For Amand-r, on the occasion of her birthday
OK, technically two days after the occasion of Amand-r's birthday, but I've never been very good with punctuality. I offer a gift of entirely random fic. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me.
Title: The Joys of Summer in Cardiff
Rated: PG
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Word count: 700
Summer in South Wales is a hit and miss affair. There are days, even weeks, when the extended hours of daylight and the mild temperatures are the only clues to the season. Even the odd days when the sun breaks through the grey canopy of cloud and the men take off their shirts and the girls pull out their singlet tops, the horizon disappears in a hazy blur of humidity.
Though people complain often of the unseasonable wet, it had never bothered Jack Harkness much. After a childhood in the desert sands of Boeshane, the endless supply of water was reassuring. He simply accepted that, between the weather and the irregular hours required by Torchwood, he was unlikely to see much of the sun.
And then he discovered one of the great joys of summer - sweetcorn.
He wasn’t that fond of it himself. It was such a fuss to strip the actual food part from the inedible cob, and at the end of it you’d managed to eat one vegetable. And not even a proper vegetable at that. Give him a pizza or a sandwich or a burger any day.
The day Ianto brought a cob of corn in for his lunch was a revelation.
He’d headed to the kitchen to mock Ianto’s corn-eating ways, but stopped dead just short of the kitchen entrance when he saw Ianto sitting at the small table. He had a napkin tucked into his collar and was intently focussed on the corn cob in front of him, holding the base firmly, and gently stripping the leafy covering from the golden centre.
Jack was startled back to awareness when Ianto muttered, “Bugger,” and stuck the tips of two fingers into his mouth, sucking gently. Jack realised he was standing where anyone could stumble across him getting a hard-on from watching his butler eat lunch. Thank god for CCTV.
Back in his office it was the work of seconds to bring up the feed from the kitchen and zoom it in. The cob sat naked on Ianto’s plate as he smeared it with a frankly unhealthy quantity of butter, the paler yellow fading into a bright sheen on the uneven flesh. Salt and pepper were applied and then Ianto delicately picked the cob off the plate. The sight of the even white teeth scraping unhesitatingly along the length of the cob left Jack adjusting himself in his trousers, the inseam suddenly uncomfortably snug. Ianto’s tongue sliding out to catch a dribble of the salty butter spilling down his chin had him all but trying to climb through the monitor and into this little wet dream of a scenario.
The process of applying butter, salt and pepper to a new strip of corn was repeated some four times before Ianto was nearly done with the corn. CCTV could only do so much. Jack needed to see it a little closer. Just one look, that was all, Ianto wasn’t doing anything private, after all, just eating his lunch in the kitchen at his workplace. Jack was his boss. He had every right to walk into the kitchen, raging erection or not.
It was everything his fevered imagination had supplied. The rich scent of melted butter hung in the air, mixing with the smell of sweetcorn and Ianto’s aftershave, which made him smell edible at the worst of times. The napkin had protected the pristine dignity of Ianto’s always immaculate suit, but the liquid shine of butter smeared all over his chin was doing wonderful, terrible things to Jack’s self-control.
Oblivious to the picture he’d presented, Ianto quickly scrubbed his face with the napkin before sweeping the debris from his lunch into the bin. “Sorry, sir. Just grabbing a quick bite. Coffee?”
Jack’s vague grunt was taken as assent, though he could only hope his quiet moan went unheard when Ianto bent to pull a clean mug from the dishwasher. There were two things he was certain of. One, he needed to pay closer attention to his butler. And two, they were going to be eating a lot of corn in the next few weeks.
Title: The Joys of Summer in Cardiff
Rated: PG
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Word count: 700
Summer in South Wales is a hit and miss affair. There are days, even weeks, when the extended hours of daylight and the mild temperatures are the only clues to the season. Even the odd days when the sun breaks through the grey canopy of cloud and the men take off their shirts and the girls pull out their singlet tops, the horizon disappears in a hazy blur of humidity.
Though people complain often of the unseasonable wet, it had never bothered Jack Harkness much. After a childhood in the desert sands of Boeshane, the endless supply of water was reassuring. He simply accepted that, between the weather and the irregular hours required by Torchwood, he was unlikely to see much of the sun.
And then he discovered one of the great joys of summer - sweetcorn.
He wasn’t that fond of it himself. It was such a fuss to strip the actual food part from the inedible cob, and at the end of it you’d managed to eat one vegetable. And not even a proper vegetable at that. Give him a pizza or a sandwich or a burger any day.
The day Ianto brought a cob of corn in for his lunch was a revelation.
He’d headed to the kitchen to mock Ianto’s corn-eating ways, but stopped dead just short of the kitchen entrance when he saw Ianto sitting at the small table. He had a napkin tucked into his collar and was intently focussed on the corn cob in front of him, holding the base firmly, and gently stripping the leafy covering from the golden centre.
Jack was startled back to awareness when Ianto muttered, “Bugger,” and stuck the tips of two fingers into his mouth, sucking gently. Jack realised he was standing where anyone could stumble across him getting a hard-on from watching his butler eat lunch. Thank god for CCTV.
Back in his office it was the work of seconds to bring up the feed from the kitchen and zoom it in. The cob sat naked on Ianto’s plate as he smeared it with a frankly unhealthy quantity of butter, the paler yellow fading into a bright sheen on the uneven flesh. Salt and pepper were applied and then Ianto delicately picked the cob off the plate. The sight of the even white teeth scraping unhesitatingly along the length of the cob left Jack adjusting himself in his trousers, the inseam suddenly uncomfortably snug. Ianto’s tongue sliding out to catch a dribble of the salty butter spilling down his chin had him all but trying to climb through the monitor and into this little wet dream of a scenario.
The process of applying butter, salt and pepper to a new strip of corn was repeated some four times before Ianto was nearly done with the corn. CCTV could only do so much. Jack needed to see it a little closer. Just one look, that was all, Ianto wasn’t doing anything private, after all, just eating his lunch in the kitchen at his workplace. Jack was his boss. He had every right to walk into the kitchen, raging erection or not.
It was everything his fevered imagination had supplied. The rich scent of melted butter hung in the air, mixing with the smell of sweetcorn and Ianto’s aftershave, which made him smell edible at the worst of times. The napkin had protected the pristine dignity of Ianto’s always immaculate suit, but the liquid shine of butter smeared all over his chin was doing wonderful, terrible things to Jack’s self-control.
Oblivious to the picture he’d presented, Ianto quickly scrubbed his face with the napkin before sweeping the debris from his lunch into the bin. “Sorry, sir. Just grabbing a quick bite. Coffee?”
Jack’s vague grunt was taken as assent, though he could only hope his quiet moan went unheard when Ianto bent to pull a clean mug from the dishwasher. There were two things he was certain of. One, he needed to pay closer attention to his butler. And two, they were going to be eating a lot of corn in the next few weeks.