[FIC] That’s What Servants Are For - Part I (Arthur/Merlin; R)
Author/Artist/Vidder: Anon
Title: That’s What Servants Are For
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Merlin/Arthur, original characters
Rating: R
Summary: When Arthur and Merlin head out of Camelot to the neighboring kingdom of Cambia, Arthur is more than a little surprised by some of their strange customs especially when one of those customs has him sharing a bed with Merlin. Now Arthur finds himself facing feelings for Merlin that he never knew he had. When he finally realizes the true extent of his feelings, it may be too late as another man makes a play for Merlin.
Warnings (if any): None
Total Word Count/Length: 15,493
Original prompt number: 44 - Submitted by andiwould
Disclaimer: This story/artwork is based on characters and situations created and owned by the BBC and Shine TV. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's/Artist's/Vidder's notes (if any): None
Beta(s): Special thanks to my beta who did quick work and who will be revealed when the story is no longer anonymous.
( Read on AO3 )
Merlin opened his mouth to speak but Arthur hushed him instantly.
“Merlin, I swear if you ask me one more time if we’re any closer I’m going to tie up the horse and make you walk the rest of the way.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “You’d never do that…to the horse.”
Arthur glanced down at the beautiful white horse he sat atop. “You’re right; unlike you this horse is actually good at its job.”
Merlin gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on the horses’ reins. Arthur had been in a foul mood ever since they set out on this trip. They were headed to the kingdom of Cambia to work on negotiating who had rightful claim of the lands surrounding the fallen kingdom of Daobeth. This would be the first extended trip Arthur took out of Camelot as king.
Merlin knew very well how much Arthur abhorred long boring meetings but from what Merlin had heard, Arthur and Cambia’s ruler Lord Kay had a somewhat friendly history, so Merlin wasn’t sure why Arthur was so agitated.
Merlin looked over at Arthur. “If I’m such a nuisance, why did you insist on me coming along on this trip? Wouldn’t they have provided you with all the servants you would need?”
Arthur glared at Merlin. “As much as I would have loved to give you days off so you can laze about at the tavern wasting more time than you usually do, and while your skill set may be limited, I trust you more than any servant Lord Kay would provide.”
Despite the insult, Merlin smiled. “Are you and Lord Kay on friendly terms?”
Arthur nodded. “Other than this one issue, which I’m sure we’ll settle this week, I would say Camelot and Cambia are great allies.”
“I didn’t ask about Camelot and Cambia, I asked about you and Lord Kay?”
Arthur narrowed his eyes, holding himself even more rigid on the horse. “Not that it’s really any of your concern, but Lord Kay and I get along well. We’re not the great friends my father and his were. My father and Lord Ector were more like brothers.”
“I’d heard that Uther saved his life.”
Arthur smiled proudly. “Yes. Cambia was attacked and Lord Ector fled to Camelot desperate for aid. My father was very generous and gave him refuge and helped Lord Ector take back his land.”
“When was the last time you saw Lord Kay?”
Arthur pondered this. “It’s been awhile. I think the last time they were in Camelot I was fourteen. Lord Kay was a bit annoying, very unusual.”
“Unusual how?” Merlin asked as he steered his horse around a large puddle.
“He just complained about everything. He didn’t like having the servants look after him. He insisted on helping the servants with everything.”
“A royal who treats servants with kindness, what is the world coming to?” Merlin teased. He watched Arthur out of the corner of his eye. The icy stare Arthur shot him almost caused him to chuckle, but Merlin held it in valiantly.
They rode for a few minutes in silence.
“So how much longer is it?”
“Merlin!”
~*~
Luckily for Merlin, Arthur was far too tired to make good on his threat to make Merlin walk the rest of the way. They weren’t far from Cambia. Arthur would never admit it to Merlin but his body ached, his arse was sore, and he thought he could eat a week’s worth of food. After arriving, he hoped that Lord Kay wouldn’t want to catch up right away and he could just go to his room, where he would have Merlin draw him a bath and then he would sleep.
As they approached the castle, Arthur noted that while not exactly small, it had fewer columns and turrets than Camelot, and didn’t quite have Camelot’s scale or look as regal. He could see Lord Kay standing in front of the castle. Arthur was a bit surprised that there weren’t quite as many people with Lord Kay as he would have expected, but it was fairly late.
They approached Lord Kay and his men. They were dressed similarly to the knights of Camelot except their robes were green. Kay greeted Arthur with a big smile. Arthur thought Kay looked slightly different than the last time he’d seen him. He was at least three inches taller and a bit bulkier, though he wasn’t fat by any means. Lord Kay ran his hand through his short brown hair as he walked up to greet Arthur and Merlin.
Arthur and Merlin quickly dismounted their horses. Arthur smiled at the approaching noblemen. “Lord Kay.”
“King Arthur.” Lord Kay smiled. Instead of shaking Arthur’s hand he gave Arthur a quick hug.
Arthur stiffened slightly, but patted the man on the back quickly before extricating himself from the embrace. “You’re taller than I remember.”
Kay grinned. “You’re not.”
Arthur could hear Merlin snort in the background. He slowly turned to the other man. Merlin pursed his lips tightly.
Kay looked over at Merlin. His eyebrows lifted and eyed Merlin for several seconds.
Arthur became a bit unsettled, unsure why Lord Kay was looking at Merlin with such fascination. Arthur cleared his throat.
Lord Kay looked over briefly at Arthur before turning his gaze back to Merlin. “This must be your servant.”
“Yes, that’s Merlin.”
Merlin came over and bowed to Lord Kay. “Milord.”
Kay walked over and shook Merlin’s hand.
Arthur would have laughed at how Merlin’s eyes bulged if he wasn’t so tired.
Kay walked back to Arthur. “You’re very lucky, Arthur.”
Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Lucky?”
Kay pointed towards Merlin. “He’s quite beautiful.”
“Beautiful?” Arthur sputtered. He looked back at Merlin, whose cheeks were reddening at an alarming rate. “There are a lot of words I would use to describe Merlin and beautiful is not one of them.”
Lord Kay bit his lip, looking a bit bemused. He looked over at the men standing next to him. “I’m sorry. I haven’t made the proper introductions.” He clapped the tall blonde man next to him on the shoulder. “This is Sir Tor.” He gestured to the second man, slightly shorter with medium-length brown hair. “And that is Sir Gareth. They are two of my finest knights.”
Arthur shook each of their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
Kay then looked over at a skinny boy to his right. He put his arm around him. “This is my servant, John.”
The younger man bowed to Arthur.
Arthur tried not to stare at the way Kay was holding him. He had yet to move his arm from around his servant and was caressing the boy’s shoulder. “Hello.”
Merlin walked over and stood beside Arthur. Arthur’s gaze fell to him. Merlin was staring at Kay and John, too.
Arthur coughed. “Merlin will help John unload the horses.”
Lord Kay finally took his arm from around John. “That won’t be necessary. John will take care of your things while I show you to your room.”
“Are you sure?” Arthur asked.
Lord Kay nodded. “John can handle it. I assure you he’s much stronger than he looks.” He winked at John. The teenager laughed as he walked away.
Lord Kay, Sir Tor, and Sir Gareth walked away. Arthur shook his head. Lord Kay was certainly still as strange as Arthur remembered.
~*~
“I hope you find your room acceptable.” Lord Kay said as they reached the door.
Arthur nodded. “I’m sure I will.”
The room looked very similar to Arthur’s own chambers, except bigger. The room was decorated in various shades of white and yellow. Arthur found it a bit girlish, but it would do for a few days.
Kay nodded to Merlin. “What do you think?”
Merlin’s eyes widened a bit and he looked caught off-guard. “It’s very nice.”
“Splendid. I hope you’ll be comfortable here.”
Arthur noticed that Kay addressed his comment to Merlin. “Why would Merlin’s opinion matter?”
Lord Kay pursed his lips. “I see you haven’t changed. The comfort of your servants may not matter to you, but it’s a great deal of importance to me. This is Merlin’s room as well and-”
“Excuse me?” Arthur interrupted Lord Kay’s tirade, stepping closer to the man.
“Merlin’s opinion matters-”
Arthur interrupted him again. “I heard that part. What did you mean by this is Merlin’s room to?”
Kay rocked back on his heels as he eyed Arthur carefully. “I realize this isn’t the way it’s done in Camelot, but I assumed that’s why you brought Merlin here? You don’t have to be ashamed, Arthur. You and Merlin can share a bed here, it’s no trouble.”
Arthur just blinked at the man slowly. His mind was spinning. “Bed...” He looked over at Merlin, who was also staring in disbelief. He pointed at him. “Bed...Merlin?!”
Kay ogled Merlin. “Yes.”
Arthur’s shock momentarily subsided as his insides churned at the way Kay continued to stare at Merlin. Arthur stepped in front of Merlin, blocking Kay’s view. “I would never share a bed with Merlin.” Arthur shuddered. “That’s just insane. He’s my servant.”
Kay’s countenance changed from a leer for Merlin to a hard glare for Arthur. “Servants share a bed with the nobleman here quite frequently. That is the way it is done in our kingdom. I’m sorry if that displeases you.”
Arthur could see that Lord Kay took offense at his outburst. Arthur knew he had to tread carefully. It would not be wise to antagonize someone he had to enter into negotiations with the next day.
At that moment, John arrived with Arthur’s things. Merlin moved to help the young man but John shook his head. Merlin sighed and went back to stand beside Arthur. “Lord Kay, if I may say something?” Lord Kay nodded. “I don’t mean any disrespect to your kingdom’s traditions but Arthur and I-”
Arthur pressed a hand to Merlin’s chest to get him to stop talking. “Merlin, it’s alright. While we are in Cambia, we’ll honor their traditions.”
Kay stared at Arthur for a moment. “Are you sure, sire? I wouldn’t want to force you to do anything that goes against your high moral standards.”
Arthur smiled tightly. “No one forces me to do anything; you know that, Lord Kay.”
Kay clapped his hands together. “Wonderful!” He walked over to stand directly in front of Arthur. “I’ll let you get your rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Looking forward to it.”
Kay swiveled and faced Merlin. “It’s been very nice to meet you, Merlin. I look forward to seeing more of you tomorrow.” He took Merlin’s hand and held it between his for a moment. Merlin squirmed a little before Kay released his hand and walked out with John trailing behind him.
Merlin turned to Arthur. “I’m really surprised, Arthur. I never thought you would actually agree to share a bed with me.”
Arthur turned to face him, his eyebrows skyrocketing atop his forehead.
Merlin hung his head. “Of course not. I get to sleep on the floor.”
Arthur clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re smarter than I give you credit for.”
~*~
Arthur rolled his eyes heavenward. Merlin was trying to be quiet, but the sound of his constant squirming and turning on the ground was not letting Arthur get any sleep. Merlin was used to sleeping on less than ideal surfaces, so Arthur didn’t anticipate Merlin having such a problem. Arthur had even been nice enough to give him a pillow. He heard Merlin mumble something and sat up. Wonderful! Who talks in their sleep?
Finally, Arthur had enough. He threw his pillow over at Merlin.
“Huh?” Merlin muttered.
“It pains me to say this, Merlin but I think you should get in this bed.”
Merlin’s head popped over the top of the bed. Arthur almost laughed. Merlin looked so bewildered and almost cute. And Arthur had no idea where that thought came from.
“What? Are you sure?” Merlin asked.
“Merlin, I won’t say it again. Stay on the floor or get in the bed, it’s your choice.” Arthur flopped back down on the pillow.
Arthur could hear Merlin’s slow shuffling footsteps trudging forward. He felt the dip in the bed. Arthur felt his body tensing. He wiped his hands down on the bed. He kept his eyes closed. “Merlin?”
“Yes?”
“I’d advise you to stay on the edge of the bed. If any part of you touches me, be prepared to lose that part.” Arthur warned. Merlin didn’t say anything. Arthur just heard him gulp.
~*~
Arthur woke up to two intense blue eyes staring down at him. He blinked the sleep and confusion from his eyes and realized it was Merlin. He tried to slide away from him but Merlin was hovering above him, his arms on both sides of him trapping Arthur in place.
“Merlin, for your sake I hope you’re still asleep because if not-”
“Shh!” Merlin whispered.
Arthur’s eyes focused on Merlin’s face. Clearly it was Merlin, but he looked different to Arthur somehow. He’d never seen Merlin look so focused. His gaze never wavered from Arthur’s.His blue eyes were hypnotizing.
Merlin’s hand slid up Arthur’s thigh. “Arthur, let me do this for you. You don’t have to deny yourself this.”
“Merlin, have you-have you lost your senses completely?” Arthur’s voice faltered. He made a move to take Merlin’s hand from his thigh, but he paused. He kept his hand atop Merlin’s.
Merlin smiled. It wasn’t his usual radiant and friendly smile. This one was predatory and carnal. It stirred a deep lust within Arthur. Merlin buried his nose in Arthur’s neck. “I want you, Arthur.” He looked up and gazed into Arthur’s eyes. “Do you want me, Arthur?”
“Merlin...” Arthur’s throat was dry. He could barely speak. Arthur slid Merlin’s hand towards crotch.
“I need to hear it, Arthur. Please tell me.” Merlin pleaded.
“Merlin...”
“Yes.”
“Merlin, I...”
Arthur’s eyes sprang open. He was panting. Without moving his head, he quickly glanced over at Merlin who was still sound asleep. He had his back turned to Arthur.
Arthur threw a hand over his eyes and tried to control his breathing. This was the third time he’d had this dream, though usually in the dream, he did remove Merlin’s hand from his thigh, he didn’t move the hand to his...Arthur shook his head. He didn’t even want to think about where he guided Merlin’s hand to in his dream.
Arthur didn’t know why he was having those dreams. He was not attracted to Merlin. Other than in his dreams, he didn’t think of Merlin as a sexual being. It was the furthest thing from his mind. And yet the dream kept happening. And he always felt incredibly aroused afterwards. Arthur didn’t even need to look down to realize he was rock hard. Usually he would take care of the situation, but he couldn’t do that with Merlin next to him. With the state he was in, he couldn’t hope to remain quiet.
Arthur just rolled over, his back to Merlin, and hoped all of his blood would return to his brain soon.
~*~
Merlin knew he should get up. Whether in Camelot or not, he still had servant duties to perform. He knew Arthur would yell himself hoarse if he saw Merlin still in bed. But Merlin wanted to take a few more moments to lie in bed. This was the most comfortable bed he'd ever slept in.
Lying beside Arthur all night was a challenge. On the one hand, Merlin found the idea of sleeping in the same bed as Arthur heavenly. But in practice, it was torture. Merlin did a great job of hiding the true nature of his feelings for Arthur when they were home. He focused on his chores. And constantly having to worry about keeping Arthur safe, didn't leave a lot of time for Merlin to dwell on the overwhelming tender feelings he had for Arthur.
But here in Cambia, he wouldn't have those distractions and Merlin thought he might go insane having to share a bed with Arthur for days. He kept himself tightly coiled last night, his back turned to Arthur in case he had any involuntary bodily reactions.
Merlin slowly started to open one eye to get a peek at Arthur. He could see that Arthur was asleep or it seemed Arthur was, since his back was turned to him. Merlin was about to close his eye when he saw something move just to the corner of his line of sight. He opened one eye and gasped loudly. He skittered backwards and almost fell off the bed.
Arthur shot up in bed, his hand reaching the non-existent sword by his hip, before he had even opened his eyes. When he opened his eyes, he recoiled in surprise.
"John, what are you doing here?" Arthur screeched.
John held out his hand, his head bowed. "I am so sorry, sire. I did not mean to startle you or Merlin."
Merlin just goggled at him, still getting over his surprise.
"Lord Kay just wanted to assure that you and Merlin had breakfast as soon as possible."
Arthur looked behind John to the table in the center of the room. There was enough food on there for three days.
"Th-thank you." Arthur cleared his throat.
John bowed again. "I hope you and Merlin enjoy it."
Arthur wiped at his face. "Yes, thank..." He trailed off. "Wait, Merlin?"
John nodded. "Yes. Breakfast is for both you and Merlin."
"Now we're supposed to have breakfast together as well?" Arthur muttered.
John cocked his head to the side. "Excuse me?"
Arthur waved him off. "Never mind. Thank you."
John smiled. He gave Merlin a little wave, which made Merlin chuckle a bit. "Merlin, Lord Kay has requested that I ask you, if you wouldn't mind assisting the other servants with preparations for the feast?"
Arthur snorted loudly. "You don't need to ask Merlin's permission. What else is he going to do all day?"
Merlin ignored Arthur and addressed John. "I'll be delighted to help."
John nodded his head rapidly. "Splendid." John grinned once more at Merlin and left.
Merlin turned to Arthur. "I assume you won't be having breakfast with me. You'll expect me to forage for food elsewhere."
Merlin was surprised when Arthur actually laughed.
Arthur shook his head as he sighed. "No, Merlin. I think I can survive having breakfast with you for a few days."
Merlin smiled briefly before getting up and walking to the table. He started piling his plate high with grapes, cheeses, and ham. He hadn't realized how famished he was until he had sat down.
He looked up to see Arthur standing by the chair directly in front of him. One of Arthur's eyebrows was raised in a perfect imitation of Gaius.
Merlin looked between the food and Arthur his brow furrowing.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Merlin I can understand your confusion, thanks to Lord Kay's over generous and odd behavior, but you're still my servant. That means you serve me before helping yourself."
Merlin hastily wiped his hands on a napkin. "Sorry, sire.”
As Merlin got up, Arthur finally sat down. Merlin served him bread, eggs, and ham. Merlin sat down and waited for Arthur to start eating before he tore into his breakfast. They ate mostly in silence, an occasional slurp from Merlin punctuating the silence. Every once and awhile Arthur would look up and stare at him, his nose crinkling in distaste.
As Merlin popped a grape into his mouth and studied Arthur surreptitiously. Arthur would stare into space when he wasn’t eating. If Merlin didn’t know Arthur so well, he might not have recognized the signs, but Merlin did know Arthur and he could see that Arthur was unsettled. He kept fidgeting and he’d never seen Arthur have such a focus on watching his food as he ate. Merlin desperately wanted to know what was going on in Arthur’s head.
Merlin cleared his throat. “How did you sleep?”
Arthur shook his head before looking up at Merlin. He didn’t seem to know what Merlin had asked.
“I asked how did you sleep?”
“Just fine.” Arthur said in a clipped tone.
Merlin stared at the table, wringing his hands. He plastered a smile to his face and gazed at Arthur. “Any interesting dreams?”
Arthur’s head popped up so fast, Merlin was sure he must have sprained something. His eyes practically bulged out of his head. “Why? Did I say anything in my sleep?”
“No...”Merlin trailed off.
“Because if you heard anything you probably misinterpreted it. Your brain isn’t working at full capacity when you’re awake, you couldn’t trust anything you heard when you were half asleep.”
“I didn’t hear anything, Arthur.”
“Of course you didn’t, because there was nothing to hear. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t dream anything. Arthur gritted out.
Merlin nodded slowly. “Alright. Arthur, are you sure you’re-”
“Merlin, please stop talking.” Arthur got up. “We have a lot to do today. I need to get dressed.”
Merlin got up immediately. But Arthur held out his hand stopping Merlin’s forward movement.
“I can get dressed on my own.” He walked off without another word.
Merlin had a snarky retort on the tip of his tongue, but thought better of it. Merlin took a deep breath. He tried to hold on to the increasingly unlikely hope that Arthur’s mood would improve over the next few days.
~*~
Arthur had not been looking forward to negotiations with Lord Kay, but he welcomed the distraction that morning, anything to get away from Merlin and thoughts of him. Arthur wasn’t sure of it was the misunderstanding last night, or the usual contentiousness over the land, but Lord Kay seemed to be in less good spirits than yesterday. He became even more cross when Arthur rejected his idea to share the land around Daobeth.
Still unable to reach an agreement they decided to suspend negotiations for the day. They had to get ready for the feast Lord Kay was having for Arthur. Arthur hoped that cooler heads would prevail tomorrow.
Lord Kay invited Arthur along to check on preparations for the feast. As they walked, Arthur noticed Lord Kay watching him from time to time. Arthur soon became annoyed and unnerved. “Do you have something you wish to say?”
Lord Kay pursed his lips. He seemed to be mulling over whether to open his mouth to speak. Finally he sighed. “With all due respect to Uther, I had hoped that without his influence you may have changed. But you’re still so rigid and, might I say, a bit boring.”
Arthur shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. “I’m not boring. Is this how you behave when all your negotiations go poorly?”
"This has nothing to do with negotiations and more to do with you insisting on clinging to old traditions."
"And to what traditions are you referring?"
"You needn't deny yourself something that would make you happy and give you pleasure, just because it is not what is normally done." Lord Kay explained with some urgency in his voice. This was clearly something he felt passionate about.
Arthur was about to respond, but waited until two serving girls passed them by. The two girls stopped their chattering when they saw Arthur and Lord Kay. They bowed their heads in deference as they hurriedly passed. Arthur turned to Lord Kay. "I'm not sure what gives you the impression that I lack for any happiness in my life."
"Forgive me for saying so, Sire, but I was thinking of Merlin."
As if on cue they opened the doors to the banquet hall at that moment and heard a boisterous laugh coming from Merlin. Arthur instantly spotted Merlin who was smiling up at Sir Gareth. Arthur couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Merlin laugh like that. As the knight talked, Merlin regarded the man with wondrous eyes and laughed loudly when Sir Gareth finished speaking.
Lord Kay appeared beside Arthur. How can you not see it?”
Arthur continued stare at Merlin. “See what?”
“Merlin is a beautiful man. His eyes are captivating. They’re a blue I’ve never seen before. They’re even better than yours.”
Arthur swiveled his head sharply, scowling at the smirk on Lord Kay’s face.
“And those lips...” Lord Kay sighed deeply. “I, honestly, don’t understand how you keep your hands off him.”
Arthur swallowed. “Trust me it’s easy, believe me. He’s a servant and he’s a man...”
“This is what I was referring to when I said you were too rigid. You’re King now Arthur. I understand your sense of duty and tradition, but and it’s very admirable. My father was the same way. He was a magnificent ruler, but at home he had no joy in his life. I don’t want that for myself. I want to be happy. If I want someone, and they want me in return, why shouldn’t I have them?”
Arthur wouldn’t respond to Lord Kay. He did have to admit to himself that there was some measure of sanity to what Lord Kay was saying. But that didn’t mean he Merlin was what was going to make him happy. He did not want to bed his servant.
“Do you truly have no attraction to Merlin?” Lord Kay asked.
Arthur stared long and hard at Merlin. With a steely gaze, he turned to look at Lord Kay. “None.”
When Arthur looked forward again, Merlin turned to him with a wonderful smile on his face that dipped a little when he met Arthur’s eyes. Merlin’s gaze traveled to Arthur’s right. His smile perked up again. Arthur turned to see Lord Kay grinning at Arthur. Once again Arthur felt a churning bitterness in his chest when he saw the way Lord Kay was looking at Merlin.
Arthur needed to put a stop to this. He might not want Merlin, but he would be damned if Lord Kay took advantage of him.
~*~
Everyone was in high spirits that evening. There was lots of laughter, lively conversation, and the food was exquisite. The only one who didn’t seem to be enjoying the festivities was the supposed guest of honor. Arthur stared straight ahead, his scowl deepening before he took another sip from his goblet. It was a good think John was actually proficient at his job or Arthur’s cup would be empty. Merlin had barely been by his side all night. Though for once, Arthur really couldn’t blame Merlin. It was Lord Kay who was keeping Merlin from his duties.
Lord Kay spent most of the evening trotting Merlin around to everyone in the room. He was showing Merlin off as if he was some treasured prize. He kept flirting with Merlin and to Arthur’s surprise and chagrin, Merlin was flirting back. Lord Kay kept touching Merlin “innocently” everywhere he could find. His hands found their way on Merlin’s forearm, his shoulder, his cheek, the back of his head. When he leaned in to whisper in Merlin’s ear, Arthur practically dented the goblet in his hand. When Merlin and Kay walked closer to Arthur’s table, Arthur stood up. “Merlin, could I have a word?”
Arthur’s mouth dropped open when Merlin paid him no heed. Had the idiot gone deaf? “MERLIN!” Arthur was satisfied when Merlin practically jumped and hustled over to Arthur.
Kay turned and gave Arthur a charming smile, but Arthur could see a hint of impatience behind his eyes.
“Do you need me for something, sire?”
“Of course I need you for something. Do you think I just called you over here because I missed your company?”
Merlin barely concealed his eyes rolling heavenward. Merlin looked at him expectantly.
Arthur realized he had no idea what he wanted to say. He needed to come up with something, normally he could have a list of a hundred things for Merlin to do without breaking a sweat, but his mind was a blank at the moment. He would have asked for more to drink but his goblet was full.
“I...I need...”
Merlin raised his eyebrows.
“I need you to make sure my bed’s not too cold.” He blurted out. He immediately shut his eyes, and mentally slapped himself.
“I don’t understand. You want me to warm your bed?”
“Right...NO!” Arthur shouted. Everyone turned to stare. Arthur gritted his teeth. “That’s not what I meant. I had a difficult time sleeping last night because it was too cold in the room. I want you to make sure that the room is properly heated this time.”
“It felt alright to me.”
“Yes, and clearly your opinion is the only one that matters.”
Merlin pursed his lips. “Okay, I’ll speak to Lord Kay about that.”
He started to leave, but Arthur grabbed his hand. “Why are you so eager to run off?”
Merlin shrugged. “I thought you would want this taken care of immediately.”
“Yes. But since when do you care about that?”
Merlin smiled broadly. “You know me, Arthur. I live to serve you.” He quickly got away from Arthur’s grasp and went over to talk to Lord Kay.
Arthur huffed slightly at Merlin’s quick escape. After a few minutes, Lord Kay walked over and sat down next to Arthur. “Merlin told me you had some complaints...”
“Not complaints, concerns.” Arthur interrupted.
“I assured Merlin that everything will be taken care of. I want to make sure your stay here is comfortable.”
Arthur smiled thinly. “I appreciate that.”
“Do you like the music?” Lord Kay asked, pointing to the musicians playing the flute and the violin at the front of the room.
Arthur nodded. “It’s very nice.”
Lord Kay smiled. “I was thinking of asking Merlin to join me in a dance.”
Arthur almost choked on the ale he’d just drunk. He coughed and stared at Lord Kay. “Merlin doesn’t know how to dance.”
Lord Kay looked at him with wide eyes. “I would say that he does quite beautifully. I danced with him today.”
Arthur’s mouth dropped open. “When was that?”
“Earlier this afternoon. You’d retired to your room to read. Merlin was done with his duties for the day and we started to talk. I told him that I was a rubbish dancer and he showed me a dance that he knew.” Lord Kay looked up and smiled. “I was just telling Arthur about your dancing.”
Arthur turned, his mouth still hanging open slightly, and saw Merlin standing in front of him. Arthur’s mouth closed with a snap. He looked Merlin up and down briefly. “You know how to dance.”
Merlin chuckled. “Yes.”
“Why did I not know that you know how to dance?”
Merlin looked down at his feet. “Probably because you never bothered to ask.”
Arthur was surprised at the bitter tinge to Merlin’s words. Before he could say another word, Lord Kay stood up.
Lord Kay held out his hand to Merlin. “Would you care to dance?”
Merlin’s eyes trailed over to Arthur for a second and then he took Lord Kay’s hand. “I’d be delighted.”
Arthur watched them walk out to the middle of the room. Soon after they started to dance, more people joined them. Arthur couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Lord Kay and Merlin weren’t the only two men dancing together. Sir Tor and another servant were dancing closely as well. Arthur looked over to his left and saw Sir Gareth and John huddled close together by a pillar. Sir Gareth was whispering intimately in John’s ear. No one seemed to notice or care. It was all perfectly...normal. The world wasn’t falling in on itself and people weren’t rioting in the streets. Whatever Lord Kay was doing seemed to be working for him and the citizens of Cambia.
Arthur looked at Lord Kay and Merlin once again, and thought back to what Lord Kay had said to him earlier. Why shouldn’t he have what he truly wanted?
~*~
Arthur ended up leaving the feast fairly early. He couldn’t stand watching Lord Kay stuck to Merlin’s side and plied Merlin with alcohol. He could have put a stop to it if he wanted, but he decided to let Merlin have some fun. Arthur undressed and got into bed. Shortly afterward, Merlin walked in, or rather he stumbled in.
Merlin looked a bit startled to see Arthur in bed. “You left the feast early.”
“Can’t get anything by you, Merlin.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. He walked towards the bed, swaying at times. He looked around the darkened room. “Is everything to your satisfaction, milord?”
“Yes.”
“The temperature of the room, the color of the sheets, the number of stars in the sky...” Merlin grinned.
“There’s the cheeky bugger I know and...”
“What’s that?”
Arthur cleared his throat. “Never mind. Everything’s fine, Merlin.”
“Good.” Merlin nodded.
Arthur averted his eyes as Merlin undressed. Though Arthur couldn’t help sneaking a few glances at Merlin. He covered his mouth to hide a snicker when he saw Merlin struggling to remove his shirt. It took Merlin three tries before he got the garment over his head. He then took several minutes to struggle into his sleep shirt. After that he didn’t bother removing his pants. He just collapsed into bed.
Arthur looked over at Merlin and grinned. “Merlin, are you drunk?”
Merlin struggled to lift up his head. He looked at Arthur with crossed eyes. “I am not.”
Arthur nodded. “We’ll just see about that in the morning.”
Merlin grunted, closing his eyes.
Arthur stared at Merlin. Merlin had a cute little pout. Arthur wanted to ruffle Merlin’s hair. Arthur put his head in his hands, shaking his head furiously. Since when did he think of Merlin with words like “cute?”
He gazed at his servant again. His fingers itched to touch Merlin’s hair. He slid down in bed and closed his eyes. He tried going to sleep, but his mind was racing. After a few minutes he sat up again. “Merlin?” He nudged at him.
Merlin snuffled, but didn’t open his eyes.
Arthur nudged him again, this time a little harder. Merlin almost fell off the bed.
Merlin stopped himself from falling, grabbing onto the bed sheet and pulling himself back up. “What did you do that for?”
“Merlin, why didn’t you tell me you knew how to dance?”
Merlin groaned. “Why does it matter to you? There are lots of things you don’t know about me. I know how to juggle, too.”
Arthur’s head snapped back in surprise. “You know how to juggle? Merlin, you’re the clumsiest man on Earth, how can you juggle and dance?”
“Believe me I don’t do both at the same time.”
Arthur smiled. “I’ve known you for over four years and I should know these things.”
Merlin opened his eyes fully. He sat up slowly. “Arthur, it’s alright.” Merlin picked at the sheets. “I know that I’m just your servant and that you don’t really care about my life.”
Arthur felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. Merlin thought that he didn’t care? The thought made him physically sick. He wanted to argue with Merlin, but when he thought about it, he realized he’d given Merlin every reason to believe that.
Arthur moved closer to Merlin. “Merlin?” He waited for Merlin to look up. “The fact that you believe I don’t care about you is my failure and not yours. I am so sorry that I’ve given you reason to believe that. I know I can be...difficult...”
Merlin arched an eyebrow. “Difficult? I could think of a few other words for you.”
Arthur laughed. “Like condescending and supercilious?”
Merlin smiled, though he got a faraway look in his eyes soon after. “You remembered.”
Arthur nodded. “Yes. I do remember the things you say to me, Merlin. What you say does matter to me. You’re not just my servant, but you’re also my friend. I thought you knew that.”
Merlin shrugged. “It’s really hard to know sometimes.”
Arthur sighed. “I know. But do you think I would let just anyone talk to me the way you do? Or take just a servant’s advice. I wouldn’t have gone to Ealdor for just anyone.”
Merlin shook his head. “Yes, you would have. That is the kind of person you are. You can’t just sit back and allow someone to be taken advantage of. That’s what makes you a good person and a good king.”
Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his. “Merlin, I did it for you.”
Merlin looked down at their joined hands. “When Morgana and Gwen told me they wanted to help, it wasn’t a surprise. They were so brave and I was so grateful to them. But I knew deep down that it wouldn’t really help. I was still so scared for my mother. I didn’t know what I could do to help her. I came up with a lot of crazy plans that I knew would never work. My mother needed me and I felt helpless.” Merlin squeezed Arthur’s hand. “Until you came. The minute I saw you, I knew everything would be alright.”
Arthur ran a thumb across the back of Merlin’s hand. “Where does all of your faith in me come from?”
The corner of Merlin’s mouth twitched. “I told you, Arthur. I believe in your destiny and you’ve never proven me wrong.”
Arthur swallowed thickly. He stared down at his and Merlin’s hands. It should feel wrong and inappropriate to be holding Merlin like that, but something about it felt right.
Merlin slowly pulled his hand away from Arthur’s. He laid back on the bed. He stared up into Arthur’s eyes.
Arthur slowly laid down, facing Merlin. They never broke eye contact. “Merlin, tell me about your life in Ealdor. Tell me about Will.”
Merlin smiled.
Merlin and Arthur talked for hours Merlin told him about some of the troubles he’d gotten into at Ealdor. Merlin mentioned accidentally chopping down a neighbor’s tree. Arthur didn’t understand how he managed that, but hearing about some of his adventures, he wasn’t surprised Hunith had sent him to Camelot.
Merlin told him all about Will, about the kind and funny young man Arthur really didn’t get to meet. Merlin spoke of him with such fondness; Arthur remembered once again the sadness of Will’s death.
Arthur felt it was only fair to reciprocate his own stories. Merlin wasn’t surprised to find out that Arthur was just as stubborn as a child as he was now. He was surprised to hear about some of the mischief Arthur got into. Arthur recalled with a smile how Uther seethed when an eight year old took one of the horses and left Camelot for an entire day, just to prove that he could survive on his own. He’d gotten severely punished for weeks, but he said it was completely worth it.
It wasn’t until light started to filter in through the windows that Arthur realized they had spent the entire night talking.
Merlin slowly sat up and stretched. “I can’t believe we didn’t sleep.”
Arthur sat up and got out of bed. He should feel more tired due to the lack of sleep, but he felt strangely energized. Part of him really wanted to stay in bed and keep talking to Merlin. But there were important things that needed to be done and there were things Arthur needed to think about. He turned to Merlin. “I’m starving.”
Merlin looked over at the table in the middle of the room. “I’m surprised John hasn’t brought up breakfast yet.” He turned to Arthur and grinned. “Perhaps I’ll finally get to do my job for once.”
“You miss tending to my every need?” Arthur teased slightly.
Merlin wrinkled. “I wouldn’t go that far.” But he smiled widely as he walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob. He turned back to Arthur. “Thank you for last night, Arthur. It’s good to know you really care.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.
Part II
Title: That’s What Servants Are For
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Merlin/Arthur, original characters
Rating: R
Summary: When Arthur and Merlin head out of Camelot to the neighboring kingdom of Cambia, Arthur is more than a little surprised by some of their strange customs especially when one of those customs has him sharing a bed with Merlin. Now Arthur finds himself facing feelings for Merlin that he never knew he had. When he finally realizes the true extent of his feelings, it may be too late as another man makes a play for Merlin.
Warnings (if any): None
Total Word Count/Length: 15,493
Original prompt number: 44 - Submitted by andiwould
Disclaimer: This story/artwork is based on characters and situations created and owned by the BBC and Shine TV. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's/Artist's/Vidder's notes (if any): None
Beta(s): Special thanks to my beta who did quick work and who will be revealed when the story is no longer anonymous.
( Read on AO3 )
Merlin opened his mouth to speak but Arthur hushed him instantly.
“Merlin, I swear if you ask me one more time if we’re any closer I’m going to tie up the horse and make you walk the rest of the way.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “You’d never do that…to the horse.”
Arthur glanced down at the beautiful white horse he sat atop. “You’re right; unlike you this horse is actually good at its job.”
Merlin gritted his teeth and tightened his grip on the horses’ reins. Arthur had been in a foul mood ever since they set out on this trip. They were headed to the kingdom of Cambia to work on negotiating who had rightful claim of the lands surrounding the fallen kingdom of Daobeth. This would be the first extended trip Arthur took out of Camelot as king.
Merlin knew very well how much Arthur abhorred long boring meetings but from what Merlin had heard, Arthur and Cambia’s ruler Lord Kay had a somewhat friendly history, so Merlin wasn’t sure why Arthur was so agitated.
Merlin looked over at Arthur. “If I’m such a nuisance, why did you insist on me coming along on this trip? Wouldn’t they have provided you with all the servants you would need?”
Arthur glared at Merlin. “As much as I would have loved to give you days off so you can laze about at the tavern wasting more time than you usually do, and while your skill set may be limited, I trust you more than any servant Lord Kay would provide.”
Despite the insult, Merlin smiled. “Are you and Lord Kay on friendly terms?”
Arthur nodded. “Other than this one issue, which I’m sure we’ll settle this week, I would say Camelot and Cambia are great allies.”
“I didn’t ask about Camelot and Cambia, I asked about you and Lord Kay?”
Arthur narrowed his eyes, holding himself even more rigid on the horse. “Not that it’s really any of your concern, but Lord Kay and I get along well. We’re not the great friends my father and his were. My father and Lord Ector were more like brothers.”
“I’d heard that Uther saved his life.”
Arthur smiled proudly. “Yes. Cambia was attacked and Lord Ector fled to Camelot desperate for aid. My father was very generous and gave him refuge and helped Lord Ector take back his land.”
“When was the last time you saw Lord Kay?”
Arthur pondered this. “It’s been awhile. I think the last time they were in Camelot I was fourteen. Lord Kay was a bit annoying, very unusual.”
“Unusual how?” Merlin asked as he steered his horse around a large puddle.
“He just complained about everything. He didn’t like having the servants look after him. He insisted on helping the servants with everything.”
“A royal who treats servants with kindness, what is the world coming to?” Merlin teased. He watched Arthur out of the corner of his eye. The icy stare Arthur shot him almost caused him to chuckle, but Merlin held it in valiantly.
They rode for a few minutes in silence.
“So how much longer is it?”
“Merlin!”
~*~
Luckily for Merlin, Arthur was far too tired to make good on his threat to make Merlin walk the rest of the way. They weren’t far from Cambia. Arthur would never admit it to Merlin but his body ached, his arse was sore, and he thought he could eat a week’s worth of food. After arriving, he hoped that Lord Kay wouldn’t want to catch up right away and he could just go to his room, where he would have Merlin draw him a bath and then he would sleep.
As they approached the castle, Arthur noted that while not exactly small, it had fewer columns and turrets than Camelot, and didn’t quite have Camelot’s scale or look as regal. He could see Lord Kay standing in front of the castle. Arthur was a bit surprised that there weren’t quite as many people with Lord Kay as he would have expected, but it was fairly late.
They approached Lord Kay and his men. They were dressed similarly to the knights of Camelot except their robes were green. Kay greeted Arthur with a big smile. Arthur thought Kay looked slightly different than the last time he’d seen him. He was at least three inches taller and a bit bulkier, though he wasn’t fat by any means. Lord Kay ran his hand through his short brown hair as he walked up to greet Arthur and Merlin.
Arthur and Merlin quickly dismounted their horses. Arthur smiled at the approaching noblemen. “Lord Kay.”
“King Arthur.” Lord Kay smiled. Instead of shaking Arthur’s hand he gave Arthur a quick hug.
Arthur stiffened slightly, but patted the man on the back quickly before extricating himself from the embrace. “You’re taller than I remember.”
Kay grinned. “You’re not.”
Arthur could hear Merlin snort in the background. He slowly turned to the other man. Merlin pursed his lips tightly.
Kay looked over at Merlin. His eyebrows lifted and eyed Merlin for several seconds.
Arthur became a bit unsettled, unsure why Lord Kay was looking at Merlin with such fascination. Arthur cleared his throat.
Lord Kay looked over briefly at Arthur before turning his gaze back to Merlin. “This must be your servant.”
“Yes, that’s Merlin.”
Merlin came over and bowed to Lord Kay. “Milord.”
Kay walked over and shook Merlin’s hand.
Arthur would have laughed at how Merlin’s eyes bulged if he wasn’t so tired.
Kay walked back to Arthur. “You’re very lucky, Arthur.”
Arthur’s brow furrowed. “Lucky?”
Kay pointed towards Merlin. “He’s quite beautiful.”
“Beautiful?” Arthur sputtered. He looked back at Merlin, whose cheeks were reddening at an alarming rate. “There are a lot of words I would use to describe Merlin and beautiful is not one of them.”
Lord Kay bit his lip, looking a bit bemused. He looked over at the men standing next to him. “I’m sorry. I haven’t made the proper introductions.” He clapped the tall blonde man next to him on the shoulder. “This is Sir Tor.” He gestured to the second man, slightly shorter with medium-length brown hair. “And that is Sir Gareth. They are two of my finest knights.”
Arthur shook each of their hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
Kay then looked over at a skinny boy to his right. He put his arm around him. “This is my servant, John.”
The younger man bowed to Arthur.
Arthur tried not to stare at the way Kay was holding him. He had yet to move his arm from around his servant and was caressing the boy’s shoulder. “Hello.”
Merlin walked over and stood beside Arthur. Arthur’s gaze fell to him. Merlin was staring at Kay and John, too.
Arthur coughed. “Merlin will help John unload the horses.”
Lord Kay finally took his arm from around John. “That won’t be necessary. John will take care of your things while I show you to your room.”
“Are you sure?” Arthur asked.
Lord Kay nodded. “John can handle it. I assure you he’s much stronger than he looks.” He winked at John. The teenager laughed as he walked away.
Lord Kay, Sir Tor, and Sir Gareth walked away. Arthur shook his head. Lord Kay was certainly still as strange as Arthur remembered.
~*~
“I hope you find your room acceptable.” Lord Kay said as they reached the door.
Arthur nodded. “I’m sure I will.”
The room looked very similar to Arthur’s own chambers, except bigger. The room was decorated in various shades of white and yellow. Arthur found it a bit girlish, but it would do for a few days.
Kay nodded to Merlin. “What do you think?”
Merlin’s eyes widened a bit and he looked caught off-guard. “It’s very nice.”
“Splendid. I hope you’ll be comfortable here.”
Arthur noticed that Kay addressed his comment to Merlin. “Why would Merlin’s opinion matter?”
Lord Kay pursed his lips. “I see you haven’t changed. The comfort of your servants may not matter to you, but it’s a great deal of importance to me. This is Merlin’s room as well and-”
“Excuse me?” Arthur interrupted Lord Kay’s tirade, stepping closer to the man.
“Merlin’s opinion matters-”
Arthur interrupted him again. “I heard that part. What did you mean by this is Merlin’s room to?”
Kay rocked back on his heels as he eyed Arthur carefully. “I realize this isn’t the way it’s done in Camelot, but I assumed that’s why you brought Merlin here? You don’t have to be ashamed, Arthur. You and Merlin can share a bed here, it’s no trouble.”
Arthur just blinked at the man slowly. His mind was spinning. “Bed...” He looked over at Merlin, who was also staring in disbelief. He pointed at him. “Bed...Merlin?!”
Kay ogled Merlin. “Yes.”
Arthur’s shock momentarily subsided as his insides churned at the way Kay continued to stare at Merlin. Arthur stepped in front of Merlin, blocking Kay’s view. “I would never share a bed with Merlin.” Arthur shuddered. “That’s just insane. He’s my servant.”
Kay’s countenance changed from a leer for Merlin to a hard glare for Arthur. “Servants share a bed with the nobleman here quite frequently. That is the way it is done in our kingdom. I’m sorry if that displeases you.”
Arthur could see that Lord Kay took offense at his outburst. Arthur knew he had to tread carefully. It would not be wise to antagonize someone he had to enter into negotiations with the next day.
At that moment, John arrived with Arthur’s things. Merlin moved to help the young man but John shook his head. Merlin sighed and went back to stand beside Arthur. “Lord Kay, if I may say something?” Lord Kay nodded. “I don’t mean any disrespect to your kingdom’s traditions but Arthur and I-”
Arthur pressed a hand to Merlin’s chest to get him to stop talking. “Merlin, it’s alright. While we are in Cambia, we’ll honor their traditions.”
Kay stared at Arthur for a moment. “Are you sure, sire? I wouldn’t want to force you to do anything that goes against your high moral standards.”
Arthur smiled tightly. “No one forces me to do anything; you know that, Lord Kay.”
Kay clapped his hands together. “Wonderful!” He walked over to stand directly in front of Arthur. “I’ll let you get your rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Looking forward to it.”
Kay swiveled and faced Merlin. “It’s been very nice to meet you, Merlin. I look forward to seeing more of you tomorrow.” He took Merlin’s hand and held it between his for a moment. Merlin squirmed a little before Kay released his hand and walked out with John trailing behind him.
Merlin turned to Arthur. “I’m really surprised, Arthur. I never thought you would actually agree to share a bed with me.”
Arthur turned to face him, his eyebrows skyrocketing atop his forehead.
Merlin hung his head. “Of course not. I get to sleep on the floor.”
Arthur clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re smarter than I give you credit for.”
~*~
Arthur rolled his eyes heavenward. Merlin was trying to be quiet, but the sound of his constant squirming and turning on the ground was not letting Arthur get any sleep. Merlin was used to sleeping on less than ideal surfaces, so Arthur didn’t anticipate Merlin having such a problem. Arthur had even been nice enough to give him a pillow. He heard Merlin mumble something and sat up. Wonderful! Who talks in their sleep?
Finally, Arthur had enough. He threw his pillow over at Merlin.
“Huh?” Merlin muttered.
“It pains me to say this, Merlin but I think you should get in this bed.”
Merlin’s head popped over the top of the bed. Arthur almost laughed. Merlin looked so bewildered and almost cute. And Arthur had no idea where that thought came from.
“What? Are you sure?” Merlin asked.
“Merlin, I won’t say it again. Stay on the floor or get in the bed, it’s your choice.” Arthur flopped back down on the pillow.
Arthur could hear Merlin’s slow shuffling footsteps trudging forward. He felt the dip in the bed. Arthur felt his body tensing. He wiped his hands down on the bed. He kept his eyes closed. “Merlin?”
“Yes?”
“I’d advise you to stay on the edge of the bed. If any part of you touches me, be prepared to lose that part.” Arthur warned. Merlin didn’t say anything. Arthur just heard him gulp.
~*~
Arthur woke up to two intense blue eyes staring down at him. He blinked the sleep and confusion from his eyes and realized it was Merlin. He tried to slide away from him but Merlin was hovering above him, his arms on both sides of him trapping Arthur in place.
“Merlin, for your sake I hope you’re still asleep because if not-”
“Shh!” Merlin whispered.
Arthur’s eyes focused on Merlin’s face. Clearly it was Merlin, but he looked different to Arthur somehow. He’d never seen Merlin look so focused. His gaze never wavered from Arthur’s.His blue eyes were hypnotizing.
Merlin’s hand slid up Arthur’s thigh. “Arthur, let me do this for you. You don’t have to deny yourself this.”
“Merlin, have you-have you lost your senses completely?” Arthur’s voice faltered. He made a move to take Merlin’s hand from his thigh, but he paused. He kept his hand atop Merlin’s.
Merlin smiled. It wasn’t his usual radiant and friendly smile. This one was predatory and carnal. It stirred a deep lust within Arthur. Merlin buried his nose in Arthur’s neck. “I want you, Arthur.” He looked up and gazed into Arthur’s eyes. “Do you want me, Arthur?”
“Merlin...” Arthur’s throat was dry. He could barely speak. Arthur slid Merlin’s hand towards crotch.
“I need to hear it, Arthur. Please tell me.” Merlin pleaded.
“Merlin...”
“Yes.”
“Merlin, I...”
Arthur’s eyes sprang open. He was panting. Without moving his head, he quickly glanced over at Merlin who was still sound asleep. He had his back turned to Arthur.
Arthur threw a hand over his eyes and tried to control his breathing. This was the third time he’d had this dream, though usually in the dream, he did remove Merlin’s hand from his thigh, he didn’t move the hand to his...Arthur shook his head. He didn’t even want to think about where he guided Merlin’s hand to in his dream.
Arthur didn’t know why he was having those dreams. He was not attracted to Merlin. Other than in his dreams, he didn’t think of Merlin as a sexual being. It was the furthest thing from his mind. And yet the dream kept happening. And he always felt incredibly aroused afterwards. Arthur didn’t even need to look down to realize he was rock hard. Usually he would take care of the situation, but he couldn’t do that with Merlin next to him. With the state he was in, he couldn’t hope to remain quiet.
Arthur just rolled over, his back to Merlin, and hoped all of his blood would return to his brain soon.
~*~
Merlin knew he should get up. Whether in Camelot or not, he still had servant duties to perform. He knew Arthur would yell himself hoarse if he saw Merlin still in bed. But Merlin wanted to take a few more moments to lie in bed. This was the most comfortable bed he'd ever slept in.
Lying beside Arthur all night was a challenge. On the one hand, Merlin found the idea of sleeping in the same bed as Arthur heavenly. But in practice, it was torture. Merlin did a great job of hiding the true nature of his feelings for Arthur when they were home. He focused on his chores. And constantly having to worry about keeping Arthur safe, didn't leave a lot of time for Merlin to dwell on the overwhelming tender feelings he had for Arthur.
But here in Cambia, he wouldn't have those distractions and Merlin thought he might go insane having to share a bed with Arthur for days. He kept himself tightly coiled last night, his back turned to Arthur in case he had any involuntary bodily reactions.
Merlin slowly started to open one eye to get a peek at Arthur. He could see that Arthur was asleep or it seemed Arthur was, since his back was turned to him. Merlin was about to close his eye when he saw something move just to the corner of his line of sight. He opened one eye and gasped loudly. He skittered backwards and almost fell off the bed.
Arthur shot up in bed, his hand reaching the non-existent sword by his hip, before he had even opened his eyes. When he opened his eyes, he recoiled in surprise.
"John, what are you doing here?" Arthur screeched.
John held out his hand, his head bowed. "I am so sorry, sire. I did not mean to startle you or Merlin."
Merlin just goggled at him, still getting over his surprise.
"Lord Kay just wanted to assure that you and Merlin had breakfast as soon as possible."
Arthur looked behind John to the table in the center of the room. There was enough food on there for three days.
"Th-thank you." Arthur cleared his throat.
John bowed again. "I hope you and Merlin enjoy it."
Arthur wiped at his face. "Yes, thank..." He trailed off. "Wait, Merlin?"
John nodded. "Yes. Breakfast is for both you and Merlin."
"Now we're supposed to have breakfast together as well?" Arthur muttered.
John cocked his head to the side. "Excuse me?"
Arthur waved him off. "Never mind. Thank you."
John smiled. He gave Merlin a little wave, which made Merlin chuckle a bit. "Merlin, Lord Kay has requested that I ask you, if you wouldn't mind assisting the other servants with preparations for the feast?"
Arthur snorted loudly. "You don't need to ask Merlin's permission. What else is he going to do all day?"
Merlin ignored Arthur and addressed John. "I'll be delighted to help."
John nodded his head rapidly. "Splendid." John grinned once more at Merlin and left.
Merlin turned to Arthur. "I assume you won't be having breakfast with me. You'll expect me to forage for food elsewhere."
Merlin was surprised when Arthur actually laughed.
Arthur shook his head as he sighed. "No, Merlin. I think I can survive having breakfast with you for a few days."
Merlin smiled briefly before getting up and walking to the table. He started piling his plate high with grapes, cheeses, and ham. He hadn't realized how famished he was until he had sat down.
He looked up to see Arthur standing by the chair directly in front of him. One of Arthur's eyebrows was raised in a perfect imitation of Gaius.
Merlin looked between the food and Arthur his brow furrowing.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Merlin I can understand your confusion, thanks to Lord Kay's over generous and odd behavior, but you're still my servant. That means you serve me before helping yourself."
Merlin hastily wiped his hands on a napkin. "Sorry, sire.”
As Merlin got up, Arthur finally sat down. Merlin served him bread, eggs, and ham. Merlin sat down and waited for Arthur to start eating before he tore into his breakfast. They ate mostly in silence, an occasional slurp from Merlin punctuating the silence. Every once and awhile Arthur would look up and stare at him, his nose crinkling in distaste.
As Merlin popped a grape into his mouth and studied Arthur surreptitiously. Arthur would stare into space when he wasn’t eating. If Merlin didn’t know Arthur so well, he might not have recognized the signs, but Merlin did know Arthur and he could see that Arthur was unsettled. He kept fidgeting and he’d never seen Arthur have such a focus on watching his food as he ate. Merlin desperately wanted to know what was going on in Arthur’s head.
Merlin cleared his throat. “How did you sleep?”
Arthur shook his head before looking up at Merlin. He didn’t seem to know what Merlin had asked.
“I asked how did you sleep?”
“Just fine.” Arthur said in a clipped tone.
Merlin stared at the table, wringing his hands. He plastered a smile to his face and gazed at Arthur. “Any interesting dreams?”
Arthur’s head popped up so fast, Merlin was sure he must have sprained something. His eyes practically bulged out of his head. “Why? Did I say anything in my sleep?”
“No...”Merlin trailed off.
“Because if you heard anything you probably misinterpreted it. Your brain isn’t working at full capacity when you’re awake, you couldn’t trust anything you heard when you were half asleep.”
“I didn’t hear anything, Arthur.”
“Of course you didn’t, because there was nothing to hear. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t dream anything. Arthur gritted out.
Merlin nodded slowly. “Alright. Arthur, are you sure you’re-”
“Merlin, please stop talking.” Arthur got up. “We have a lot to do today. I need to get dressed.”
Merlin got up immediately. But Arthur held out his hand stopping Merlin’s forward movement.
“I can get dressed on my own.” He walked off without another word.
Merlin had a snarky retort on the tip of his tongue, but thought better of it. Merlin took a deep breath. He tried to hold on to the increasingly unlikely hope that Arthur’s mood would improve over the next few days.
~*~
Arthur had not been looking forward to negotiations with Lord Kay, but he welcomed the distraction that morning, anything to get away from Merlin and thoughts of him. Arthur wasn’t sure of it was the misunderstanding last night, or the usual contentiousness over the land, but Lord Kay seemed to be in less good spirits than yesterday. He became even more cross when Arthur rejected his idea to share the land around Daobeth.
Still unable to reach an agreement they decided to suspend negotiations for the day. They had to get ready for the feast Lord Kay was having for Arthur. Arthur hoped that cooler heads would prevail tomorrow.
Lord Kay invited Arthur along to check on preparations for the feast. As they walked, Arthur noticed Lord Kay watching him from time to time. Arthur soon became annoyed and unnerved. “Do you have something you wish to say?”
Lord Kay pursed his lips. He seemed to be mulling over whether to open his mouth to speak. Finally he sighed. “With all due respect to Uther, I had hoped that without his influence you may have changed. But you’re still so rigid and, might I say, a bit boring.”
Arthur shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. “I’m not boring. Is this how you behave when all your negotiations go poorly?”
"This has nothing to do with negotiations and more to do with you insisting on clinging to old traditions."
"And to what traditions are you referring?"
"You needn't deny yourself something that would make you happy and give you pleasure, just because it is not what is normally done." Lord Kay explained with some urgency in his voice. This was clearly something he felt passionate about.
Arthur was about to respond, but waited until two serving girls passed them by. The two girls stopped their chattering when they saw Arthur and Lord Kay. They bowed their heads in deference as they hurriedly passed. Arthur turned to Lord Kay. "I'm not sure what gives you the impression that I lack for any happiness in my life."
"Forgive me for saying so, Sire, but I was thinking of Merlin."
As if on cue they opened the doors to the banquet hall at that moment and heard a boisterous laugh coming from Merlin. Arthur instantly spotted Merlin who was smiling up at Sir Gareth. Arthur couldn’t remember the last time he had heard Merlin laugh like that. As the knight talked, Merlin regarded the man with wondrous eyes and laughed loudly when Sir Gareth finished speaking.
Lord Kay appeared beside Arthur. How can you not see it?”
Arthur continued stare at Merlin. “See what?”
“Merlin is a beautiful man. His eyes are captivating. They’re a blue I’ve never seen before. They’re even better than yours.”
Arthur swiveled his head sharply, scowling at the smirk on Lord Kay’s face.
“And those lips...” Lord Kay sighed deeply. “I, honestly, don’t understand how you keep your hands off him.”
Arthur swallowed. “Trust me it’s easy, believe me. He’s a servant and he’s a man...”
“This is what I was referring to when I said you were too rigid. You’re King now Arthur. I understand your sense of duty and tradition, but and it’s very admirable. My father was the same way. He was a magnificent ruler, but at home he had no joy in his life. I don’t want that for myself. I want to be happy. If I want someone, and they want me in return, why shouldn’t I have them?”
Arthur wouldn’t respond to Lord Kay. He did have to admit to himself that there was some measure of sanity to what Lord Kay was saying. But that didn’t mean he Merlin was what was going to make him happy. He did not want to bed his servant.
“Do you truly have no attraction to Merlin?” Lord Kay asked.
Arthur stared long and hard at Merlin. With a steely gaze, he turned to look at Lord Kay. “None.”
When Arthur looked forward again, Merlin turned to him with a wonderful smile on his face that dipped a little when he met Arthur’s eyes. Merlin’s gaze traveled to Arthur’s right. His smile perked up again. Arthur turned to see Lord Kay grinning at Arthur. Once again Arthur felt a churning bitterness in his chest when he saw the way Lord Kay was looking at Merlin.
Arthur needed to put a stop to this. He might not want Merlin, but he would be damned if Lord Kay took advantage of him.
~*~
Everyone was in high spirits that evening. There was lots of laughter, lively conversation, and the food was exquisite. The only one who didn’t seem to be enjoying the festivities was the supposed guest of honor. Arthur stared straight ahead, his scowl deepening before he took another sip from his goblet. It was a good think John was actually proficient at his job or Arthur’s cup would be empty. Merlin had barely been by his side all night. Though for once, Arthur really couldn’t blame Merlin. It was Lord Kay who was keeping Merlin from his duties.
Lord Kay spent most of the evening trotting Merlin around to everyone in the room. He was showing Merlin off as if he was some treasured prize. He kept flirting with Merlin and to Arthur’s surprise and chagrin, Merlin was flirting back. Lord Kay kept touching Merlin “innocently” everywhere he could find. His hands found their way on Merlin’s forearm, his shoulder, his cheek, the back of his head. When he leaned in to whisper in Merlin’s ear, Arthur practically dented the goblet in his hand. When Merlin and Kay walked closer to Arthur’s table, Arthur stood up. “Merlin, could I have a word?”
Arthur’s mouth dropped open when Merlin paid him no heed. Had the idiot gone deaf? “MERLIN!” Arthur was satisfied when Merlin practically jumped and hustled over to Arthur.
Kay turned and gave Arthur a charming smile, but Arthur could see a hint of impatience behind his eyes.
“Do you need me for something, sire?”
“Of course I need you for something. Do you think I just called you over here because I missed your company?”
Merlin barely concealed his eyes rolling heavenward. Merlin looked at him expectantly.
Arthur realized he had no idea what he wanted to say. He needed to come up with something, normally he could have a list of a hundred things for Merlin to do without breaking a sweat, but his mind was a blank at the moment. He would have asked for more to drink but his goblet was full.
“I...I need...”
Merlin raised his eyebrows.
“I need you to make sure my bed’s not too cold.” He blurted out. He immediately shut his eyes, and mentally slapped himself.
“I don’t understand. You want me to warm your bed?”
“Right...NO!” Arthur shouted. Everyone turned to stare. Arthur gritted his teeth. “That’s not what I meant. I had a difficult time sleeping last night because it was too cold in the room. I want you to make sure that the room is properly heated this time.”
“It felt alright to me.”
“Yes, and clearly your opinion is the only one that matters.”
Merlin pursed his lips. “Okay, I’ll speak to Lord Kay about that.”
He started to leave, but Arthur grabbed his hand. “Why are you so eager to run off?”
Merlin shrugged. “I thought you would want this taken care of immediately.”
“Yes. But since when do you care about that?”
Merlin smiled broadly. “You know me, Arthur. I live to serve you.” He quickly got away from Arthur’s grasp and went over to talk to Lord Kay.
Arthur huffed slightly at Merlin’s quick escape. After a few minutes, Lord Kay walked over and sat down next to Arthur. “Merlin told me you had some complaints...”
“Not complaints, concerns.” Arthur interrupted.
“I assured Merlin that everything will be taken care of. I want to make sure your stay here is comfortable.”
Arthur smiled thinly. “I appreciate that.”
“Do you like the music?” Lord Kay asked, pointing to the musicians playing the flute and the violin at the front of the room.
Arthur nodded. “It’s very nice.”
Lord Kay smiled. “I was thinking of asking Merlin to join me in a dance.”
Arthur almost choked on the ale he’d just drunk. He coughed and stared at Lord Kay. “Merlin doesn’t know how to dance.”
Lord Kay looked at him with wide eyes. “I would say that he does quite beautifully. I danced with him today.”
Arthur’s mouth dropped open. “When was that?”
“Earlier this afternoon. You’d retired to your room to read. Merlin was done with his duties for the day and we started to talk. I told him that I was a rubbish dancer and he showed me a dance that he knew.” Lord Kay looked up and smiled. “I was just telling Arthur about your dancing.”
Arthur turned, his mouth still hanging open slightly, and saw Merlin standing in front of him. Arthur’s mouth closed with a snap. He looked Merlin up and down briefly. “You know how to dance.”
Merlin chuckled. “Yes.”
“Why did I not know that you know how to dance?”
Merlin looked down at his feet. “Probably because you never bothered to ask.”
Arthur was surprised at the bitter tinge to Merlin’s words. Before he could say another word, Lord Kay stood up.
Lord Kay held out his hand to Merlin. “Would you care to dance?”
Merlin’s eyes trailed over to Arthur for a second and then he took Lord Kay’s hand. “I’d be delighted.”
Arthur watched them walk out to the middle of the room. Soon after they started to dance, more people joined them. Arthur couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Lord Kay and Merlin weren’t the only two men dancing together. Sir Tor and another servant were dancing closely as well. Arthur looked over to his left and saw Sir Gareth and John huddled close together by a pillar. Sir Gareth was whispering intimately in John’s ear. No one seemed to notice or care. It was all perfectly...normal. The world wasn’t falling in on itself and people weren’t rioting in the streets. Whatever Lord Kay was doing seemed to be working for him and the citizens of Cambia.
Arthur looked at Lord Kay and Merlin once again, and thought back to what Lord Kay had said to him earlier. Why shouldn’t he have what he truly wanted?
~*~
Arthur ended up leaving the feast fairly early. He couldn’t stand watching Lord Kay stuck to Merlin’s side and plied Merlin with alcohol. He could have put a stop to it if he wanted, but he decided to let Merlin have some fun. Arthur undressed and got into bed. Shortly afterward, Merlin walked in, or rather he stumbled in.
Merlin looked a bit startled to see Arthur in bed. “You left the feast early.”
“Can’t get anything by you, Merlin.”
Merlin rolled his eyes. He walked towards the bed, swaying at times. He looked around the darkened room. “Is everything to your satisfaction, milord?”
“Yes.”
“The temperature of the room, the color of the sheets, the number of stars in the sky...” Merlin grinned.
“There’s the cheeky bugger I know and...”
“What’s that?”
Arthur cleared his throat. “Never mind. Everything’s fine, Merlin.”
“Good.” Merlin nodded.
Arthur averted his eyes as Merlin undressed. Though Arthur couldn’t help sneaking a few glances at Merlin. He covered his mouth to hide a snicker when he saw Merlin struggling to remove his shirt. It took Merlin three tries before he got the garment over his head. He then took several minutes to struggle into his sleep shirt. After that he didn’t bother removing his pants. He just collapsed into bed.
Arthur looked over at Merlin and grinned. “Merlin, are you drunk?”
Merlin struggled to lift up his head. He looked at Arthur with crossed eyes. “I am not.”
Arthur nodded. “We’ll just see about that in the morning.”
Merlin grunted, closing his eyes.
Arthur stared at Merlin. Merlin had a cute little pout. Arthur wanted to ruffle Merlin’s hair. Arthur put his head in his hands, shaking his head furiously. Since when did he think of Merlin with words like “cute?”
He gazed at his servant again. His fingers itched to touch Merlin’s hair. He slid down in bed and closed his eyes. He tried going to sleep, but his mind was racing. After a few minutes he sat up again. “Merlin?” He nudged at him.
Merlin snuffled, but didn’t open his eyes.
Arthur nudged him again, this time a little harder. Merlin almost fell off the bed.
Merlin stopped himself from falling, grabbing onto the bed sheet and pulling himself back up. “What did you do that for?”
“Merlin, why didn’t you tell me you knew how to dance?”
Merlin groaned. “Why does it matter to you? There are lots of things you don’t know about me. I know how to juggle, too.”
Arthur’s head snapped back in surprise. “You know how to juggle? Merlin, you’re the clumsiest man on Earth, how can you juggle and dance?”
“Believe me I don’t do both at the same time.”
Arthur smiled. “I’ve known you for over four years and I should know these things.”
Merlin opened his eyes fully. He sat up slowly. “Arthur, it’s alright.” Merlin picked at the sheets. “I know that I’m just your servant and that you don’t really care about my life.”
Arthur felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. Merlin thought that he didn’t care? The thought made him physically sick. He wanted to argue with Merlin, but when he thought about it, he realized he’d given Merlin every reason to believe that.
Arthur moved closer to Merlin. “Merlin?” He waited for Merlin to look up. “The fact that you believe I don’t care about you is my failure and not yours. I am so sorry that I’ve given you reason to believe that. I know I can be...difficult...”
Merlin arched an eyebrow. “Difficult? I could think of a few other words for you.”
Arthur laughed. “Like condescending and supercilious?”
Merlin smiled, though he got a faraway look in his eyes soon after. “You remembered.”
Arthur nodded. “Yes. I do remember the things you say to me, Merlin. What you say does matter to me. You’re not just my servant, but you’re also my friend. I thought you knew that.”
Merlin shrugged. “It’s really hard to know sometimes.”
Arthur sighed. “I know. But do you think I would let just anyone talk to me the way you do? Or take just a servant’s advice. I wouldn’t have gone to Ealdor for just anyone.”
Merlin shook his head. “Yes, you would have. That is the kind of person you are. You can’t just sit back and allow someone to be taken advantage of. That’s what makes you a good person and a good king.”
Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his. “Merlin, I did it for you.”
Merlin looked down at their joined hands. “When Morgana and Gwen told me they wanted to help, it wasn’t a surprise. They were so brave and I was so grateful to them. But I knew deep down that it wouldn’t really help. I was still so scared for my mother. I didn’t know what I could do to help her. I came up with a lot of crazy plans that I knew would never work. My mother needed me and I felt helpless.” Merlin squeezed Arthur’s hand. “Until you came. The minute I saw you, I knew everything would be alright.”
Arthur ran a thumb across the back of Merlin’s hand. “Where does all of your faith in me come from?”
The corner of Merlin’s mouth twitched. “I told you, Arthur. I believe in your destiny and you’ve never proven me wrong.”
Arthur swallowed thickly. He stared down at his and Merlin’s hands. It should feel wrong and inappropriate to be holding Merlin like that, but something about it felt right.
Merlin slowly pulled his hand away from Arthur’s. He laid back on the bed. He stared up into Arthur’s eyes.
Arthur slowly laid down, facing Merlin. They never broke eye contact. “Merlin, tell me about your life in Ealdor. Tell me about Will.”
Merlin smiled.
Merlin and Arthur talked for hours Merlin told him about some of the troubles he’d gotten into at Ealdor. Merlin mentioned accidentally chopping down a neighbor’s tree. Arthur didn’t understand how he managed that, but hearing about some of his adventures, he wasn’t surprised Hunith had sent him to Camelot.
Merlin told him all about Will, about the kind and funny young man Arthur really didn’t get to meet. Merlin spoke of him with such fondness; Arthur remembered once again the sadness of Will’s death.
Arthur felt it was only fair to reciprocate his own stories. Merlin wasn’t surprised to find out that Arthur was just as stubborn as a child as he was now. He was surprised to hear about some of the mischief Arthur got into. Arthur recalled with a smile how Uther seethed when an eight year old took one of the horses and left Camelot for an entire day, just to prove that he could survive on his own. He’d gotten severely punished for weeks, but he said it was completely worth it.
It wasn’t until light started to filter in through the windows that Arthur realized they had spent the entire night talking.
Merlin slowly sat up and stretched. “I can’t believe we didn’t sleep.”
Arthur sat up and got out of bed. He should feel more tired due to the lack of sleep, but he felt strangely energized. Part of him really wanted to stay in bed and keep talking to Merlin. But there were important things that needed to be done and there were things Arthur needed to think about. He turned to Merlin. “I’m starving.”
Merlin looked over at the table in the middle of the room. “I’m surprised John hasn’t brought up breakfast yet.” He turned to Arthur and grinned. “Perhaps I’ll finally get to do my job for once.”
“You miss tending to my every need?” Arthur teased slightly.
Merlin wrinkled. “I wouldn’t go that far.” But he smiled widely as he walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob. He turned back to Arthur. “Thank you for last night, Arthur. It’s good to know you really care.”
Arthur didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.
Part II