, he had deliberately kept her in the dark about what he actually did. Ianto had started dating Ellie in an effort to put his past with Jack behind him. He wanted to have a normal life, outside Torchwood. When she had asked him out, he had accepted, and things had worked out well. Although he did not have the passion, or depth of feeling for her, that he once had for Jack, they were happy. Or at least they had been until last night.
“You're probably right,” he admitted sadly. “But I'll come and see you when things are on a more even keel.”
“If you need to talk to anyone,” she offered, “I'll always be there for you. You know that.”
Ianto nodded, although he knew that he would never talk to her about this.
Moving quickly around the flat, Ellie gathered up the things she needed and, stopping to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, walked out of the door.
Next chapter here: ohinyan.livejournal.com/21969.html
Part: 6/?
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: This is Part 3 of a Trilogy. Part 1 is the story Hidden Behind Our Appearances and Part 2 is Too Long A Sacrifice. You need to read those first or this will make no sense.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that JB looks awfully thin and unwell on the STARZ posters for Torchwood? Have they made him diet for the US Torchwood, or is it an artist's impression? He could almost fit with how I see him in this story.
I wish they were showing the episodes on the same day in the US and UK. As it is, I'll be spending most of the next 10 weeks trying to avoid spoilers for the previous week's US episode. Thursday evening will be the only safe day for surfing the web for Torchwood!
Anyhow, in honour of the long awaited return of Torchwood, here's my next chapter. And Jack's in it ! (Briefly).
Previous chapter here: ohinyan.livejournal.com/21220.html
Chapter 6
In Manchester, life went on in a set pattern for Jack. He got up, got ready for work, went to Paddy's Goose pub to pick up clients, and spent the night servicing them. He lived for the days he could have his fix. There was nothing else in his life that he wanted. If heroin had been cheap, and easily available, he would have taken it every day. But he had to keep in control enough to earn it. So, he forced himself to keep to his schedule. Only once every three days. His work schedule was arranged around this. He had lapsed once or twice, when something had set off his traumatic memories, but had then fought his way back to the three day schedule. Each time he lapsed though, it became harder and harder to get back on schedule.
It was time for work. Jack checked his appearance in the mirror. Tight black trousers and short sleeved, heavy metal, T-shirt. The track marks on his arms were becoming prominent again. He'd have to do something about them soon. Grabbing his leather jacket, he headed off to meet Ray at the pub.
* * * *
Owen headed back to the Hub, after he had seen Ianto home. He knew that he couldn't keep the information about Jack's deal with the Master from Tosh and Gwen, he just needed to work out the best way to tell them. Tosh, in particular, was going to take the fact that Jack had sacrificed himself for them, very hard. And, ironically, she had far less to feel guilty about than the rest of them .He, Gwen, and Ianto, had all helped to make Jack's life hell on the Valiant. And, although Tosh had also believed that he was collaborating with the Master, she alone had refrained from taunting him. In fact, the only time that Owen could remember Tosh attacking Jack in any way, verbally or physically, was when she tried to prevent him from dragging Gwen out of their cell.
* * * * * *
In the boardroom at the Hub, Tosh and Gwen were sitting, stunned into immobility by what they had just heard. On the screen, Jack revived from his gunshot wound and was released from his chains. The Master ordered him to leave the room and get cleaned up. After Jack stumbled out, the DVD just showed the empty room.
Tosh was breathing heavily, and looked about to cry. As Ianto had done before her, she looked at the pile of DVDs still to be watched. “It can't be,” she said to Gwen. “The Master can't really have meant it, can he? No one could be that cruel.” The instant she said it she knew that, of course they could, and the Master would indeed be that cruel.
Gwen looked at her in disbelief. “Of course he could, how could you doubt that!”
As Tosh lost her battle with the tears, she mumbled “he said that he had a better use for us, but, as nothing ever happened, I forgot about it. He said it only a few days before Jack told us he was working for the Master. This must have been what he meant.” Breaking down completely then, she spoke through wracking sobs, looking at Gwen for help in understanding. “But why would Jack go along with it? He could have been safe! Why did he sacrifice himself for us?”
As the horror of the situation sank in, Gwen remembered how Jack had acted when she had visited him in his cell, after the Master was dead. It hit her like a hammer blow.
“Oh God, Tosh.”
“What?”
“He begged me,” stuttered Gwen, “after the Master was defeated, Jack begged me to get him off the Valiant before time was reset. He was desperate to forget. He even offered to jump off the side.”
Tosh was shocked that Gwen had never mentioned this before. “Why did you refuse?” she demanded angrily. “Didn't he explain why?”
“No, I never gave him the chance,” admitted Gwen hysterically. “I thought he deserved to go to trial. Oh God, I condemned him to keep the memories of what that butcher did to him! It could all have been erased, except that I wouldn't listen.” She jumped out of her chair, and, grabbing at the DVD box, began pulling them out randomly. “There's one for every day on the Valiant. And I could have made it not happen.”
By this time Tosh was in an equally hysterical state. “You idiot,” she shouted, “that was the one chance to fix this.”
On the screen the DVD kept on playing, showing only an empty room. .
* * * * *
It was well after midnight when Owen got back. Two hours had passed since he left. But, he had left the two girls in charge, so he knew that, barring a rift alert, they would still be there. What he did not expect, was that they would be in the boardroom crying hysterically, and in a state of shock. DVDs littered the table. It was obvious that he was too late, and they had discovered the truth about Jack on their own. Surprisingly, Gwen appeared to be in an even worse state than Tosh.
Tosh saw him as he walked back in. She leaped up, and ran towards him. “You knew about this! How could you not tell us!”
Owen held up his hands placatingly, “I was coming back to tell you about it. I couldn't earlier, since Ianto took it very hard when we saw it. I couldn't just let him run off on his own.”
“Well, where is he then?” demanded Tosh.
“I tracked him down to a pub, and took him back home to Ellie. He'll be OK with her.”
“Well, if this was what upset him this evening, what was wrong earlier? What aren't you telling us?”
Owen floundered. He really didn't want to tell them about the brutality of the rape that Jack had been subjected to, nor the reason that he had not fought against it.
He was saved from responding, by an alarm. It was a weevil sighting in Bute Park. Owen briefly considered calling Joanne and Mark in to deal with it, but quickly changed his mind. They had been dumping far too much of the Torchwood donkey work on them lately.
“We have to deal with this,” he announced. “And it'll be a good chance for everyone to step back a bit from the emotional precipice we're all on. But we need to focus. I don't want any injuries due to inattention.”
“Are you going to call Ianto in?” asked Tosh.
“No,” Owen replied, “he was drunk, and completely shattered by what we saw He'd be a liability and a danger to himself.”
“And we aren't?” asked Tosh.
“Not to the same extent,” Owen replied.
Pulling themselves together, Gwen and Tosh set off to collect their equipment, and they headed off to the SUV.
* * * * *
When Ianto had run out of tears, he stood in his bathroom, and gazed at his arm. It was a mess. In a dreamlike state, probably due to shock, he washed off the blood and retrieved some bandages from the cabinet. Working for Torchwood meant that you kept such things handy. Bandaging his arm, as best he could, he went into the bedroom and tried to sleep. It did not come easily. He tossed and turned for hours, remembering what the Master had said, hoping against hope that, even so, things would be better for Jack than before. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
Jack was chained in his usual place, between the pillars. He was naked but unharmed. Ianto walked up to him brandishing a wicked knife, and began to slice across Jack's chest and arms. Jack looked at him, with hurt and disappointment in his eyes, and whispered “I love you.” This just made Ianto slice more fiercely, and, as he watched the blood flow, he hissed, “I hope he hurts you.”
“I know you love me, Ianto,” Jack gasped through his pain. In response to that, Ianto stabbed him through the heart and twisted the knife, while declaring, “I don't love you!” He woke suddenly, drenched in sweat, and shaking like a leaf.
Practically falling out of bed, Ianto stumbled his way to the bathroom, and turned on the shower. As the water cascaded over his body, his violent trembling slowed. He leaned against the wall of the shower, as he remembered the dream. Everything he said to Jack in the dream, he had said in reality. And he might as well have knifed Jack in reality, his words probably hurt as much.
* * * *
By morning, Ianto was sober, but dog tired. He had been unable to sleep for fear of more nightmares. His thoughts and emotions were in turmoil. The magnitude of Jack's sacrifice was monumental, but Ianto knew that he and the others were not worthy of it. He looked at his arm, swathed in bandages. Even that proved just how unworthy he was. Jack had suffered to prevent harm to him, and this was how he repaid him.
His brooding was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Quickly pulling on a dressing gown, he went to the door and answered it. It was Ellie. He was very glad that the dressing gown completely covered all evidence of his injured arm.
“Can I come in?” she asked tentatively.
Ianto opened the door wide. “Of course,” he said apologetically, “you do live here.”
“Do I?” queried Ellie. “Last night you made it very clear that this is your flat.”
“I'm so sorry, Ellie, I never meant to react like that. I was drunk and ...”
Ellie interrupted before he could finish. “I thought you were going to hit me Ianto.”
Ianto was taken aback. It had never crossed his mind to hit her, he would never do such a thing. “Ellie, no, I would never do that,” he said with horror, “You must believe me!”.
Ellie looked unconvinced. “I came for some of my things. I'm going to move back into my flat. I think you need some space, while you deal with whatever it is that has you so upset.”
Ianto was about to argue with her, when he realised that she was right. He was going to be a nightmare to live with while the team searched for Jack, and tried to get him exonerated. Ellie was not a part of that world. In fact, he had deliberately kept her in the dark about what he actually did. Ianto had started dating Ellie in an effort to put his past with Jack behind him. He wanted to have a normal life, outside Torchwood. When she had asked him out, he had accepted, and things had worked out well. Although he did not have the passion, or depth of feeling for her, that he once had for Jack, they were happy. Or at least they had been until last night.
“You're probably right,” he admitted sadly. “But I'll come and see you when things are on a more even keel.”
“If you need to talk to anyone,” she offered, “I'll always be there for you. You know that.”
Ianto nodded, although he knew that he would never talk to her about this.
Moving quickly around the flat, Ellie gathered up the things she needed and, stopping to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, walked out of the door.
Next chapter here: ohinyan.livejournal.com/21969.html