Modern AU Depression - specific fic and recs

[bookwrm89]

The specific one I'm looking for has Merlin and Arthur living on the same residence hall and there's a party going on. Merlin walks into the bathroom and Arthur is there about to commit suicide. Merlin stays and talks to Arthur, not realizing what was about to happen. They eventually end up together, and Arthur starts seeing a therapist and

Comments

[moonflower999]

I hope you get a reply. I really want to read this. I have read a couple where Merlin is suicidal, and also at least 2 where he is institutionalized. One had a happy ending. I'll have to look for the link.

The other was one of the most depressing things I've ever read...Uther catches Arthur and Merlin in a compromising position and forces Merlin into an institution. No happy ending. I'd have to look for it, but I'm a little afraid to recommend it...it's well done, but utterly devastating. And actually, Merlin isn't even mentally ill...just being treated as if he is to 'cure' his gayness/keep him away from Arthur.

I've also read a wonderful story..have to remember the name, where they are in high school, and Arthur has slept with everyone. He and Merlin get involved, and though he loves Merlin, he can't help screwing around and hurts Merlin's feelings. Arthur finally starts seeing the school counselor to deal with his issues/behavior. It's not a big part of the story, but I thought it was an important part.

[schweet_heart]

Pretty sure that second one you mentioned is The Only Moment We Were Alone, which, LBR, crushes the hearts of everyone who comes into contact with it, lol, so read at your own risk.

I know the one the OP mentions, but I haven't found it in my bookmarks yet. Another good one for the angst is No Loyal Knight and True, but again, only read it if you have tissues handy. How to Save a Life deals with the aftermath of suicide, but it's still currently a WIP (I know the writer and they're in the middle of another fic rn, so idk if they have plans to get back to it...I live in hope).

I...can probably come up with some other recs, if I go hunting for them. I'll be back ;)

[moonflower999]

Yes, you're right. It was The Only Moment We Were Alone, and might be one of the most devastating fics i've ever read. I'd only read it again if I needed to sob for hours.

[schweet_heart]

Same here ;_;

[xancredible]

There are at least three canon AU fics I remember where Merlin was suicidal. Two have got a happy ending, the other not. I don't remember their titles, unfortunately

[lalnadawn]

These fics sound really good! I hope you can find them and post the links. :)

[xancredible]

I found them. Check the links in my other comment.

[xancredible]

Okay, so I found the one with the Belladonna poison.

It's You Cannot Leave Me Behind by nyxelestia.

If you check this page on tumblr, there are a couple more fics that might fit your criteria.

I also remembered this fic: The Wasting Game. I had to check for the tags, but yeah, suicidal thoughts are listed. Merlin develops an eating disorder.

Breaking Point by tailor 31415 is the one in which Merlin tries to kill himself but fails because of his immortality.

You can check this page on another tumblr for more relevant fics.

Also: The third one, where Arthur kills Merlin and leaves him to die is not a suicide fic. It's a magic reveal gone bad fic. It's called Pining for the Moon, written by EveryPeachPearPlum. It's got a happy ending.

[dvigano10]

Hi! Coincidentally I have just finished reading a fic by Ultra_geek "Standing On the Edge of Forever" and its companion "The Other Side of the Edge". They are not on ao3, and teh genre is pre-slash, I fuond them very poignant.... ah I fuond the link https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7013123/1/Standing-on-the-Edge-of-Forever
This author has a particolar knack in making our poor Merlin suffer so I can reccomend his/her fics.

[bookwrm89]

I found the specific one I was looking for, it's called Before I Go To Sleep by hereticalvision

Looks like I should probably edit my request to happy endings only LOL I'll definitely not be reading any "soul-crushing" stories. Thanks for the recs! I'm looking forward to reading them, especially canon era ones. Seeing how depression is handled in Camelot will be interesting.

[ext_4137531]

I have a few:

Crystal Clear by msdare
Summary: Merlin's practically done for tonight, but this last cubicle needs to be cleaned, and the junior manager occupying it is still working, even though it’s way past 9:00 p.m. Merlin should probably just dust around him or ask him to move, but the problem is that talking to people tends to make Merlin lose it. And Merlin really doesn't need to fall apart before the end of his shift.

The New Normal by GeekLover
Summary: When Arthur returns, his first mission is to find Merlin. But after a misunderstanding that gets Arthur sent to a mental hospital that mission has to be put on hold...or does it? When Arthur finds Merlin at the mental hospital he thinks that part of the mission is over, but it's really just beginning.

No Such Thing As a Quick Fix by Deminos
Summary: Modern AU. Mental patient Merlin Emrys intrigues Arthur Pendragon to no end. The goal was to do his internship and be done with it but before he knew it Arthur had already fallen in more ways than one. Happy ending thank god.

[bookwrm89]

Thank you! Those sound great!

[ext_4137531]

No problem. :)