Loveaholic 6/8

Dec 07, 2009 23:01

Title: Loveaholic 6/8

Author: Alsike

Fandom: X-Men/Criminal Minds x-over

Pairing: Emma Frost/Emily Prentiss

Rating: R

AN/Disclaimer: Not my girls.

Apologies: And City on the River breaks into the lead again! But of course, what did I write last night? Not my paper that's due tomorrow... chapter 4 of Bicker. *sigh* Bedtime now, mad paper writing tomorrow.

Summary: Sometimes the plans you make have a chance to become real. What if what you thought you wanted isn't enough?

One of the lessons Emma always taught to first years was Sex Ed. She had had a long discussion with the headmaster and finally convinced him that a co-ed boarding school really did need a sex ed class. She split it into three modules: Relationships, Hygiene, and Eroticism (or Social, Physical, and Intellectual). She usually liked to read Avi’s Devil’s Race to them around this time, since there were few books for children that described incestuous lust as vividly.

She started with a basic psychological outline of emotions. She asked for the students to give her emotions. Some were basic, some more creative, like ‘the feeling you get when your brother puts a frog down your shirt,’ eventually someone would manage to enunciate ‘love’ and once the giggling was over Emma would bear down on the child. “Are there different kinds of love?”

Sometimes she would get ‘gay love’ from a kid with an older sibling, but usually she got ‘love for pets,’ ‘love for parents,’ ‘love for siblings that sometimes felt more like hate.’ She had to let the kids do most of the work on this one, because if she was required to describe her emotions about various members of her family from personal experience it would start with ‘fear and disgust’ for her father, ‘anger and disappointment’ towards her mother, ‘rage, disappointment and betrayal’ for her brother, ‘envy and repulsion’ towards her older sister, and ‘indifference’ for her younger.

She didn’t actually believe in love, so she broke up all the things the kids classed under it into their more accurate groups.

Companionship, for the people (or animals) you spent time with and always wanted to have a relationship with.

Friendship, for the people who knew you well and liked you, and you knew well and liked them.

Attraction, for the people you didn’t really know and didn’t have any bonds with, but were obsessed with anyways.

She always got a laugh with that one. Enough of them had seen bare attraction in action, and enjoyed its ludicrousness. It wasn’t as funny when you could see it in yourself, knew that you were being ludicrous, but couldn’t stop.

She explained that there could be combinations of the three. When asked to write down which qualities their relationships exhibited, most put Companionship for family members, and Companionship and Friendship for their closest friends. (They were all too embarrassed to admit to an attraction, even if they were ‘going steady.’ Sometimes Emma wondered if you only started to be attracted to people around age 20. Even arousal in years before that was often more situational than relational.)

It was always sort of cute and sort of sad to see them so certain that they were committed to their friends. So few friendships would last into adulthood, and if they did, they would likely be long distance, no commitment, reduced intimacy.

Emily had done it, chosen friendship and commitment over attraction. It was a dangerous decision, especially now that her husband had found passion with someone who shared their lives. She couldn’t judge how intimate he was with his lover, but something about Michael suggested that he wasn’t the type to begin a sexual relationship with someone he wasn’t intimate with, especially when they lived together.

Emma didn’t believe that all three could exist together for extended periods of time. Attraction fizzled with too much intimacy, intimacy failed with too much commitment, commitment failed when challenged by attraction. Everyone wanted it, but it was impossible. Perhaps Emily had realized that as well, which was why she chose two out of three, the most reliable two out of three. It was as likely to work as anyone else’s relationship. At least she wasn’t idealistic.

It was interesting to get Susan and Sam’s charts. They weren’t exactly the same.

Susan Delphine Fleetwood-Prentiss

Mom - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Dad - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Matt - Me = Friendship
Sam - Me = Companionship, Friendship, Irritation
Grandma Fleetwood - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Grandpa Fleetwood - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Gran - Me =
Ms. Frost - Me = Friendship
Mom - Dad = Companionship, Friendship
Mom - Matt = Friendship
Dad -Matt = Friendship, A…

Sam F.P

Mom - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Dad - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Matt - Me = Friendship
Susan - Me = Companionship
Grandma F - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Grandpa F - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Gran - Me = Companionship
Ms. Frost - Me = Friendship
Danny - Me = Companionship, Friendship
Mom - Dad = Companionship, Friendship
Mom - Matt = Companionship, Friendship
Dad - Matt = Friendship, Attraction

That was interesting. Both of the children were clearly aware of the relationship between their father and Matt. Emma wondered if their parents knew how knowledgeable they were. Probably not. The rift between them and their grandmother was also very clear.

Emma mailed copies home.

* * *

“Mother,” Emily said tiredly into the phone, and went about opening the mail. “I know you don’t like what I’ve done with my life. I know you don’t like it that I’m a professor and not a diplomat. I know you don’t like it that I chose to live in the UK. None of those things have made me change my mind. Why on earth do you think that your disapproval will encourage me to leave Michael?”

High frequencies echoed from the phone. Emily groaned silently and unfolded a sheet of paper. Her finger scanned down it and froze on the last line.

“Mom,” she said, he tone entirely different. “I can’t talk right now.”

The response was shrill.

“Mom. I’m gay too. You knew that, you just let yourself stop believing it when I got married. And if you call Michael or Matt one more name, I will never speak to you again.” Her words were stern and cold and completely believable. Michael was standing in the doorway, staring at her. She hung up.

“What was that about?”

Emily showed him the scrap of notepaper. “I think we need to have that talk with the kids.”

* * *

Sam and Susan sat nervously at the counter.

“So,” Michael started jovially. “I’ve heard you’ve started studying relationships at school.”

There were two hesitant nods.

“Well, we thought we’d help out with that, and tell you a bit about your mom’s and my relationship.”

“Are you getting a divorce?” Sam asked in a small voice.

“Jared said that when your parents sit you down to talk about their relationship, it means they’re getting a divorce,” Susan added.

Michael gaped.

“Of course not,” Emily snapped. Then she felt guilty. She shouldn’t respond to her children in the same way that she did to her mother. “We have a very good relationship. And both of you got it exactly right.” She put the papers on the table. “We’re best friends, and we are going to stay together. We made a commitment to stay together. But we’re not attracted to each other.”

Sam made a face. “Well, that would be gross.”

Susan bit her lip. “We knew that,” she said softly. “You don’t even sleep in the same room. Other people’s parents sleep in the same room.”

“And sometimes Dad sleeps in the same room as Matt,” said Sam, happily.

Susan stiffened. “No he doesn’t.”

“Of course he does,” said Sam, confused. “I’ve seen him coming out in the mornings.”

“You can’t say that!”

“Hey,” Emily put up her hand to stop it. “Lets not get ahead of ourselves. We’re a family, so we don’t have to lie to each other. Sam can say that, if he wants, to us. You just need to be careful who you say that to outside our family.”

“Like Gran,” Sam muttered.

“What about Ms. Frost?” Susan asked.

Emily felt herself turning red. “If you need to,” she managed to say. “Ms. Frost knows what’s going on, and you can talk to her.”

Susan cocked her head and looked at her curiously.

“What is going on?” asked Sam.

“Has Ms. Frost talked about homosexuality yet?” inquired Michael. There was a bit of a smirk in his voice, and Emily smacked him.

Susan shrugged. “She just said that some people were attracted to mostly one gender or another, but a lot of times there was a mix.”

“Bi,” Michael mouthed. Emily glared at him.

“And she said that attraction didn’t mean anything. It was a physical response and it meant about as much as sleeping for ten hours, or wanting to always eat dinner at three o’clock.”

Michael blinked. “That’s… interesting.”

Emily glanced away. “That’s Emma,” she muttered.

“Well,” Michael smiled again, and Emily wondered why he always felt that putting a good face on it made distressing things more easy to say. “Your mother and I are both… homosexual. When I’m attracted to someone, it’s usually a guy. And your mother is usually attracted to women.”

Emily frowned. “Usually is still not very often.”

Sam was cringing at this discussion. Susan was just very still and pale.

“But because we loved each other in all the other ways, we decided that we wanted to be part of each other’s families. Attraction wasn’t that important.”

“Good,” said Sam, fidgety. “I get it all now. Can I go? I really don’t want to hear you talk about sex.”

Michael laughed.

“Sure, you can go,” said Emily. He fled like the hounds of hell were after him, but Susan, stayed sitting calmly and seriously. “Do you have any questions?”

Susan turned coolly to her father. “Are you in love with Matt?”

“What?” he gaped.

“Well, you don’t act like you are just attracted to him. Ms. Frost said you need 2 out of 3 to call it love.”

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t, I don’t really know. But I do like him very much.”

Susan looked at her mother. “And that’s okay?”

“Matt’s my friend too.” She glared at her husband. “Technically, he was my friend first.”

“But it’s not really fair, is it? You both have someone to be with and be close to. And dad has someone to be attracted to. But what about mom?”

Michael elbowed her lightly. “There’s always Ms. Frost.”

Susan’s eyes widened and she looked shocked and appalled. “You wouldn’t!”

The shocked exclamation was like a slap across the face. Emily paled.

“You have?”

“There is nothing between me and your teacher,” Emily said firmly. “Some people,” she glared at Michael, “think that there ought to be. But there’s nothing. I appreciate her for being a good teacher for you, but we don’t even get along.”

Susan nodded slowly. “I’ll believe you. But don’t do it. I don’t want you to be with her.”

Only Michael was confused. “Why not? I thought you liked her.”

“I do. That’s why. She’s my teacher, mine and Sam’s. I need to be able to talk to her, to trust her. And I can’t do that if mom’s in the way.”

Now Emily was feeling horribly guilty. She crouched down and put her hand on Susan’s shoulder. “I promise, I won’t get in your way. But, I do know, that even if we did… start something, I could never be as important to her as you are.”

* * *
7: And Sorrow's native son

criminal minds, x-men, emma/emily

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