[playing with fire] Chapters 10 & 11
Ah~~~ Did you know that I really love Kanjani's 宇宙に行ったライオン from the Fight album. This song really has helped me so much lately. I'm the type of person that struggles and struggles with facing the issues in front of me. I'm very timid about it, and I find myself running away. But this one song... It gives me courage! I feel like I can accomplish anything, like I can stand and fight! It truly is a great feeling.
So please, have a listen to this song again? ^^
Previous Chapter
Chapter Ten
They tried helping me stand, but I really couldn't. I was so out of it, I just sat there as they pulled me up. I saw them trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear them. What were they trying to say? Why did Johnny have tears in his eyes? I felt like I wanted to comfort him, but at the last second I remained silent, distant.
But to my surprise I was suddenly being lifted off the floor, being held princess-style in Gum's stable arms. I looked at him, was I always so light? It felt like he picked me up so easily. But even so, he didn't look down at me as he walked me to the back room where the couches were.
He sat me down on the couch, taking the chair next to me. I sat there in silence, trying to recall the moments when Gum changed. When was it exactly? Mac started excluding me about 3 weeks before Gum officially broke up with me. Did Pyro really let him wait that long?
Pyro....
His voice rang in my head, "I fell in love with you!"
I pulled my knees up into my chest while covering my ears, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to shut him out. But when I heard Gum quickly come to my side I opened my eyes to see tears in his eyes. I couldn't remember ever seeing him cry, so it came as a shock to me. Someone, who was always so happy, shouldn't be crying.
I reached out my hand to wipe away his tears, but stopped just short of touching him. Like a sudden flash, I was looking at Pyro, right in front of me! Then it was Gum, no Pyro! They kept switching right in front of my eyes. My mind was playing tricks on me. I backed away quickly to the opposite side of the couch, scared of what I was seeing.
"Ai, what's wrong? Let me help you."
"Gum I'm-" I could feel my mind racing, and my pulse going a mile a minute, "Please I... I can't breath-"
I was suddenly grabbing my chest, sharp pains were shooting through me, terrible pain. I was grasping hard for air, each gasp felt like I was suffocating myself. Gum quickly yelled for someone to get me a paper bag and a water, as he reached out for me, trying to figure out what to do.
"SOMEONE!" He was panicking.
Everyone was in the room within seconds, Jacky pushed them aside to hand Gum the paper bag. He quickly sat me up and put the bag over my mouth. For a moment it felt like I was going to die.
"Breathe into the bag Ai!"
I grabbed the bag too hard, closing it over my mouth. Gum had to help me hold it open properly for it to help me. He grabbed my other hand and put it on his chest.
"Do you feel my chest going up and down? Match my breathing Ai."
My hand raised up and down slowly with Gum's calm breathing. I could feel my fingers starting to clasp around his tank top; it was difficult to try and match his pace. But he placed his hand on top of mine and intertwined his fingers with mine, he slowly rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. I always knew his hands to be tough and hard, but the slow motion of his thumb rubbing back and forth was so soft and comforting.
Slowly my breathing returned to normal, much to the relief of all the guys. Johnny kneeled next to me and handed me a glass of water. Gum relunctantly let my hand go as I grabbed the water and I pulled the bag away slowly. I couldn't help but wonder if my panic attack would come back suddenly, but it didn't. I sipped the water slowly, feeling the coolness on my dry throat. Within seconds I was gulping down the whole glass; I didn't realise I was that parched. I guess a panic attack would do that to you.
"So everyone... knew?"
Gum put his hands on his knees, looking down at the ground, "I talked to Mac about it first, and then eventually the other guys. I told..." he paused and putting so much hate as he spoke his name, "Pyro... to give me a few weeks, otherwise you'd never believe my lie..."
So that explained why he was able to wait...
"How come... no one said anything? You could have told me." I was painfully sad and hurt, "Was I not part of the family? I could have thought up of a way to help."
Toppo sat on the armrest behind me, "Of course you're family, but..."
Jacky spoke up from behind Mac, "We couldn't chance it Ai-chan, BECAUSE you're family."
I felt a little less hurt, but either way, I still felt upset, "But still..."
Johnny put a hand on my knee, rubbing it slowly, trying to comfort me, "Ai-chan..."
Gum spoke up, "Is it ok if I talk to Ai alone?"
Mac put his hands in his pockets as he started walking away, "Take your time. C'mon guys."
They all left slowly, Johnny being the last one as he gave me a small kiss on the top of my head. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. I couldn't help but feel a little hopeful from that smile. I turned my head to look at Gum, he looked like he was lost in his thoughts. I gave him time to think, as I pulled my legs to the side and over the edge of the couch. My hands naturally started fidgeting around from the silence shared between us.
He hunched over, closing his eyes, "Do you remember the time when I first taught you how to block a punch, and then counter attacking using your opponent's strength against them?"
I closed my eyes and remembered the memory, "Yes, I do..."
"You were so happy, it was the first time I saw you laugh. Truly laugh..." He sat back up and smiled at me, "That's my favorite memory. Well, one of many of course, but the one that stands out to me the most."
His eyes looked like the ones I remembered, so joyful. Maybe I could share the same joyfulness, "I was so happy because it was the first time I truly felt like I was in control, like I wouldn't be taken advantage of again."
I smiled remembering that feeling.
"I'm so sorry!" Gum was suddenly bowing to me, "I'm so sorry Ai!"
I could hear him on the verge of crying, "D-don't cry!" I reached out to push him back up, "Boys don't cry!"
He chuckled a bit, but was still serious, "I know there isn't anything I could do to make up all the pain you went through...but I'll always be here for you Ai. No matter how long it takes, I'll be here."
"Gum..." my voice was quiet.
"We should have never been together. It was always you and Gum."
I looked up at Gum suddenly, a bit shaken from hearing Pyro's voice in my head. He looked at me with a worried look on his face, but turned away from me.
"Even after the years of being apart from you...I'm still in love with you Ai..." But before I could say anything he kept talking, "You don't have to answer me, but I wanted you to know. I know it's selfish of me, but I hope you can forgive me one day."
A soft smile spread on my lips, "Thank you for telling me."
He looked at me confused, "Thank you?"
I smiled, "I just- I'm glad you told me."
"I'm glad I told you too."
We looked at each other, and for the first time I saw the old Gum back. I felt like I was transported back into the past. With it, all the memories of being at the Eight, with Gum, and with the guys. I wasn't always so nice and honest, but they always knew to take it in stride, even tease me about it. All the smiles and laughs.
With all that happiness, I could feel my heart getting softer, lighter. And it felt good. The misery and anguish that was twisted up inside of my heart felt like it was slowly coming undone; Pyro.
It was almost as if the 3 years apart from him and the others didn't happen...
I sat up with eagerness, "Do you remember the time Arsenal got so mad at us because we spilt the cup of milk on his guns?"
We both started laughing. I looked at his smile and listened to him; his laugh always cheered me up in the past. I think it still can...I couldn't help but keep laughing with him.
He rocked back still laughing, "Or the time when we beat Ace in janken so he had to clean up the bar after-"
"Oh yeah! He was so pissed~!"
Our laughing slowly came to a stop, and we naturally looked at each other. His cheeks were a light shade of pink, and his dimples showed as he smiled. Gum... my Gum.
But he's not my Gum... is he? Even after all this time...
I looked away, it was suddenly very hard being in the same room as him. I stood up in a rush to leave, but it left me feeling dizzy. I stumbled slightly, causing Gum to hurry to my side.
"Are you ok?" His face very close to mine.
"Gum, I'd like to be...alone right now."
He looked sad, but mostly held it in, "Ok, I'll leave."
"I'm sorry."
As he turned the corner to leave, I sat back down crying.
It took me only a month after leaving Gum and the guys to stop crying myself to sleep from being away from them. And since then, I never cried even once. But now, all I've been doing is crying, how did it get this way?
I leaned over so that I was lying on my side on the couch, closing my eyes and trying to make a timeline in my head.
Gum exposed Pyro's plans about his bomb. Pyro went away. I arrived at Sunshine. I fell in love with Gum. Several years pass, and then we finally confess to each other. We date. I agree to follow Gum as he follows Mac. Together, we work with the other guys. Several more years go by. Pyro approaches Gum. Gum breaks up with me. Years pass. I become a hostage. And then suddenly, Pyro...
"And now...?"
I tried to think of my future. What was going to happen now? What did I want? They appeared in my mind, and I naturally started listing off things about each of them.
They both have broken my heart, but Gum only did it to protect me. Pyro regrets what he did though, and even said I was meant to be with Gum. That proves he has really changed. But can I forgive him for what he did? Gum said he'd still be by my side always, would Pyro say that? Gum was always so patient, sweet, and always thinking about me... And Pyro, he...he always dragged me along at his pace and saying such idiotic things, but was always doing his best to be a good boyfriend to me.
I quickly shook my head from side to side. No, how could I be thinking about forgiving Pyro! Even if he has changed... I can't forgive him for what he did.
"I've made up my mind..."
Never again will I think of Pyro!
I opened my eyes and sat up; I'll stay here at the Eight, and I'll stay by Gum's side.
Chapter Eleven
I got up slowly, making sure I wouldn't fall over, I felt so tired and weak. And come to think of it, I haven't eaten in a while... I'm sure after a meal I'd be feeling up to being my old self again. With the decision to stay here with Gum, I felt more confident as a person. Like I finally knew where I belonged; I could live again.
"Courage!" I cheered myself on as I walked to the wall and peeked around the corner. I have to admit I'm a little shy to just walk into the room and talking to the guys. I mean, I haven't interracted with these guys in several years, I feel like I'll make things awkward. I've missed them all so much, what should I say?
With a few steps I was in the main room looking at them all, "E-Everyone.. Um!" I hesitated as they all looked at me, I was really nervous, "I just want to say...Um, well, I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble!" I quickly bowed down letting my hair fall into my face. "I hope you can forgive me!"
Jacky started chuckling, "Now you say that!?"
I raised back up, "E-Eh?"
Mac leaned up against the wall as he crossed his arms, "It's not a matter of saying sorry Ai, it's what we do, we stick together."
"Mac..." I said as relief spread through my body. But suddenly my stomach betrayed me as it made this terrible noise, loud enough for everyone to hear. I quickly raised my hand to my stomach, as if I was trying to keep it quiet, but the damage was done as they all started laughing.
Jacky quickly got out his favorte pan, "Want some pasta?!"
Johnny rolled his eyes, "Is that all you ever feel like making?"
"It's my best dish!" He started laughing.
I winked at Johnny as he looked at me, but he quickly turned his attention to the bar, I'm guessing he wanted to hide his blushing.
The sizzling of the pan set off the various other noises that now filled The Eight. Mac stretched and walked out of the room complaining about a job they just got offered, while Ace started bugging Arsenal for one of his cigaretts. I walked over to the small table that Toppo was sitting at, he was busily looking over some papers. I took a quick peek and noticed a lot of random letters and words around a chart.
I tilted my head, "Is that another one of your science projects?"
Ace overheard me and started laughing. Toppo ignored Ace's teasing, re-adjusting his colorful glasses, "Un, I've thought up of a new concoction. This one, it's interesting because I've set it up to knock someone out for several hours, but after they wake up, have permanent memory loss."
"EH?!"
He waved his hand back and forth, "No no no you misunderstand, they just won't remember a few hours before being knocked out."
But suddenly Jacky started yelling from behind the bar, "Don't go stinking up the place again Toppo! Your last experiment smelled like shit!"
Toppo pouted back, "How am I suppose to make anything if you always complain Jacky!" He folded the papers to stuff in his pocket as he grabbed his DS. He walked away as the sounds of the game turning on.
"OI!"
I looked at Jacky and shrugged, we all knew Toppo kept to himself and worked best when he was dealing with chemicals. So generally everyone mostly left him alone, everyone except Jacky. I leaned back in the chair and stretched my arms, when I noticed something behind the bar.
"Hm?" It looked like some type of clay portrait or something... I squited my eyes a little and noticed handprints on them with a tiny little handprint in the middle. "Eh? A baby's...?"
But I quickly forgot about it as Johnny walked up to me and sat down as he handed the plate full of Jacky's homemade pasta. It smelled so good, I could feel drool filling my mouth. I quickly grabbed the chopsticks and started stuffing my mouth. Johnny propped his head up on his hand and smiled as he watched me eat.
I talked with my mouth full, "W-what is it?" It was embarrasssing eating while someone was watching.
"Nothing, just thinking you haven't gotten any more lady-like since the last time you were here eating."
A noodle hung out of my mouth, but I quickly sucked it up making a small mess on my face, "This is just how I am."
"True," he said smiling some more.
Johnny's eyes flickered to look past me then quickly back to my plate. I just finished so he got up to take my plate back. I watched him leave as I wiped up my mouth a bit, and noticed Gum stepping outside. I looked around and realised most of the guys had scattered.
I know I said I wanted Gum to give me some space, but I couldn't help but want to keep him company. Now that I made the decision to be with him, I wanted to tell him immidiately.
I pushed the chair back to get up and follow him outside. He turned back as he heard the door open and close behind him. He blinked his eyes a bit in confusion.
"Is it ok... if I join you?"
He nodded, so I walked over to his side. The sun was starting to turn orange as the day was slowly coming to an end, and I felt calm from the sight. I turned my head to look up at Gum, and noticed he was looking at me. We both shyly looked away from each other. There it was again, the awkward silence.
"Um," we both started.
He quickly took a small step back and raised his hand towards me, "No, please go ahead."
I shook my head, "No no no that's ok. You first. Please."
He raised his hand to rub his shoulder, "No, well, I was just thinking about what I should say. I don't want to upset you or anything, and before I knew it... I was just... Looking at you."
I bit my lip, "Oh..."
He turned back to look at the sunset, "What were you going to say?"
I looked down, "I don't know really...I just wanted to..." I smiled, "I don't know..." C'mon Ai! Where did the courage go!?
I looked up at him and again he was looking at me, but his eyes looked completely different. What was it? Desire? I gulped nervously. I was starting to get too embarrassed. I can't do it!
"U-Um, Gum, I should be heading back in..."
My body quickly turned, and I took a few steps before I felt his hand grab my arm, stopping me. Suddenly I was spinning back around and found myself in his arms. He held me tightly, but it wan't uncomfortable in the slightest. My body remembered being held by him.
"I know you probably don't want this, and you're probably really mad but I don't care." I felt his head move a little as he talked, "I don't want to let you go, because honestly, as I was looking at you, all I was thinking about was holding you again. Kissing you again..."
"Gum..." I said into his shoulder.
"Right now you're probably thinking that you shouldn't kiss me. That you don't know what your feelings are, and you're probably really confused. I am too Ai, but I know, at this very moment, I'm happy. I'm happy because I've got you in my arms again. After all this time, I'm able to be with you again..." He pulled away, just enough so he could look me in the eyes.
"You're wrong..." I blushed.
"What?"
"I'm not confused at all about my feelings... because I... I want to be with you again Gum, I-"
He didn't let me finish as he leaned his head down to mine and covered my mouth with his. His lips tenderly moved over mine, with so much passion. My eyes fluttered shut as I got lost in the same happy moment he was just talking about.
This one moment in time when I was finally back with Gum and all the world was lost.
By the time we pulled away from each other the sun had already set and the stars were out.
He smiled, "We should probably head back inside. Can't chance you being out here for too long."
I smiled back, "Right."
He opened the door and let me walk through first, I felt a little embarrassed walking in and seeing Johnny smiling at me from behind the bar, like as if he saw everything. He flicked his head calling me over to him. I left Gum by the door as I headed to Johnny.
"What is it?"
He leaned over, "So? What happened? Everything ok?"
I blushed, "Quit being so nosy!"
He chuckled, "Ok fine you don't have to tell me."
I whispered, "I told him I wanted to be with him again..."
He beamed, "Let's drink to that!"
"Are you serious?" I laughed.
He laughed as he poured us some shots. What was he thinking? I couldn't help but keep laughing, I'm sure he's been just as worried as me about everything. We took our shots as Ace turned on the tv in the other room.
"Ahh mou~ I'm so bored! When the hell are we opening up the club?! I wanna get with a really easy chick tonight!"
Gum shook his head, "That's the type Ace is into ne~"
"Hell yeah! I don't want commitment. Fuck that!"
Me and Johnny both rolled our eyes. But my chest started hurting from the stinging of the alcohol, "Do you mind pouring me a glass of water?"
He grinned, "Still no good with alcohol huh?"
"No, thank God."
He poured me the glass of water as Gum walked up to the bar asking for a glass of milk. But suddenly the TV was on full blast.
Gum spoke up turning his head in Ace's direction, "Hey! Why's it so loud?!"
But we all shot our heads in that direction as the TV reporter started talking, "This breaking news just in. Among the seven terrorists attacking PSU one of them has been killed by SAT. Details on the man killed has yet to be announced."
My hand started shaking uncontrollably and I couldn't hold on to my glass of water; it fell hard to the ground causing it to shatter into pieces.
Gum quickly looked to the shattered glass on the floor then at me; my hands were pressed together over my mouth, trying to conceal my sudden fright.
I couldn't help but let his name slip from my lips, "Pyro!"
Next Chapter - Final
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TBH these two chapters were SO HARD to write. I really didn't know what I wanted to do with the ending, and how to tie up this story. But I finally thought of a way that I'm happy with, and I hope you'll find interesting. The ending I'll save for next time!
And I wanna apologize again, for taking so long. Hopefully you're still interested in this story! LOL
Till next time! <3
So please, have a listen to this song again? ^^
Previous Chapter
Chapter Ten
They tried helping me stand, but I really couldn't. I was so out of it, I just sat there as they pulled me up. I saw them trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear them. What were they trying to say? Why did Johnny have tears in his eyes? I felt like I wanted to comfort him, but at the last second I remained silent, distant.
But to my surprise I was suddenly being lifted off the floor, being held princess-style in Gum's stable arms. I looked at him, was I always so light? It felt like he picked me up so easily. But even so, he didn't look down at me as he walked me to the back room where the couches were.
He sat me down on the couch, taking the chair next to me. I sat there in silence, trying to recall the moments when Gum changed. When was it exactly? Mac started excluding me about 3 weeks before Gum officially broke up with me. Did Pyro really let him wait that long?
Pyro....
His voice rang in my head, "I fell in love with you!"
I pulled my knees up into my chest while covering my ears, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to shut him out. But when I heard Gum quickly come to my side I opened my eyes to see tears in his eyes. I couldn't remember ever seeing him cry, so it came as a shock to me. Someone, who was always so happy, shouldn't be crying.
I reached out my hand to wipe away his tears, but stopped just short of touching him. Like a sudden flash, I was looking at Pyro, right in front of me! Then it was Gum, no Pyro! They kept switching right in front of my eyes. My mind was playing tricks on me. I backed away quickly to the opposite side of the couch, scared of what I was seeing.
"Ai, what's wrong? Let me help you."
"Gum I'm-" I could feel my mind racing, and my pulse going a mile a minute, "Please I... I can't breath-"
I was suddenly grabbing my chest, sharp pains were shooting through me, terrible pain. I was grasping hard for air, each gasp felt like I was suffocating myself. Gum quickly yelled for someone to get me a paper bag and a water, as he reached out for me, trying to figure out what to do.
"SOMEONE!" He was panicking.
Everyone was in the room within seconds, Jacky pushed them aside to hand Gum the paper bag. He quickly sat me up and put the bag over my mouth. For a moment it felt like I was going to die.
"Breathe into the bag Ai!"
I grabbed the bag too hard, closing it over my mouth. Gum had to help me hold it open properly for it to help me. He grabbed my other hand and put it on his chest.
"Do you feel my chest going up and down? Match my breathing Ai."
My hand raised up and down slowly with Gum's calm breathing. I could feel my fingers starting to clasp around his tank top; it was difficult to try and match his pace. But he placed his hand on top of mine and intertwined his fingers with mine, he slowly rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. I always knew his hands to be tough and hard, but the slow motion of his thumb rubbing back and forth was so soft and comforting.
Slowly my breathing returned to normal, much to the relief of all the guys. Johnny kneeled next to me and handed me a glass of water. Gum relunctantly let my hand go as I grabbed the water and I pulled the bag away slowly. I couldn't help but wonder if my panic attack would come back suddenly, but it didn't. I sipped the water slowly, feeling the coolness on my dry throat. Within seconds I was gulping down the whole glass; I didn't realise I was that parched. I guess a panic attack would do that to you.
"So everyone... knew?"
Gum put his hands on his knees, looking down at the ground, "I talked to Mac about it first, and then eventually the other guys. I told..." he paused and putting so much hate as he spoke his name, "Pyro... to give me a few weeks, otherwise you'd never believe my lie..."
So that explained why he was able to wait...
"How come... no one said anything? You could have told me." I was painfully sad and hurt, "Was I not part of the family? I could have thought up of a way to help."
Toppo sat on the armrest behind me, "Of course you're family, but..."
Jacky spoke up from behind Mac, "We couldn't chance it Ai-chan, BECAUSE you're family."
I felt a little less hurt, but either way, I still felt upset, "But still..."
Johnny put a hand on my knee, rubbing it slowly, trying to comfort me, "Ai-chan..."
Gum spoke up, "Is it ok if I talk to Ai alone?"
Mac put his hands in his pockets as he started walking away, "Take your time. C'mon guys."
They all left slowly, Johnny being the last one as he gave me a small kiss on the top of my head. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. I couldn't help but feel a little hopeful from that smile. I turned my head to look at Gum, he looked like he was lost in his thoughts. I gave him time to think, as I pulled my legs to the side and over the edge of the couch. My hands naturally started fidgeting around from the silence shared between us.
He hunched over, closing his eyes, "Do you remember the time when I first taught you how to block a punch, and then counter attacking using your opponent's strength against them?"
I closed my eyes and remembered the memory, "Yes, I do..."
"You were so happy, it was the first time I saw you laugh. Truly laugh..." He sat back up and smiled at me, "That's my favorite memory. Well, one of many of course, but the one that stands out to me the most."
His eyes looked like the ones I remembered, so joyful. Maybe I could share the same joyfulness, "I was so happy because it was the first time I truly felt like I was in control, like I wouldn't be taken advantage of again."
I smiled remembering that feeling.
"I'm so sorry!" Gum was suddenly bowing to me, "I'm so sorry Ai!"
I could hear him on the verge of crying, "D-don't cry!" I reached out to push him back up, "Boys don't cry!"
He chuckled a bit, but was still serious, "I know there isn't anything I could do to make up all the pain you went through...but I'll always be here for you Ai. No matter how long it takes, I'll be here."
"Gum..." my voice was quiet.
"We should have never been together. It was always you and Gum."
I looked up at Gum suddenly, a bit shaken from hearing Pyro's voice in my head. He looked at me with a worried look on his face, but turned away from me.
"Even after the years of being apart from you...I'm still in love with you Ai..." But before I could say anything he kept talking, "You don't have to answer me, but I wanted you to know. I know it's selfish of me, but I hope you can forgive me one day."
A soft smile spread on my lips, "Thank you for telling me."
He looked at me confused, "Thank you?"
I smiled, "I just- I'm glad you told me."
"I'm glad I told you too."
We looked at each other, and for the first time I saw the old Gum back. I felt like I was transported back into the past. With it, all the memories of being at the Eight, with Gum, and with the guys. I wasn't always so nice and honest, but they always knew to take it in stride, even tease me about it. All the smiles and laughs.
With all that happiness, I could feel my heart getting softer, lighter. And it felt good. The misery and anguish that was twisted up inside of my heart felt like it was slowly coming undone; Pyro.
It was almost as if the 3 years apart from him and the others didn't happen...
I sat up with eagerness, "Do you remember the time Arsenal got so mad at us because we spilt the cup of milk on his guns?"
We both started laughing. I looked at his smile and listened to him; his laugh always cheered me up in the past. I think it still can...I couldn't help but keep laughing with him.
He rocked back still laughing, "Or the time when we beat Ace in janken so he had to clean up the bar after-"
"Oh yeah! He was so pissed~!"
Our laughing slowly came to a stop, and we naturally looked at each other. His cheeks were a light shade of pink, and his dimples showed as he smiled. Gum... my Gum.
But he's not my Gum... is he? Even after all this time...
I looked away, it was suddenly very hard being in the same room as him. I stood up in a rush to leave, but it left me feeling dizzy. I stumbled slightly, causing Gum to hurry to my side.
"Are you ok?" His face very close to mine.
"Gum, I'd like to be...alone right now."
He looked sad, but mostly held it in, "Ok, I'll leave."
"I'm sorry."
As he turned the corner to leave, I sat back down crying.
It took me only a month after leaving Gum and the guys to stop crying myself to sleep from being away from them. And since then, I never cried even once. But now, all I've been doing is crying, how did it get this way?
I leaned over so that I was lying on my side on the couch, closing my eyes and trying to make a timeline in my head.
Gum exposed Pyro's plans about his bomb. Pyro went away. I arrived at Sunshine. I fell in love with Gum. Several years pass, and then we finally confess to each other. We date. I agree to follow Gum as he follows Mac. Together, we work with the other guys. Several more years go by. Pyro approaches Gum. Gum breaks up with me. Years pass. I become a hostage. And then suddenly, Pyro...
"And now...?"
I tried to think of my future. What was going to happen now? What did I want? They appeared in my mind, and I naturally started listing off things about each of them.
They both have broken my heart, but Gum only did it to protect me. Pyro regrets what he did though, and even said I was meant to be with Gum. That proves he has really changed. But can I forgive him for what he did? Gum said he'd still be by my side always, would Pyro say that? Gum was always so patient, sweet, and always thinking about me... And Pyro, he...he always dragged me along at his pace and saying such idiotic things, but was always doing his best to be a good boyfriend to me.
I quickly shook my head from side to side. No, how could I be thinking about forgiving Pyro! Even if he has changed... I can't forgive him for what he did.
"I've made up my mind..."
Never again will I think of Pyro!
I opened my eyes and sat up; I'll stay here at the Eight, and I'll stay by Gum's side.
Chapter Eleven
I got up slowly, making sure I wouldn't fall over, I felt so tired and weak. And come to think of it, I haven't eaten in a while... I'm sure after a meal I'd be feeling up to being my old self again. With the decision to stay here with Gum, I felt more confident as a person. Like I finally knew where I belonged; I could live again.
"Courage!" I cheered myself on as I walked to the wall and peeked around the corner. I have to admit I'm a little shy to just walk into the room and talking to the guys. I mean, I haven't interracted with these guys in several years, I feel like I'll make things awkward. I've missed them all so much, what should I say?
With a few steps I was in the main room looking at them all, "E-Everyone.. Um!" I hesitated as they all looked at me, I was really nervous, "I just want to say...Um, well, I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble!" I quickly bowed down letting my hair fall into my face. "I hope you can forgive me!"
Jacky started chuckling, "Now you say that!?"
I raised back up, "E-Eh?"
Mac leaned up against the wall as he crossed his arms, "It's not a matter of saying sorry Ai, it's what we do, we stick together."
"Mac..." I said as relief spread through my body. But suddenly my stomach betrayed me as it made this terrible noise, loud enough for everyone to hear. I quickly raised my hand to my stomach, as if I was trying to keep it quiet, but the damage was done as they all started laughing.
Jacky quickly got out his favorte pan, "Want some pasta?!"
Johnny rolled his eyes, "Is that all you ever feel like making?"
"It's my best dish!" He started laughing.
I winked at Johnny as he looked at me, but he quickly turned his attention to the bar, I'm guessing he wanted to hide his blushing.
The sizzling of the pan set off the various other noises that now filled The Eight. Mac stretched and walked out of the room complaining about a job they just got offered, while Ace started bugging Arsenal for one of his cigaretts. I walked over to the small table that Toppo was sitting at, he was busily looking over some papers. I took a quick peek and noticed a lot of random letters and words around a chart.
I tilted my head, "Is that another one of your science projects?"
Ace overheard me and started laughing. Toppo ignored Ace's teasing, re-adjusting his colorful glasses, "Un, I've thought up of a new concoction. This one, it's interesting because I've set it up to knock someone out for several hours, but after they wake up, have permanent memory loss."
"EH?!"
He waved his hand back and forth, "No no no you misunderstand, they just won't remember a few hours before being knocked out."
But suddenly Jacky started yelling from behind the bar, "Don't go stinking up the place again Toppo! Your last experiment smelled like shit!"
Toppo pouted back, "How am I suppose to make anything if you always complain Jacky!" He folded the papers to stuff in his pocket as he grabbed his DS. He walked away as the sounds of the game turning on.
"OI!"
I looked at Jacky and shrugged, we all knew Toppo kept to himself and worked best when he was dealing with chemicals. So generally everyone mostly left him alone, everyone except Jacky. I leaned back in the chair and stretched my arms, when I noticed something behind the bar.
"Hm?" It looked like some type of clay portrait or something... I squited my eyes a little and noticed handprints on them with a tiny little handprint in the middle. "Eh? A baby's...?"
But I quickly forgot about it as Johnny walked up to me and sat down as he handed the plate full of Jacky's homemade pasta. It smelled so good, I could feel drool filling my mouth. I quickly grabbed the chopsticks and started stuffing my mouth. Johnny propped his head up on his hand and smiled as he watched me eat.
I talked with my mouth full, "W-what is it?" It was embarrasssing eating while someone was watching.
"Nothing, just thinking you haven't gotten any more lady-like since the last time you were here eating."
A noodle hung out of my mouth, but I quickly sucked it up making a small mess on my face, "This is just how I am."
"True," he said smiling some more.
Johnny's eyes flickered to look past me then quickly back to my plate. I just finished so he got up to take my plate back. I watched him leave as I wiped up my mouth a bit, and noticed Gum stepping outside. I looked around and realised most of the guys had scattered.
I know I said I wanted Gum to give me some space, but I couldn't help but want to keep him company. Now that I made the decision to be with him, I wanted to tell him immidiately.
I pushed the chair back to get up and follow him outside. He turned back as he heard the door open and close behind him. He blinked his eyes a bit in confusion.
"Is it ok... if I join you?"
He nodded, so I walked over to his side. The sun was starting to turn orange as the day was slowly coming to an end, and I felt calm from the sight. I turned my head to look up at Gum, and noticed he was looking at me. We both shyly looked away from each other. There it was again, the awkward silence.
"Um," we both started.
He quickly took a small step back and raised his hand towards me, "No, please go ahead."
I shook my head, "No no no that's ok. You first. Please."
He raised his hand to rub his shoulder, "No, well, I was just thinking about what I should say. I don't want to upset you or anything, and before I knew it... I was just... Looking at you."
I bit my lip, "Oh..."
He turned back to look at the sunset, "What were you going to say?"
I looked down, "I don't know really...I just wanted to..." I smiled, "I don't know..." C'mon Ai! Where did the courage go!?
I looked up at him and again he was looking at me, but his eyes looked completely different. What was it? Desire? I gulped nervously. I was starting to get too embarrassed. I can't do it!
"U-Um, Gum, I should be heading back in..."
My body quickly turned, and I took a few steps before I felt his hand grab my arm, stopping me. Suddenly I was spinning back around and found myself in his arms. He held me tightly, but it wan't uncomfortable in the slightest. My body remembered being held by him.
"I know you probably don't want this, and you're probably really mad but I don't care." I felt his head move a little as he talked, "I don't want to let you go, because honestly, as I was looking at you, all I was thinking about was holding you again. Kissing you again..."
"Gum..." I said into his shoulder.
"Right now you're probably thinking that you shouldn't kiss me. That you don't know what your feelings are, and you're probably really confused. I am too Ai, but I know, at this very moment, I'm happy. I'm happy because I've got you in my arms again. After all this time, I'm able to be with you again..." He pulled away, just enough so he could look me in the eyes.
"You're wrong..." I blushed.
"What?"
"I'm not confused at all about my feelings... because I... I want to be with you again Gum, I-"
He didn't let me finish as he leaned his head down to mine and covered my mouth with his. His lips tenderly moved over mine, with so much passion. My eyes fluttered shut as I got lost in the same happy moment he was just talking about.
This one moment in time when I was finally back with Gum and all the world was lost.
By the time we pulled away from each other the sun had already set and the stars were out.
He smiled, "We should probably head back inside. Can't chance you being out here for too long."
I smiled back, "Right."
He opened the door and let me walk through first, I felt a little embarrassed walking in and seeing Johnny smiling at me from behind the bar, like as if he saw everything. He flicked his head calling me over to him. I left Gum by the door as I headed to Johnny.
"What is it?"
He leaned over, "So? What happened? Everything ok?"
I blushed, "Quit being so nosy!"
He chuckled, "Ok fine you don't have to tell me."
I whispered, "I told him I wanted to be with him again..."
He beamed, "Let's drink to that!"
"Are you serious?" I laughed.
He laughed as he poured us some shots. What was he thinking? I couldn't help but keep laughing, I'm sure he's been just as worried as me about everything. We took our shots as Ace turned on the tv in the other room.
"Ahh mou~ I'm so bored! When the hell are we opening up the club?! I wanna get with a really easy chick tonight!"
Gum shook his head, "That's the type Ace is into ne~"
"Hell yeah! I don't want commitment. Fuck that!"
Me and Johnny both rolled our eyes. But my chest started hurting from the stinging of the alcohol, "Do you mind pouring me a glass of water?"
He grinned, "Still no good with alcohol huh?"
"No, thank God."
He poured me the glass of water as Gum walked up to the bar asking for a glass of milk. But suddenly the TV was on full blast.
Gum spoke up turning his head in Ace's direction, "Hey! Why's it so loud?!"
But we all shot our heads in that direction as the TV reporter started talking, "This breaking news just in. Among the seven terrorists attacking PSU one of them has been killed by SAT. Details on the man killed has yet to be announced."
My hand started shaking uncontrollably and I couldn't hold on to my glass of water; it fell hard to the ground causing it to shatter into pieces.
Gum quickly looked to the shattered glass on the floor then at me; my hands were pressed together over my mouth, trying to conceal my sudden fright.
I couldn't help but let his name slip from my lips, "Pyro!"
Next Chapter - Final
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TBH these two chapters were SO HARD to write. I really didn't know what I wanted to do with the ending, and how to tie up this story. But I finally thought of a way that I'm happy with, and I hope you'll find interesting. The ending I'll save for next time!
And I wanna apologize again, for taking so long. Hopefully you're still interested in this story! LOL
Till next time! <3