Comments | metamorfic_moon: Traducis Pactum

jenulus in metamorfic_moon

Traducis Pactum

Feb 21, 2007 11:00

Title: Traducis Pactum
Author: Jenulus
Format: Fic
Ratings & Warnings: PG, maybe even a G. A swear word or two.
Prompts:Wand-writing, Dumbledore, Talk, Mystery/Suspense
Word Count: 3,766
Summary: "Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say." --Samuel Johnson
Author's Notes: SHEEZ. ( Read more... )

mystery/suspense, jenulus, lovers' moon fic jumble

Comments 27

Review doc_phoenix February 21 2007, 17:05:50 UTC

You've captured the characters quite well.
A Latin nitpick: "Traduco" is the verb form of "Lead," as far as I know. "Ducis" might be a more grammatically correct word to use. Althought it doesn't sound quite as good.

Re: Review jenulus February 21 2007, 17:11:03 UTC

I took a shot in the dark on the Latin... I'll be sure to make that change. Thanks for the help on that!

mrstater February 22 2007, 16:34:56 UTC

You know, while the thing I love most about R/T in canon is that we have just enough information to give us a skeletal timeline for them and yet tons of room to play in fanfic land, It's darn tricky to fill in the blank between the hospital scene robe-shaking and the pink-haired hand-holding at the funeral. Because, as this fic makes so clear, Remus and Tonks have a lot of bad that's happened between them, and simply saying, "I'm sorry, I've changed my mind" doesn't go nearly far enough to do the kind of restoration necessary for what we see at the funeral.

All that to say, I love your treatment of this "missing day". I've never really thought of anything about Dumbledore's successor coming up this soon after his death, but it makes sense that getting this sort of information would be of utmost importance to the Order as they war hasn't stalled just so they can go to a funeral. And given Fawkes' song, and the phoenix imagery of the funeral -- and then your very brilliant use of the King Arthur thing, which, in light of all that ( ... )

jenulus February 22 2007, 17:26:43 UTC

Thanks for such a great comment! I'm pleased you liked it, and especially so that you liked the King Arthur allusion. The one thing that kept coming back to me while I was writing was the parallel of Dumbledore's wand to the sword.

I'll definitely go back can change the 10s into tens... can't believe I did that. I agree with you on the ending. I was feeling the deadline pressure, and everything I had beyond my current last line just, quite simply, didn't work. I'll try again before I repost it anywhere else.

Thanks again!

anoipua February 22 2007, 17:26:18 UTC

Very nice. You did a nice job with the awkwardness that comes after such a monumental argument.

jenulus February 26 2007, 16:37:33 UTC

Thank you! I had hoped that the awkwardness would come through... huge fights and separations are rarely simply overcome, in my experience. I thought it would be fun to explore that a bit.

doc_phoenix February 22 2007, 19:22:29 UTC

I've been thanked! I feel so important!
Thank you for thanking me; I'm always happy to help.

devonwood February 23 2007, 00:36:53 UTC

I actually liked the dangling last line-- a bit of a cliffhanger, or the perfect spot to end a chapter before continuing on to the next. :)

I loved your use of the prompts, especially the wand-writing one. Lovely work. :D

jenulus February 26 2007, 16:40:20 UTC

Thanks! I'm still not quite in love with the end, but it was better to leave it hanging than smash some ending that didn't feel right to me. Gave me fits, really. I'm glad you liked the wand-writing; I was worried about that prompt. Thanks for the review!