serious business

[nova33]

So I have been reading some feminist blogs lately, and I'm kind of...unimpressed. Unimpressed and at times defensive and even offended. I count myself as a feminist, okay? There are a lot of things on these blogs that I totally, 100% agree with. But I disagree just as often, if not more, and part of the reason is because I often feel like these

Comments

[sinuous_curve]

The only point I would disagree with you on is the point about motivation from the person who created something. I think intent is important, but I also think that a lot of times intent is used as a 'get out of jail free' card for people who have said or done sexist/racist/homophobic things. At a certain point, saying, "But I didn't mean to be offensive!" doesn't carry more weight or importance than people saying, "Nonetheless, you have said something offensive and we're calling you on it."

But yeah, I feel you on a lot of this. I've taken some blogs off my reader feed because I just wasn't feeling the author's writing style/vibe/etc.

[nova33]

Oh no, I agree with you on that. For sure, "I don't mean any offense, but..." is not a valid precursor for an offensive statement. I guess it's more of the grey area I'm talking about, and I guess it's hard for me to explain that further without going into ultra-specific examples. But yes, there is no get-out-of-jail-free card for people who have said or done something offensive; at that point, I think it's the way they answer their criticisms that becomes important.

I guess it's just hard when there are a lot of opinionated people discussing touchy subjects.

[nova33]

Militant is definitely the right word there. It's not even that it rubs people the wrong way so much as it is that people get entirely the wrong idea of what feminism is really about. I can't even tell you the number of times I've had to say, "No, it doesn't mean you hate men..."

Also a good word: icky. There are things I want to believe in, but something about the tone makes me want to write angry LJ entries back away as quickly as possible.

[opalphoenix]

I often feel like these women are looking for things to be upset about.

As though yes, others are allowed to have differing opinions, but they're obviously wrong. And that, if you do disagree with their enlightened insights, it's because you just don't get it, you just don't understand, you yourself have not yet been enlightened.

Even more, I dislike it when the entire basis for an argument rests on their assumptions about someone's motives, because I don't think that's grounds for any argument, really. Those three statements sum up a ton of what I feel not only about hardcore feminists, but hardcore most things, really. I have an extremely hard time inserting myself into even groups that I identify strongly in one way or another with, because SO MANY people get too into how THEY have been wronged, therefore everyone is clearly ALWAYS looking to wrong them, and they must BAND TOGETHER AND EXCLUDE FOR PROTECTION. I feel like those sorts of things get us nowhere. And for the last point, while I think it's an interesting thing to

[nova33]

Yes, exactly - it's not just hardcore feminists, it's anyone with a very strong, almost radical viewpoint on a subject. Not that I am against them having those viewpoints! Just that I wish the way they were expressed had a bit more of the openness they were ranting about needing, I guess. If you want people to open their eyes, then you need to do the same

[mrsquizzical]

two things come to mind

[nova33]

I'm sorry I didn't respond to this!

I see what you mean. As soon as you're tuned into something, you're constantly tuned into it, there's nothing you can do.

And yes, I also see what you mean about people working for something, and how the miltancy comes out of that, even if it occasionally has negative effects.

[mrsquizzical]

♥

[nova33]

♥ ♥ ♥

[blackhotmetal]

I agree with pretty much everything you just said, but particularly this:

I often feel like these women are looking for things to be upset about

YES. It's one thing to take a feminist standpoint on major issues that are obviously misogynistic but it's another to go out of your way to look for things to get upset about, especially if those things are relatively trivial. That part of it has always bothered me.

[nova33]

That's all I mean, really. Because there are so many things that we have good reason to be upset about, I'm always surprised when someone picks at something that seems, as you put it, relatively trivial.