Mermaid Sex

Feb 20, 2010 23:08

 So, it's pretty clear that babysitting is a vastly traumatizing experience.  I've started to... enjoy playing Barbies.  But I have the one I like, who is called Devin, and a plumber, with mad awesome cowboy boots and socks.  And that was way too much information.

Note to self: six year olds should not be allowed to watch Lady Gaga videos.

But today ( Read more... )

recommendations, fanfiction

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Comments 12

thudonkey February 21 2010, 04:52:44 UTC
scientifically plausible pr0n. y'know, I'm going to hazard a guess that for many people plausibility is not a key requirement.

However, I'm like you, and when people get all het up about the mermaid idea, my first thought is always "how the. . ."

Now, if you really wanna write it without creating Merm's Anatomy, you could ask yourself the question how hot can your other character make the mermaid without going below the, um, belt.



nike_ravus February 22 2010, 17:42:56 UTC
This may actually be a good solution, because it's pretty awesome to consider that sailors and such would jump off of their ships and drown trying to pursue something that is actually physically impossible. (I'm beginning to think I may be slightly sadistic.)

Of course, they may have very sensitive tails, which would put a new spin on all the twirly mermaid tail-dancing in various disney musical numbers. :D


anonymous February 21 2010, 06:10:59 UTC
No LJ, so I can't leave a signed comment (thank God!), but, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, even anonymously, I've always thought that mermaids would, um... function... kind of like dolphins. I mean, they're both fish-like mammals, and even the, um, /anatomy/ from the waist down could be kind of the same, right? Oh God, I may never post again.... *Flees*


nike_ravus February 22 2010, 17:48:40 UTC
Okay, googling Dolphin Sex is a *BAD* idea. Now that I know way too much about zoophilia and dolphin prehensile labia... omg, It's like a horror film in my head... I desperately want lovely asexual fishies.

It is really scarily plausible though. I may need to write a gritty clockwork orange style mer-dolphin short story. Maybe noir, with underwater gatling guns.



piedra_lumbre February 26 2010, 18:05:22 UTC
If anybody ever discovers that I know anything about this I'm blaming you. :)

On the plus side(?), I now have a decent(?) idea about how mermaid sex probably would work. And I would totally read that story if you wrote it, would it somehow involve Emily and Emma as the Gatling gun toting mer-dolphins? Hmm, {goes off to not think about mermaid/dolphin sex.}


I love that one of the tags is "recommendations" flowerhammer February 21 2010, 13:04:56 UTC
Kids can make you do/watch things... Just one word "Winx". I'm a fan now, I love Icy.

About mermaids...
I agree with "Anonymous" here, I actually first thought about sharks.
BUT dolphins sometimes have sex for fun, not the sharks. And let me tell you one thing: dolphins are wicked, look what I just read on Wikipedia: "Sexual encounters may be violent, with male dolphins sometimes showing aggressive behavior towards both females and other males. Occasionally, dolphins behave sexually towards other animals, including humans."

It's disturbing to know that they only have one hole for the anus AND the vagina, but at least they don't have any conversations like these:
- Only gay dolphins do it.
- Oh come on, don't tell me that Flipper never tried to go there!
- ... I didn't want to, but he insisted and... well. It only happened once!

This mono-hole makes me wonder : how do mermaids poop? I know the most famous one is a princess, so she doesn't, but still.


Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations" nike_ravus February 22 2010, 17:53:59 UTC
What? It wasn't an... anti-recommendation, really. I had no clue what to tag this.

I thought they just had one slit which began with the clitoris, then vagina with the anus at the other end, not a cloaca like birds. Is it really odd that I know about this from reading pr0n where Professor X bangs his one canon girlfriend who is an alien who lays eggs?

Cripes, I think dolphins may be slightly too intense for disney mermaids. How about salmon instead? Everyone likes salmon. :)


Re: I love that one of the tags is "recommendations" flowerhammer March 2 2010, 15:08:25 UTC
LoL okay, if it is a recommandation, I'll make my 6 year old watch it. He won't be thrilled when he realizes it's a Barbie movie, but hey, he watches "Winx". He says he likes it because "he makes fun of them", but I know better. I mean, I use him as an excuse to watch movies for kids.

Seriously, you learned that from pr0n? haha it's awesome. That's how they should teach biology anyway.

A salmon for a mermaid? Isn't it too small? And I know that female salmons just lay eggs somewhere and male salmons just sperm on it. I don't know if anyone would want to write or read about salmons giving facials to mermaids.
Oh gods, I can't believe I just wrote that.


That's one way of doing it... nivia_ksiak February 22 2010, 17:19:35 UTC

It doesn't *actually* answer your question - but I couldn't help but think of this when I saw your post.

Also: Hi! I've never commented before, but I love what you write.


Re: That's one way of doing it... nike_ravus February 22 2010, 18:00:19 UTC
OMG! That is awesome! but I can't help but think mad culture clash issues... and now I have to consider what mermaid centric sex-toys would be like. Egg cluster pornographic photographs?

Re: Also: Hi to you too! I'm glad you like it!


anonymous February 23 2010, 06:26:26 UTC
OMFG Yes!!! I am so glad to find out that I am not the only one out there that picked up on that vibe. Seriously a small part of me felt guilty for even thinking it so a huge THANK YOU.


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