No rest for the wicked - a meta on families
Supernatural has always been a show about family, and in the finale we had a comparison of two families - the Winchesters and the Freemonts. Both are families isolated and suffering, each unhappy in their own way.
We have spent three seasons now exploring the Winchester family. Unhappy? Sometimes. Dysfunctional? Certainly.
Isolation is a major factor in enabling dysfunction in a family. It has long been held as a major criticism of the nuclear family, and the breakdown of the extended family, enhanced post WW2 by the retreat to suburbia and breakdown in community. When isolated, what happens in the family is unchallenged and accepted as the norm. Whether by design or circumstance, isolation provides the hothouse where dysfunction and abuse can grow and continue. We see it in abusive relationships, or families, in isolated communities, or in extreme religions or cults.
The Winchesters certainly grew up isolated, from other people, from society - a by-product of John’s mission, and possibly paranoia. The boys had little contact with even the community, such as it is of hunters, such as that which existed at the Roadhouse. We know they had ongoing contact with a few people, in particularly Bobby.
“Family don't end with blood” says Bobby, but importantly he is not a part of the Winchester family, but an influential ally. I am not positing a Bobby=good father, John=bad father dichotomy- let’s not forget Bobby is also a revenge-driven, loner and hunter. But he is someone who provides an alternative influence to the Winchester way, although even at this point in his long relationship with the boys, it takes a strong effort for him to be heard by them.
In the finale, Dean tries to break the cycle of sacrifice, as martrydom as he calls it in this family. John sacrificed himself for Dean, but before that he’d sacrificed himself and the family, to his obsessive quest for vengeance for Mary’s murder. Sam we have seen after Jess’ death, and again in ‘Mystery Spot’, has soaked up this family tradition too. Dean of course sacrificed himself for Sam and now doesn’t want Sam to keep up this particular family tradition. He makes a distinction here, a very Winchester one. It’s okay to for him and Sam to ‘go down swinging’, but not, particularly for Sam, to play on the demons’ terms. We saw this also in ‘Jus in Belo’, and also way back in ‘Faith’, where Dean was also willing to accept a ‘normal’ death. He had a similar sort of choice in ‘In My Time of Dying’ but we don’t know what fate he would’ve chosen.
The irony is that after his impassioned speech bout breaking the tragic family tradition Dean’s final wish is “Remember what Dad taught you, remember what I taught you.” Unfortunately for Sam, while they have taught him much that is good, it is likely the lesson he will most remember is the one that cost them their lives.
The Freemonts in this episode are also isolated, cut off by Lilith, containing the extreme suffering and torment within this idyllic suburban home. We’ve seen other dysfunctional families before - Max Miller’s family where keeping abuse hidden had tragic consequences, and the Benders, whose isolation maintained their gruesome traditions.
What’s happening in with the Freemonts? They are suffering, and it is all due to a small child. This is what happens in many situations of sexual, emotional or physical abuse or just general family dysfunction - it is the child who is demonised (okay in this case the child literally is a demon, but go with me on the metaphor here!). The child is held responsible for her parents’ unhappiness or for her own abuse (it’s for your own good, you were asking for it, you need to learn a lesson). Isolation stops the child from knowing this is not how families are meant to work. In the finale, when the child’s mother is begging for Sam to kill her, the child is revealed to be just a child - innocent and not responsible for her family’s circumstance.
If this episode is saying anything about families, it’s that love alone isn’t enough. That families can become unhappy even when good people are involved. That families are hard work and painful and frustrating and sometimes, they will be the end of us.
We have spent three seasons now exploring the Winchester family. Unhappy? Sometimes. Dysfunctional? Certainly.
Isolation is a major factor in enabling dysfunction in a family. It has long been held as a major criticism of the nuclear family, and the breakdown of the extended family, enhanced post WW2 by the retreat to suburbia and breakdown in community. When isolated, what happens in the family is unchallenged and accepted as the norm. Whether by design or circumstance, isolation provides the hothouse where dysfunction and abuse can grow and continue. We see it in abusive relationships, or families, in isolated communities, or in extreme religions or cults.
The Winchesters certainly grew up isolated, from other people, from society - a by-product of John’s mission, and possibly paranoia. The boys had little contact with even the community, such as it is of hunters, such as that which existed at the Roadhouse. We know they had ongoing contact with a few people, in particularly Bobby.
“Family don't end with blood” says Bobby, but importantly he is not a part of the Winchester family, but an influential ally. I am not positing a Bobby=good father, John=bad father dichotomy- let’s not forget Bobby is also a revenge-driven, loner and hunter. But he is someone who provides an alternative influence to the Winchester way, although even at this point in his long relationship with the boys, it takes a strong effort for him to be heard by them.
In the finale, Dean tries to break the cycle of sacrifice, as martrydom as he calls it in this family. John sacrificed himself for Dean, but before that he’d sacrificed himself and the family, to his obsessive quest for vengeance for Mary’s murder. Sam we have seen after Jess’ death, and again in ‘Mystery Spot’, has soaked up this family tradition too. Dean of course sacrificed himself for Sam and now doesn’t want Sam to keep up this particular family tradition. He makes a distinction here, a very Winchester one. It’s okay to for him and Sam to ‘go down swinging’, but not, particularly for Sam, to play on the demons’ terms. We saw this also in ‘Jus in Belo’, and also way back in ‘Faith’, where Dean was also willing to accept a ‘normal’ death. He had a similar sort of choice in ‘In My Time of Dying’ but we don’t know what fate he would’ve chosen.
The irony is that after his impassioned speech bout breaking the tragic family tradition Dean’s final wish is “Remember what Dad taught you, remember what I taught you.” Unfortunately for Sam, while they have taught him much that is good, it is likely the lesson he will most remember is the one that cost them their lives.
The Freemonts in this episode are also isolated, cut off by Lilith, containing the extreme suffering and torment within this idyllic suburban home. We’ve seen other dysfunctional families before - Max Miller’s family where keeping abuse hidden had tragic consequences, and the Benders, whose isolation maintained their gruesome traditions.
What’s happening in with the Freemonts? They are suffering, and it is all due to a small child. This is what happens in many situations of sexual, emotional or physical abuse or just general family dysfunction - it is the child who is demonised (okay in this case the child literally is a demon, but go with me on the metaphor here!). The child is held responsible for her parents’ unhappiness or for her own abuse (it’s for your own good, you were asking for it, you need to learn a lesson). Isolation stops the child from knowing this is not how families are meant to work. In the finale, when the child’s mother is begging for Sam to kill her, the child is revealed to be just a child - innocent and not responsible for her family’s circumstance.
If this episode is saying anything about families, it’s that love alone isn’t enough. That families can become unhappy even when good people are involved. That families are hard work and painful and frustrating and sometimes, they will be the end of us.