Comments | off_the_tracks: Animorphs: 2010

off_the_tracks

Animorphs: 2010 - Chapter 6

Oct 15, 2010 17:34

( Animorphs: 2010 - Chapter 6 )

2010, jake, animorphs

Comments 5

acts_of_tekla October 16 2010, 04:45:17 UTC

Overall, I liked the chapter, but I have just a couple of critiques.

First, because I am a grammar freak:

In section 1, paragraph 23: Cassie could too
In section 2, paragraph 26: I think you mean that Jake wasn't as quiet as he could have been ( ... )

cimplybe October 16 2010, 04:51:51 UTC

You make very good points. I'd forgotten all that about Marco, so thanks for reminding me. I'll revise it and work that in tomorrow. Much too late tonight, though. -_-

off_the_tracks October 16 2010, 17:12:19 UTC

M'kay, I adjusted it and fixed the typos. Hope that's clearer now.

roachpatrol October 16 2010, 06:10:21 UTC

Yay, clever plans! Yay treeclimbing and using Tobias as bait! YAY AXE!

aerodactylus October 21 2010, 22:26:20 UTC

I kind of don't want Tobias to get stuck as a nothlit in this canon, because your version of him is JUST SO COOL. Also, I wouldn't be able to picture him as Alan Tudyk anymore, and that would be sad.

I also really loved the carrying out the plan sequence. It was a complicated scene, what you were trying to describe, and you handled it perfectly. Jake's soldier senses taking over also seemed very real (I say seemed only because I'm not a soldier), and added a lot to it.

AND AX! ASDFGHJKL!