Bad Mushy Poetry Contest -- Judging
Submissions for the Bad Mushy Poetry Contest are now closed and judging will run from right now until 11:59 PM (EST) March 20.
Poems will be posted here, with voting done here. One vote per mun, please.
Poem 1
It never gets old, huh?
Nope.
It kinda makes you want to…
Break into song?
Yep.
I love the forest,
I love the vintage town,
I love free housing,
I love when Renge posts,
I love the cracky plots,
And all the loopiness,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
I love the onsen,
I love big party logs,
I love to freak out
At the crazy events,
I love that silly cave,
That no one goes into,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
I love amnesia,
I love Teatime,
He loves when Grif dies,
I love the weaponry,
I love this roleplay,
It’s such a moe place,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada…
[Memento Eden is just awesome]
Poem 2
Mikuru and Trunks
Blushingly walk hand in hand
With several stalkers
Poem 3
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Where that shot came from, I don't know
But I'm madly in love now, it must be so
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
A fair young maiden with long flowing hair
Her gentle smile lets me walk on air
I will protect her with ever-loving care
A fair young maiden with long flowing hair
How could I find one so sublime
I come from a world of ruin and grime
To feel such joy in this place and time
How could I find one so sublime
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Where that shot came from, I don't know
But I'm madly in love now, it must be so
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Poem 4
The Serenade of a Thousand-Year-Bachelor Amnesiac
Last I heard, you were quite enchanted
by the striking power of my metaphor.
Allow me to grant you this highly structured and not in any way free verse (despite the number of syllables in this line; it is quite allowed by modernist standards -- modernist and yet brilliantly structured, mathematically proven, I can show you the algorithm) poem.
Thou canne tell by mine olde Englysh spellyngs.
I chanced upon a Renge to-night.
She perched above my chamber door,
Crying here, in a murderous fright
Not of some strained and oft-used nevermore
But of her ship that I had broken last night--
Broken against some cliff at sea,
And here I pause for literary allusion,
But I had used Cliffnotes, oh irony,
So please forgive this misplaced intrusion,
I need to read D.Gray Man or The Odyssey.
And the ship crashed and sunk,
You see, because of my poverty,
Even worse than that Dante hunk,
Who left the island by edict of sovereignty.
Anyway, you know I don't mean it when I'm drunk.
So, I am sure that a powerful reaction
Is again brewing on your face as you read,
Just as we last met in conscious action,
And with a metaphor I did proceed:
The strength of our attraction
Is the mental calm of Lambo,
Is the gentleness of Franziska,
Is the forgivefulness of Kyoko,
Is the indulgent nature of Ledah --
Quite great, you see, so
I suggest you, of yourself, gauge
For upon parting, you informed me that
I was as clueless as Red Mage:
A sage man, aside from his hat.
Let me criticize this; do not feel rage.
To communicate clearly, analogies must be fed
With caution. I understand that you meant
That I am thoroughly fine-bred
And possess knowledge to a great extent.
But had I misunderstood, and fled?
What a loss you would find, in miscommunication!
But I say, it is my fault nonetheless,
Since chicks dig that sort of fabrication.
With great fortune, your meaning I could guess,
And come back for you, instead of leaving in frustration.
So mend this ship! It is not any
"skewed world-view" of mine that breaks it.
In fact, we are quite intact, but I shall be many
phrases over the word limit
If I discuss that fling with Byakuran-y.
So I send this in affection sublime,
And may your heart flutter and stop
But not to the extent that Teatime
Would take it. Quick, hand me a cop!
I made sure this last phrase rhymes.
(But wait! There's more!
This poem will revitalize your youth,
And exfoliate every pore;
Grant more orgasms forsooth,
All for nineteen ninety-four.)
Poem 5
KYOUYA:
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and my harem is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon
Who is already insane and pale with obsession
That thou her megane dream art far more fair than she.
It is my fangirl! O, it is my victim!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing of importance.
RENGE:
Ay me!
KYOUYA:
She speaks.
O speak again, so I may track
You down by the sound of thine voice.
RENGE:
O Kyouya, Kyouya! Wherefore art thou Kyouya!
Deny thy obsession with money and refuse thy memories of hating me;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And we’ll have a fabulous wedding at the onsen.
KYOUYA [Aside]:
Shall I hear more, or shall I make my move?
RENGE:
‘Tis but thy memories that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not the ideal megane yet.
What’s Megane? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, but instead, sexy glasses.
What’s in a megane? That which we call a moe
By any other word would be as cute,
But that doesn’t work with megane because
They have to be wearing glasses.
So Kyouya would, were he not Megane called as well,
Not retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.
KYOUYA:
I must silence the fangirl
Before she ruins a classical, beloved work
Although I fear I have come too late.
If this historic classic is forever tainted by her words;
Henceforth I never will be Kyouya.
Poem 6
So many women, so large chested
too bad they all want me arrested.
They want to make me pay
for a round in the hay
My patience has been sorely tested
Poem 7
If I were at home with you today
I'd be sure to write a poem this way
To pay you back for a chocolate treat
I'll declare my love in words as sweet
The lake here mirrors your shining face
Your scent puts these flowers to drab disgrace
A town library could never hold quite enough
Romantic words and fair literary fluff
To please the one who knows me best
And lays there beside me while I rest
Or at least that's the way it used to be
Now all I knew has been set free
It wanders there just out of reach
Until I gather it up, desperate for each
So while I wait, I'll think of you
Though I remember not if your eyes were blue
Or if you tilted your head each time you laughed
Nor whether you're pretty, or dull, or daft
I'll dream of us sailing in a boat
And to all my pals I'll praise you and gloat
Because this is the way I imagine you are
The most amazing girl... I think... by far
Poem 8
Sonnet to Shipping Practices
Dear'st love, long have I watch'd from afar
And o'r thou visage so moe I weep'd
But now thy window twas't left ajar
Now I may watch thee as thou sleeps.
Too creepy, mine heart was thus revealed,
And from thy journal 'twas I banned.
O woe, how greatly might we have appealed
If only I 'twere not a man.
No flaws of mine would cause muns worry,
For naught shall tide an excuse for yuri.
Poem 9
Ode to an Amnesiac Pair of Giant Breasts Attatched to a Woman
My lovely lovliest darling
We have amnesia, 'tis true
Still, I see no reason why
I cannot seek to woo you
Though without my recollections
to use as reference frame
I have naught but this accursed odd little island
to compare to your name
Your eyes are the hot spring
exotic and steaming
Your navel is the coliseum
where weapons are gleaming
Your face smells of the park
and your hands of the wharf
Your spine is the mountains
Your "melon field's" not dwarf
Your smile is the apartment
ever adding more floors
Your mind's the mayor's office
Secret behind closed doors
Your ***** are the forest
Nestled within is the ****
Yes, that is your ******
***** I **** ** ** down!
And, your feet are the people
when you wiggle your toes ...
Oh forget it, I know it
this poem just BLOWS!
Poem 10
By now my husband's name I long forgot,
Although his ring still glimmers on my hand.
Sometimes I think I'll sell this shiny band
To buy a long a long vacation on a yacht.
Without my ring, a married woman I
No longer am; I wonder who I'll meet.
Perhaps suntanning in the ocean heat
Half-naked, glist'ning, pretty kind of guy?
A brilliant, perfect plan is my design.
Except how come your ring doth match with mine?
Poem 11
Memento Eden,
Though you are an island made of sand,
And faggotry,
My heart is made of only soil,
From which grows a love,
And faggotry.
Those who I have met here,
Have dazzled me, (except the Bard)
Much like Vampires, on a spring day,
That don’t wear shirts.
And that’s an awful lot.
So I write this now, for all of you.
Lelouch Lamperouge,
My darling, your name is very long,
Like a very long thing,
That is hard to put on scantrons,
But even so, it is easy for you,
To fill in the bubbles of my heart.
Winry Rockbell,
Your hair is quite yellow,
Like mustard,
Which is good on hot dogs.
Buns are good on hot dogs, too.
I like your buns.
Captain Aizen Mc Evil Society of Evil,
Your intelligence is second to none,
You look at me and I stop thinking,
But I think you must still be thinking,
When I stop thinking.
So you seem really smart. I think.
Fay D. Fluorite, Mommy-san,
Some people may call you flaming,
But I tell them otherwise,
Because you are rarely on fire.
But if you were-we could roast marshmallows.
And then go to the hospital.
Kid, with your hair so skunk-like,
Love might only be a four-letter word,
But I love you seven days a week,
Seven is a five-letter word,
Which is ironic,
Which is a six-letter word. Which is symmetrical.
Renge, fangirl of epic proportion,
You, whose publications touch so
Many lives,
And who are also a bit touched,
In the head,
I wish I could touch you too.
And elusive Mayor Ari,
In short, my dear, (haha, a pun)
You are my everything,
The air I breathe,
Which might explain why you’re invisible,
And don’t return my calls.
…
Oh.
Edit: Okay, LJ is having issues posting polls. Please vote here.
Poems will be posted here, with voting done here. One vote per mun, please.
Poem 1
It never gets old, huh?
Nope.
It kinda makes you want to…
Break into song?
Yep.
I love the forest,
I love the vintage town,
I love free housing,
I love when Renge posts,
I love the cracky plots,
And all the loopiness,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
I love the onsen,
I love big party logs,
I love to freak out
At the crazy events,
I love that silly cave,
That no one goes into,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
I love amnesia,
I love Teatime,
He loves when Grif dies,
I love the weaponry,
I love this roleplay,
It’s such a moe place,
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada
Boom de yada, boom de yada…
[Memento Eden is just awesome]
Poem 2
Mikuru and Trunks
Blushingly walk hand in hand
With several stalkers
Poem 3
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Where that shot came from, I don't know
But I'm madly in love now, it must be so
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
A fair young maiden with long flowing hair
Her gentle smile lets me walk on air
I will protect her with ever-loving care
A fair young maiden with long flowing hair
How could I find one so sublime
I come from a world of ruin and grime
To feel such joy in this place and time
How could I find one so sublime
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Where that shot came from, I don't know
But I'm madly in love now, it must be so
I've just been shot by Cupid's bow
Poem 4
The Serenade of a Thousand-Year-Bachelor Amnesiac
Last I heard, you were quite enchanted
by the striking power of my metaphor.
Allow me to grant you this highly structured and not in any way free verse (despite the number of syllables in this line; it is quite allowed by modernist standards -- modernist and yet brilliantly structured, mathematically proven, I can show you the algorithm) poem.
Thou canne tell by mine olde Englysh spellyngs.
I chanced upon a Renge to-night.
She perched above my chamber door,
Crying here, in a murderous fright
Not of some strained and oft-used nevermore
But of her ship that I had broken last night--
Broken against some cliff at sea,
And here I pause for literary allusion,
But I had used Cliffnotes, oh irony,
So please forgive this misplaced intrusion,
I need to read D.Gray Man or The Odyssey.
And the ship crashed and sunk,
You see, because of my poverty,
Even worse than that Dante hunk,
Who left the island by edict of sovereignty.
Anyway, you know I don't mean it when I'm drunk.
So, I am sure that a powerful reaction
Is again brewing on your face as you read,
Just as we last met in conscious action,
And with a metaphor I did proceed:
The strength of our attraction
Is the mental calm of Lambo,
Is the gentleness of Franziska,
Is the forgivefulness of Kyoko,
Is the indulgent nature of Ledah --
Quite great, you see, so
I suggest you, of yourself, gauge
For upon parting, you informed me that
I was as clueless as Red Mage:
A sage man, aside from his hat.
Let me criticize this; do not feel rage.
To communicate clearly, analogies must be fed
With caution. I understand that you meant
That I am thoroughly fine-bred
And possess knowledge to a great extent.
But had I misunderstood, and fled?
What a loss you would find, in miscommunication!
But I say, it is my fault nonetheless,
Since chicks dig that sort of fabrication.
With great fortune, your meaning I could guess,
And come back for you, instead of leaving in frustration.
So mend this ship! It is not any
"skewed world-view" of mine that breaks it.
In fact, we are quite intact, but I shall be many
phrases over the word limit
If I discuss that fling with Byakuran-y.
So I send this in affection sublime,
And may your heart flutter and stop
But not to the extent that Teatime
Would take it. Quick, hand me a cop!
I made sure this last phrase rhymes.
(But wait! There's more!
This poem will revitalize your youth,
And exfoliate every pore;
Grant more orgasms forsooth,
All for nineteen ninety-four.)
Poem 5
KYOUYA:
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and my harem is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon
Who is already insane and pale with obsession
That thou her megane dream art far more fair than she.
It is my fangirl! O, it is my victim!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing of importance.
RENGE:
Ay me!
KYOUYA:
She speaks.
O speak again, so I may track
You down by the sound of thine voice.
RENGE:
O Kyouya, Kyouya! Wherefore art thou Kyouya!
Deny thy obsession with money and refuse thy memories of hating me;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And we’ll have a fabulous wedding at the onsen.
KYOUYA [Aside]:
Shall I hear more, or shall I make my move?
RENGE:
‘Tis but thy memories that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not the ideal megane yet.
What’s Megane? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, but instead, sexy glasses.
What’s in a megane? That which we call a moe
By any other word would be as cute,
But that doesn’t work with megane because
They have to be wearing glasses.
So Kyouya would, were he not Megane called as well,
Not retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.
KYOUYA:
I must silence the fangirl
Before she ruins a classical, beloved work
Although I fear I have come too late.
If this historic classic is forever tainted by her words;
Henceforth I never will be Kyouya.
Poem 6
So many women, so large chested
too bad they all want me arrested.
They want to make me pay
for a round in the hay
My patience has been sorely tested
Poem 7
If I were at home with you today
I'd be sure to write a poem this way
To pay you back for a chocolate treat
I'll declare my love in words as sweet
The lake here mirrors your shining face
Your scent puts these flowers to drab disgrace
A town library could never hold quite enough
Romantic words and fair literary fluff
To please the one who knows me best
And lays there beside me while I rest
Or at least that's the way it used to be
Now all I knew has been set free
It wanders there just out of reach
Until I gather it up, desperate for each
So while I wait, I'll think of you
Though I remember not if your eyes were blue
Or if you tilted your head each time you laughed
Nor whether you're pretty, or dull, or daft
I'll dream of us sailing in a boat
And to all my pals I'll praise you and gloat
Because this is the way I imagine you are
The most amazing girl... I think... by far
Poem 8
Sonnet to Shipping Practices
Dear'st love, long have I watch'd from afar
And o'r thou visage so moe I weep'd
But now thy window twas't left ajar
Now I may watch thee as thou sleeps.
Too creepy, mine heart was thus revealed,
And from thy journal 'twas I banned.
O woe, how greatly might we have appealed
If only I 'twere not a man.
No flaws of mine would cause muns worry,
For naught shall tide an excuse for yuri.
Poem 9
Ode to an Amnesiac Pair of Giant Breasts Attatched to a Woman
My lovely lovliest darling
We have amnesia, 'tis true
Still, I see no reason why
I cannot seek to woo you
Though without my recollections
to use as reference frame
I have naught but this accursed odd little island
to compare to your name
Your eyes are the hot spring
exotic and steaming
Your navel is the coliseum
where weapons are gleaming
Your face smells of the park
and your hands of the wharf
Your spine is the mountains
Your "melon field's" not dwarf
Your smile is the apartment
ever adding more floors
Your mind's the mayor's office
Secret behind closed doors
Your ***** are the forest
Nestled within is the ****
Yes, that is your ******
***** I **** ** ** down!
And, your feet are the people
when you wiggle your toes ...
Oh forget it, I know it
this poem just BLOWS!
Poem 10
By now my husband's name I long forgot,
Although his ring still glimmers on my hand.
Sometimes I think I'll sell this shiny band
To buy a long a long vacation on a yacht.
Without my ring, a married woman I
No longer am; I wonder who I'll meet.
Perhaps suntanning in the ocean heat
Half-naked, glist'ning, pretty kind of guy?
A brilliant, perfect plan is my design.
Except how come your ring doth match with mine?
Poem 11
Memento Eden,
Though you are an island made of sand,
And faggotry,
My heart is made of only soil,
From which grows a love,
And faggotry.
Those who I have met here,
Have dazzled me, (except the Bard)
Much like Vampires, on a spring day,
That don’t wear shirts.
And that’s an awful lot.
So I write this now, for all of you.
Lelouch Lamperouge,
My darling, your name is very long,
Like a very long thing,
That is hard to put on scantrons,
But even so, it is easy for you,
To fill in the bubbles of my heart.
Winry Rockbell,
Your hair is quite yellow,
Like mustard,
Which is good on hot dogs.
Buns are good on hot dogs, too.
I like your buns.
Captain Aizen Mc Evil Society of Evil,
Your intelligence is second to none,
You look at me and I stop thinking,
But I think you must still be thinking,
When I stop thinking.
So you seem really smart. I think.
Fay D. Fluorite, Mommy-san,
Some people may call you flaming,
But I tell them otherwise,
Because you are rarely on fire.
But if you were-we could roast marshmallows.
And then go to the hospital.
Kid, with your hair so skunk-like,
Love might only be a four-letter word,
But I love you seven days a week,
Seven is a five-letter word,
Which is ironic,
Which is a six-letter word. Which is symmetrical.
Renge, fangirl of epic proportion,
You, whose publications touch so
Many lives,
And who are also a bit touched,
In the head,
I wish I could touch you too.
And elusive Mayor Ari,
In short, my dear, (haha, a pun)
You are my everything,
The air I breathe,
Which might explain why you’re invisible,
And don’t return my calls.
…
Oh.
Edit: Okay, LJ is having issues posting polls. Please vote here.